“Stop it!” My grandmother cried, “Just stop it! You’re going to push her away too just like our daughter! And now it’s too late!”
“I have no daughter,” He scowled at her, turning to me and checking his cufflinks before taking a seat. He had a satisfied look across his face as he began eating again, moving to pick up another piece of ham from the serving plate. Link’s hand moved fast, laying his hand over his and pulling the meat fork gently from his wrinkled hands.
“Mister DuBois?” Link stood up, holding on to me, “I’m going to have to ask you to leave our house.” Link’s eyes were full of rage. “You can stay, Missus DuBois, if you need or want to.”
“Oh really?” My grandfather stood up, bracing his hands against the table, meeting his fiery gaze with one of his own. “Do you really think that you are in a position to talk to me this way? Throw me out?” He scoffed, “I have made more money in my lifetime than you have made in your short time as a doctor. I have pull here in this town. Do you think I can’t just snap my fingers and have your reputation ruined?” Link snorted, putting his nose up at him as if he was a lowly worm.
“Do you really think that you can ruin me? The best neurologist in the whole hospital? The child of the Gallagher’s who are worth way more than you are?” Link slammed his fists on to the table and laughed in his face. “You know, old racists like you are why this world is going to hell in a hand basket. You can’t even let your hatred go long enough to get to know a lovely woman, your granddaughter, who came from amazing parents. They were my parents too, and you should do well to remember it.” He turned to my grandmothers; her eyes welled with tears. “I am so, so very sorry Missus DuBois. But Gwennie Is trying to heal, and none of this is healthy for her” She glared at my grandfather and nodded, picking up her purse, shaking her head in disappointment.
“No, it is I who should be sorry,” She sniffled, “Let’s go Alfred.”
“But we haven’t had dess-” He began to protest.
“Get the fuck in the car, Alfred.” She growled low, flashing Link and I a smile as she took his arm, pulling him out the door like he was a child throwing a tantrum at the supermarket. With them gone, I sunk back into my chair, the adrenaline running out of me and turning my legs back into putty. I could feel myself start to panic, the events that just occurred swirling through my mind like a tornado, destroying all my future plans.
“Are you okay?” Link sat down next to me, his eyes still on the door, half expecting my grandfather to come back in and yell I guessed.
“Yeah…” I put my head in my hands and cried, globs of tears flowing out of me like a waterfall. All this lead up, all this strategy, all these lies and deceit and for what? A huge blowout and no money. My frustration settled in my throat, making me feel choked. Link pulled me into him and held me tight, kissing the top of my head.
“It’s okay,” He whispered, “I have you, okay?” And for once in a very long time, I really believed that someone had my back. No one had ever come to bat for me like that, not even Link in the old days, even when he has valiantly argued for my honor to his parents. I sobbed into his chest, staining his white button up with my gray mascara tears. He kept kissing me gently on the head, and with every shaking sob he gripped me to him. I felt like I had lost everything. In just one argument, all my dreams, all the things we had been working towards- were gone. However, all that hate, all that contempt for Link for his past transgressions had dissipated, leaving me confused and torn. I felt a new feeling welling up in me, a feeling I hadn’t felt in such a long time. A feeling which almost frightened me. If I didn’t get the dowry or the stipend stopped, what the hell was I going to do now? And even if I did get it…would I want to leave? Could I…stay?
As I settled down, Link helped me back into my chair, wheeling me to my room and helping me into my bed.
“Listen, Gwennie I am so sorry…”
“It’s okay,” I sniffled, “You were amazing. The food was amazing, you did your best. You can’t help my grandfather is…”
“A piece of shit?” I grimaced, adjusting my position, my legs still screaming.
“Understatement of the fucking year…” He groaned, “I am sure your grandmother will still make sure you get the help you need. We can turn this around, okay? No worries.” Ah, so there it was. Business as usual. I nodded quietly and motioned towards my purse. He brought it to me and got out the pain pills for me, running to the kitchen to get me a glass of water. I chugged them and the water down and leaned back in the bed with a groan.
