by Mike Andy
“Shh, it will be alright. This is all new to me. It is new to you too. Life just dealt us a bad hand, but we can get through this. I don’t want to push you away. I’m here for you.”
Richard calmed down, hugging his arms around me.
“I’m sorry. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner. I thought you would be mad at me. That you would think I was using you. I want this to be real. I don’t want to hurt anymore. I need you Vick. I can’t do this alone.”
My hand stroked across his back in soothing motions. “I’m here. You are not alone. You will always have me.” I pulled away slightly. My hand on his chin, I lifted it up to look into his eyes. I leaned down to kiss him. A soft, gentle kiss to reassure him I was not going anywhere.
Richard came back into the house after that. I knew he would eventually have to talk to his roommates. That would be a difficult conversation for him. If they truly wanted to support him, they would understand his decision to not return to his ex-boyfriend.
Chapter 11
Richard
Victor had the same look on his face David had when I told him I was pregnant. It made me mad to see that expression. I was hurt before and now it was happening again. Whenever someone found out about the baby, they turned away from me. I felt truly alone in the world. I didn’t have anyone I could rely on.
That is why I was running away. I didn’t want to hear an excuse. I didn’t want to hear another lie. I couldn’t do this. Not again. It hurt too much. My heart was breaking already. Of all the people I thought would understand, I felt Victor would be there. He would be the light I was looking for.
That look told me everything though. I stormed out of the house to get to my car, but then Vick was grabbing me from behind. I screamed in hopes that he would let me go. My hands beating into his chest. He didn’t care. Why was he following me and trying to keep me from leaving?
He then told me that he was there for me. That I wouldn’t have to go through this alone. I calmed down, but I still had doubts in my mind. His initial expression had set me on guard. I knew he loved me. I could feel his hands around me and the warmth from him. His gentle kisses.
That suspicion kept eating at me. Did he really love me? Did he follow me so I wouldn’t make a scene in front of his house? Was he truly in love with me?
There were so many questions but I didn’t have the answers to them. I had no way to see if he truly loved me. I could only rely on my intuition and judge how he reacted and showed that love to me.
Standing under the flow of hot water in the shower, I washed away my worries for now. The water caressed across my cheeks to make the tears disappear. I turned off the water and stepped out to grab a towel. I ran it across my body to wipe away the beads of water that trickled across my skin.
No matter what Vick thought of me, I needed a plan. A backup plan. If he wasn’t going to be there for me, I would have to make sure that I made things right with my roommates. They had been my friends forever and they knew me better than my own parents.
I got dressed into my clothes once more and then stepped outside of the bathroom. Victor was in his living room when I came out.
“Listen, I’m sorry that I dumped this on you. I know it was a lot. I’m going to go home now. I need to try to talk to my roommates. See if we can work things out.”
Vick glanced in my direction. He rose out of his chair as he walked toward me. His arms wrapped around me to hug me close to him. “It is alright. You will be fine. I’m still here for you if need me.” He leaned his head down to kiss the top of my forehead.
I gave a weak smile to him and nodded a few times. “Thank you for letting me stay the night.” I reached into my pocket to hold my keys in my hands. Leaving Vick’s house, I saw him standing at the door as I got into my car.
My heart hoped he would be there for me, but I couldn’t depend on that. Maybe it was bad luck. I wanted to believe Vick when he said he would be there for me. Only time would tell how things would work out between us.
Driving back to my house, I considered calling a few times to see if anyone was home. I didn’t want to talk to them over the phone though. I wanted to be alone right now, but that probably wouldn’t happen.
At the front door to my house, I steeled my nerves for whatever was about to happen. I opened the door and walked inside. Todd was immediately there to hug me close.
“Richard. Where’d you go? Jason and I have been so worried about you. You can’t be out all night like this. You have to think of yourself. There are a lot of dangerous people out at night.”
I love my roommates but they can be overbearing. I pushed Todd away from me. Sitting down at the kitchen table, I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m fine. I was upset at you and Jason. He wouldn’t listen to me. I don’t want to be with David. He turned me away.”
“It’s Jason. He means well. He only wanted to protect you. You know how he gets when he is upset.”
Crossing my arms over my chest, I nodded to him. “Yeah, I know. I’m sorry I worried you. I’m tired right now though. I’m going to go to my room.”
Collapsing onto the bed, I laid on my stomach. My hand pulled out the phone from my back pocket. I flicked the screen on to see there were no new messages from Vick.
The next month passed by like normal. My roommates were being overly protective of me and showing up at my work. Vick would stop by when he could, but I was no longer able to sneak off to have our dates. I wanted to tell my roommates about him. I wasn’t sure how they would feel about me dating so soon after my break up with David.
