by Donald Wells
Rollins focuses his attention on Charlotte. She’s shown no emotion throughout the playing of the recording and he finds this more chilling than the recording itself. The tape stops.
“Will charges be brought against my son?” Charlotte asks.
“That would be one option, yes. Also, there is evidence of the intentional drugging of Miss Parker for the purpose of committing rape.”
“Whatevidence?” Asks Derek.
“I am sorry Mr. Stern, I cannot understand you.” Rollins says.
“He asked what evidence do you have.” Charlotte says.
“There was a small amount of residue left behind at the scene of the rape, residue of a powerful drug, Dipipanone, an opiate. When Mr. Stern was brought to the hospital for care, a bottle containing this same drug was found to be in his possession.”
“I see.” Charlotte says. “You said charging my son with rape would be one option, what do you propose as another?”
“I would think it advantageous to all if the charges against Mr. Reynolds were dropped, and all intended charges against Mr. Stern not filed.” Rollins says. “Also, any property damage costs would be ignored.”
“I see.” Charlotte says, and her tone tells Rollins that he has been seen, and measured. She then glowers at Lindsay. “You would ruin my son’s life by pressing rape charges? You would take him away from me?”
“In a heartbeat,” Lindsay says coldly.
At that moment, something flickers across Charlotte’s face that causes Lindsay to involuntarily shiver.
Charlotte then turns back to Rollins. “We’ll drop all charges, however—”
Here, Derek begins a rasping scream of profanities and objections against the charges being dropped.
“WHAT?YOUCAN’TJUSTDROPTHECHARGESAGAINSTTHISFUCKINGPRICKI—”
“Derek be silent.” Charlotte says, and immediately, Derek is silent.
“As I was saying, we will drop all charges, however I insist on having possession of that tape. Is it the only copy?”
“Yes. You will all have to sign an affidavit stating you will not file the same or similar charges against Mr. Reynolds in the future over this incident, afterward, the tape will be yours.”
Charlotte nods her agreement. “Give us the affidavit and we’ll sign it, but I am leaving with that tape.”
Rollins opens the manila folder and brings out the appropriate papers. Charlotte, Derek and McGee sign, and Rollins hands the cassette tape to Charlotte.
Frank Parker rubs his hand over his bald spot in frustration.
“Wait a minute, this jerk rapes my daughter and he gets to walk away clean? He should be punished!”
“Daddy be quiet.” Lindsay says. “Jason is out of trouble and that’s all that matters.”
Rollins says, “I understand your consternation Mr. Parker, however I would say that Mr. Reynolds did exert some degree of punishment.” and at this he looks at Derek and grimaces. The purplish bruising around Derek’s throat looks extremely painful.
Frank grumbles. “It’s not enough I say.”
Rollins stands. “I think that has resolved everything and I thank everyone for coming, particularly you Mr. Stern.”
“Fuckyouasshole.” Mumbles the Mummy, then, he and Charlotte exit the room with McGee.
Paul is staring at Rollins in awe. Paul has known since he was five-years-old that he wanted to be a police officer, now he knows what kind he wants to be.
Lindsay and Marjorie speak at the same time. “Oh thank God he’s free!”
Lindsay turns to Jason and hugs him so hard that he grunts in pain, she’d forgotten about his cracked rib.
“Oh God, I’m sorry, I forgot you were hurt.”
“One of your hugs is worth a little pain anytime honey.”
“I seem to keep causing you pain, don’t I?”
“What’s that supposed to mean? Lindsay none of this was your fault. You know that don’t you? Lindsay?”
Lindsay doesn’t answer.
11
Overcome with relief that their son was freed from jail, Jason’s parents bought his graduation present early, a new car. It’s a two-door Chevy Nova, chocolate brown with a manual transmission, but it’s all his.
On a Friday evening in early April, Jason lies holding Lindsay after having just made love. They are in the cabin’s master bedroom, the fireplace providing the only light. So quiet is the night, that the sound of the crashing waves can be heard from the shore below.
