Link
It was then I lost all self-control, watching her sit there and practically orgasming over my touch, biting her plump lips as I kneaded into her thigh. I could feel myself get harder and harder the farther I worked my way up, the heat from her center radiating as I worked her groin muscles. I had been fighting off my animal urges with all my might, wanting to pounce on her, but when she let out those little moans. I had come undone. Without so much as a second thought, I pulled her towards me, planting a kiss against her soft pillowy lips. They were just as silken and sensual as I remembered, the taste of her lip balm leaving a hint of strawberry in my mouth.
At first, I heard her breath catch lightly, and unsure if I had done the wrong thing or not, I pulled a little. However, her lips did the talking and proved otherwise. She reeled me in, kissing me back with such a fiery passion it sent me into a frenzy, pulling her body onto to mine. She straddled my lap, the heat betwixt her legs growing hotter, longingly grinding into me. I slipped my tongue into her mouth again, met with a satisfied moan as our tongues lashed against each other. This was the moment I had been waiting for- so many years had passed and many a woman in my bed, but none had ever compared to her. My hands wandered all over her body, gripping into her ass as she grinded against me through our clothes. I wanted to rip her leggings wide open and let her ride me, pound her with such vigor I left her breathless. I wanted to hear all the little sounds she would make, ow she looked when she was about to tumble over the edge and then freefell over it.
I made my way to her breasts, lifting her shirt up to expose her cute little sports bra desperately trying to hold her assets in place. I knew it wasn’t supposed to be sexy, the way they were squished down and probably covered in sweat, . I pawed at her and she moaned, biting my lip softly and bucking against me.
As I went to unclip her bra, she coughed, which caught me a little off guard. I ignored it at first, my hands moving to slip off her shirt. It was then I noticed her weird breathing, her chest not heaving and falling as it should, a cold sweat under my hands across her back. I looked up, noticing more sweat pouring from her forehead. She was clammy and pale, her eyes seeming to dim more and more with each passing second. My heart felt like it was going to burst out of my chest and I quickly laid her down on the couch, clinical brain kicking into high gear. “Are you okay?” I asked, taking her wrist between my fingers, her pulse thundering beneath my grasp. “I just feel hot…and dizzy... I-” “Don’t move! I’ll be right back for you, okay?” I felt my heart beating in my throat. I saw thousands of cases a year of different ailments, but it was rarely someone I cared about, and even rarer for me to feel like this. Long ago I had resigned that I had to see the patients as just that- patients. Getting close a few times had been a detriment to my own mental state, so I had taken the approach of House. You deal with information, hardly with the actual person, so emotions never clouded your ability to do your job. But this wasn’t just someone off the street, this was Gwen, and I felt on the verge of tears as I flew up the stairs. It had been years since I had felt this emotional, and I could feel a panic wash over me. But there was no time for that right now, I needed to concentrate. Frantically, I started up the whirlpool tub, searching for the lavender bath salts I had set aside for my horrible bouts of insomnia. It wasn’t where I last left remembered leaving it and I felt frustration tugging at my brain, making it hard to think. I took a deep breath as I made my way through the bathroom cabinets, finally finding the bag of salts, breathing a sigh of relief as I shook some into the warm water and then rushed back downstairs. Gwen was still laying exactly as I had left her on the couch, her skin still sweat soaked and pale. I hiked her carefully over my shoulder and headed up the stairs, thundering up them as fast as my feet would carry me. As I made my way into the bathroom, I lightly setting her on the toilet seat. Her eyes were fogging over, her breathing weird and jagged. Whatever this was didn’t appear to be a seizure, but a fainting like episode, possibly from the head trauma she had sustained mixed with our follies tonight. I was trying so hard not to cry, feeling like a complete jackass for pushing when I knew she felt sick a lot, but the tears started falling down my cheeks like rain as I slipped her shirt off. I leaned her back and gently slipped off her leggings, deciding to leave her bra and panties on. Though we had been headed in that direction, I didn’t feel right seeing her exposed, not without her say so. There was a cup by the sink, and I filled it with some cold water and set it delicately on the tub side. I cradled her in my arms as if she was a porcelain doll, making sure to be very gentle, and slipped her feet first into the tub. Using my arm as an anchor, I handed her the glass of water, her faculties starting to reconnect as the water and the scent of lavender swirled around her. She took the glass shakily from my hand and I helped her take a sip. I could see her body slowly normalize, her once pale cheeks now almost a beet red. “I am so sorry, Link.” She teared up, her expression an intense mix of embarrassment and confusion.
