“If you’re there it’s easier for him to wish her well.”
“Yeah. But I can’t go down there and smile and act happy. I hate her for what she did to my dad. To know she’s marrying Mr. Carter makes me sick. I’ll end up saying something and making a bad night worse.”
Tasha looked up at his profile. He stared unseeing at the television, his jaw clenched. “Jared, you need to talk to her and settle this. You can’t go through the rest of your life pretending as if everything is okay.”
He shook his head. “I don’t want to hear her lies.”
She reached over to lay her hand on his hand, which was clenched in a fist on his lap. “You still care about your mom, or you would have told Malcolm a long time ago what she did. You can’t love and hate someone at the same time.”
He scoffed. “Why not? I hate the fact that I still care when I know what she did.”
“Maybe it’s because you know what you saw, and yes it was messed up, but you also know your mother didn’t literally kill your father. You don’t have to be as close to your mom as Malcolm, but you need to clear the air.”
He was quiet as he continued to stare at the television. Tasha laid her head back on his shoulder and watched the game. He finally opened his hand and clasped hers. “Come to the party.”
She sat up slowly. She didn’t face him but could feel his gaze on her. She wanted to go. She wanted to be there for him during something she knew would be difficult. She wanted to hold his hand as he tried to be nonchalant but tension clenched his body. She wanted him to squeeze her hand like he did now when things were tough. She wanted to end the night wrapped in his arms while they talked about what happened. She wanted it so much it scared her.
This was going horribly wrong. She should have known. How many books and movies were made about people who thought they could sleep together and not fall in love, but did in the end. Only this wasn’t a love story. She’d fall in love, and Jared would move on to the next woman.
“I’m going to get something to drink.”
When she tried to get up, he held onto her hand. “Are you going to ignore me?”
She looked in his eyes. “Jared, we both know I don’t need to go. Do you want your family to think we’re together? If Malcolm’s there, then Kenyatta will be and she’ll tell my sister. Then before you know it, my dad is asking me to bring you to the next Sunday dinner. I can’t tell him it’s not proper to bring my lover to dinner.”
He studied her for a second before a small smile twisted his full lips. “It’s this whole friend, lover thing. The lines get blurry.” He pulled her back against him. “Forget I asked.”
“You can call me after the party,” she said.
He kissed the top of her head. “No need to worry about it until I’m sure I’m going.”
“You need to go.”
“Then go with me.” When she stiffened he laughed. “I’m joking, Tasha. Let’s change the subject, okay?”
“Yes, lets.”
“In Charleston, you said a guy had to be special for you to sleep with him. Now that your virginity’s gone, am I special to you?”
She sat up and groaned. “Why do you ask questions like that?”
“The hell if I know.”
“Maybe it’s time to stop this.”
“I think you’re right.”
They sat on the couch and stared at the television, ignoring the game. Just that quick, he was ready to end things. His agreement hurt more than it should have. She didn’t want to stop sleeping with him, but she needed to. What was supposed to be one night had lasted long past its expiration date. It was better to cut things off now, before she became too accustomed to being with him every night.
She opened her mouth to tell him but sneezed instead. Luckily, she was quick enough to sneeze into the crook of her elbow instead of on him. He jumped up and reached for a tissue. She took it and wiped her nose and he smiled.
“I never do the right thing,” he said. “We’ll stop next week.”
She lay back on the couch and he pulled her feet onto his lap. “That sounds good.”
He began to rub her feet and she snuggled into the cushions. Yes, they were blurring the lines of their relationship. Yes, she was beginning to care about him. But right now she was achy and tired and didn’t want to think about how minutes before she’d been lost at the thought of ending their arrangement. Right now, she just wanted to enjoy the fact he was there and was content to rub her feet and watch the game.
CHAPTER 19
Jared was satisfied Tasha was getting over her allergic reaction when he left her at seven the next morning. The rash was fading and she’d stopped sneezing shortly before ten. He didn’t like the way she casually popped Benadryl that morning, but couldn’t blame her too much since she hadn’t taken any more the night before.
