“Why here?”
“What I have done today is not because I’m trying to take your mind off of Luis. I am not jealous or threatened by the memories of your deceased husband. When Lori told me that today was the date of his death, I knew you would be in a bad place. I brought you here, Karina so that you can have time to get yourself together in a neutral space. I want you to bask in this weekend. They have a spa here; they will provide you with room service, and whatever else you need. Walk around the grounds and enjoy the beautiful gardens, or have a massage and facial right here in your room. They have horseback riding here, that will be therapeutic for you. And if you don’t know how to ride, they offer lessons. You have an all-inclusive package for this weekend; there will be no extra expense for anything you do. So just enjoy yourself, huh?”
“Why, Zy? Why are you doing this?”
“Because I want you to be whole. You need to get all the healing you can this weekend, Karina. Because I need you whole. Then maybe you can be free to open yourself to loving and accepting love.”
I broke down crying at his thoughtfulness, at the same time, overwhelmed by my grief.
He pulled me into his arms and held me tight, softly stroking my back. When I gathered my composure and looked into his eyes, he kissed me sweetly on the lips.
“I’m going to head back into town now. I’ve made a reservation for you through Sunday. I’ll pick you up Sunday morning at ten.”
“You’re leaving me?” I asked, my eyes opening wider in surprise.
“Yes, baby. This is something that you need to do on your own. Reminisce, enjoy, cry, and whatever else you need to do. But when you come back, I want you to return to me completely mine. Okay?” he asked, cradling my face in his hands.
“But...I didn’t bring clothes, Zymir.”
He lowered his head and kissed my lips.
“I know. That’s what all these bags are for. I purchased some new clothes, shoes, and underwear for you. Well, I had Lori to pick these things out I just paid for them.”
“When did you two have time together to shop?”
“We didn’t. I sent Lori the money, and she shopped.”
“You’re just too good to be true, Zy,” I whispered through my tears.
CHAPTER 29 – KARINA
Friday night after Zymir left, I stayed in bed for the rest of the evening. Tossing and turning trying to go to sleep, I finally got up when it seemed as if I wouldn’t get any.
I ordered room service, checked my social media accounts, and responded to some inquiries. Flipping through several channels, I found nothing I wanted to watch on TV.
I desperately wanted to call Lori and curse her out, but I decided not to. In the state of mind I was in, I was certain I would say something to hurt my sister. And I didn’t want to say anything that I would regret later.
When she and Rhonda decided to call me to check on me, I ignored their calls. There was no doubt in my mind that Rhonda knew about Zymir’s plan, too. Although her name never came up, I was certain Lori had run the idea by Rhonda. And I blamed her for not giving me the heads up.
After I finished my meal, I chose to cry myself to sleep. Throughout the night, I woke up and experienced several crying jags.
Saturday morning, I woke up, tired from my sleepless night. Yet, I decided I would not stay in bed another minute. Once I got up and showered and dressed, I went for a walk on the grounds. Vibrant chrysanthemums, rich salvias, brilliant camellias, and gorgeous turtleheads blossomed all around me.
The blossoms were fragrant and colorful. I sat on benches along the walk, enjoying the waterfalls and beautiful blooms. It was strange not being “on.” Leaving my phone in my room gave me a chance to be alone with my thoughts and at one with nature.
When I returned from my walk, I headed straight to the stables for an afternoon of riding lessons. My evening ended with a nice massage and facial, and dinner on the courtyard.
Zymir had been right. It was exactly what I needed. And while Friday night had been difficult as I immersed myself in sorrow and thoughts of Luis, it gave me a chance to pour it all out.
No regrets, no apologies.
It was just me and my memories and feelings. Throughout the night, I was plagued with guilt as I recalled every promise I made to Luis.
It was difficult to go on with my life and love again. Challenging not to stop cooking. Depressing to think of starting a new restaurant. Frustrating to travel alone.
