"What's wrong?" She bent over to ask.
"He didn't show."
"You sure about that?" She nudged me and pointed in the direction of the door that had just closed behind the most beautiful man I had ever laid my eyes on. My heart skipped a beat and a knot formed in my stomach as he smiled that panty dropping, heart-melting smile.
I met him halfway across the room and stopped just shy of where he had stopped. I wasn't sure how to react to him. I wanted to throw my arms around him and pull him into a deep hug. I wanted to crush my lips down on his and claim him as mine, but I didn't. I let him take the lead, and for once he seemed hesitant to even be around me.
CHAPTER TWENTY
Tristan
I had debated for hours whether or not to go to her going away party, but in the end I just couldn't imagine not supporting her. Whether I agreed with her decision or not, I needed her to know that I would support her no matter what. Before I had left my condo this morning, my sister had warned me that she may not be receptive to me, that she may actually try to push me away, but I didn't care. If anything, I needed to see her and know that she was going to be okay with or without me.
I stood with my hand on the doorknob for what felt like forever, before I finally made the decision to turn it and enter the party that I could hear going on, on the other side of the door. When I pushed the door open, the first thing I saw was her standing there with London's arm wrapped tightly around her waist. A million different emotions flowed through me in that moment, but only one mattered, and that was the love that I felt for this amazing girl.
She looked absolutely radiant and she was smiling and laughing right along with everyone else. When she eventually caught sight of me, I could see the look of surprise written all over her face. She hadn't expected me to show up, I could tell. She instantly made her way over to me, but stopped short when I stopped moving in her direction. It definitely wasn't the response I had been hoping for. I wanted her to throw her arms around me and hug me so deeply that it would hurt, but this hurt far worse. She seemed distant and cold, and I hated seeing her like that. She opened her mouth to say something, but I cut her off in hopes that what I was about to say would change her mind if she was thinking something negative.
"You look beautiful, Riley. I'm so proud of you for getting to this point, and for finding something to live for."
"I didn't think you would show." She was staring at the floor as she spoke, almost as if it was going to fall out from underneath her. "But I'm glad you came."
My finger went under her chin and pulled her face up to look at me. "I wouldn't have missed it for anything." And with those few words, her perfect smile was back in its rightful pace. "So when do you get to leave?"
"As soon as I'm done here." She motioned to everybody in the room.
"Will you let me drive you to your house?"
"I would like that." Just like that, all was right with us again.
I slid my hand into hers and let her lead the way. We walked over to Blake and a couple of the other people standing around waiting for Riley to return. They were all telling stories of how they thought Riley would never open up to anybody. I had to agree with them, but I was also giving myself some of the credit for the change.
My hand refused to let go of hers, even when she tried to leave to use the restroom. I was terrified that if she left my side, she would take her emotions with her. We had come so far in our relationship, and granted it needed work still, but I didn't want the possibility of her leaving me for good to enter her mind, not for one second. That, and I knew London all too well; he would take the opportunity to pounce.
"I promise, I'll be right back." She whispered before letting go of my hand and exiting the room.
I made my way over to London, mainly to keep him occupied, but also because there were a few things that needed to be said before he and Riley no longer had contact. "You got a minute?"
He nodded in the direction of the other side of the room where no one would over hear us. "What is it, Tristan?"
"Look, I'm apologizing for what happened the other day, but don't mistake this for kindness. I'm only apologizing for Riley's sake. I could give two shits why you find it necessary to move in on something that is clearly going on between the two of us."
"Tristan, thanks for the apology. I appreciate it."
Seriously, that was it? He wasn't going to fight with me on this? What was this guy’s deal? "That's it?"
"Yeah, that's it. Where you expecting me to fight you?"
I was flabbergasted. "No, I wasn't expecting you to fight me, but I was expecting you to fight for her."
"I can clearly see where I'm not wanted."
Damn straight. "Well, good." I was thrown off kilter a bit by his reaction. This wasn't the same guy that had been trying to get into Riley's good graces the other night, with his tongue. "What's your deal, London? One day your trying to ram your tongue down her throat and now you don't give a shit if I have her?"
"She's not a possession, Tristan. That's your problem-" He leaned in close so only I could hear him, "The more you treat her like that, the more she wants to be with someone like me. You're laying all the groundwork for me, and all I have to do is sit back and reap the rewards when she comes running. So thanks man, I appreciate it." He clapped me on the shoulder as he nudged past me, and I lunged at him. We went crashing to the ground, taking the table with Riley's cake on it with us. I straddled him and laid into his face repeatedly. Everyone sat back with looks of horror as I pummeled the shit out of this cocky asshole who felt entitled to everything, especially Riley.
When London stopped moving beneath me, I quickly scrambled off of him and waited for the slew of security guards that were sure to come rushing in. But first, I caught sight of Riley. She was standing back with her hands covering her mouth as a few stray tears rolled down her reddened cheeks. I moved towards her, but she stepped back behind Mr. Rollins. She was terrified of me, and I could see it as clear as day. I tried to reach out for her once more, but she only retreated further. I could see it in her eyes that I had just shattered every decent thought she had of me. I was now that guy. If she would just give me a second to explain how London provoked me. Ever since that fucker showed up, it was like his mission to make me look bad in front of her, and damn it if I didn't fall for it every god damned time.