He didn’t know why he cared so much; it must be because of what he’d said the night before. He did like her. He usually didn’t know a woman long enough to like her before they slept together. It put him in an odd position. He didn’t want to care, but couldn’t help it.
He’d lied through his teeth when he said they would end things next week. He wasn’t close to being tired of sleeping with her, and he planned to continue this arrangement for as long as possible. He just hoped he didn’t hurt her too much when it ended, because it would end one day.
Jared had three training sessions set for the morning that he eagerly went through. Afterwards he met with Sam at the production facility and went over the operations for the week. Things were running smoothly as usual and he once again complemented Sam on his hard work before going to meet Malcolm. He wasn’t in the mood to discuss his mother’s engagement party, but Malcolm insisted since he was leaving town for a conference tomorrow.
With a groan, Jared parked his car on Main Street before getting out and entering Malcolm’s office building.
When he stepped off onto Malcolm’s floor, he was immediately grateful he didn’t work in “corporate America.” The sight of the men in button up shirts and slacks and the women in pantyhose made him shudder. He didn’t feel the least bit out of place in his t-shirt and workout shorts.
He smiled at the front desk receptionist, who nodded and said it was okay for him to go down the hall. He greeted some of his brother’s co-workers before entering Malcolm’s office.
Malcolm sat at his desk reading something, dressed in a shirt, tie, and slacks. Malcolm’s straight-laced appearance was one of the things Kenyatta loved about him. He thought it made his brother look even more like the choirboy he always accused him of being.
“What’s up, bruh,” Jared said as he came into the office and sat in the chair across from Malcolm’s desk.
Malcolm looked up and frowned. “What happened to you last night? Devin and I thought you were meeting us for drinks.”
Jared flinched. He’d completely forgotten about meeting them. “My bad, man. Something came up.”
“Something or someone?” Malcolm asked with a raised brow.
Jared hated when he looked like that. It was the same look their dad had used when he’d been scolding them. “Someone, if you must know. You know how I do,” he said with a grin.
“Is that someone Tasha Smith?”
The grin dropped from his face. “How did you find out?”
“Kenyatta figured it out the other day.” He lowered his voice. “That’s the virgin you took out of town.”
Jared shrugged. “And so what?”
Malcolm rolled his eyes. “So what? She’s the sister of my fiancée’s best friend. If you fuck around with her then I’m going to suffer.”
“Please. You’re overreacting,” Jared said.
“Kenyatta and Angie spent two hours on the phone the other night talking about how my no good brother is going to break this poor girl’s heart. Believe me, I will suffer.”
Jared frowned and sat up in the chair. “I’m not going to break Tasha’s heart. We have an understanding.”
“Virgins don’t know the meaning of understanding,” Malcolm said sarcastically.
Jared held up a finger and smiled. “Number one, she’s no longer a virgin.” He lifted another finger. “Number two, she gets me. She knows who I am and I know who she is. What we got is working.”
Malcolm studied him. “How long will it work?”
Jared shrugged. “Until one of us gets caught up.”
“Meaning until Tasha falls in love with you.”
“I’ll stop it before it gets there,” Jared said, but he didn’t meet Malcolm’s eyes. What would it be like for Tasha to say she loved him? He’d probably freak out before the words were out of her mouth, but it would be different to be loved by a nice woman. Tasha wouldn’t say it for clothes, money, or connections. If she said it she would mean it.
“You don’t look convinced,” Malcolm said.
He met Malcolm’s gaze head on. “Look, you tell Kenyatta and Angie to mind their own damn business. Tasha is thirty years old and can make her own decisions.”
“And I’d usually agree with you, but I know Tasha. She’s a nice girl. Jared, you’re used to playing around with women who are used to the game. You shouldn’t be messing around with a good girl.”
He scowled. “What, just because I’ve been around I don’t deserve to have her care about me?”