Yet, I had promised him all those things. And I hadn’t done one. Well, not at first. Eventually, with the help of my sister, I had returned to cooking again, and much preferred it over having my restaurant. Not once had I traveled even when Rhonda had proposed the idea.
But I did realize I was on the verge of keeping another promise. My heart was opening to the possibility of going on with my life and loving again.
“You ready, babe?” Zymir asked, reaching down for my bags as I looked around the room once more.
Inhaling deeply and closing my eyes, I blew out a loud breath. When I opened them again, Zymir stood watching me with a hesitant smile on his lips.
“Yes, Zy. I’m ready, baby.”
“For everything?”
“For everything.”
“WHERE ARE WE GOING now?” I asked as Zymir turned off an exit too soon.
Smiling at me, he said, “I’m not telling you.”
“Zymir, I swear if you drop me off at one more place, I’m going to scream. I don’t want to be left alone again.”
“Who says that I was gonna leave you this time?”
I looked at him and then back at the road.
“I just wanted to make sure,” I said quietly.
He smirked at me and turned his attention to the radio, turning it up. The sound system in his 1969 Mustang Boss 429 was vastly different than that in his Jeep but no less powerful. The music enveloped us in a cloud.
Deborah Cox’s How Did You Get Here filled the car, and Zymir started singing.
“Boy, would you keep your eyes on the road?” I said, swatting at him every time he looked at me and belted out another chorus.
His voice wasn’t that bad, but he wouldn’t be recording an album either.
“Seriously, listen...” he said and continued singing.
“Just quit, Zy,” I complained.
“Look at me, Karina,” he said when I kept my back to him.
I was sitting sideways in my seat, staring out the window.
“Karina?” he repeated, pulling off to the side of the road into a gravel parking lot.
There were several other cars there and greenery as far as the eye could see.
“Where are we?”
“I’ll tell you when you turn around,” he said, taking my hand in his.
I dragged my hand from his and dropped my gaze into my lap.
“Karina,” he said softly, turning my face. “Why are you crying, sweetheart?” he asked, wiping my tears away.
“This song...I know it sounds corny, but this is the exact feeling I have about you, Zy. I committed myself to live a life of loneliness, just me, my cooking, and my sister and cousin. And then...here you come, knocking all my damn walls down. Pushing and pressing where you shouldn’t.”
The tears were coming fast and hard now, and I couldn’t speak. I had broken down into complete sobs, and Zymir was pulling me to him. Wrapping me in his arms across the console in an awkward embrace, he said, “It’s okay, babe. We don’t always get to choose who we fall in love with.”
“But, I’m so scared, Zy.”
“Why?”
“Because I love you, and to lose, you would hurt me.”
“We said we were worth the risk. Have you changed your mind about that?”
“No,” I cried.
“Then let me love you, baby. Just let me love you,” he said, leaning closer to me.
I opened my mouth and accepted the delicious kiss that Zymir wanted to give me. My heart filled with joy for the first tim
e in a long time as I resolved to release the fear and go with the feeling.
His hand reached underneath my blouse, gently rubbing the small of my back. My breath grew deeper as our tongues tangled with one another in a duel. Zymir’s other hand moved to the front of my shirt and slid under my bra. He pinched my nipple tightly between his fingers.
“Mmm,” I moaned, feeling my panties start to soak.
I briefly wondered if we were about to have roadside sex, taking the risk of public exposure. But I was game if Zymir wanted to.
Disappointment filled me when he pulled back and said, “Come on.”
“Are you serious, right now?”
“Very,” he said, hopping out of the car and quickly making his way to my side.
Once I stepped out of the car, he went to the trunk and removed two wicker baskets.
“What are these for?” I asked, taking the basket he offered me.
“The apples we’re about to pick.”
He then proceeded to place a large hat on my head with a net hanging over it.
“A hat, Zy? You’re about to mess up my hair!” I squealed, trying to duck him.
