"Well, obviously someone was impressed last night." Amanda laughed softly. "At least he's thoughtful."
"Maybe he doesn't regret last night." Jessie gave a watery smile, feeling as if a weight had been lifted. She knew there was no reason to have felt like he'd been disappointed last night, but her mind had trouble accepting anyone could want her.
"Why would you think he'd regret it? I swear, sometimes I wish I could step inside that mind of yours and show you what an incredible woman you are." Anger filled her gaze, and Amanda added, "It was just sex. You did nothing wrong."
There was no way she could make Amanda understand. They thought differently. "I just wanted the first time to be with the man I planned on spending my life with."
"I swear sometimes you think out of this century." Amanda smiled sadly. "Just be happy you were with a man who obviously pleased you."
Arguing was pointless. Nodding, Jessie retrieved a vase from the kitchen, and then arranged the flowers meticulously.
Amanda changed tactics. "Let's get out of here and go shopping and stop by the hair salon."
Jessie wasn't big on the shopping idea, but she could definitely use a trim, she decided. "Okay, you're on, but I want ice cream when we're done." Feeling her spirits lift at that thought, she smiled.
The ice cream was a post-shopping tradition and Amanda grinned back. "Only if it's a double scoop of chocolate peanut butter."
Making a gagging sound, Jessie laughed again. "Personally, I don't know how you can mix chocolate and peanut butter."
They made their way down to Amanda's car and enjoyed small talk until they arrived at the mall. Jessie had convinced Amanda years ago to change from her expensive boutique to this place, since the stylist was so impressive.
By the time they left the salon and finished their shopping, all the earlier depression Jessie had felt was gone. The book club was meeting tonight, and thanks to Amanda, she had an outfit that would probably even impress some of the women there. The women all dressed in designer clothing, and that just wasn't in her conservative budget. Amanda dropped her off at her apartment, and told her they were meeting at Carolyn's house tonight.
Chase called her later in the afternoon to let her know his father was in ICU. She asked if he wanted some company but he kindly refused, saying he needed a little time to accept things, but he did say he appreciated the offer. They talked for almost half an hour before he informed her they were letting visitors back in and he'd call her again later. She felt much better after their conversation, even though she wasn't completely convinced the previous night hadn't been a mistake.
She made the conscious decision to not let any of that affect her mood tonight. She'd even managed to read the book this time.
CHAPTER TEN
Book Club Rule
She dressed with care in the new black sheath Amanda had helped her pick out, and the three inch heels made her feel a little more feminine. She'd even put on makeup and jewelry. When she arrived at Carolyn's house, she felt more confident than she ever had at one of these meetings.
Carolyn greeted her at the door and gave her a warm smile. "You look lovely," she said, allowing her gaze to move over Jessie.
"Thank you Carolyn. Amanda and I had a little shopping trip today." She managed to keep eye contact, something that was normally hard for her. "So how was your day?" Normally she just answered questions without adding much to a conversation.
Raising an eyebrow, Carolyn smiled warmly. "Well, I spent most of the day at Chase's club trying to familiarize myself with everything."
"Are you going to be helping him out now?" She and Chase hadn't really talked about his father last night, she remembered with a flush to her cheeks.
"Actually, I'm going to be running Sensation's, at least temporarily since Chase is taking over his father's company." Shaking her head, she sighed. "I'm not sure it's really what Chase wants, but I guess he feels like he has to make things easier on his father."
"Is he okay with that? I mean, I thought he enjoyed working at the club?" She was concerned he’d acted hastily.
Carolyn studied her intently. "I'm sure it's not easy for him. I know it's probably none of my business, but you seem really interested in Chase's feelings.”
Feeling her face warm, Jessie nibbled her nip. "We um, went out the other night."
Her eyes widened. "I admit I'm somewhat shocked. I thought you'd been pretty turned off by everything that happened at Sensation's?"
Jessie’s lowered her gaze and whispered. "I never said I was interested in all of that." Even as she said the words, a guilty feeling overcame her knowing she was in fact, interested.