It’s been nearly two months since the rape and in that time Jason notices that Lindsay seems to have grown distant, of late, even cold toward him. But not tonight, tonight she made love to him with an uncharacteristic aggressiveness that Jason thought seemed anxious, nearly desperate.
The room possesses the musky scent of recent sex and their bodies are still moist from exertion. She lies against his left side with her head resting on his shoulder and looks into his eyes.
“Jason… if you want to break up, I’ll understand.”
“What? What the hell would make you think I’d want to break up?”
“This is the first time we’ve made love since I was raped.”
Jason kisses her gently on the forehead. “I was just giving you some time, that’s all.”
Lindsay lowers her eyes. “I was starting to think that the rape made me seem, I don’t know… like damaged goods, and you were turned off or something.” And despite fearing what she might see there, she now looks up into his eyes. What she sees is a look of incredulity.
“Damaged goods?’ Lindsay don’t you know you’re the most precious thing in the world to me? Baby, don’t ever think like that. Is this what’s been bothering you lately? If it is, you’ve got nothing to worry about.”
They grow quiet, as the fire burns less fiercely now and the light begins to dim.
Evaporating perspiration invites a chill and Lindsay reaches to the foot of the bed and pulls up the blanket, wrapping her and Jason within it.
“Lindsay,”
“Yes?”
“There’s something else, isn’t there?”
Beneath the blanket, Lindsay caresses her stomach and considers telling Jason the truth, considers telling him that she’s pregnant.
She’d been late, she, who’d been as reliable as a sunrise since the age of twelve. She denied it to herself, but after a time late becomes pregnant. Still, it wasn’t until the doctor at the free clinic provided confirmation that she truly believed it.
She was pregnant, and because of the rape she couldn’t be sure if it was Jason’s, or Derek’s.
“I, I just have a problem that I have to work through alone.”
“God how I wish you trusted me.”
“I do trust you, I do, I just…”
Jason feels her quiver and knows she’s crying, her tears then fall upon his chest.
Nearly pleading, Lindsay whispers, “Make love to me again, I want you inside me, only you.”
Jason says nothing, but guides Lindsay unto her back and begins kissing her, tasting the salt of her tears, and in the sparse light of a dying fire, holds on desperately to the woman he loves.
* * *
A week later, Lindsay and Simone are at the mall, browsing through racks of bright spring clothing, Lindsay has been unusually quiet and Simone searches for a way to open her up.
She holds up a garish blouse. “Hey Lind, what do you think of this one? Should I buy it?”
Lindsay looks at the garment. “It’s not you Simone.”
“Lindsay, hey I was kidding, who’d wear this? You don’t seem like yourself lately, is something wrong? You can tell me, I’m your friend.”
Lindsay begins to cry and Simone leads her from the store, outside, they sit in a quiet corner.
“Honey, what’s wrong?”
“There’s something I have to work through. It’ll all be over by eleven o’clock tomorrow morning so don’t worry about me—and tell Jason not to worry too.”
Simone looks sur
prised. “You knew that Jason asked me to talk to you?”
“No, but I know Jason. I know he thinks I’m keeping something from him. But there are just some things people have to work out for themselves, that’s all.”
“Okay, I won’t pry anymore. I just wanted to help… was I being nosy?”
“No Simone, you were being my friend. C’mon let’s go spend some money.”
* * *
Saturday morning the phone rings at Jason’s house and his sister Angie snatches it up.
“Hello?”
“Hi, Angie?”
“Yes?”
“Hi honey, it’s Simone.”
“Oh hi Simone,”
“I was hoping you’d answer, I wanted to congratulate you on your engagement.”
“Thanks, and you’re invited to the wedding, but hey, if you’re looking for Paul, he’s not here.”
“That’s okay; I actually called to speak to Jason.”
“Jason? Uh, Simone, sure, sure let me call him.”