“No, no! Don’t say you’re sorry, Gwen. You can’t help getting sick, okay?” I smiled softly and she nodded, sniffling a bit as she took another sip of water. It was apparent she was super embarrassed, and my heart ached for her. I felt sort of responsible for this episode, pushing an innocent massage into some sexual escapade.
She already thought I was a complete douchebag… What was I thinking coming on to her like that? She hated me with such great gusto- though things had seemed to change over the past few weeks- we hadn’t talked over what happened much. She had softened quite a bit, not entirely, but things were a lot more like normal. A lot more like back then. The Gwen I knew and fell in love with all those years ago peeked through at me here and there, through our dumb banter and shared giggles, and I had enjoyed her company. But what the hell was I really expecting? Us to rekindle some sort of romance because I helped her get her dowry?
Sure, I had been watching over her since the accident, but how the hell was I to expect her to just fall for me all over again after what I had done? I could apologize a million times over, but could anything really make up for dropping an ex the day after they found out their dad was dying?
I had been such scum…
As she became fully lucid, I helped her out of the tub, still shaky from her episode. I grabbed the fuzziest towel from the stack in the cabinet and wrapped it around her, helping her dry off. She flashed me a weak smile, and I mimicked it, trying to at least set her at ease. I carried her princess style down the stairs, and she wrapped her arms around my neck, sending a chill across my skin as she cuddled against me. I made my way to her room and gently put her in her bed, damp underwear and all, and covered her up. For a moment, I went to open my mouth and suggest she take them off but thought better of it. After everything that happened, she seemed pretty exhausted, and I didn’t want her to take my intentions the wrong way. I stood there for a moment and checked her pulse again. Normal. She looked up at me and smiled, an expression I was quite happy to return, gently placing her hand down on the bed. She blinked slowly and closed her eyes.“If you need anything, just call for me, okay?” I whispered. She nodded weakly, eyes still closed, already fading out after the recent rough patch. As I left the room, I turned off the light by her bed, standing there momentarily and watching her sleep, checking her respirations as her chest lifted and fell beneath her comforter. As I left the room, I resigned that this- whatever it was- wasn’t about to last. I was kidding myself to think that her and I could ever be a thing again. It had nothing to do with her being sick, but with our pasts the way they were…I was crazy to think that things could ever go back to normal. Once Gwen got that dowry, she would be out of here, and I couldn’t say that I blamed her.
8
Gwen
As Meghan helped me stretch my leg to my chest at physical therapy, I couldn’t help but think about that kiss. Upon impact, it had sent electric pulses through my body and across my skin, dotting my arms with goosebumps and setting my heart ablaze. After everything Link
had put me through, how could I even kiss him like that?
I mean, it had been since Link since I had kissed anyone like that. I had strayed away from future relationships after him, forever afraid of getting to close and getting burned. Link hadn’t just broken up with me, he had abandoned me when I needed him the most. His words had lashed at me with his forked tongue, telling me how I wasn’t good enough, leaving unseen gaping wounds that hadn’t yet healed. They had crept their way into my psyche and prevented me from getting farther than a goodnight kiss on the few dates I went on…none of them leading to a second.