Comprehension flashed Malcolm’s eyes. “You want her to care about you.”
Jared scoffed. “Whatever.”
“Whatever, hell. You do. I can see it in your eyes. You want this girl to fall for you. Jared, that’s wrong.”
Jared jumped up from the chair and paced back and forth. “Look, I didn’t come here for a lecture on my sex life. Tasha is happy, I’m happy, and what we’re doing is working.” He walked toward the door. “Pick out whatever you want for Ma and Mr. Carter, I don’t give a damn anyway.” He stormed out of the office.
His brother wouldn’t chase him down the hall. It would make a scene at his job, and Malcolm hated being the object of rumors. Jared didn’t care what Malcolm, Kenyatta, or Angie thought. It would be nice to have Tasha care about him. He hated when she acted as if he wasn’t good enough for her to marry. It may be true, but that didn’t make it any less annoying every time she said he wasn’t what she wanted. But he wasn’t deliberately trying to make her fall in love with him.
Sure, he treated her better than any other woman he’d slept with. And yeah, he continued to blur the lines of their relationship in an effort to shake her up a bit. She was always so damn calm about their situation. Always insisting she leave after they had sex, making him wish she would stay. She didn’t want people to know about them, and acted as if he were another co-worker when he showed up for mentoring at the Center. Even when he was deliberately abrasive, she never complained or cried. He was used to women crying and acting as if he’d broken their hearts, when in reality he’d only broken their dreams of uniting with his money. She didn’t want anything from him and dammit, he wanted her to want something from him.
Outside, he stopped at his car. What did he want her to ask for? Not marriage. He didn’t trust women enough to marry one. But it wouldn’t hurt for her to want to be with him.
He smiled. He’d never considered having a long-term lover. It would be hard to convince her to put off marriage. But it would only be for a few months, until they grew tired of the arrangement. If he applied a little pressure, showed her what it would be like, then it should be easier to convince her. She liked what they had going just as much as he, and the sex was amazing.
Whistling, Jared got in his car and headed for the Rec Commission. It was time to turn up the heat and convince Tasha there was no need to rush and find a husband when she had a perfectly good lover at her service.
CHAPTER 20
The buzzing of Tasha’s cell phone interrupted her count of the basketball equipment. She sighed in frustration, not because of the phone’s interruption, but because she’d have to count the equipment for the tenth time. Thoughts of Jared had distracted her the previous nine times. She pulled her phone from her pocket and saw a text from Shayla.
Big party in ATL this weekend. Come, you need the break.
Tasha put the phone back in her pocket. She did need the distraction. Her agreement with Jared to continue their arrangement for one week had easily turned into two. He’d turned up the heat so much, by the end of the first week she hadn’t even brought up ending things. She’d gotten caught up. The realization wasn’t surprising. All it took was a phone call or text from Jared and she was ready.
She’d been with him almost every night for the past four weeks. Now she was hooked and it was getting harder to get out of his bed and go home. He always said she didn’t have to leave, but he never asked her to stay. Refusing to spend the night was the last front she could put up to pretend she didn’t crave him, but it was useless. She wanted to stay, and he wanted her there.
If it were just sex then maybe she wouldn’t have gotten attached. But she’d learned more about Jared over the past weeks than she’d known in the years of working with him. They talked about his business, a new offer to reissue his DVD, their childhood memories, and happenings at the Rec Commission. Since the night he’d tended to her allergies, there’d been other nights they hadn’t had sex and just hung out and watched the NBA playoffs. The lines were so blurry Tasha didn’t even know what label to put on what they were doing.
But she could label what was happening to her: she was falling for Jared, and she was falling hard.
Her phone buzzed again. Cursing, she put down her clipboard and checked the message.
I’m hungry.