“Jas, phone! Oh here he comes, bye bye Simone.”
Angie hands Jason the phone while giving him a curious look.
“What? Why are you looking at me like that? Oh Angie stop, grow up. It’s not like that, she’s Paul’s girlfriend. We’re just friends; you know I’m with Lindsay.”
Angie says, “Only teasing little brother,” and walks off laughing.
“Hi Simone,”
“Hi Jason, listen, I talked to Lindsay and she wouldn’t tell me what the problem was, but she did say it would be over by eleven a.m. today.”
“What kind of problem can you schedule an appointment for? That doesn’t make sense.”
“I know but—oh my God, an appointment.”
“Simone what is it? What’s wrong?”
“I, I think she might be having an abortion.”
“An abortion? No, she would tell me if she were pregnant.”
“Jason, the rape, maybe she’s afraid it’s, it’s Derek’s. Oh God, what she must have been going through wondering if it was yours or his.”
“Simone it’s nearly noon, she may have already—oh Lindsay.”
“Maybe I’m wrong, maybe it was something else.”
“I’ll know soon, we’re meeting at the cabin later.”
“I hope I’m wrong.”
“Me too, listen, thanks for everything. I’ve… got some shopping to do, goodbye.”
Simone says goodbye and Jason hangs up. He goes upstairs to his bedroom and takes out a metal lockbox. After removing the contents, he makes his way to the nearest jewelry store.
* * *
At the cabin, Jason has the fireplace lit and a bottle of champagne chilling in the refrigerator. Once more he looks at the ring, the diamond twinkles like a solitary star. Lindsay arrives and Jason stuffs the ring box back into his jeans. He goes to kiss her, but she holds him away.
“I guess you’ve noticed that I’ve been different lately.” She says.
“You’ve been distant lately.”
“I know and I’m sorry. I had something to work out.”
“And did you… work it out?” Jason says, while grimacing at the choice of words.
“Let’s sit down; I have things to tell you.” Lindsay says.
“All right, but when you’re done I have something important to ask you.”
They sit in front of the fireplace, Jason notices that Lindsay sits apart from him.
“What do you have to tell me?”
“Jason I, I had an abortion.”
“I thought that might be it. I was hoping I was wrong.”
“You knew? How could you know?”
“Simone figured it out.”
Lindsay sighs. “It was for the best, it could have been Derek’s.”
“I wouldn’t have cared. I love you and I would’ve loved the baby.”
“That’s easy to say.”
Jason reaches out to her. “Come here.” He takes her in his arms and Lindsay hugs him back as if he were on fire.
Jason releases her. “Are you all right honey, you seem so, so cold.”
“…I don’t want to see you anymore.”
“What do you mean?” He asks, as the diamond in his pocket suddenly feels as precious as a pebble.
“I’m breaking up with you, we’re no good together, all I do is cause you pain.”
“Pain? Lindsay, you’re the greatest pleasure I’ve ever known. I love you.”
Lindsay rises. She stands in front of the fireplace, the logs crackle as the flames dance high, but Lindsay shivers, the heat unfelt. Jason follows and stands beside her.
“Jason I nearly ruined your life with my stupidity. I don’t want to hurt you again.”
“Hurt me? You’re killing me. I can’t live without you. I love you so much… you, you’re my star.”
“Your star?”
He takes her hands. “Do you remember how we met?”
Lindsay smiles, thinking back. “It was my first day of school here, I dropped my notebook and my stories went flying everywhere, you helped me pick up the pages.”
“On one of the pages you had written, My Star by Lindsay Parker.
“Oh my God you remember that?”
“I remember everything of every moment I’ve ever spent with you. I’ve loved you since that first day. I’ll always love you.”
“Jason we were only, what, seven or eight-years-old?”
“Had I laid eyes on you at birth I’d have loved you then. I love you Lindsay, you’re my star; I only shine in your light.”
Tears run down Lindsay’s face. “Oh God, you’re making this so hard.”
