by Wendy Bayne
Samuel groaned. “Finally, we eat!” He practically raced to the side table and began heaping food onto his plate.
Aunt Mary touched him on the shoulder. “My dear boy, I do hope that you intend to leave something for the rest of us.” He had the good grace to blush, yet he continued helping himself from the steaming dishes. The rest of us joined him. However, as the meal and conversation progressed I noticed that Samuel didn’t attack the meal in front of him like anything near the starving man he claimed to be, in fact it seemed as if he had to force down every bite.
The meal was congenial and informal. Conversations included everyone, servant and master alike. Colin even made sure that I was included. At first, I was puzzled that he would ask my opinion about anything but when he noticed my perplexed expression, he explained, “Lissa, I want you to feel free to participate in our conversations. I want you to understand the world around you, to question things and never blindly accept something just because society or a man says you should.”
He looked at Aunt Mary who rolled her eyes, but he wiped his mouth with a napkin to hide his smile while I bit my lip to keep from laughing. She knew what we were doing and looking over her spectacles at him, “Humph, Colin Turner, I never said that she should not be well-educated nor become a dog to society’s dictates. I merely want her to know how the world works for most women, especially the place that’s been assigned to us by MEN!” Then she looked at me smiling, “But there are always ways around men, Clarissa, and I intend to teach you every one of them, just as I did your mother.”
Colin had the good grace to nod but Irene couldn’t hold back a smirk and chuckle. Eventually Dalton, our maids and Aunt Mary’s companion left to attend to their own needs and to prepare our rooms. The evening turned quiet as we helped ourselves to pudding and tea. Samuel appeared to have nodded off, but anyone could see that he wasn’t. Suddenly he tipped forward in his chair, pointing to Aunt Mary, “No niece of mine is going to marry for the sake of money or position! No inbred titled lout shall have her.” Slapping the table with his hands and almost losing his balance as he reached over the table to grab my hand, but he caught himself, saying very seriously, “You have my word, Lissa, that if you should ever become one of these boring society maidens or settle on some slug to wed, I shall spirit you away to the continent until you come to your senses.”
Everyone looked at him like he was insane, but my father laughed out loud saying, “On that note I think we should all retire.” He looked at my uncle whose eyes were closed, and his chin was resting on his chest. He reached over to remove the empty glass from his hand then kicked his foot under the table to awaken him, “Especially you, my friend. Up you get and off to bed.”
Samuel looked up with a silly smirk on his face, giggled, then rose staggering to the door. He turned and bowed. “If you will excuse me, ladies, it seems that the rigours of the journey have caught up with me, so with your permission I shall retire.” He fumbled with the latch to open the door then nodded to the footman standing outside, he turned left only to retrace his steps down the hallway in the direction of his room. I heard Dalton speak to him in the hall then a door closed and there was silence.
We looked at each other trying, to contain ourselves, but a series of chuckles eventually escaped us. Aunt Mary composed herself first and rose. “Well, Colin, now that you’ve arrived, what do you propose to do for sleeping arrangements?” Colin looked about. “I think we shall be very comfortable in here, Lady Alford.”
Aunt Mary looked around and spied the feather bed in the alcove. Then she looked at Irene and smirked. “I dare say you both shall be warm enough, but I hope that you have the good sense to get some rest. We will be leaving early in the morning.”
Colin and Irene both blushed and my father hid a chuckle with a cough, “Lady Alford, I’m sorry to say that I will not be accompanying you on your journey to London. Unfortunately, I have business in the area that cannot wait. But I shall meet you in London as soon as possible. Then we can put into action your plan to introduce my family to society.”
