Infinite Desire

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Infinite Desire Page 11

by Gayle Donnelly, Robyn MacKenzie


  She began pacing back and forth in front of the french doors, hating the uncertainty of the situation. “I mean, as far as you’re concerned, am I welcome here? Am I safe here? Now that you have all the information you need, is that it? Should I run for cover? What am I supposed to do?”

  She stopped her rambling and her pacing and looked back over at him, momentarily losing her train of thought at the sight of him. He remained silent but the heat of his stare as he tracked her body made it hard to focus on her objective. “And for God’s sake, would you please put some pants on? I’m trying to have a serious conversation with you and you’re standing there in your underwear. Cut me a break, will you?”

  Tre flashed a small grin and reached into the armoire for some jeans. He pulled on the worn fabric and zipped them up but left the top button undone before he walked toward her, bare feet and shirtless and sexy as hell. And in actuality, “walked” wasn’t the term for what he was doing. He prowled. A perfectly made machine stalking toward her, his heated gaze burning holes straight through her. He looked like a predator ready to take what was his and, oh, she was so ready to be taken by this man.

  He stood chest to chest with her and even though they weren’t touching she could feel his heat. Alex inhaled deeply before she could stop herself and damn, but he smelled divine. His still-damp hair was screaming for her to run her fingers through it and she wanted nothing more than to pull his mouth to hers. She remembered how this man could kiss. His lips could bring her to her knees. And just thinking about what he could do with his tongue made her immediately flush. She could feel the heat on her cheeks as she looked up into his beautiful amber eyes, wondering what he would do next. Hoping he would do something—anything—to assure her that she was safe with the Coteri. Safe with him.

  He brought his hand to her face and cupped her cheek. She immediately leaned in to his touch. But then his brow furrowed. “You’re something I can’t have, Alex. I can’t do this with you. I’d lose myself and that can’t happen.”

  Confused, Alex replied, “What do you mean, lose yourself? I don’t understand, Tre. Or is this your way of telling me you don’t want me and can’t live with my past?”

  He brushed his thumb over her cheekbone and closed his eyes. She could tell he was battling something and this was the perfect time to break down his walls. She wanted answers from him. She needed to hear the truth and know for certain where she stood with him.

  Tre sighed. “We’ve definitely got a lot of things to talk about, but this thing between us? It can’t happen. It’s not you, Alex—it’s me.”

  Alex quickly pulled away from his touch and backed away from him, her previous nervousness vanishing. “Are you shitting me, Tre? You think that’s going work on me? That line is older than you! Now tell me why you’re really pushing me away. I want you to be the big, tough Coteri warrior you are and tell me straight-up that you can’t stand the thought of being with a Valta, much less one who’s related to Valencia and Luca.”

  Alex was yelling, her heart breaking just a little as she realized that after talking with Isla and Dev she’d actually let herself hope she could find a place for herself among the Coteri, that she might actually have a chance with Tre. What an idiot she’d been. He remained silent and lowered his head but the longer he stayed quiet the more frustrated she became. Damn it, she was going to force him to say the words.

  She closed the distance between them and waited until he met her gaze. “Look, Tre. I know you don’t owe me anything. I know I deceived you when we first met, regardless of my reasons, and I know what you obviously feel about who and what I am. I get it, I really do. But I need to know the truth as it stands with us, from your own mouth, Tre.”

  At his continued silence, she advanced on him farther, poking her index finger into his sternum as her anger rose. “I’m going to try to move forward with my life, Tre. Under a whole new reality that until the other day I didn’t even realize existed. I’d like to do that with the Coteri and with you but you feeding me this bullshit line of ‘it’s not you, it’s me’ doesn’t fly. I’m a fucking scientist, Tre. I don’t deal well with ambiguity. I’ve learned and heard more truths in the last couple of days than I’ve known my entire life and now I’ve got a taste for it. So suck it up and just tell it to me straight, damn it.”