“Thanks.”
“No problem.” He said, ruffling my hair and kissing my forehead, leaving me in the darkness alone with all my thoughts.
12
Link
With the way things had been going I had come to one very, grave conclusion: I was mentally insane. In love with the woman who hated me, only using me to get her dowry money. I was as much a fool as I was crazy, standing at her physical therapy window again, watching as Meghan helped her do her stretches. Gwen was often tired after, but I couldn’t help but be aroused, enjoying the way the sweat trickled down her collar bone and into her cleavage as she worked. I wanted to be there myself, betwixt her breasts, caressing them and shoving my face in-between and breathing her in as if she were my whole world. As if nothing else mattered, time stood still, and we were the only ones in the universe.
I felt more horrible than usual about my urges lately, the dinner at the house had gone terribly, and she hadn’t heard from her grandparents since. I had tried to be a good friend, be encouraging, and she would smile at me and pretend that she was fine in true Gwen fashion. She was too proud to admit she was scared, though the worry in her eyes was prominent behind the mask she wore. Her future to her was so uncertain, and it was clear she felt defeated. She was trying a lot lately not to take up too much space or be loud- things that I really admired about Gwen, and made her…well, Gwen. She never cried about it all in front of me, but I had caught sobs and cries behind her door when I would come to her door to tell her of dinner.
Even with everything going on though, even with all the fear, she persevered- truly a tribute to the late Helena’s parenting. She had delved into even more physical therapy lately, against my recommendation. She was burying her emotions into it, convinced the harder she worked the faster she could get better. I had hoped Meghan would listen to me as well, but to no avail. She was convinced Gwen could handle another day on the rotation. I had to admire her resilience. The drive to achieve and succeed. To prove to herself she could be okay and could do it all on her own. It’s what kept her going at the moment, so after my first attempts I didn’t try again.
No matter how much these feelings overwhelmed and washed over me, I felt like I would never gain back her trust or care enough, the damage of my words that winter day screaming in my own ears even now. I was just someone she needed for the moment, and I owed it to her after everything I had put her through. Our repeated sexual escapades felt amazing, the chemistry was still there for sure, the fiery passion burning so hot you could light up a planet with it. However, sex was sex, and there were times I often felt I was taking advantage of her vulnerability. Gwen might have been a tough cookie, but she had been through a lot. Her self esteem was shattered from the damage to her body in the accident. Her emotional state fucked to hell by the death of not only her mother, but her father. She was a young woman, basically alone in this world, save for me and Frannie. I kept feeling myself wanting to pull away, to make amends but just be friends…but I couldn’t help myself. I was like an addict and Gwen my drug of choice.
As Meghan smiled beyond the glass and tried to help Gwen to her wheelchair, Gwen shook her head and grinned, assuring her that she would be fine without it. Meghan winked and her and lightly patted her shoulder, moving on to the next patient. Without much trouble, Gwen was walking, a small limp only to be seen. You could see the pride swell in her heart and make its way to her face with every step. I was a man on fir
e, watching her fist pump and carry on in celebration. She was the strongest woman I knew, and something about that had always turned me on, even now.
I opened the door swiftly, my loins on fire, wanting so badly for her to wrap those beautiful legs around me as I took her. The look of pride melted away as she saw me come towards her, replaced by surprise and confusion, paired with a gorgeous smile. The curl of her puffy lips made me want to grab her by the front of her shirt, throw her on the table right here, and make her scream for me. I was rapidly losing my mental faculties, drunk on the want- no the necessity- to feel her.
“Hey!” She beamed, wiping her face off with a white towel. “What are you doing here? It’s only two…” She raised an eyebrow at me, taking her towel and gently wicking away the sweat from her chest. It was then I grabbed her hand, much to her surprise, I could feel the beast in my pants awaken and push against my boxers.
