“Of course not. I’ll be fixing up the Camaro anyway.”
“I’d scrap it.”
Smoke headed up the stairs and onto the front porch. The plaster was cracked on the columns, and the hinges squeaked when he opened the front door. A little bit of debris floated onto his hair and into his eyes. Dusting himself off, he said, “I’m not so sure they’re staying very busy these days.” He pulled the door wide open and stepped aside. “After you.”
The décor on the inside matched up well with everything on the outside: old and dated. Smoke sniffed. A staleness lingered in the air. He gave Sid a shrug and started making his rounds. The shag carpet was a seafoam green, wallpaper covered the walls top to bottom, and furniture trimmed in dark wood with soft, colorful velvet cushions flourished in every room they could see. There were three funeral parlors, plenty of bathrooms, and water fountains. A small room with a fireplace had been converted into a breakroom with a coffee station and a nice stainless steel refrigerator.
Smoke moseyed deeper down the hall toward the back. There was an office with a big cherry desk and a green leather office chair behind it. He ventured farther inside and noticed a man peering out the window.
“Excuse me?” Smoke said.
The wide-shouldered man in an old, dark-grey suit turned. The oak floorboards creaked under his shifting weight. The man’s dark-brown eyes looked almost as black as coal. It was Titus Tolliver. The thick-necked man in a bowtie looked Smoke up and down and said, “Did you come to bury somebody, or to be buried? I’ve been expecting you, Smoke.”
All around the house, the hallways echoed with doors slamming shut.
Titus added, “I’ve been expecting both of you.”
CHAPTER 30
Smoke pulled out his pistol and pointed it at Titus’s head. “Expecting us? Care to explain?”
“Certainly.” Titus lumbered behind the desk and sat down. His face was cold and expressionless. “We all know about you, John Smoke. Sidney too. Now put the gun down and have a seat so that no one gets hurt.”
Smoke backed up with the pistol still aimed at Titus and checked the door that led back outside. It was locked in place. Solid. He approached Titus, leaned over the desk, and pointed the gun in his face. “I disagree. You’re going to hurt once I put a bullet in you.”
Leaning forward, Titus said, “Try me.”
Smoke gave the stone-cold face a hard look. There was something different about Titus. Just like the rest of the shifters, he had an overconfident edge about him. Smoke didn’t know what kind of powers Titus had, or if he had any. The unknown was dangerous. He eased back and holstered his weapon. “What about my partner?”
“Partner? How quaint. You mean your wife? I’m certain she’s fine.” Titus straightened up some of the paperwork on his desk. “For now.”
“If you know so much about me, then you know that I don’t play games. If you want to talk, then bring Sid in here, then we can all have a nice polite conversation.”
Titus cocked a brow and said, “My, you are cocky, aren’t you? Well, Mister Smoke, my funeral home, my rules. And please, don’t give me the whole ‘If anything happens to her’ speech. I’ve heard it a hundred times.”
“That’s not my style. Besides, she can take care of herself.” Smoke gave the office a closer look. The brass floor lamps were antique, early nineteenth century. Behind Titus was a wall-to-wall bookshelf with many black-and-white framed photos layered in. Everything but the 1970s carpet was old, maybe a century or more, but nothing was dusty. It wouldn’t surprise him if Titus had been working here for a hundred years. “So are you going to bring her in or not? You might want to do that before she comes knocking.”
“She’s fine just where she is. Safe too, very safe.” Titus slid open a desk drawer and produced a clear jar of about twelve ounces with a pale fluorescent-yellow fluid in it. “Do you know what this is?”
“A urine sample?”
“Hah, good one, but no, not a urine sample. No, this is embalming fluid. You know what embalming fluid is, don’t you?”
“Sure, I watch a show about embalming fluid all the time on the undertaker network. Get on with it before I put a hole in your head.”
Holding the jar up above his eyes, Titus said, “This embalming fluid is special. You see, this is what we use to make the deaders. In part, that is. It’s like blood, new blood, and it doesn’t take very much. As a matter of fact, it can redirect the living and reanimate the dead. Well, with a little bit of help from our sorcerous ways.” He stared at the jar with admiration. “It’s taken me decades, but I finally have it perfected.”