  Alex was startled when Tre suddenly grabbed her arms in a tight hold and pulled her roughly to him. His nostrils flared as he inhaled deeply. The heat in his gaze told her everything she needed to know. He wanted her as much as she wanted him. He might be fighting it, but as raw and alone as she felt after all she’d learned throughout the last few days, Alex knew she’d take whatever this man would give her.

  Alex closed her eyes at the sensation of his warm hands on her skin. The intensity of his gaze when she opened them again almost made her knees go weak. She tried a different tack. “I know you want me, Tre,” she said softly. “I can see it. Feel it. You can’t hide that from me. I know you probably don’t think I deserve an explanation, but I do, and I need one if I’m to have any hope of moving past any of this.”

  Tre’s lips parted as if to speak but then closed, so Alex pressed forward, unsure why she was so adamant in her desire to hear the truth of his rejection from his own lips, but knowing she couldn’t fully get over him if she didn’t. “I metaphorically tilted my head to the side and exposed my jugular to you and your general, Tre. You all took what information you needed and in the process turned my entire existence upside down. And now I’m just supposed to accept that lame line you gave me and walk out of here and not feel completely used and discarded?”

  Tre immediately released her and took a step back. His amber eyes darkened to a deeper brown color and his lips pulled back to reveal his lengthening canines. Alex suddenly realized what she had said. Shit.

  “Okay. That was the wrong choice of words.” She took a step back and crossed her arms over her breasts. “I know you think I used you six months ago, but I didn’t. I swear, Tre.”

  Tre mirrored her pose and crossed his arms over his chest. His eyes gave nothing away but the tension in his jaw was impossible to miss. “Time for that talk, Alex.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Alex swallowed hard, then forced her legs to take her back to the chair she had once occupied and sat back down. She lowered her head, took a deep breath and began her confession.

  “I live alone in Belize. The lower level of my home has been converted into a medical lab. Many of my kind don’t even know of my existence, or at least the fact that I’m Valencia’s daughter. My mother always told me the secrecy was for my protection against the Coteri, who would target me in an effort to harm her.

  My life revolved around infrequent visits from my family and my research. Mother had me working night and day trying to find out why Valta pregnancies weren’t coming to term. Our females seemed to get pregnant so quickly, but once they hit month four, they would miscarry. It was frustrating as hell and I had no definitive data to explain what was wrong. And of course it was up to me to find out why, because if I didn’t, the Coteri would continue to target our kind for extinction and our race would die out.”

  She looked up at him to gauge his reaction to her words but got nothing in return. No emotion, no body movement—nothing. Only a cold, hard stare. Her stomach knotted. Would he believe her at all? Whether he did or not, she had to get it all out.

  “Mother told me to expand my research into breeding with human females. She told me of what the Coteri were doing to humans for their own breeding experiments, which placed an even greater urgency on my research. But she assured me our way would not cause any harm to the volunteers we were able to obtain. At first I didn’t believe the idea had any merit, but after a year of blood and genetic research with blood obtained from blood banks and tissue samples from hospital labs, the results I found in the human samples were encouraging and I shared that news with my brother and mother.”

  Alex paused again to gauge Tre’s rea
ction but she needn’t have bothered. He remained stoic and his gaze never left hers.

  “Anyway,” she continued. “I received a call from Luca to come to New Orleans because he wanted me to examine the volunteer human subjects he’d arranged. I was excited by the prospect, believing everything about my work was aboveboard and for the good of my people.”

  Alex paused and dropped her head into her hands—the realization of what she’d unknowingly been a part of sickened her to her soul. Tre moved and sat on the end of the bed facing her. When she looked up she realized his eyes weren’t quite as cold. It gave her courage to continue.

  “Before we met, I had just arrived in New Orleans. I didn’t know a soul. I was anxious to get started with my human volunteers but Luca kept stalling the process, telling me to get myself settled first and we’d begin soon. I was going stir-crazy. That night in the Quarter I just wanted some time to myself, without the responsibility of saving my race hanging over me. I wanted the freedom to relax and try to remember what it was like to just live. To just be and have fun.”