"If Chase asked you out and you went, then I know you are." Smiling at her expression, she motioned to the living room. "Stay after the group leaves. I'd love to talk with you more."
Carolyn didn't give her time to accept or decline the offer. Walking after her into the living room, Jessie sat in her usual spot. The discussion began and for the first time since joining the book club, she felt like she had something to offer. When Carolyn asked if she thought it was possible for a dominant to be a great friend, Jessie actually gave her thoughts. "I would think a dominant would be just like any other man, and it would depend on his personality.”
It was awkward when more than a few of the women looked at her with their mouths almost agape because she actually spoke. She forced a smile instead of glancing at her lap, and noticed several smiles returning to her. And a fifteen-minute conversation resulted from her comment!
After the meeting, she was shocked that a few of the women came up to talk with her, and she was even more surprised to find herself enjoying the conversation. Amanda had bailed out early, claiming she had a date with her lawyer, so after the rest of the women departed, she didn't have an excuse not to stay and talk with their host. Carolyn didn't waste any time questioning her.
"Something's different about you, Jessie." Handing her a glass of the wine, they sat down on the couch.
Taking a sip of the smooth liquid, she smiled. "This is really delicious." Not knowing exactly how to respond to her statement, she just shrugged.
"Are you and Chase playing together?" Carolyn watched her expression intently.
Jessie almost choked on her wine at the blunt question. She wondered how she should answer, then decided maybe the truth would be the best way to go. "Not really." That was true. She wasn't playing with him in the way Carolyn meant. Unless Chase tying her to the bed counted.
Taking a sip of her wine, Carolyn glanced over the glass at Jessie. "How do you ‘not really’ play with someone? I mean, it really is a you are or you're not situation."
A thought entered Jessie’s mind. "You and Chase don't play together, do you?" Now that she'd asked the question, it really did make sense. They obviously shared the same interest, and why else would he trust her with his club?
Carolyn threw back her head back and laughed out loud. "That would never happen. I'm not a switch."
"A switch? I have no idea what a branch has to do with this."
Carolyn laughed even louder. "No, a switch is a person who enjoys being both dominant and submissive, depending on their mood. Let's just say I always like to call the shots."
Feeling her face redden, Jessie lowered her eyes in embarrassment. "Sorry. There are obviously a bunch of words in your world I haven't learned yet."
"Yet? So are you saying you are going to learn more, perhaps with Chase?"
"Seriously, I don't know at this point, Carolyn. I mean, I enjoyed staying with him last night, but as far as where it will lead, I just don't know." Realizing she'd just basically admitted sleeping with Chase, she wondered if she could be more of an idiot.
"You spent the entire night with him?" Carolyn’s eyes filled with shock.
Taking a quick gulp of her wine, she wished she'd controlled her mouth filter more. "I really don't want to talk about this." That was an understatement. She'd known Carolyn for a while now, but they weren't
exactly close enough to discuss this subject.
"I didn't mean to pry,” Carolyn said apologetically, “I'm just worried Chase hasn't been very upfront with you about how he views relationships. He’s a really nice man, but I'm not sure he's in a place to consider anyone else's needs at the moment."
That was a warning if she ever heard one, and Jessie stiffened. "I shouldn't have said anything." She already knew she'd revealed more than she should have.
Smiling encouragingly, Carolyn shook her head. "I think you're misunderstanding me. I don't want to see you get hurt. If things weren't so stressful with Chase at the moment, I'm sure he would have explained he doesn't do casual play."
Her brow wrinkled in confusion. Was the woman warning her off or telling her Chase would expect more? "I really don't understand."
"This isn't really my place, but normally Chase discusses every aspect of what he expects from a submissive before they move to the next step. From what I know of his past, women aren't invited to sleep over. His father's illness has him in a place right now where he's not thinking clearly."
"So you're saying either Chase expects me to be his submissive or he just lost his mind by sleeping with me last night?" Both those scenarios confused her, and her eyes clouded in thought.