Smoke crossed his leg over his knee, pointed at Titus with one finger, and said, “But do you have it patented? Because if you don’t have it patented, well, then anyone could go around and start animating the dead.” He cleared his throat. “What you need are investors, and I’m listening, but I think we should angle for a spot on Shark Tank. Those venture capitalists will eat this up. But let’s work on the package and a nice logo first. What do you say?”
Titus looked like he’d swallowed a cat when he said, “What in Hades are you talking about? I’m not pitching you a business deal. I’m threatening you and your wife. I’m going to take this serum and shoot it into her veins, stopping her heart and reanimating her into an abomination. It’s going to be painful. Miserable. Insufferable. And you are going to watch it all happen, unless you cooperate.”
“Yeah, I’m not feeling it. You’re going to have to work on your approach. And smile. Can you smile? You look like you’re swallowing sand when you talk. Tell you what—”
Titus smashed his fist on the desk. “Shut up! Shut up, you irritating man. Do you not understand what is about to happen if you don’t cooperate? Your wife will die!”
Smoke rubbed his neck. He was getting to Titus just like he wanted, but something was getting to him too. Everywhere they went, they were expected. It was as if the Drake knew their every move, as if he and Sid were mice in some mysterious maze. A twisted form of entertainment and experiments. It was as if the likes of Kane and Reginald were trying to wear him down. But why? Why him? He was getting sick of it. “Titus, if anything happens to my wife, you’ll pay for it.”
“Oh ho.” Titus rolled his eyes. “What are you going to do, kill me? Have you not figured it out yet? You can’t kill any of us, you idiot. That’s what’s so entertaining, watching you fools fight a battle you cannot win.”
“We’ve won plenty of battles, and the Drake’s losses are stacking up.”
“Pfft. Are you a total fool? Who do you know for sure that you killed? Let me fill you in, Mister Smoke. Adam Vaughn. Alive and well. Angi Harlow. Alive, beautiful, and well. Swift Venison is having some of the best days of his life.” Titus tucked the jar of fluid back inside his desk. “You are our entertainment. You are Jason. We are the labyrinth.”
Smoke felt tiny spiders crawling up his arms under his skin. Titus’s words rang true. Nothing they’d done so far had mattered. They hadn’t accomplished anything. He wanted to think it was a bluff, but it didn’t feel like one. “You left out Mason Crow, the minotaur. I’m pretty sure he’s dead.”
“Oh no, he’s not dead.” Titus smacked his lips. “Just incapacitated.” The chair squeaked when he leaned back. “Feeling a little foolish now, are we?”
“No. I’m kinda excited actually. Once I’m done with you, I can go after them.”
Holding up one finger, Titus replied, “You might want to hold that thought.” There was a black remote controller on his desk that he picked up. He pointed it over his shoulder at the bookshelf behind him. A section of the cabinet split open, revealing a flat-screen monitor.
Smoke’s heart skipped a beat when Titus said, “How’s your wife doing now, John?”
CHAPTER 31
Chin up and head tilted, Smoke examined the monitor and said, “Fine, I suppose.”
“You can’t possibly be so coy,” Titus said with a sneer. “This is your wife we
are talking about. What kind of husband are you?”
“Did you make Sidney invisible or something? Because I don’t see her.”
The confidence vanished from Titus’s face. He turned in the chair and gazed at the screen. His mouth hung open. “Idiots!”
A ruckus kicked up on the other side of the locked office door. Something big and heavy slammed into it.
“Smoke! You in there?” Sid yelled from the other side.
“Impossible!” Titus exclaimed.
With his gun on Titus, Smoke stood up and said to the shifter, “Don’t move. The cavalry’s arrived.”
There was punching and grunting on the other side of the door. Bodies were being slammed into the walls. The floor shook under the power of heavy footfalls.
Sid was shouting with anger on the other side of the door, “Come and get me, you big ugly—”
The body of something huge slammed into the door again, this time busting it off the hinges and turning the wood into splinters. A giant of a man, big boned with a teased-up head of hair, lay on the floor. He fought his way back to his feet.