  Alex shifted in the chair and pulled her legs up underneath her. “I went to the bar to have a couple of drinks, watch the tourists and get away from the pressure and the worry I had been smothered by over the last couple of years. And just my luck, I ran into you and your posse right outside that same damn bar. It was too late for me to shift and get out. You would have sensed me. So I wove my way between the humans and prayed my luck would hold out so I could get away before you saw me.”

  “No such luck, sugar,” Tre quipped, then flashed a quick smile.

  Alex softened. “Smartass. You gonna let me finish?”

  The only response she got was his hand motioning in front of him, indicating that she should continue.

  “When you approached me and didn’t realize I was Valta, I was caught off guard. I had always been told the Coteri could sense us like bloodhounds, and to be honest I was scared shitless.” She paused and met his gaze directly, wanting him to see her sincerity. “I also thought you were the most beautiful man I’d ever seen. It was clear you didn’t know what I was, and because of that I wanted to enjoy the fantasy. I wanted to give in to what my body was telling me it wanted. For that one night, I wanted to live in the moment and take what I wanted. To get away from my real life and responsibilities. To do something forbidden and experience a night of passion, even if that passion was directed at a Coteri warrior, my enemy. So I let you take me to the hotel, Tre. And by the time the elevator door had opened on your floor, I wanted you so desperately my head was spinning. I’d never felt anything like it before and I was willing to risk everything—even my life—to spend that time with you.”

  Alex stood, moved to the french doors and parted the curtains. The bright morning sun streamed in, stinging her eyes. “How was I supposed to know that one night with you wasn’t going to be enough?”

  She stood there in silence. Hoping he would say something. Hoping he would understand that her initial intentions that night had not been deceit but sheer longing to have just one night to herself. She had been at her mother’s beck and call for years and the one night she’d allowed herself to let loose, she’d given her heart to her mortal enemy. And she had given Tre her heart that night. She just hadn’t realized it at the time. Couldn’t he understand that she was dealing with the same dilemma he was? Loving the enemy?

  “Why did you paralyze me before you left?”

  He’d been so quiet that she was startled by his question. She turned to face him. “Because when you woke before I could sneak away, I was afraid you would figure out who and what I was and kill me. That’s what I was taught to believe the Coteri did, Tre. Remember?”

  Tre’s head dropped at her admission. She watched as he stood and shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Was he fighting the urge to come to her? She silently prayed that he would give in to that urge and take her in his arms. Tell her everything was going to be all right. Please, please do that, she thought. I need you to do that.

  He lifted his gaze to hers. His voice was low. “I want to believe you.” He slowly shook his head. “I don’t know what I would have done, Alex. I have no idea what I would have done if I had known who you really were that night. And now that I do know, I’m torn about just how far to trust you, as I’m sure you’re struggling with your own trust issues as well.”

  His eyes showed a pain she had never seen before. But before she could reply to his statement, he continued. “But you need to know something else about me, Alex. I have no idea what I would have done because there’s something inside me that I sometimes struggle to control. An anger deep down that’s usually attributed to the Valta. An anger that can get out of control if I let it loose. My animal side is dominant. That’s why I act the way I do around my brethren. Always kidding and joking with everyone. Trying to be the life of the party. Keeping things light and my anger at bay. Trying to keep my beast under control.”

  She watched a small smile tilt the side of his mouth. “Hell, baking cupcakes for everyone calms me, takes me away from some of the darkness. They all call me Betty Crocker, for fuck’s sake.” He took a deep breath and ran his fingers through his hair. “But if I’m with you, either I’ll pull you into the darkness with me or that side of me will recognize that you were born and raised Valta and I’ll lose my Coteri side forever. I don’t want to be that, Alex. I don’t want that for you.” He paused for a heartbeat, then met her gaze directly. “But I also don’t want to let you go.”