He grabbed my free hand and pulled me close to him. Kissing the side of my neck and making me giggle, he said, “You look gorgeous in whatever you wear. Feel that,” he said, grabbing my hand and pressing it against his cock.
“Zy!” I shrieked as another car pulled up.
“That’s how bad I want you. All the time.”
Spinning around, I glared at him. “Well, I couldn’t tell.”
“That’s because I had to make sure that you wanted all of me. The way I want all of you.”
He pressed his lips against mine, and I managed to sneak in words every few pecks or so.
“I...do...want...every...single...inch...of you. Ouch!” I squealed when he pinched my nipple.
“That’s for being a bad girl. Come on, let’s pick these apples. Because I’m looking forward to the apple pie, you’re going to bake for me.”
“Oh? I am?”
“Yes, as a way to say thank you for my thoughtfulness. Seems you needed that get-away this weekend,” he said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders.
“I so did, baby,” I said, turning my head to kiss the palm of his hand that hung leisurely over my shoulder.
After we paid the entrance fee, Zymir led us past the assembled group of apple pickers who were waiting for the tour.
“They’re giving instructions on apple-picking, Zy.”
“I don’t need instructions, babe.”
“Oh, really?” I asked, lifting a curious eyebrow at him as we walked through several rows of trees.
“Yes, I grew up picking apples. As much as you love to cook, I’m surprised you haven’t been.”
Shrugging, I said, “Never enough time.”
Zymir abruptly stopped. “You and I will always make time to enjoy life. Okay?” he asked, leaning in and kissing my lips.
This guy was so sweet. “Okay,” I mumbled foolishly.”
“The first lesson, you always want to pick those closest to the end of the branch because they’ve had the most sunlight, so they’re more ripe than others, like that one,” he said, pointing to an apple further on the branch.
“Pick closest to the sun. Easy enough,” I agreed, squinting up at the sun.
“Color is the most important determiner. You want to be picky; you can’t just grab any apple or every apple you see. We want the creamy ones, turning from green. The second lesson, you want to use two hands for picking. Because the apples grow in clusters, if you’re not careful, you’ll pick a neighboring apple that isn’t ripe. Like this,” he said, demonstrating picking with one hand.
I watched as two apples fell into the basket one after the other, with a thud. Then I watched as Zymir used two hands to remove an apple.
“Next, make sure that you’re picking them gently and putting them in the bucket lightly. If you’re not gentle with them, you’ll end up with bruised apples.”
“Can I?” I asked, stepping up beside him.
“Sure,” he replied with a devilish smile as he stepped behind me. I had no idea what Zymir was up to, but I turned my attention to picking the apple of my choice.
“Is this a good one?”
“Perfect, babe.”
“Zy? Are you paying attention?” I asked, turning to glance at him over my shoulder.
“Yes, close attention.”
“Not to my ass, Zy. To the apples.”
“I see two perfect apples, babe, ripe for picking.”
I laughed, shaking my head, and turned to the apples again. Just as I plucked the first one, I felt his hands squeeze my ass.
“Zy!” I screamed when his fingers slipped between my legs and swiped up and then back.
“What?” he asked, stepping back with his arms lifted in the air when I turned around.
“You almost made me bruise my apple.”
“No, babe, you had the perfect handle on them, just like I did,” he said, stepping up to kiss me.
“You’re going to have my hot, horny ass wet and laid out between these trees.”
“Just say the word, and I can accommodate you, babe.”
I laughed as two elderly couples turned the bend and came down our row.
“I’m not quite ready to give the old folks a heart attack today, Zy. Maybe on the ride home?” I suggested with a wink.
“Trust me; I’ll take you up on that one, Karina.”
I knew he meant business, and I had no problem complying.
CHAPTER 30 – KARINA
“He was my best friend. Not once did he raise his voice at me, and he was the reason I started the restaurant,” I said, rubbing my hand down his chest to his hard, tight abs.