Even so, it had been a long time since I had given into any desires whatsoever, even personal rendezvous. Since the accident and my mother’s untimely death, I hadn’t even touched myself. I was disgusted by what I had become- useless- so useless in fact it led to the loss of my childhood home. Not only that but I was a constant medical experiment, a project rather than a woman with any sort of desires, scarred up and broken. I didn’t exactly feel very good about myself to begin with before the accident, and then the aftermath had ripped away what little self-esteem I had had. Frannie had suggested a few times that I try this self-esteem exercise her therapist had told her about, and though a simple enough task, it was like pulling teeth. What I was supposed to do was look in the mirror every morning and attempt to name off five things I liked about myself. When I did, it was never physical, always something like my sense of humor or my drive to get better. I had lost the love for my amber eyes. The beauty in my smile. The crinkle of my nose when I grinned. The dark freckles that contrasted my tan skin.
When my mother died, everything in my life turned to this boring and monotonous shade of gray. I almost felt guilty that I had lived. She had always been such an inspiring human being, and here I was, a nobody. No dreams, no career, just trying to make it day by day in my slowly, slowly healing body. I would probably never be the same, I already wasn’t, my legs were a glaring proof of that. The scars on them weaved a tale I myself couldn’t even speak.Despite all of that, I couldn’t help but find myself wondering what it would be like to give in to that desire for him. The sensations of the previous night rushed me. We had come so close, but embarrassingly stopped short, thanks to my stupid fainting spell.
Just my luck to finally get a little action with someone, only to mess it up somehow. But, how could I really allow Link back in like that after everything he had done? It seemed almost insane to go back to that, expecting a different result than the first time. It would only be a matter of time before her messed up, crippled body wouldn’t be up to snuff for him again. Yet even still, I wondered to myself if his cock would still feel as amazing as it did the first time. My mind barely able to focus on Meghan’s exercises, thinking over and over about his length bulging through his scrubs last night, pulsing against my leg. His hands all over my body, touching my breasts, touching my ass… it had been so heavenly…
“You okay, Gwen?” Meghan cocked an eyebrow, “Your face is red…should we stop?” “No! I am okay just warm!” I stammered, taking a deep breath before flashing her a big smile. I just needed to push this nonsense out of my head. No good would come out of fucking Link Gallagher, prestigious neurologist. “Eh, we only have five minutes left anyway,” She grinned, “Why don’t I let you off early?” She motioned towards the door and I hopped down, limping a bit. “Do you need your chair?”“I don’t know…” I sighed. My legs really did hurt but it was always so defeating to admit I needed it at the end. Meghan would tell me there was no shame in using the mobility aid, but it was easier to tell myself that than actually believe it.
I felt like if it were my mother in recovery, she would have been running hurdles on a track by now. I couldn’t help but think that I was slagging behind, and the previous night’s pass out event kicked that feeling home. I had an afternoon appointment, so I didn’t need a ride in and just slept in, avoiding any contact with him at breakfast. He had tried to knock at the door lightly, but I laid there and pretended I hadn’t heard it. I didn’t even know how I would face him that night, honestly. He had said it was fine, it wasn’t my fault, I was sick…but everyone always said that.
But not everyone almost did what we did last night.
Meghan brought my chair over and helped me into it, putting a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “It really is okay, Gwen. We worked really hard today! If you end up not needing it when you get home, fine. But for me? Just take it easy for a bit.” She beamed, helping to push me towards the front of the hospital. I was thankful for her easy-going nature, even though I didn’t want to admit it to her. She never treated me like a child, an invalid, but after that one incident that had re-introduced me to Link, she had been more prone to questioning my assertations that I was fine.
And she was right to. My arms and legs felt like jelly, burning and rubbery, and I was so tired. As we neared the front, I dreaded the bus ride to come, the jostling and bumps from all the potholes in our crappy town made me nauseous and in pain every time I used it. Frannie had thankfully given me a ride over, but she was busy, working the ER. And then, from out of nowhere, there he was. Link.
