by J. A. Saare
Disco’s face hardened in anger. “You gave me your word you wouldn’t harm her.”
“And I’ve kept it.” Marius placed a hand on Disco’s shoulder, and I noted the way Disco tensed, his mouth forming a hard line. “That’s why you didn’t rush me when I took her to the floor.” Marius’s fingers began playing in the short strands of hair at Disco’s nape. “I knew you wanted to. I could feel how infuriated you were. But you stayed exactly where I placed you when you entered the room.”
Disco didn’t move when Marius took his touch further, sliding his hand from the back of Disco’s neck, to his throat and down to his chest, until his palm rested over Disco’s heart. “I’ve often wondered what it would be like to have you feel that way for me, to willingly place your life in danger despite the cost.”
“You know that isn’t going to happen.”
“Why is that? What’s stopping you from reaching out to me?”
“You already know the answers to both your questions. I can’t change who or what I am.”
Marius moved his hand, until he gripped Disco’s chin and forced him to lift his head, until their gazes met. Marius ran his fingers along Disco’s jaw and swiped his thumb back and forth across his cheek—a lover’s caress. I saw what I’d glimpsed in the foyer earlier, only now, at my particular vantage point, I could name it. Marius had been a cold fish when he dealt with me, but as he gazed down at the vampire he had created, I could see love etched across his face.
“You haven’t even tried.”
“I can’t make myself feel something I don’t.”
“You might be surprised how you’d feel if you’d give yourself to me. I’d make it special, Gabriel. Something you’d enjoy. You’d never regret spending a night in my bed.”
“I love her.” Disco maintained eye contact as he said it. “And you know I’m not interested in men. Even if I were, I wouldn’t go there. I’ve found the one person I need. I don’t want anyone else.”
“She doesn’t deserve your adoration.” There was hostility in Marius’s statement, as well as anguish. “You’re being a fool.”
“Perhaps, but it’s my decision. She’s mine. I’m not letting her go.”
Marius released Disco, and I moved from the pillar, afraid of being seen. This was something I didn’t want know about. Disco wasn’t bisexual. Judging by his reaction to Marius’s touch, the notion made him as uncomfortable as it made me.
I spun around, oblivious to my surroundings, and bumped directly into Paine. He wrapped an arm around my elbow and lifted a finger to his lips. I nodded, trying to move away from the office.
We walked from the area under the stairs, down the hallway, and to the door that led to an enormous garden at the back of the property. Paine waited until I was outside and closed it behind us. It wasn’t until I gasped that I realized I had been holding my breath, waiting until I was at a safe distance from Disco and Marius to breathe.
“Now you know,” Paine said. “Gabriel was aware you’d have to learn the truth sooner or later. Considering what transpired in front of the family, he’s relieved it was sooner.”
“He knows I was there?” I turned to face Paine, horrified. “He knows I heard everything? He knows I saw everything?”
His lips curved at the corners. “He knew you were there entire time. He was the one who sent me to get you.”
“I suppose telepathy goes a long way when you have a house to run.”
Paine stepped toward me, until we were chest to chest. He placed his hands on my arms, rubbing his thumbs lightly against my sweater. “Or when you want to protect someone you love.”
“Like Marius loves Disco?”
His thumbs went still. “Marius has always wanted more out of his relationship with Gabriel. That’s why he changed him. It’s not uncommon for sexual desires to shift when you become a vampire. Heterosexual men and women often find they are attracted to the same sex shortly after their conversion.”
“But not all of them?”
“No.” Paine resumed making lazy strokes against my arm. “Not all of us.”
“Disco said he was a close friend of the family. Was that a lie?”
“No, it wasn’t a lie. Marius was close with Gabriel’s family. It wasn’t until Gabriel reached maturity that Marius’s feelings started to change.”
“Did he come on to him then? When Disco was human?”
Paine dropped his hands, and I knew he wasn’t comfortable with the situation either. “Once.”
“Care to elaborate?” I folded my arms over my chest, attempting to mask the tremor that speared through me.