Irene moved over to the alcove pulling out the feather bed as she looked pointedly at Aunt Mary first then at me. Aunt Mary raised her eyebrows and stood, “Come, Clarissa, it would appear you will not be sharing a bed with your mother tonight.” She opened the door and motioned for me to go through. I couldn’t help but look over my shoulder at my mother who was already in my father’s arms. I wrinkled my nose and pursed my lips. Aunt Mary laughed. “Come, child, you will have to get used to that. Believe me when I say that they have no idea that we’re still here.” I walked out with her and the footman standing guard closed the door behind us then I heard the key turn in the lock.
Once we reached the door to our room I asked, “Should I fetch Meg and Louisa?”
“Not yet, Clarissa, I would like to speak with you first.” She looked back the way we had come at the footman. “Murphy, is it?” He nodded. “Would you please ask Meg and Louisa to attend us in a few minutes and tell Beth that she will not be needed for the rest of the night.” My mouth must have fallen open as we walked into our room. “Clarissa, my dear, close your mouth and come sit here beside me.” She sat down graciously on the settee in our room and I took the place beside her. “Since our room abuts the room your parents are now sharing I think it only advisable that you… Well, that—” She was blushing as she paused to collect herself then she let out a breath and, in a rush, said, “Oh, damn it to hell they would leave this to me!” I was shocked to hear my aunt use such language, but it made her seem more human and less formidable. She took my hand and patted it. “Well, child, tell me what do you know of physical love? And I don’t mean that stuff and nonsense in those novels that Irene lets you read.” She eyed me closely, but I was at a loss for words and more than embarrassed. “Come now, surely you must know something having been raised in the country. Do you have any notion of what coupling is at least in animals?” Now I could feel the heat rising up my neck and was sure that my face must be crimson. “Well?”
I sputtered not knowing what to say. I didn’t really want to think about what she was referring to in relation to my parents. Then suddenly the image of Rose Biggles and William Blaney down by the brook popped into my head. It had been three years ago this last summer. I had been daydreaming while sitting in the old Elm by the meadow near the Home Farm. Rose and William had come running through the field shedding their clothes. I was frozen to my branch in indecision but before I could make my presence known they were naked and wrestling in the grass, groaning something awful right under my tree. Yet neither one of them seemed to be in any distress nor did they see me though I was perched in the tree directly above them. Still I prayed that there was enough foliage to hide me from their eyes. I held very still and watched even though I didn’t want to, but I had little choice since I had stretched out on the branch. I couldn’t chance closing my eyes and losing my balance. Thankfully Rose had her eyes closed most of the time that William was on top of her swaying back and forth. Then after some time they both called out and lay still. They startled me so much that I almost cried out for fear that William had hurt Rose. But I was afraid to move an inch and was stiff from holding so still. In fact, I don’t think I could have climbed down and run for help if it was needed. Suddenly, William rolled off Rose. I closed my eyes quickly but not before I had seen their exposed private areas. There was no blood, and both were LAUGHING! I kept hoping they would leave yet they stayed there for what seemed like forever, laughing and kissing. Finally, they got up, washed in the nearby brook, dressed quickly and left, walking hand in hand down a path that led to the Biggles farm. I sat up and once the feeling returned to my hands and legs I climbed down and raced home. I went straight to my room where I crawled under my bed and hid until Meg came to dress me for my evening report. I never told a soul about what I had seen but it was even clearer now what Samuel had meant about Rose and William having the honeymoon before the wedding.
Aunt Ma
ry interrupted my thoughts as my eyes strayed to the wall of the adjoining room. “I can see from your face and that particular shade of red that I will not have to elaborate. Trust me, child, between two people who love each other there is no better experience, no matter how base and elemental it may seem.” She took some waxy cotton wadding out of her reticule and pulled two pieces off handing them to me. “Place a piece in each ear, Clarissa; it will deaden the noise from next door.”
Meg and Louisa appeared then as if on cue, assisting us to get ready for bed. Thankfully the day’s excitement and fresh air had taken its toll on me and as I drifted off to sleep I was only vaguely aware of the sounds coming from next door.