“Come with me.” I smiled, weaving our fingers together.
“Aren’t you afraid someone will see you…” She trailed off, following close behind me, our hands still interlocked. I shook my head and kept going, unsure of where I would take her, but knowing I needed to have her. My eyes trailed the hall and landed on an old, abandoned janitors’ closet. I jiggled the handle, half expecting it to be locked but found my suspicions to be happily inaccurate. I looked back at her, her eyes once confused and suspicious now lighting up, but scanning the hallway warily. “Link…I…” I pulled her into me, like a lion snatching up its prey, using a foot to gently click the door shut and locking it.
As we stood there, she looked up at me innocently, worry still a blanket across her face. She went to speak, and I raised a finger to my lips, and she looked behind her back at the door.
“Link, aren’t you worried we will get caught?” She finally managed to get out. I shook my head quickly, pressing my lips to hers and picking her up, making my way to the back of the closet where a small desk sat. She let out a surprised but please gasp, my tongue making its way into her mouth, massaging my tongue vigorously with hers. She weaved her fingers through my golden locks, pulling a little as the kissing became more passionate. Desire burning for one another had taken over any sense we both had, her hands rubbing against me through my work scrubs, tugging at them.
I pushed her against the table, ravenously shoving my fingers down the front of her pants, her panties already saturated with pleasure. She bit my lip as I pushed into her underwear and plunged inside her, her legs trembling as they found her sweet spot. I could see the frustration on her face as she tried desperately not to moan, my fingers increasing in speed as her pussy soaked them. She bit her lip, letting a small cry escape from her lips, driving me wild. I pulled my fingers out of her and made my way to her pink pearl, using her liquids to help me circle and flick at it, her hands griping into the table as she tried not to scream. Her breath quickened, her eyes fluttering, overwhelmed by the sensation of my fingers working their magic. Unable to hold it in anymore, she came all over my fingers, leaving them saturated in the waves of her orgasm. As she shook and moaned, I covered her mouth with my hand, pulling the other one out of her pants and sucking and licking them clean of her. She pulled me in, sharing the taste, before the clicking of heels in the hallway brought me back to my senses.
What the hell was I doing? I could be fired for fucksake! I was a man unhinged, possessed, and full of a passion I had never felt before. Fuck the firing, I was still taking advantage of a broken woman, one I had already helped break long ago. I could feel my heart pounding in my chest as I pulled away and looked in her brown eyes, putting my hands to each side of her face and kissing her passionately one last time. It would be the last time, for any of this. It would have to be. I couldn’t live with myself, continuing to pull this with her. It didn’t matter how much I cared or loved her; we would never be more than we were now, not after everything. I was kidding myself to dream otherwise. I was a scumbag, knowing she was hurting and using that fact to lure her in. Ashamed of myself, I tossed her some toilet paper on the rack to clean up with and dashed into the hallway, leaving her there in the closet.
13
Gwen
I could feel the fury rise up in my throat as I heard the front door shut, his car revving up and turning around, speeding down the driveway. The clanking of the rocks trailing off until he disappeared. It had been two days since Link had fingered me until I had come, soaking my pants and fleeing into the halls without so much as a see you at home. He had been working late, and when they did pass in the hall or the kitchen, he was very cold. A quick high and bye at the very most, tears stinging my eyes with every strained interaction. I was such a fool, his hot and cold waves were reminiscent of our childhood, of our eventual demise. I couldn’t believe I had fallen for him again. Like Loki, he was always full of tricks, a charismatic smile across his elvish face. I was so stupid to have started feeling for him again, to let him in, to let him come inside me and take me in that way again. I had known for a long time, through the rage and hurt, that I had never ever gotten over us. He might have been helping me with this trust fund business, but it was no excuse for him to use me and toss me aside again. Once all this shit was over with, no matter what the outcome, I was out. I would figure it own on my own. I could just kick myself for letting some fairy tale romance type bullshit cloud my mind, invading and overriding my ability to think objectively. I was a victim of my own stupid, girlish need for a happy ever after that was never coming. Not for us…
It was then my phone rang. I rushed over to it, almost wishing it was Link, full of apologies and explanations. My heart jumped and sank at the same time when I saw it was my grandmother. My hands shaky, I dragged my finger across the screen and answered it, pulling the phone from the vanity up to my ear.