"Honestly, I don't know what I'm saying at the moment. I just don't want you to get hurt, that's all." Standing, Carolyn walked over to the bar to refresh her wine.
Jessie couldn't help asking the question that filled her thoughts. "Why doesn't he allow women to sleep over?" The man was beautiful. She doubted seriously it was from lack of offers.
"That's something you should really discuss with Chase when his head is clear." Walking back to join Jessie on the couch, she smiled secretively.
Jessie had no idea why the gleam suddenly came into Carolyn's eyes, but she did know she was more confused than ever about what had happened between her and Chase last night. "I probably should get going. I have some work I need to catch up on before morning." The truth was, she wasn't really sure what Carolyn’s intentions had been tonight and she was uncomfortable.
Nodding, Carolyn stood back up. "I'll see you out."
Walking to her car she wasn't sure what had just taken place. Carolyn seemed too curious about her relationship with Chase. Granted, she shouldn't have told her they'd been together. Driving back home she was frustrated.
CHAPTER ELEVEN
Falling Deeper
Jessie's phone was ringing as she walked in the door. With an exasperated huff, she answered. She really wanted some time to think about last night, and Carolyn's strange behavior. The interruption was annoying. But Chase's sensual voice wiped all thoughts and concerns from her mind. He sounded almost broken and the sound felt like a punch to her gut.
"I just wanted to call you back so I didn't break my word, Jessie. How was your book club meeting?"
"It was good. Are you okay, Chase? You sound, well, different…"
His voice broke as he answered. "My father passed away half an hour ago."
"Where are you, Chase? I'm coming now." She was determined he not go through this alone.
"Really, Jessie, you don't need to do that and I'm not good company at the moment. I just didn't want to make you think I'd forgotten you, so I called."
"Seriously, Chase, I want to be there for you. Just tell me where you are."
"Thank you, Jessie, but I really just need to be alone. I'll call you again tomorrow."
"Chase?" Hearing nothing but static, she knew he'd hung up on her. Thinking for a few minutes she decided on her next action.
Calling Carolyn, Jessie found out the name of the hospital Chase's father was in. Telling herself she was just making sure he wasn't in shock, she got back in her car and drove there, hoping he hadn't left. It was an impulsive move, and one she realized he might not appreciate. Deciding if he was there, he could tell her to leave after she felt assured he could drive home. She didn't allow her misgiving to change her mind.
Her heart ached when she finally saw him after getting directions from the front desk. He was sitting alone, his head buried in his arms as he wept. Jessie didn't care how inappropriate it was. She walked over and knelt before him, grabbing his hands. "Chase, I'm so very sorry. I know I can't stop the pain, but I'm here for you," she whispered soothingly while stroking his hands.
His tormented eyes met hers, and all thoughts of being the strong one evaporated at the tenderness in her actions. Wrapping his arms around her, he allowed the demeaning tears to continue. "I just thought I'd have more time with him." His voice was that of a broken man.
They remained there several moments, wrapped in each other's embrace. Jessie whispered nonsensical words attempting to soothe him, feeling his pain vibrate through her own soul. She doubted he would appreciate the stares of sympathy sent their way from other families. "Do you have any paperwork to fill out tonight?"
Shaking his head no, he tried to control himself. "There's nothing to do until tomorrow. I’ll need to handle arrangements then." He almost lost it again, and tensed. Jessie's arms around him was the only thing keeping him sane.
"Then we need to get you home. I have my car here." His weak nod was all the assurance she needed to lead him out of the building. Walking hand in hand back to her car, she couldn't imagine how hard it was on this strong man to realize he couldn't stop what had happened to his father. She'd felt the same way when her own mother died
Seeing this side of him made her feel even closer to him. He allowed her to drive, and she didn't attempt to speak during the trip back to his place.
Pulling up in his driveway, she was shocked as his hand gripped hers tightly when she turned off the ignition. Lifting her eyes to him, she was stunned at the emotions filling those deep blue depths. "What is it?" she whispered, sensing he needed to ask her something.