I awoke in the morning just as Meg and Beth were pulling back the curtains. Irene was in the room in her dressing gown talking quietly to our aunt. She looked beautiful with her hair down and all mussed as if she had just risen from bed. I stopped my thoughts there as I hopped out of bed. They both turned to look at me. Irene stood up, blushing, “I shall go dress now. And you, sleepy head, had better hurry, or your uncle will make you eat your breakfast in the carriage.”
The prospect of hot food made me move even faster. I wanted Meg to brush my hair and just tie it back with a ribbon, but she insisted on doing an elaborate plait to keep in under control in case I went riding.
My Aunt was waiting for me and before entering the parlour she informed me, “Since there will be no stopping you and your uncle from riding together, I have had the grooms unpack your side saddle. If you insist on riding, you will do so as a lady and not some savage.” She didn’t dampen my spirits if that’s what she had hoped for, I had learned to ride side saddle before astride anyway and I was determined that nothing would make me unhappy today.
The rest of our journey was uneventful, if tiring. Colin, I mean my father, did not rejoin our group. In fact, he had left sometime in the early morning hours. I was disappointed, but my mother said his work was very important and that he wanted to get this local business taken care of before joining us in London.
Samuel became more morose and authoritarian the closer we got to London. At one point, Aunt Mary refused to leave an Inn where we had stopped for luncheon until she had a private conversation with him. It started out with raised voices that suddenly went quiet and it remained that way for a full half hour. When they emerged, it was obvious that his mood had not improved but that Aunt Mary’s had.
I was not invited to ride with Samuel again after that day. Instead I was only allowed to canter along beside the carriage for half an hour each afternoon which neither Jewel nor I enjoyed. I was eventually tired of choking on dust, so after two days I relinquished Jewel to the groom Jacob for the remainder of our time on the road.
My mother was not unsympathetic being an avid horsewoman herself. Her mount Sheba had been left behind since she belonged to the General. I sat silently watching Jacob ride off through a field, letting Jewel have her head, when my mother leaned against my shoulder following my gaze. “Jewel most certainly seems to enjoy the open fields.” I only nodded so she continued, “Lissa, life in London will be very different for you and for Jewel. She must become a town horse if you intend to keep her. You won’t be able to gallop through Hyde Park anytime you please. In fact, you won’t be able to gallop in town at all. Perhaps when we go to Somerset, you should take Jewel with you, she can live there instead of in London. We can always get you another horse that’s been bred for the town and is used to a life in a mews. It’s up to you, darling, but perhaps you should discuss it with your father or Samuel. Though I wouldn’t approach your uncle, he seems to be out of sorts these days.” She reached out and patted my hand. “But it can wait, there’s no hurry to make a decision.”
We reached London in the dead of night. I saw nothing of the city as we approached except a smoky glow on the horizon. I had fallen asleep by the time we entered the city so when we reached our townhouse in Mayfair on the edge of Hyde Park, Samuel carried me inside. I listened to him cursing under his breath that I was getting fat so when I chuckled he called me ‘Brat’ and purposefully bumped my feet on the balustrade going up the stairs to my room. Once there he literally threw me on the bed then sat down beside me. “Okay, Lissa, I know that you aren’t really asleep. So, if you will excuse the lateness of the hour, I need to apologize for being such a bas…a beast these past few days. I can’t explain it, but I hope you’ll forgive me. I promise I’ll try to be a better uncle in the future.” He got up, swatted at my feet and before he left, saying, “I’ll see you in the morning.”