“I don’t know the details, aside from Gabriel said no and Marius left that same night. We didn’t see him again until Cold Harbor.”
“When he changed you?” He nodded and I asked, “What happened after that?”
“More sexual tension in a house than you can imagine. It’s the reason Marius left. He tried to influence Gabriel to explore his sexuality, but it didn’t work. When Marius realized Gabriel wouldn’t, he couldn’t take it anymore. It was easier to pass power to Gabriel and leave than to stay and yearn for something out of his reach.”
Fuck a duck. The person who could break me in half was in love with my former flame. No wonder he wanted me dead. Jealousy was a powerful motivator.
Paine moved into my personal space, wrapped his arms around me, and whispered, “Don’t fight me, Rhiannon. Marius is watching.”
Then he kissed me.
It was a good thing he warned me. Otherwise, I would have fought him.
At least, I think I would have.
Paine’s lips were plush and cool, feathering over mine, just before he opened his mouth and his tongued snaked out. I wasn’t sure how to respond. Fortunately, he didn’t seem to have the same problem. His tongue teased mine, inviting me to play. I followed his lead, kissing him back. The closeness between us brought back memories I wanted to forget, of a different time and place.
He pulled away, and the heat in his gaze made my toes curl. “I’d almost forgotten,” he murmured, licking his lower lip.
“Forgotten?” I asked breathlessly.
“What a woman tastes like.”
More memories arose. He’d said something similar in the future, something that swept aside my reservations. It was impossible not to ache for him—to love him—when I remembered how alone he truly was. That was the reason I didn’t move away from him, why I lifted my hands and placed one on his chest and the other against his face. He closed his eyes and exhaled in bliss, making me feel even worse.
“This isn’t fair to you.”
“Life isn’t fair.” He opened his eyes and looked at me. “We take what we’re given because there isn’t any alternative. Small moments like these can last an eternity.”
He moved away, taking a large step back. I was going to ask him why when I glanced at the door. Disco stood in the entranceway with Marius at his side. I couldn’t tell what he was thinking, since his maker undoubtedly had him on his best behavior. Still, I did notice the way his lips thinned and his jaw ticced as he regarded us.
“Marius and I are meeting with the leaders of the other families.” Disco took slow, deliberate steps in my direction. “I wanted to see you before we left.”
This time, Disco was the one invading my personal space, wrapping his arms so tightly around me I held my breath, bringing me toward his chest. One large hand cradled the back of my head, arching my neck so he had access to my lips. His kiss was harsher than Paine’s, more demanding. He didn’t ask for control, he took it, dominating my mouth with swirls and plunges of his tongue. Unable to do anything else, I let him do as he wanted. He lowered his hand and cupped my ass.
This kiss was different—one I ached for, one I dreamed about. Delicious and wild, sending me spiraling out of control. I latched onto his arms, holding him close, breathing him in as he ravaged my lips. The scent of cinnamon and cloves was like coming home, sweet yet earthy, everything I’d miss
ed. The world seemed to settle into place when I was in his arms, coming together as though we’d never been apart. I knew we had an audience, but I didn’t care, riding waves of untainted and pure emotion.
He didn’t lift his head as Paine had, but shifted a fraction of an inch so I could feel his breath on my face. He gazed into my eyes, the heat from one simple look powerful enough to make my knees weak.
“I’ll be back soon,” he said softly and leaned in, nipping my bottom lip playfully, making me shudder.
When he let me go, I stayed in exactly the same place, arms loose at my sides.
It wasn’t the words spoken aloud that had me gasping for air, or the kiss that had scattered my thoughts. It was the words he’d spoken in my mind that echoed over and over in my head, a warning if ever I’d heard one.
“You belong to me, Rhiannon. You belong to me.”
Chapter Five
I woke the next morning in Disco’s brand new bed, nestled in the down comforter that cradled my shoulders and arms. The plush material wrapped around me, soft and luxurious. I’d been stunned about him destroying the furniture I’d once known, but the unfamiliar and wonderfully lavish things settled my nerves. Yes, the space was shrouded in bad memories. However, the bed wasn’t the one I remembered. It was created for lovers, feminine with artsy details, masculine in size and shape.