"Riley, please?" She stood back shaking her head, before she ran to London's side. I knew the minute her hands touched his lifeless body that she was gone.
I made my way towards the door, just as security was showing up. I glanced back at her one last time before I was escorted out of the building. She looked directly at me and I could see the hate radiating off of her. I gave her an apologetic look and turned to leave. No matter how hard I tried, I always ended up hurting her, physically and emotionally. Maybe London was right the first time when he told me she was better off without me. Why was it that I had no problem fighting for her physically, but emotionally I was lacking?
Tony, the bigger security guard reached for my arm just as I was about to leave the building, "Tristan, I've known you for awhile now. I don't know your situation, but I do know Riley's. I think maybe you should think about whether or not she's really the girl for you. There's a lot behind those blue eyes that you don't see. And fighting is one thing that'll push her away. I'm just saying."
"Thanks, Tony. I'll take that into consideration."
"Just back off for a bit. Give her time."
I nodded and made my way to my car. I understood what Tony was telling me, but I just couldn't get over the fact that London seemed to always make himself out to be the victim. When I reached my car, I noticed my sister standing against the driver side door.
"What are you doing here?"
"Let's just say, I knew you would self destruct. What happened?" She pointed at my bloody knuckles, but I shook it off.
"Nothing. I did what I always do, I pushed her completely away." I reached around Grace to
get in the car, but she wasn't budging. "Grace, please move." I growled.
"No, and you don't get to talk to me like that. I'm here to help you, just remember that."
"I know, Gracie, but I can manage to fuck this up all on my own."
"Trust me, I know big brother. When you finally realize that you deserve happiness, that's when you'll finally find it. Maybe now, just isn't the time."
I cocked my head at her, "Are you saying I don't deserve Riley?"
"No Tristan, that's not what I'm saying at all." She clutched my face between her hands so I had no choice but to look at her. "What I'm saying is, maybe the timing isn't right. I believe you deserve to be loved more than anyone, but you don't. You're still punishing yourself for things that were beyond your control and it's making you rip apart anything good that comes your way. It wasn't your fault."
I hung my head as the tears welled up behind my eyelids. As much as I hated to admit it, my sister was right. I wound up tearing apart everything good in my life, because I couldn't change the past.
"Look at me, Tristan. If you need me to say it, I will."
"No, I don't need you to say it. You shouldn't have to, because even if you do, I don't."
"I forgive you, Tristan."
I slammed my fists against the hood of my car, "Shut up, Gracie!"
"Sir, are you okay?"
When I looked up, a young man was standing in front of me where Grace had just been a few seconds ago. "I'm fine. Thanks. Did you happen to see where the girl went that was just here?"
"No, I'm sorry. I didn't." He turned and left, and once again I was left alone. One of these days I was going to figure out how to control myself, or maybe like my sister said, forgive myself. Maybe that would be the day I became whole again.
I jumped in the car and made my way home. I made a pit stop on the way and decided to start the party a little early. I cracked open the fifth of vodka that I picked up at the liquor store and proceeded to drink down as much as I could before the burning sensation kicked in. I made sure to watch the road closely as I inched my way home. Luckily I only lived a few miles from the hospital. I took another pull from the bottle as I pulled into my parking space and instead of going inside, I grabbed my board and my shorts from the corner of the parking stall and the bottle of vodka, before I started making my way out to the beach. There was only one way I could truly release all of my pent up frustration, a place where I would feel safe. The embrace of the salty ocean wrapped me in a cocoon as I slammed into the waves. I paddled out harder than I had ever paddled before, and when I got past the break, I sat up and proceeded to finish the rest of the warm liquid in the now fogged over glass bottle. When the last drop hit my tongue, I threw the bottle as hard as I could and lay back on my board.
I looked up into the burning rays of the midday sun, praying for something good to come of my life. I let my arms float out beside me, letting the warm salty water take each limb wherever it wanted, and at this very moment, I wanted to die.
CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE
Riley
I wanted so badly to go with London downstairs, but Mr. Rollins told me I wouldn't be allowed past the front desk. I was beyond frustrated and I threw myself into packing my things to keep myself occupied. Every couple of minutes I would stop and have to shake my head to clear the sight of Tristan's look in his eyes out of my head. Those hardened over eyes looked all too familiar. I remember seeing them on one of my foster brother's face every time he would come into my room late at night.
I was only ten when it first started happening. He was fifteen. I tried to fight him off at first, but I soon realized shortly after, that the more I fought him, the more enraged he would get. He enjoyed the fight. If anything, he would provoke me to fight back just so he could get what he was looking for. Eventually, I would just close my eyes tight and think of happier things until he was done. Those eyes though, still haunted me until this very day. His emerald green eyes seemed to turn the blackest shade of black whenever he would enter my room. It was the very same as Tristan's eyes every time he and London would get into it. It may not have been the exact same thing, but it was enough to make me want to disappear and that wasn't good for me.
