by Donald Wells
Jason kneels down and wipes her tears away.
“Are you all right?”
“Oh Jason, I’m just so sorry.”
“Honey, no matter what that paper says Derek can’t touch her. She’s safe here with us. She’s ours and she’s going to stay ours forever.”
“But she’s not yours, oh God I’m so sorry she’s not yours I—”
Jason grips her firmly by the shoulders and stares into her eyes.
“She will always be mine—always.”
Jason kisses Lindsay gently on the forehead; he then goes back outside to be with his daughter.
Lindsay rises from her seat and opens the sliding glass door, watching him closely as he rejoins Simona by the unfinished doghouse. Jason is talking and laughing with her.
I might as well have told him it looked like rain for all he cares.
“Oh daddy,” Simona says, and it carries to Lindsay, standing in the doorway, followed by the sounds of laughter, as father and daughter create shelter for the family dog.
Oh daddy, Lindsay thinks. Oh daddy indeed.
26
Derek looks at the young woman—Karen Temple—seated across from him and smiles. He guesses she’s maybe nineteen and from her obvious nervousness around him not very experienced sexually.
His smile widens, nerves can be calmed and experience bestowed.
He’s observed her at his lawyer’s office on several occasions and hardly given her a second glance, yet she, like most women, could barely keep her eyes off him. She is not stunning, but by no means homely either. Derek rates her a seven, but knows that estimate could rise or fall depending on her… performance.
They’re having dinner in The Star View; both of them are on their second drinks with lobster tails on the way. Here, the silverware is heavy; the tablecloths are linen, and the staff, well trained. It is easily the Island’s grandest eatery. The Star View rests atop the Ocean Beach Hotel and grants a spectacular view of the Atlantic by day and, appropriately, the stars at night.
Karen gazes out at the night sky. “When you said you wanted to take me out to dinner I didn’t expect this, this is so nice Senator, thank you.”
“You’re welcome Karen, although I must admit, there’s something I want from you.”
Derek watches her blush and fights the urge to laugh.
“What could you possibly want from me Senator?” Karen asks, while not meeting his eyes.
“Well, for one thing, information.”
With a tone of disappointment Karen says. “Information?”
“Yes, I understand that you typed my mother’s new will, I’d like to know what’s in it.”
“Senator, they have these rules at the office, I’m not allowed to—”
He reaches over and takes her hand. “Please, call me Derek.”
Karen reacts to his touch by moaning, a nearly imperceptible sound of “Oooohh” exhaled.
“I would tell you really, but I don’t want to get into trouble.”
Derek smiles sincerely, while wondering if Karen’s bra unfastens in the front or the back.
“There won’t be any trouble; I’m only looking out for my mother’s interests. I assume she’s leaving the bulk of her estate to me, I only want to know if that’s the case, or if any unscrupulous people have finagled their way into her will.”
Karen returns his smile, relieved. “Oh, well I guess I can tell you that much. You’re right, she leaves everything to you.”
Perfect, all systems are go.
Derek now massages the back of Karen’s hand with his thumb. “Thank you for your help, by the way, I’d love to spend time alone with you, would that be all right?”
Karen answers in a throaty voice. “I’d like that a lot Derek.”
Following dinner, they make their way to his suite in the hotel, and Derek’s curiosity is appeased—her bra unfastens in the front, and her rating increases to an eight.
* * *
At the cabin, Lindsay stares vacantly into the dormant fireplace.
“I thought that was going to be the hardest thing I ever had to do; now I think it’s one of my fondest memories.”
Jason hands her a glass of wine and sits beside her. “They were all great, weren’t they?”
“Especially your parents, I had to tell them their granddaughter isn’t theirs, and they were only worried about us.”
“It’s like my mom said Lindsay, ‘It doesn’t change Simona one bit.”
“But it had to be a shock after all these years. They were all so understanding; even my father hugged and kissed me. He hasn’t done that since our wedding.”