“H-Hello?” my voice cracked. I felt a tear gently roll down my cheek, wiping it away.
“Hello Gwennie!” My grandmother’s familiar but not-too-familiar voice brought my anxiety down a bit. I half expected it to be my angry, racist grandfather, continuing his tirade from last weeks dinner. “How’ve you been?” I thought about my current situation, still sniffling, and cleared my throat to try to push myself to a sunshiny disposition in spite of myself.
“Oh! Hello Grandma! I’ve been doing okay, taking on extra physical therapy sessions.” I fidgeted with my hands, wishing right then for an old-style phone so I could curl my fingers around its wire coils. “Been working hard at trying to get better and concentrating on that.”
“That’s great dear! I am proud of you!” My grandmother beamed, her Carebear attitude was infectious, a smile spread across my face. “Listen, do you have a few moments to chat, I have something important I want to discuss with you.” My heart flopped into my stomach, nausea and terror replacing the smile from only moments ago. This was it, I was on the chopping block, and it was judgement day.
“O-of course,” I stuttered, my trembling worsened in my hands. I pushed the speaker phone button and sat it down on the bed, laying down and waiting for her verdict. I expected an elegant bless your heart to come from over the line, a disownment. Link and I had dared stand up to my grandfather, and no matter how much my grandmother seemed to care about me, I was convinced the damage had already been done. In that moment, I wondered how Olivia was doing and if my old room in the roach hotel was still vacant. It had been the nicest room in the hotel, which wasn’t saying much, but it had been home. I couldn’t burden Link forever, no matter how much he was a dick and deserved it at this point. Imposing on Frannie and Parker seemed so wrong, especially after not seeing them much the past couple weeks as Link and I weaved our web of lies. Like hungry orb spiders, our tale was beautiful and convincing, giving our prey a false sense of security as we lulled them in. I was sure I had also hurt Frannie’s feelings in some way. She had insisted I stay there and I had repeatedly refused, but I jumped when Link proposed his plan. She hadn’t even called me to help with Parker lately…
“Well,” He
r happy tone had remained even, which left me confused. Usually when someone says ‘I need to talk to you’ it’s usually a negative. Maybe she was just a good actress from all those years of smiling and waving as a pageant Queen. Maybe she was just letting me down easy because she cared… “Your grandfather and I have talked it over, and…”
“Listen I am sorry about the other day, Grandma.” I blurted out, panic blooming and spilling from my mouth.
“Gwennie, it’s quite alright,” She sighed, “Your grandfather needs to learn that times have changed. This is a different world than we grew up in, and while I grew up poor and needing to scrape to get by, he grew up in a racist and snot nosed household.” I could hear a lighter go off in my ear as she lit a cigarette, the amber of its tip crackling. “I have overlooked his bullshit for many, many years. I acted like the good housewife, tried to keep him happy and teach him about the world but he is a stubborn bastard.” The clink of an ashtray sliding across a table filtered through as I waited, listening on bated breath. “I let his stupidity and bigotry ruin my family. It took our Helena away from us, led her on a separate path…and it is my biggest regret.” I was waiting for the shit talking on my father to begin, propping up on my elbow. “I should have spoke up then. I should have held her close and told him off but I was scared to go against my husband because in that time, you just didn’t.” I could hear her sniffling over the line and suddenly wanted so badly to be there. This all must be hard for her to talk to me about. It was probably the first time she had openly spoke about her feelings, save for maybe a screaming match with my grandfather. “I don’t want to lose you. I love you, just like I loved her. You are the only part of my Helena that remains.”
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