Sid stepped into the room. Her face was scuffed up, but her eyes were vibrant and full of energy. Gun in hand, she took aim at the young giant of a man and said, “Stay down, jughead.” She eyed Smoke. “How are you doing?”
“Couldn’t be better. Glad to see that you’re taking care of things, not that I’m surprised. It seems like you turned the tables on these guys,” Smoke said, keeping his gun on Titus.
“I took my vitamins,” she said.
Titus’s eyes started shifting back and forth, and his fingers began to fidget in his lap.
“Don’t try anything,” Smoke warned. “So who’s your new friend, Sid?”
“Some oversized skateboarder who got the jump on me. The damn Lurch of a man was hiding behind the curtains and swallowed me up in them.” Her eyes danced with excitement but remained fixed on the giant. The young fella wore jeans and a heavy cotton T-shirt and looked perfectly normal aside from his extraordinary size. “I played possum. He turned his back, and I slipped out of that basement morgue that your buddy has up on the screen. They have a lot of cadavers down there. Lots of doors, too.”
“Get over here, Titus,” Smoke said, fishing out a pair of specially made flex cuffs. “You’re a wanted man, and I’m taking you in.”
Titus scoffed. “Are you joking? You can’t arrest me.”
“It’s not an arrest. Think of it more as an apprehension.”
“Absurd.” Titus swiveled around in his chair, hiding himself from Smoke’s view. “Tell you what. I’ll play your game, Smoke. Just give me a moment.”
The secret panel in the bookshelf closed back up, hiding the monitor.
The young giant chuckled and said, “You guys are really messing up.”
“Stick a sock in it, Diesel,” Sid said. She moved toward the windows, eyeing the chair.
Smoke felt those spiders crawling up his arms again, under his skin. “Front and center, Titus, or I’m going to put a bunch of holes through you and that chair.”
“Have I not told you that you cannot kill the likes of me?”
The stretching sound of the fiber in Titus’s suit caught Smoke’s ear. The leather in the chair groaned. Smoke’s glance slid over to Sid. Her dark eyes widened, and she took aim at the chair.
“I can hear your hearts racing,” Titus continued. From the confines of the chair, he stretched out his arms, revealing scaly grey hands with fingernails like claws that could rip through flesh like knives. The chair pushed back into the desk. Titus stood and turned. His face was a grey mask of ruddy skin that had the heavy-laden features of a gargoyle. A long chin and ears. A heavy brow protruding over his glaring yellow eyes. Built like a boulder, Titus shoved the heavy chair into the wall, held out his wrists, and said in his dangerous gravelly voice, “Come on, Smoke, cuff me.”
CHAPTER 32
Smoke tossed the custom flex cuffs at Titus and said, “Cuff yourself.”
As the cuffs bounced off of Titus’s suit, he said, “That’s one of the most ignorant things I have ever heard.” He leaned down and shoved the entire desk at Smoke. “Do it yourself, puppet!”
Smoke hopped backward and fired a single shot at Titus. The blue-tipped bullet bounced off the gargoyle’s chest.
“Your weapons cannot hurt the gargoyle.” Titus’s massive hands clutched in and out like a pair of savage can openers. “But most certainly I can hurt you.” He grabbed the corner of the heavy desk, lifted it up off of its feet, and flung it aside.
“Smoke, watch out!” Sidney cried.
The young giant swept his leg at Smoke.
Smoke leapt to one side.
Sidney started firing bullets into the giant.
The huge man shielded himself with his arms.
“Back off, big boy!”
The big fella bolted down the hallway toward the front doors.
Sid gave chase.
“Sid, no!” Smoke said. He blasted several rounds at Titus.
The grey-skinned terror came at him with the speed of a charging bull.
Still shooting, Smoke skipped out of his path.
Titus stuck out his arm and swept a leg out from under Smoke, sending him tumbling to the seafoam-green floor.
Hitting the planks hard, Smoke regained his aim on Titus and unloaded the clip.
Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
Bullets ripped through the fine threads of the gargoyle’s suit only to ricochet off his stony skin. Smoke brought his arms up just in time to catch the full force of Titus landing on top of him like a battering ram dropped from the ceiling.