“Honey, everyone loves Simona to death and this news doesn’t change her at all. We’re all just concerned about you because you were so sure I fathered her.”
“I’m confused. I was so certain and now I know I was wrong. It’s made me question my beliefs. If I could delude myself like that once, then what else am I fooling myself about?”
The doorbell chimes over and over. It’s Simona’s signature ring.
They open the door and Simona bounds into the room with a handful of colorful balloons and pennants. Paul enters behind her carrying a sleeping Paul Jr., as Simone follows them in.
“Mommy daddy the circus was great!”
“Really honey, what did you see?” Lindsay asks.
“Mommy daddy they had a gorilla and he was so big and they had clowns and they had acrobats and a man who eats fire and elephants and bears like Boomer.”
Lindsay takes away the pennants and balloons and gives Simona a hug.
“Wow, that sounds like a lot. Honey, did you thank your aunt and uncle for taking you?”
Simona looks stricken, she’d forgotten. She runs over to Paul and Simone and takes turns hugging them.
“Thank you Aunt Simone, I love you, thanks Uncle Paul I love you too.”
“We love you too sweetheart.” The couple says in unison.
“Simona honey, it’s late. Daddy’s going to get you ready for bed.”
Simona yawns, afterward, she rubs her eyes with one little fist. “But daddy I still have to feed and walk Sunshine.”
“It’s all right honey, I did that earlier, Sunshine’s fine.”
Simona grins. “Thanks daddy,” She then puts both arms in the air, meaning pick me up. Jason reaches down and picks up his precious daughter and Simona gives him a hug and a kiss.
“I love you daddy.”
Jason smiles, “And daddy loves you too baby, so very much.”
Simona lets out another yawn and lays her head on Jason’s shoulder.
Lindsay goes over and gives her a kiss. “Goodnight angel, mommy loves you.”
Simona smiles at her mother, while fighting to keep her eyes open. “I love you too mommy.”
As Jason carries her upstairs, Simona, with her head still resting on her daddy’s shoulder, waves sleepily to everyone.
Lindsay goes to the sofa and sits next to Simone.
“How did things go tonight?” Simone asks.
“Unbelievably great, my in-laws are the best, finding out that Simona isn’t Jason’s seemed like the worst thing in the world to me, now I’m realizing it just doesn’t matter. Simona is Jason’s, in any and all ways that could ever count, biology be damned.”
“I know it’s never been important to Jason, he’ll love her no matter what.” Paul says.
“You know, we’re trying to get pregnant, we’re hoping for a boy now.”
“That’s great honey, Simona’s a lucky girl and any other children you two have will be as loved as she is.” Simone says.
Lindsay looks over at Paul Jr. sleeping on his father’s shoulder. “What about you two?”
“We want more someday, after I earn my doctorate. We love being parents; it’s so, so…”
“Meaningful,” Lindsay says, finishing Simone’s thought.
“Yes, it’s meaningful. I mean, we’re molding human beings, it’s almost like you’re determining
the future to a small extent.”
Lindsay nods her head in agreement. “I know. That’s why I now say, biology be damned, love is love.”
“I’m so glad you’re coming to terms with the shock you had.” Simone says.
“I’m just realizing how blessed I am. I was raped and it was horrible, but from it came Simona. Someone beautiful and precious from something ugly and valueless, it’s a miracle.”
Jason comes back downstairs.
“Well, Simona’s asleep; she was so tired she almost dozed off during her bath. Thank you guys so much for taking her to the circus.”
“Our pleasure Little Brother,” Paul says. “We love spending time with our niece.”
“She loves her aunt and uncle and we love you guys also, you’ve been great friends through all this turmoil, thank you.”
Jason shakes Paul’s hand and gives Simone a kiss on the cheek. Lindsay goes to Paul and gives him a half-hug around Paul Jr.’s sleeping body.