  Alex’s heart leaped. He wanted her. She left the window and quickly walked across the room to him. She placed her hands on his face and smiled up at him. “Don’t you understand, Tre? You didn’t sense me as Valta the first night because I’m not dark. Being Valta is a choice, or in my case something you’re born into, but it’s not a separate species. I’m a scientist, remember? Our blood is the same. Maybe I was born to the Valta queen but I’m not dark. And neither are you. People can be whatever they want to be, Tre. It’s a choice every individual has to make. And I choose to be with you. If you’ll have me.”

  Alex watched him war with his feelings for her and the fear of his supposed dark side. He wanted to trust her. The lines on his forehead bunched in confusion and he pursed his lips tight, as though forcing himself not to say a word. For some reason, it made Alex feel better that he wasn’t just dismissing what she said. He was actually considering staying with her.

  After speaking with Isla the day before, Alex knew she wasn’t true Valta, regardless of her lineage. She had a conscience. She truly cared about the humans she was supposed to treat. She didn’t want any harm to come to them. And she really didn’t have any hatred for the Coteri. She had stupidly believed what her mother and brother had told her throughout her entire life, but in reality she had never seen any evidence of the Coteri committing any of the evil acts they’d been accused of.

  Well, she refused to keep her head buried in the sand any longer. She knew the truth now and she was ready to turn away from the only life she had known and move forward toward her new reality. And she wanted Tre to move forward with her. To accept her. To believe in her. To want her.

  Alex continued to stare into his troubled gaze, hoping he would come to his senses and realize they belonged together. They had monstrous challenges to overcome. Both needed to learn to trust and both needed each other to heal their wounds from the past.

  She took another step closer. Only a breath separated them now. “Think about it, Tre. You didn’t see me as dark. You approached me as though I was Coteri. That alone should tell you there is no darkness in me. Nothing to trigger this anger you are so fearful of. And I didn’t sense a darkness in you. If I had, I never would have gone with you that night. You wouldn’t hurt me, Tre. I know you wouldn’t. No matter what you think of yourself, I believe that with my entire being.”

  She slid her hands over his broad shoulders, down his arms and squeezed. “Just give this a chance. Let this happen. Let us h
appen. I don’t really understand the intensity of my feelings toward you because I’ve never experienced them before. But I know I’m right about this, Tre. And more than anything I want you to want me and trust me too, regardless of the shit-storm of baggage that comes along with my past.”

  She watched as his mouth softened and his eyelids closed as though in surrender. Felt his warm breath come from between his lips as he slowly lowered his head toward her. Alex closed her eyes and held her breath, waiting for his warm, soft lips to cover hers, but the connection never came. She lifted her lids to look at his beautiful face. His eyes still closed, his hands shaking on her hips, he was still fighting his emotions and she needed to take charge. Make the move for him.

  Closing the short distance, she brought her lips to his and instantly felt the electric charge run through her body. Her chest was going to burst. Alex was immediately flooded with memories of their one and only night together. The passion they’d shared. The raw, animal lust he had shown all night. She wanted that again.

  Alex slid her hands up Tre’s muscular arms and over his shoulders before twining them around the back of his neck. She pulled him tighter to her as her fingers latched on to the ends of his thick hair. She wasn’t going to let him go this time. Her tongue traced his lips until he finally opened to her. She pressed against him and deepened the kiss, running her tongue over his, entwining them together.

  Alex heard a low growl rumble through his chest, then his fingers tightened on her hips, pulling her close. She broke the kiss and leaned her head back, needing to look into his eyes. She cupped his face in her hands. “Let go, Tre,” she whispered.

  He slowly opened his eyes and gazed down at her with a heated intensity that sent frissons of need coursing through her body. “I won’t let you go this time, Alex. Whatever you do, don’t run again, because I promise I’ll catch you.”

 

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