"You'll stay with me?" God, what was he? Six years old? He thought as the question left his lips. Bad things happened in life. Why couldn't he just suck it up and at least put on a strong front for her?
"Of course I will." She squeezed his hand back and smiled reassuringly.
Letting out a relieved breath, he let go of her hand and opened his car door. Walking around, he opened hers and pulled her into his arms, hugging her again. After enjoying the feel of her in his arms for a moment, he released her and they walked into the house.
Louise greeted them at the front door and wrapped her arms around Chase's neck, crying loudly. "I'm so sorry Chase. Your father was a great man and I just can't believe he's gone." Releasing him, she allowed them to walk through the door. "I'll go put on a pot of coffee." Sniffling through her tears, she walked away quickly.
They walked into the den and Jessie sat down, feeling uncomfortable. There wasn't anything she could say that was going to make this situation any easier on him. Losing someone you loved was never painless. Louise bringing coffee back took away the awkward silence.
"Louise, please sit down. You look like you're about to fall off your feet any minute," Jessie whispered compassionately. She had to assume this loss hurt her as well since Chase's father had been her employer for many years.
Louise served them coffee, and then sat down with them as they sipped it. Jess put her hand on Chase's upper thigh and squeezed lightly. "I'm sorry, Chase, I didn't know your father, but I'm sure he was a really wonderful man." She wished she knew how to comfort him.
"He would have loved you, Jessie." He gave her a sad smile, knowing she was the type of woman his father always hoped he'd settle down with.
"Yes, he would have," Louise agreed, smiling through her tears.
Louise insisted after coffee that Chase try and get some rest, and Jessie and he walked up to his room. She wasn't sure what he needed from her at that moment, and watched as he undressed and climbed into bed, feeling out of her element.
"Would you just lie with me, Jessie," he said, wanting the comfort of her arms around him. He probably should have encouraged her to go home, but th
e thought of not having her here made him feel almost bereft.
Kicking off her shoes, she climbed into the bed, still clothed in her black dress. Sleeping in the outfit was probably not the best idea, but she needed to focus on him and not some stupid dress.
Pulling her into his arms as she joined him, he held her tightly. It was a strange feeling to want to lean on someone else, but oddly enough, at that moment, he didn't care. He doubted seriously he'd get any sleep tonight, but her comforting embrace soon lulled him into a strange lethargy.
The scent that was all Chase filled her pleasure. Long after his breathing leveled out, she stayed awake. When he turned on his back to sleep, she allowed her gaze to roam over his perfect physique. Wide shoulders melted into a tanned chest that was free from hair, lowering to washboard abs and his sex. She refused to let her eyes dwell on that organ of pleasure. His thighs were strong and powerful. Enjoying the view, she allowed her gaze to continue down to his muscled calves, and even his perfect feet.
Forcing her eyes back up to his beautiful, sleeping face, she wanted to trace the hard contours and memorize them so when he finally realized she wasn't good enough for him, she could dream of being here. He was pure male perfection, and her body ached in ways that overwhelmed her. Taking a deep breath, she decided sleep was the only way to escape the need.
Close to dawn, he awoke and glanced over at the beautiful woman beside him. He'd never brought a woman into his bedroom before her, and twice now she'd awakened with him. It was a feeling he was discovering he really enjoyed. Glancing over her fully clothed body, he shook his head, thinking how uncomfortable she must have been dressed this way all night while he slept like the dead.
He carefully rolled her over to her side and slid the long zipper down with ease. She moaned softly but he could tell by her breathing she was still asleep. He slid the garment from her shoulder, and then turned her over again just as gently. He worked the other shoulder strap off and managed to lower it. His mouth watered at the sight of her breasts covered by the lacy black bra that cupped her perfectly. He inched the dress down slowly. His hand moved tenderly under her hips, lifting them so he could slide it off and toss it aside.
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