Simone stands and she and Lindsay embrace, saying I love you to each other, when they let go they’re both wiping away tears.
Paul rises. “I hate to break up this love-fest, but I think this little tiger needs to go to bed too.” He kisses his sleeping son on the forehead and then heads toward the door.
Sunshine comes bounding out of the kitchen, while happily wagging his tail, his nails clacking on the polished flagstone of the entryway floor.
Lindsay bends over and pets him.
“Hello Sunshine, I see you woke up from your nap.”
“We’ve decided to get Paul Jr. a puppy too.” Simone says.
“I can recommend black Labradors.” Jason says. “Sunshine’s been a great dog.”
Paul waves as he and Simone depart. “Goodnight guys, I’m glad everything went well.”
Lindsay takes Jason’s hand, as they walk back to the sofa. “We are so lucky to know them.”
“Paul’s always been there for me and Simone’s as great as he is.”
“I want to apologize for being so down since the test results came back. You are and always will be Simona’s only father, everything else is meaningless.”
“You don’t have to apologize, honey; it was a hell of a shock for you.”
They settle on the sofa and Lindsay stares into Jason’s eyes.
“I know you love her, but she is Derek’s, if, if the day ever arrives when that becomes too much for you to take, I’ll understand.”
Jason looks at her steadily. “When do you think that day will come?”
Lindsay smiles, “Never.”
“Damn straight.”
27
The following afternoon, Derek is flooded by memories as he walks through the Ocean Beach Hotel’s lobby. 61, 305, 184, 672, 1159, Women, their numbers etched forever in his mind.
As he walks past or spies from afar a former lover, his mind recites their place in succession. It’s like this now wherever he goes, a mind filled with the numbers of previous conquests.
Derek goes into the backroom of the crowded Beach Island Bar and motions for Harry to follow. Harry looks with pleading eyes to be allowed to stay at the bar.
NOW, Derek mouths and Harry scurries along.
“Jesus, Derek you couldn’t have come at a worse time, Diego’s gonna get my tips. I hate that guy; he’s been stealin’ away my bookie business.”
“Spare me the office politics Harry. I have a little project you can help me with, are you interested?”
“What, like that time I went click click with the camera?”
“No, this would be something quite different, but more profitable.”
Harry clambers up to sit on a beer keg. “More profitable? How much we talkin’ about?”
“You would get five thousand dollars for one hour’s work.”
“Five thousand dollars? Jesus, who do you want me to kill?”
Derek smiles at this. What a greedy little weasel, this is almost too easy.
“You won’t have to kill anyone; we’ll only be outwitting an insurance company.”
“Hell, insurance companies are nothin’ but leeches. I’m in, what do I have to do?”
Derek tells Harry the plan.
“Steal from your own mother? That’s pretty low, but, it’s just to get the insurance check, so okay I’m in. But what about that big guy, McGee?”
“McGee will be on vacation. Now remember, eight o’clock on July Fourth. Bring what I told you and use the footpath that runs through the woods, that’s it.”
“That’s it? But Derek—”
“Goodbye Harry.”
Derek leaves the bar and walks back through the bustling lobby. Moments later, he hears his name being called.
“Derek!”
He turns to see a beautiful woman walking out of one of the hotel’s shops; she has long brown hair and a dazzling smile.
She must be new; there’s no number.
“Derek, hi,”
“Well hello,” Derek says, and estimates her cup size to be 36D.
“You don’t remember me, do you?”
“No I don’t, and believe me, I would.”
“From high school? Kathy Rollins?”
“Rollins? As in Chief Rollins?”
“Yes, Bob’s my husband, oh, but back in high school I was Kathy Quinlan.”
“Oh, the fat girl,” Derek says.
“Yes, I was the fat girl and you wouldn’t even look at me back then.”
Derek takes Kathy by the arm and leads her toward the elevators.
“Derek, where are we going?”
Derek stops walking and grins at Kathy. “To have a look at you,”
The elevator arrives and the two of them get on.