Had he purchased the bed for a fresh start? His phone messages indicated he wanted to right his wrongs. Was this one of the many ways he thought he could reach me?
Pushing aside the questions, I peered around the room and sighed in relief.
I was alone.
Thank God.
Paine had been in the room—seated at Disco’s desk reading my tattered copy of Jane Eyre—when I drifted off. Certainly we should have used the opportunity to discuss what was going on, but the kiss we’d shared made me uncomfortable. It was the first time Paine had ever put a move on me. I had wanted to speak with Goose about what happened, but then I’d learned he’d departed with Disco and Marius. Feigning exhaustion was my only defense, my only way to get around talking to Paine. It was safer to blame fatigue and crawl into bed than discuss the kiss we had shared and precisely what it meant.
Although it wasn’t easy to fall asleep with him watching me, I’d managed, resorting to counting sheep when closing my eyes didn’t do the trick. Unfortunately I didn’t drift off immediately, because I knew at some point Paine and I had to talk.
Despite our friendship, there was strain between us, something that wouldn’t go away until we confronted the truth. I loved Disco. No matter what he’d done to me, I was partially at fault. The conversations I’d had with Paine about my relationship—or lack thereof—with his friend only skimmed the surface. If I wanted to be totally honest, I had to set boundaries and draw clear lines in the sand. When the issue with Marius was over, all of us—me, Disco, and Paine—had to accept things for what they were.
Fortunately, Paine was gone now, and we could save the discussion for later. I quickly slipped from the bed and got dressed. The horrors of my past continued to haunt my dreams, but they weren’t bad enough to rouse me and leave me shivering in a cold sweat. For that, I was grateful. I didn’t want Disco to know how hard our separation had been on me, even when it came to something as simple as sleep.
As much as I wanted a shower, I tossed on fresh clothing without having one. It was early, almost dawn if my inner clock was right, and I had plenty of time to swing by my apartment for a thorough cleansing later. There was too much to do, too much to decide. Marius was back in town and the clock was ticking. The faster I got away from the vampire who wanted me dead, the better.
To my dismay, I didn’t make it out the door in time. Disco walked in just as I retrieved my gym bag. He was dressed to impress in his dark trench coat, a dress shirt, and expensive slacks. The strain of the evening showed on his face, however. A crease marred his forehead, and his beautiful, ocean blue eyes were darker than usual.
I didn’t think it was possible to for him to look bad, but when he saw me more lines appeared, creasing the area around his mouth and eyes. “You’re leaving?”
“I’ve got Judo this morning.” I cleared my throat and shifted the gym bag in my hands. “I wanted to run a few errands before class.”
“It’s five in the morning.” He started walking toward me and stopped when I took a step back. Despite our earlier kiss, it was an instinctive reaction. Weeks might have passed, but I clearly remembered what he’d done to me on a bed a mere yard or so away. The ghosts of my past were alive and aware.
He frowned, angry at my response and himself, I was certain. “Can’t you stay for a while? We need to talk.”
Pulling the duffel into my chest, I shook my head. “Thanks to your new houseguest, I’ve got a lot of shit to do.”
“Your class doesn’t start until ten.” He regarded me from behind narrowed eyes and thick, dark lashes. “You can spare me a few minutes.”
“How do you know when my class starts?” I’d only attended a few classes—starting a week ago—after the owner of Mike’s gym opened a dojo to teach women to defend themselves. It was a good place for starters and an even better place for someone like me who could use all the physical training she could get.
His shoulders contorted as he slid out of his coat and threw it across the desk. I tried not to notice the movement, or how his muscles lengthened and stretched beneath his shirt. I knew how hard those muscles would be, how firm they would feel under my hands. His skin would be cool, but it added to the allure. I’d touch him and he’d close his eyes and sigh, waiting for me to do more, until my teasing became too much and he took control...