She takes her hands from him and sits on the sofa, as she’s wiping her tears away she speaks.
“I didn’t want to tell you this. I was trying not to hurt your feelings, but Jason, I’m bored. I want to see other guys. I’m not ready to be tied down yet; it’s partly why I didn’t have the baby. I’m sorry, really, I don’t mean to hurt you, but that’s how I feel.”
Jason shakes his head no, as tears form at the corners of his eyes.
“You’re lying. You love me, I know you love me.”
“I’m sorry Jason, but it’s best for both of us. You’ll be going to college soon, you’ll meet someone else.”
“Someone else? There is no one else.”
“I’m sorry, but we’re over.”
“You’re sorry? Lindsay don’t do this, I love you.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Stop saying that!” Jason raises his hands to the sides of his head as if to keep it from exploding, his eyes are clenched tight.
Lindsay stands up and lowers Jason’s hands, she then holds them. He looks into her beautiful face and cries without shame.
“Goodbye Jason.” She says, releases him, and walks away. As she opens the door she turns. “What was the question you wanted to ask?”
Jason wipes at his eyes. “It doesn’t matter anymore.”
“Goodbye.” Lindsay says once more, and then she’s gone.
Jason stumbles to the sofa and collapses. He removes the box from his pocket and looks at the ring.
Since his first job cutting grass at the age of nine he has put aside money to buy it. He has loved Lindsay Parker for as long as he can remember, his love for her surviving her years of indifference, and his own torturous doubts. Then, finally, she turned to him, finally she loved him, but now, now she’s gone.
Had her love truly waned or was his simply not enough?
If his love was insufficient, then there is no hope, for as God is his witness, he could not love her more.
A tear falls, striking the stone, coating it in misery. Jason closes the box and crushes it in his trembling right hand, then, screaming, he hurls the box into the fire and sits crying, while wondering what the hell he’s supposed to do with the rest of his life.
12
It’s Saturday evening, and in the foyer of the Stern estate, McGee watches Derek examine himself in th
e mirror.
What a lucky prick. He gets the crap beat out of his already movie star face and when the bandages come off he actually looks better.
Derek smiles at his reflection. The near fatal beating and strangling combined to remove the immature sheen of youth from his face. At eighteen, he now looks twenty-five.
“What are you staring at McGee? You’re not going queer on me are you?” Derek says.
The voice too is different. Jason’s hands permanently changed the timbre of his speech. This was also for the better; his voice now has about it a richer, more resonant quality.
“Nah kid, I just can’t believe how good you look after that beating Reynolds gave you.”
Derek turns from the mirror. “He kicked your ass too.”
McGee smiles, “That’s an occupational hazard kid.”
“Fuck that! I want revenge, I want Jason to suffer.”
“In that case, you gotta think long term.”
“How do I do that? What do I do?”
“You be patient and wait for an in.”
“An ‘in?” Derek asks.
“Yeah kid, an ‘in’, stay patient and your chance will come.”
* * *
Jason, Paul and Simone are sitting at their regular booth in the Beach Club Diner. Jason has just told them about Lindsay breaking up with him.
Simone reaches over and takes his hand.
“Are you going to be all right?”
Jason looks at her and simply says. “No.”
“I can’t believe Lindsay wants to see other guys; that doesn’t sound like her.” Paul says.
“No, it doesn’t.” Simone says. She then talks to Jason while gripping his hand tighter. “Jason, feel my hand. That’s the hand of a friend, if you need to talk, call me, or call Paul, but don’t sit alone and suffer, sometimes talking helps, really.”
Jason looks across at Simone and almost smiles. “It’s helping right now, thanks.”
Simone releases his hand and turns to Paul. “Honey, please keep an eye on him.”
“I will, don’t worry baby, Jason wouldn’t do anything crazy.”
“Oh great,” Jason says. “Now you’re talking about me like I’m not here. Guys don’t worry. Lindsay and I belong together; she just needs time to realize that.”