Later, the two of them get off.
28
July 3rd,
With Jason out and Simona napping, Lindsay scrutinizes her latest galleys: uncut and unbound pages of her new novel.
She hears a car enter the driveway. To her surprise, Emily Stern has come to call.
Lindsay watches Emily walk carefully across the graveled driveway, perhaps a bit too carefully.
I see the rumors are true.
“Hello Emily.”
“Hello Lindsay, I thought I would extend an olive branch.”
“I’m glad honey. I miss you sometimes.”
The women settle in the living room, where Lindsay already has a carafe of coffee handy, she’d been sipping on it while working.
Emily declines coffee and then points to pictures of Simona, which sit atop the mantel.
“She’s a beautiful little girl.”
“Thank you.”
“She has Derek’s mouth.”
“Emily, if you want to renew our friendship you’re getting off on the wrong foot.”
“I meant nothing by it Lindsay, Derek is her father.”
Lindsay puts down her cup; she sits back on the sofa and folds her arms across her chest.
“Derek was my rapist, Jason is her father.”
The two women sit in silence, the only sound coming from the chiming of the grandfather clock that rests near the kitchen’s entrance. Lindsay waits, wondering what Emily really wants.
“Jason must be devastated, after finding out that Simona’s not his.”
“Simona is Jason’s, he’s her father, her only father.”
“I was quite surprised when Derek withdrew his petition for custody.”
“He came to his senses.”
Emily gives Lindsay a bitter look. “Derek has no sense when it comes to you.”
Lindsay frowns. “I don’t know what you mean by that, I don’t think I want to know.”
“Do you know the real reason Derek wanted custody of your daughter?”
With a hint of anger, Lindsay says. “Why don’t you tell me.”
“It’s simple, he still wants you.”
“You’re insane. Derek hates me; he was trying to torture me by taking Simona away.”
“That was Charlotte’s m
otivation, not Derek’s. If Derek had gotten even partial custody of Simona, you and he would be tied together forever. You would have to spend time with him to discuss visitation schedules, birthday parties, schooling, child support; the list goes on and on. Derek hates Jason with a passion, his passion for you however isn’t hate, it’s love.”
Lindsay rises, Emily smiles up at her, and taking the hint, she also stands.
“Emily, I don’t know where this is coming from, but understand this, I have no interest in Derek whatsoever.”
“I wonder about that sometimes. Derek is a rising politician who’ll someday be President and leader of the free world, Jason on the other hand, well, he paints pretty pictures.”
Lindsay marches toward the door. “It’s time you left.”
“I’ll go. I’ve seen Charlotte and I wouldn’t want to be your next victim. I suppose growing up in The Squares makes you violent. Just stay away from my husband.”
“Goodbye Emily.”
Emily leaves and Lindsay paces for a few moments, she then goes to a closet and takes out an old photo album. She smiles as she looks at pictures of Emily and her taken when they were children and teenagers, and yet, before long, Lindsay is wiping away tears.
“Damn it. Damn it all to hell.”
* * *
Jason is in the municipal building on Court Road, in Chief Rollins’ office, along with Paul and the Chief.
The building is virtually new and smells like it, the scent not unlike that of a new car. Jason looks around and notes that every piece of paper tacked on the bulletin board is straight and clean, as is the surface of Rollins’ desk. The pencils are sharpened and the wastebasket empty, the room radiates an air of neatness and control.
Jason considers the office a perfect reflection of the man. He then spots a tiny crack in the corner of a windowpane, and for a moment Jason wonders what “tiny crack” the Chief may possess. His contemplation is broken by Rollins speaking.
“Jason that mural would make Al Capone join the force; you’re a hell of an artist.”
“Thanks Bob, I enjoyed painting it too.”
Paul smiles, “I noticed that the little girl you painted looks exactly like Simona.”
“That’s because I wanted her as sweet and cute looking as possible.”