Damn it to hell. I was screwed. I might remember being burned by the fire, but the flames continued to tempt me to touch.
“Do you honestly think that I haven’t kept an eye on you? Did you think for one minute that I’d allow you out of my sight after what I’d done?”
“You’ve been spying on me?” I lowered the bag, sparks of desire turning to outrage. Yes, I had an idea he had members of the vampire family watching over me. Learning that he was actually involved, however, stoked my temper.
“I’ve been watching over you.”
“Where I’m from, it’s the same thing. Stalking isn’t cool unless you’re an Edward.”
“Call it what you want.” He undid the button at his throat and followed it up with another, revealing a flash of chest. A sexy as hell chest covered in muscle and strong lines. “No matter how you feel about me, I will always keep you safe. I won’t allow you to be punished for the mistakes I’ve made.”
“After what happened yesterday, you could have fooled me.”
He started unbuttoning his cuffs. “I didn’t come to your defense downstairs because Marius was testing you. If I’d have done anything, he would have known you couldn’t be trusted. Believe me, I wanted to tear out his throat.”
“You don’t get it, do you?” I dropped the bag to the floor, planting my feet shoulders width apart. “I’m still in danger, you diptwat. If I don’t give him the knife, he’ll kill me.”
His arched brow made me furious. “Then give him the knife, love. Once you do, this will become a distant memory. You can keep telling me to go to hell, and I can keep waiting for you to give me another chance.”
“Don’t,” I snapped and he met my gaze. “Don’t even.”
“Don’t even what?”
“Try to win me over with an endearment and tell me I don’t have any options.”
“I tried to tell you that you didn’t have any options. You chose not to listen.”
“I can’t give him what he wants. What part of that don’t you understand?”
Disco sighed and ran his fingers through his blond locks, sending the strands scattering around his temples. “I wish I could make you happy. After everything I’ve done, I’d give you the world if it was in my power to do so. But you have to give him what he wants.” He lowered his arm.
The way he looked at me caused me to take another step back. He was serious, angry, and focused entirely on me.
“And if I don’t?”
My back was pressed against the wall before I could blink, and Disco’s body went flush against me. A jolt of electricity traveled the length of my spine, sparked by his nearness. There wasn’t a soft inch on him, every solid muscle that held me in place firm and defined. He had his hands on either side of my head, giving the illusion I was enclosed. I wanted to hate the way my body reacted to his nearness. My heart rate increased, it was hard to breathe, and I felt a warm flood between my legs.
Love and hate. Revulsion and attraction.
No wonder my life is so fucked up.
“You’ll give him what he wants. I won’t allow you to do anything else. I’ll protect you even if you hate me for it. Your safety means more to me than anything else. Marius isn’t the scary one, Rhiannon. Haven’t you figured it out? He’s trying to protect you from his maker. If you fear him, you’ll do as you’re told. If you don’t, Revenald will come. Marius knows I’ll try to defend you. He knows the lengths I’ll go to keep you at my side, even if it kills me.” He wrapped his fingers into my hair and tugged, forcing me to look at him. “Do you understand now, love? Am I finally getting through to you?”
“Let go.” Even when I said it, I hoped he wouldn’t listen, that he’d stay right where he was. My mind was a haze of confusion. I wanted to pull him close but push him away, to kiss him hard but slap him across the face.
“No, I don’t think so. I no longer carry your scent. That’s unacceptable.” He lowered his head, nuzzled my chin, and brought his lips to the unmarked side of my neck. I wasn’t sure what he was up to until he did something he’d only done once in our entire relationship.
He bit me.
God, it hurt. A horrible crunch echoed in my ears, informing me the muscle and tissue had been torn through. When his fangs hit my vein, scored it, and got a steady flow of blood, he pulled his teeth from my skin. It was the strangest sensation: sexy in a perverse way despite being agonizing. Hard sucks followed the puncturing of my neck, deep draws on my flesh that ached but no longer burned with a fiery passion.