“So, why don’t you start a new one? You’re financially capable now, and I can—”
“No,” I said. “I don’t think I’m ready for another restaurant. The responsibility, the stress, having to please people...uh-uh. No way. Now I teach others how to cook. It’s easier to teach people because I can demonstrate, but no one has to eat my cooking, and I don’t have to worry about someone being allergic to my ingredients. I don’t have to worry about code violations or food critics, or any of the shit that was so burdensome then.”
I sighed and closed my eyes tight before opening them again to find him watching me.
“All I have to do is cook. And that’s all I want, Zy. To cook.”
Leaning in, he kissed my lips. “Then that’s all you do, babe.”
He interlaced our fingers and pulled them up to his lips, kissing mine. Eyeing me over the fist our interwoven hands made, Zymir said, “You make me happy.”
“I do?”
“Yeah,” he said chuckling. “You make it sound as if the possibility of you being able to do that is far-fetched.”
“No. Not really. It’s just that I know I’ve given you a fair share of hell.”
“Yeah,” he agreed. “You have been very good at that. But mostly...you make me happy, Karina. I could be with you forever. Content to live my life with you,” he said, closing his eyes as his thick, long eyelashes rested on the swell of his cheeks.
I shifted, pulling away from him slightly.
“Karina, don’t do that,” he said, wrapping an arm around my waist.
“What?”
“Shut me out. Something just happened here. Between us and you’re battling with it.”
“Nothing happened.”
“Something’s on your mind, and you’re afraid to tell me.”
I stared at him in disbelief because how could he just be that damn good? I mean, seriously.
“I won’t judge you, Karina. You can trust me. You should know that by now.”
“This is new for me, you know?”
“I do.”
“So, sometimes, I just need you to be patient with me.”
“I’m willing to be. But I don’t need you to be scared to share anything with me. I won’t
leave you; I won’t judge you, and I damn sure won’t be angry with you. All you have to do is swish those hips from side to side or bat those big, gorgeous brown eyes at me, and I don’t recall why I was upset in the first place.”
I laughed. “You’re full of shit.”
“I know,” he said, laughing and kissing me on the tip of my nose. “Now tell me, please.”
Sighing, I decided I might as well get it over with.
“Zymir, about eight years ago, Luis and I decided we were ready to start a family. We were entering our fifth year of marriage, and we’d been traveling and had gotten my restaurant going, and we wanted more. Neither of us was getting any younger, so we knew the time was right. Anyway, we began to concentrate all of our efforts on becoming pregnant. It didn’t happen the first year, and we chalked it up to the stress of the restaurant and his job. Luis was an IT director, and they had just taken on a new software project at his company. The next year, we began to settle down a bit more, and the stress had decreased, so we tried again. Nothing. By our seventh year of marriage, we decided to get some help, so we went to see my gynecologist, who eventually referred us to a fertility specialist.”
For a moment, in my mind, I lapsed back to that time, recalling the tears I had shed, the frustration I felt, and Luis’ failed attempts to comfort me. If I had known that I would lose him three years later, I would have spent every moment loving him.
Zymir’s hand on my shoulder caused me to open my eyes and look at him again. I latched on to his gaze to keep me present and grounded.
“We spent so much money on getting treatments. When I finally got pregnant, we were both so happy. We began to redecorate one of the bedrooms in our home as a nursery, plan out names if it were a boy or girl.”
I laughed for a moment.
“Luis even began looking into private daycare for when our child turned three. We had agreed I would remain home with our baby the first two years of his or her life. But none of that mattered. Weeks after our joy, we were devastated. I woke up in the middle of the night in pain. I quietly climbed out of bed, not wanting to wake Luis because he’d been up late working on a project for the job. But when I got to the bathroom and noticed that I was bleeding, my cries woke him up. Luis rushed me to the hospital that night, and we found that it was an ectopic pregnancy.”
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