I was just placing the last of my toiletries in my bag when Mr. Rollins came into my room. "Hey Riley, you get everything together?"
I nodded my head as I took a seat on my bed. "How is he?"
"It's pretty bad. He has a couple broken ribs, his jaw had to be wired shut and he hasn't woken up yet."
I wasn't about to break down in front of Mr. Rollins, knowing that he made the decision on whether or not I was allowed to leave today, so I threw my walls back up and stood to grab my bag. "Will you please keep me updated on his condition? My cab will be here any minute."
Mr. Rollins stood to let me pass, but gently grabbed my hand as I went to walk past him. "Are you sure you're okay?"
"Yes. I just have so much to do today. I will try to come back and check on him later. Here's my new number." I slid a piece of paper into his palm. "Please make sure London gets this."
Mr. Rollins looked at the piece of paper perplexed. "Can I help at all?"
"No, I'm good. I'm sorry I can't stay and wait to see how he is, but I have someone I need to meet at the house soon." This was a lie, but he didn't know that. If there was one thing I knew, it was that I was an amazing liar.
"Okay Riley. Please remember we have our first individual session tomorrow afternoon at four."
"I know, Mr. Rollins. I'll be there." I gave a halfhearted smile and made my way out to the common room. I said a few goodbyes to everyone and then made my way towards the doors. Tony stood against the wall waiting to escort me out, when I glanced back one last time to say a silent goodbye to a place I hoped I would never have to return to.
"You ready?"
"I am." I whispered back at Tony.
We made our way down the elevator in complete silence until the doors opened up to the main entrance. "Tony?"
"Yes, Riley."
"Was he okay when you left him?" Tony knew exactly who I was talking about.
"He was hurting. I gave him a few words of wisdom and sent him on his way."
I reached up and wrapped my arms around Tony's neck, "Thank you." I whispered as I turned and walked out into the glorious sunshine.
My cab was waiting out front just as planned, I gave the driver the address of where I needed to go and he quickly sped off into traffic. I wasn't exactly sure where my mother's house was located, but by the address, I knew it wasn't in the city. Sure enough, about ten minutes later we were pulling up to a gated community that was lined with some of the biggest houses I had ever seen.
"Are you sure this is the right neighborhood?" I leaned forward to the partition to get a better view.
"I'm sure, ma'am. Do you know the code?"
I quickly started searching through the front pocket of my bag where I had put the letter from my mother. Sure enough at the very bottom of the last page were four numbers followed by a pound sign. "Yes, please pull up a bit." The shiny silver box stared at me, almost mocking me. It knew I didn't belong here, just as I knew it. I quickly typed the four numbers and the huge metal gates in front of the cab slowly started to open. As much as I couldn't see myself here, I could. I was good at adapting and I wanted to fit into this neighborhood. I wanted people to have respect for me and not look at me like some sad twenty-one year old suicidal girl.
"Looks like this is it." The cab driver's voice broke through my revelry and I had to stop myself from jumping at the sound of his voice.
"What do I owe you?" I reached into my bag to pull out some money I had had in my pockets the night I was admitted.
"It's been taken care of."
My shocked expression caught his attention in his rear view mirror. "I'm judging by the expression on your face that you weren't aware of this."
"No. No I wasn't. Can you tell me who paid you?"
"Some guy was waiting outside the
building when I pulled up. He gave me a stack of cash and told me to take you wherever you needed to go. I didn't catch his name."
"Tristan." I whispered.
"I'm sorry, what?"
"Nothing. Thank you."
"Anytime."
I gathered my bag and exited the cab. I stood back in awe as I took in the enormous house in front of me. It had a three-car garage and the outside of it looked like an old Victorian mansion. It had an expansive wrap around porch and a small balcony off of one of the rooms on the second floor.
The only thing my mother hadn't left me was a key to get into the place. She had left me a number to call with the name Nancy next to it though. She was apparently my mother's lawyer. When I had called her yesterday she seemed elated to hear from me. Apparently my mother wasn't sure if I would respond well to her will. Nancy had told me she would meet me here today around two. I glanced down at the clock on my cell phone and it said it was two minutes past. I wasn't a huge fan of being late to anything, so it tended to bother me when others were. I was starting to get a little antsy waiting for her, when a black BMW pulled into the driveway next to me. The windows were too dark to see through, so I wasn't sure who exactly sat behind the wheel, but I was about to find out.
The driver side door flung open and a bright red pair of heels came into view and then the rest of her. She was tall and beautiful. She had shoulder length blonde hair and she couldn't have been any older than Tristan.
"Hi, I'm Nancy. You must be Riley?"
I glanced down at my tattered appearance. In comparison to her, I looked like a homeless person, and I could tell by the look on her face that she was looking at me the same way. She extended her hand out for me to shake it and I did.
"Yes, that's me."
"It's a pleasure to finally meet you, Riley."
Lying bitch. "I wish I could say the same, but given the fact that I didn't know you existed until recently, well." I shrugged my shoulders as I dropped her hand.
"Well, let's get you into your new house shall we?"
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