Meg came in a short while later with hot water and the case with my night things. She looked more exhausted than I was so once she had my buttons undone and the pins out of my hair, I sent her off to find her own bed. I was tired but not enough that I could ignore the state of my hair, so I sat down at a beautiful Adams dressing table and brushed it out. Once I was done I washed my face and cleaned my teeth then I looked around my room. It was decorated in what appeared by candlelight to be shades of creams and blues. There was a comfortable four post bed with a canopy and dark blue silk curtains that stood against the wall facing the windows. The door to the hallway was left of the bed and there was another door to the right. I opened this one and found a huge dressing room, far too large for my current needs yet the only doors into it led into my room or out into the hallway. Back in my room besides the dressing table, there was a writing desk under one of the large windows that faced the back of the house which would take advantage of the natural light during the day and by the second window there was a chaise lounge and three chairs were arranged near the hearth. Partially filled bookcases were placed on either side of the windows and I wondered what I would find there when I perused the titles later. The paintings on the walls were all pastoral scenes, serene and reminiscent of Northumberland. But I was too exhausted to bother looking at them more closely, so I crawled into bed and let the cool sheets envelope me.
Chapter 5
London: Revenge
“Morning, Miss Clarissa!” Meg had obviously slept well, she was buzzing around the room chatting away; thankfully, I was not required to respond. “Oh, miss, you should see the house! Mrs Wren the housekeeper she took us around this morning, it will be a pleasure to work here for sure. Mr Hughes requested that you join him for breakfast and said for you to get a move on and to come down dressed for riding.” She smirked as she ran to retrieve my new riding habit; this would be my first ride on Rotten Row!
Once I was ready I stood in front of the cheval glass. I looked at least eighteen dressed in the dark green riding habit, especially with my hair up under the little black hat. Meg stood behind me with her fists clasped together under her chin. “Miss, you look so growed up, I mean grown up. The family won’t recognize you when you join them.”
I smiled and thanked her then swept out the open door with my head held high and not paying attention to my feet, as a result I caught the toe of my new boots on the carpet and was just able to stop myself from falling. It was not the most auspicious beginning to my new life, especially when I heard Meg giggling as she closed the door to my room.
To assuage my bruised ego, I told myself I’d have that bit of carpet looked at later, but l gathered up what was left of my self-esteem and headed down the stairs. I had no idea where the breakfast room was, but I should have guessed that my Uncle Samuel would be waiting for me at the bottom of the stairs. He bowed from the waist and I curtseyed after stepping off the last riser, then he took my hand saying, “Miss Turner, you look lovely today.” He escorted me into a beautiful yellow room where the sun was streaming through the French doors that looked out onto a riotous English garden. It was a dazzling room with the light bouncing off the crystal and silver set on the dark mahogany table, yet it felt like home, a comfortable setting for a family to gather.
Irene was already seated sipping on tea with a decent breakfast in front of her. She smiled and put down her cup as I came in on Samuel’s arm, “Oh Lissa! Yo
u look beautiful.” But I was aware that she was studying my hat with concern, tipping her head from side to side, “I’m not sure about the hat though, it ages you so much.” I frowned, and she rushed to explain, “I only say that because I just realised how fast you’re growing up, my darling.”
I beamed at her, stooping to give her a hug and kiss on the cheek. “Thank you, Mother. I do understand what you mean, I feel like I’ve aged as well and it’s still a little overwhelming.”
Samuel grabbed a plate and was serving himself sparingly from the dishes on the sideboard. “Well, brat, you had better get a move on or we will be unfashionably late for your first ride. We can’t have you starting off on the wrong foot looking like a rustic cousin come to the city.” He sat down, grabbed his coffee cup and gulped down the scalding liquid in several gulps as if he was late for an appointment. I noticed though that his hand shook when he reached for his cup. I wondered if it was nerves or something else. He had become more withdrawn the closer we came to London though he insisted he was looking forward to being back in the city. Maybe it was just the after effects to much celebratory drink recently…yet I hadn’t seen him take anything except for one brandy since my father had left our company. I shrugged mentally and went to help myself to some eggs, toast and tea. When I sat across from him, he looked up and grimaced. “Come now, brat, we don’t have time for you to gobble all of that down!”
Using what I thought was a most haughty voice as I applied butter to my toast asking, “Uncle… Is it acceptable in polite circles for you to continually call me brat?”