It was Jared. Damn, damn, damn. She knew what he was hungry for and it wasn’t food. Her face flushed as she remembered the last time he’d texted those words. He’d shown up at the Center twenty minutes later and feasted on her inside one of the storage rooms. Her panties became damp as her mind’s eye visualized what they must have looked like: her back against the wall, legs open, and Jared kneeling, dining to his heart’s content.
Tasha kicked the wall and grabbed her foot as pain sliced through her big toe. She never should have asked him for the favor. That’s why Shayla invited her to Atlanta. The birthday party for Jared’s mother was this weekend. Once Tasha had updated Shayla on her current situation with Jared and how he continued to ask her to go, Shayla had quickly pointed out it was time to stop sleeping with Jared and move on.
Her phone buzzed again and she seriously considered throwing it against the wall. Instead, she pulled it from her hip again and checked the message.
Hey girl. I hope we can catch up for lunch soon. I really need to talk to another Christian woman.
She should have thrown the phone into the wall. Monica Javers was the newest attendee at her father’s church and for some reason the woman had designated herself as Tasha’s newest friend. She was usually happy to welcome any new members to her father’s church, but Monica’s immediate connection to her was unnerving. Tasha cringed because as the preacher’s daughter, eventually she’d have to accept Monica’s lunch invitation.
She pulled out her phone one more time to check the time; it was almost six. It was the first night of the intramural basketball league so she’d stayed late to make sure things kicked off okay. Giving up on her count of equipment, she grabbed a bag of balls and left the storage room. Two teenage boys she recognized from the mentoring program nearly knocked her over as they ran down the hall.
“My bad, Ms. Smith,” said Jevaras Jones, a seventeen-year-old who had on a t-shirt that swallowed his thin frame and shorts that looked more like oversized pants.
“Yeah, we didn’t see you,” Tony Wilson, the sixteen-year-old Jared mentored, spoke up. He was a miniature version of his mentor in a sleeveless t-shirt that showed off his developing biceps and basketball shorts.
“You would have seen me if you weren’t running in the hall,” Tasha said with a scowl. She shoved the bag into Tony’s hands
. “Take these to the gym. I know that’s where you’re headed.”
“You know it,” said Tony, laughing. “We got to see what these old dudes can do.”
Javaras crossed his arms and pursed his lips. “Why you don’t let us play in the league, Ms. Smith?”
“Because you boys only want to pretend you’re LeBron, or fight each other, instead of playing the game. Now take the balls and stop running in the halls,” she said, tapping her toe.
“Dang, no need to be all nasty,” said Javarus. He tapped Tony on the shoulder. “She must be PMSing.”
“What did you just say?” Tasha snapped. Tony took off down the hall with a mumbled apology and Javarus quickly followed.
Shaking her head Tasha followed. She wasn’t PMSing. She froze. In fact, she hadn’t experienced PMS or her cycle since before Charleston. She mentally counted the weeks and groaned. Six weeks had passed.
Her vision blurred and she gasped for breath. No, no, no, no, no. This can’t be happening, she thought. I’m just stressed. I’ve been late before due to stress. She placed her hand against the wall to brace herself.
“Are you okay? You look as if you’re going to faint.” A warm hand grasped her shoulder. She looked up and met the concerned eyes of Dr. Kevis Flynn.
Tasha nodded and gave him a shaky smile. “I’m fine. I just … had a bad thought.”
He still frowned as he turned her to face him. He lifted her chin and looked into her eyes. “It must have been some thought. You’re shaking.”
Tasha grasped his hand to remove it from her chin. Instead, he turned his to clasp hers. “Something one of the mentoring kids said. It was silly. I shouldn’t take them serious.”
He frowned. “Are they that bad?”
She shook her head. “No, they just don’t know when to stop playing.” She squeezed his hand and tried for a brighter smile. “See? I’m fine. No more shaking.”
He finally smiled back at her. His thumb caressed the back of her hand and, surprisingly, she was comforted by the small gesture. “Good. I thought I would have to rush you to the hospital.”
Worth the Wait (Crimson Romance) Page 13