“Hey you!” He dorkily finger gunned at me and winked. I snorted, trying to stifle a laugh. Christ, was everything going to be uncomfortable between us? He was already acting artless, probably an attempt at making me feel less like a loser. I had really fucked up, even if it was of no fault of my own. I cursed my stupid body, its unpredictability was a nuisance, making me look like some sort of overstimulated fan girl of his. “Heeeey Link,” I let out in a weird groan. I sighed and rolled my eyes at myself, making his face curl up into an uncertain, apprehensive sort of expression. “Don’t worry it’s not you. I’m just tired…” I pinched the bridge of my nose and directed by eyes back at my lap, trying not to look directly at him. I could feel my face get hot, the thoughts of last night whizzing through my brain again at high speeds. In that moment, I would have loved nothing more than for Link to take me off somewhere and play doctor with me, his hair perfectly tamed into a swoop- and boy did I want to make it a mess. “Well,” He cleared his throat, “I am kind of glad I caught you before you left.”“O-oh?” I stuttered. Shit, not here. Not in front of Meghan. “Oh! Do you two know each other?” Meghan grinned, winking at me. Oh God.“We’re friends from high school!” Link answered back blithely.“Oh! That’s so cool! I didn’t realize you were from around here,” she giggled. Oh, gross. Was my physical therapist flirting with Link? So not only was I stuck in an awkward exchange with him, I was also stuck in between these two jerks giggling like idiots.
I crossed my arms and huffed a little, staring out the front door, hoping my bus would get here and I would conveniently be rolled into its path. Then I wouldn’t have to worry about any dowry or trust. I would either be dead or living it large on the insurance settlement that came from being hit by a literal bus.“Oh yeah, me and Gwen have known each other forever. We have been dating for a while!” My eyes widened as he said it. Did he really just- at his work!?
A strangled noise almost made it out of my mouth but I clamped down on it, feeling myself flush red. Not knowing exactly what to do but knowing I needed to act less like a shocked idiot, I looked back at Meghan and grinned anxiously.“No worries I won’t say anything!” She responded with yet another wink. “I had heard from my parents- word gets around at the country club.” She. Heard. From. Her. Parents.
For some reason I thought that our little secret was contained, locked away with just my silly grandparents. I hadn’t thought about them telling their friends. Or even that they HAD friends. No, my grandparents were a strange anomaly that just existed in a stressful bubble to me. I had forgotten to think of them as real people with real lives.
“T-thank you!” I stumbled, “I- I wouldn’t want Link to lose his job.”“Oh no way! He’s the best neuro resident we have!” She waved to us and trotted back towards the back. “What was that?!” I whispered frantically once she was gone. I knew I was staring at him wi
th wild eyes, but I felt like I was still in shock.“Her parents are the Vandermark’s.” His smiled faded a little, watching her skip off, his eyes glaring after her. “I figured she already knew. Word gets around in the higher circles- especially with your grandmother being known for being a blabbermouth.”“How exactly are you aware of that?” I eyed him suspiciously. I hadn’t even known who my grandmother was before the accident, let alone the level of her gossiping skills. “Well, they run in the same circles my parents do.“Aww shit,” I groaned, “So now they…”“Yeeeeeeep,” he chuckled. “They know.” His eyes seemed to crinkle up in amusement as he smiled at the thought, no doubt savoring how unhappy his parents would be at the revelation that we were ‘back together’.Then again… if they now knew that I was the progeny of someone who was high and mighty in their circle, maybe they were all aboard the Gwen-train.
Ew. I wasn’t sure which was worse.
“Jesus I am so sorry Link.” I frowned, feeling my face pull into a real humdinger of a grimace. I didn’t want to make waves with his family, even if I did hate all of them and they were the reason for our fallout. It was weird to be angry with someone and simultaneously not want them to suffer. Weeks ago, if you would have asked me about Link, I would have said I hoped he had found peace jumping off a tall pier. Now, my heart was confused, a storm of varying emotions and feelings I thought I had long buried.
He looked down at me, seeming to note the worry on my face and snorted. “I honestly give two fucks about what they think anymore, they’re assholes. It’s actually kind of satisfying in a way that they know, after everything that’s happened. It’s like the ultimate karmic slap to their faces.” I burst out laughing and he did too. “So, are you headed home?”“Yeah,” I grimaced, “Not really looking forward to being the talk of the town though. I was kinda hoping this all would stay between us.”
Pretend Boyfriend (Be My Boyfriend Book 4) Page 8