“Oof!”
“Careful, you might break something,” Titus said in a voice filled with confidence. “But if you don’t, I will!” He held Smoke down by the neck and punched him with the force of a stone hammer.
Smoke groaned. Eyeing the next descending punch, he snapped his arm up and locked his fist around the gargoyle’s wrist.
Titus’s brute strength was like that of an ape, raw and powerful. The gargoyle swung his arm back and forth, saying, “Delay, delay, you can only delay the inevitable.” With his free arm, he grabbed Smoke’s wrist and started crushing it.
Smoke groaned. The viselike grip felt like it could snap his wrist. It sent shards of fire into his eyeball.
At almost point-blank range, Sid started firing shot after shot into the temple of Titus’s head. His head and burly neck recoiled against the bullets that hit hard and bounced away. His grip slackened.
Drawing his knees into his chest, Smoke planted the soles of his boots into the gargoyle-man’s abdomen and launched him back over his head.
Titus crashed into the bookcase, scattering books and papers all over.
Up on one knee, Smoke slapped a new clip into his weapon. “You thinking what I’m thinking?” he said to Sid.
Charging the hammer on her gun, she said with a nod, “I’ve been wanting to do this all along.”
In his bullet-torn suit, Titus rose to his feet, straightened his tie, and said, “You mortals should have run while you had the chance. The both of you should have taken the deal. But now, I’m going to tear you apart.”
“Those first shots were just a warning,” Smoke said. “You’d best come along quietly. All you’re doing is making a mess of your nice office here.”
“You cannot stop me. You cannot kill me. Your mortal weapons mean nothing to me.”
Smoke aimed for the head.
Sid aimed for the belly. “On three?” she said to Smoke.
With a bitter sneer on his face, Titus advanced.
“Three,” Smoke said, and they both fired while diving behind what was left of the cherrywood desk.
Blam-Blam!
Boom-Boom!
The red-tipped explosive rounds shook the entire room. Paper and shards of wood flew everywhere.
Ears ringing, Smoke said to Sid as they got up, “Are you good?”
Sh
e plucked a sliver of wood from her face. “Never better. Morning glory, that was nasty.” The glass was blown out of all the windows behind her. “You?”
Smoke tilted his chin at the body of Titus lying out cold on the floor. “That’s what I call a plan coming together.” Holstering his weapon, he rummaged around on the floor until he produced the flex cuffs from the debris. He cuffed Titus’s hands behind his back then got out some more cuffs and really secured the shifter. Looking at Sid, he said, “Did we even discuss our payment for this gig?”
“Hm? I don’t think we did,” Sid replied. “I’m thinking a hundred K should fit the bill.”
“At least.” Smoke rolled Titus over. The gargoyle was a man again. “What about the teen giant?”
“Another problem for another time, I guess.” She helped Smoke get Titus to his feet. “He’s not going in the Hellcat.”
“Don’t worry, I have an idea. Come on.”
They half dragged, half walked Titus into one of the parlors. A black coffin was on display and vacant. With a grunt, Smoke heaved the bulky body up and inside, face down in the coffin.
“Heavy?” Sid said.
“Like his limbs were filled with sand.” He closed the coffin lid.
Sid helped seal the latches. “I don’t suppose he’ll suffocate.”
“He says they can’t be killed, but I bet we can make them uncomfortable.” He found one of the decorative coffin gurneys in a nearby hallway and wheeled it in. Together, they shoved the coffin onto the gurney and started to take it outside. Smoke stopped Sid short of the door. “You might want to go out front and do some damage control.”
“Suggestions?”
“Gas explosion?”
“I like it.” She gave him a quick kiss on the lips. “See you in a bit.”
Checking to see that no one was outside, Smoke pushed the coffin out onto the funeral home’s parking lot behind one of the Cadillac hearses. He surveyed the area again. There wasn’t any sign of anybody yet, not even the giant, but the distant whine of sirens caught his ear.
The Supernatural Bounty Hunter Files: Special Edition Fantasy Bundle, Books 6 thru 10 (Smoke Special Edition Book 2) Page 23