Now I was three months into my pregnancy and I was starting to show. A small baby bump that was visible. It made me wonder if Vick would still find me attractive like this. My pants started to fit tighter and before long I had changed to wearing maternity pants. I didn’t mind it, but buying clothes when you are on a budget is expensive.
My days started to blur together. Vick visited me at work then I would be at home and had to talk to my roommates in the late evenings and mornings. They wouldn’t let me out of the house anymore which was driving me crazy. I wanted to see Vick. I would curl up at night with my pillow tucked in against my stomach. We exchanged text messages and got to talk on the phone, but it wasn’t the same.
Chapter 12
Victor
I couldn’t believe how far along that Richard was in his pregnancy. He was really starting to show. I worried about him. He stopped coming by my place like he used to do. We would meet up at the retail store where he worked. I talked to him on the phone and I would send him text messages, but he wasn’t coming over.
Had I messed up in some way? Was my own worry about the expense of a family keeping me from having true happiness? I did worry about those things. I had good health care coverage through my work, but Richard and I were not married. I couldn’t get him on my policy unless we were.
Marriage. That word seemed so foreign to me only four months prior. Was it something I wanted? I loved Richard and would do anything for him. Marriage was a big step. It would mean the two of us living together. Not only that, but a baby was on the way too. We would have to make room for the baby.
I wanted to be happy but I had worked so hard to get out of this town. Did I want to settle here? This was what I was struggling with. Stay here with Richard or move out of town? The decision was not coming easily for me either. I was wrestling with logic, reason and love.
I had to see Richard to know for certain. The answer was there. I just wanted reassurance that it was the right thing to do. I drove over to the retail store where he works behind the counter as a cashier.
Richard looked as handsome as ever when I saw him. He was behind the register, ringing up a young man. He smiled a lot at him. They were talking for quite a while before he finally left from the counter.
I grabbed a soda from the refrigerated display case and came to the counter to pay for it. Setting the bottle down, Richard rang it up for me.
“Hello Vick. How are you
doing today?”
We normally made small chat with each other, but I noticed that he was looking out the window and not directly at me. It made me curious so I turned my head to see the young man that he had been talking to earlier. He was in a car parked outside.
Is there something that I should know about? Do you know him?” I asked, pointing to the man. This must have snapped Richard out of his thought process to put his attention back on me.
“Oh, sorry Vick.” He brushed his hair back across his head with his fingers. “That is my ex-boyfriend David. He stopped in to check on me.”
Things started to click in place for me. How could I have not seen it? He was getting back together with his boyfriend after all this time. That is why he was not coming over to my place anymore.
I pulled out my wallet to drop a couple of ones onto the counter for the drink.
“I see, that explains a lot. I simply wanted to see you. I didn’t know why you weren’t coming over to my place. I see you were busy.”
Richard had a confused look on his face. “Yes, I’ve been working here Vick. My roommates have not been letting me leave the house unless they come with me.”
“Yep, busy at work too. I should get out of here so I can get my uniforms clean for tomorrow.” Turning away from the counter, I clutched the soda drink in my hand. I got into my car to head back to my place.
My mind raced with the possibilities. How long had he been seeing his ex-boyfriend again? Was he dating him or just showing up at his work place? Did his roommate force David to get back with him?
I didn’t have all of the answers. I was angry at the idea of him cheating on me. I didn’t know for sure. I’m not the type of person to cause a scene in public.
Back at my house, I pulled out my cell phone. I held it in my hands as I considered calling him or sending a text message. I thought about calling first but I felt like I would be too mad to speak normally. I might get into an argument and make him upset. Opening the text message, I started to type a few words onto the screen. “Are you seeing David?”
I stared at the message. It is what I really wanted to know. My finger hovered over the button. I wanted to send it. I couldn’t bring myself to hit send though. I was still in love with him. If he responded back with yes, then my world would be flipped upside down.
I threw the phone over onto the couch, rubbing my hands over my face. How could this have happened? Was I too quick to jump into things? I could have backed away. Went back home after that lunch date and never saw him again.
The idea of seeing Richard with David made me jealous. I wanted him to be happy though. What did he want though? Did he want me in his life? I needed time to cool off. I grabbed my exercise bag from my bedroom and went to the gym. I left my cell phone behind because I didn’t want to answer it.
Running on the treadmill got my heart beat racing. My eyes focused forward, staring at the television screen. The closed captions were on and I read through the news stories. Whenever I pulled my attention away from the screen, I would find myself thinking about Richard.
He deserved to have someone in his life that would take care of him. Was it me? I would have preferred that. If it wasn’t me, it would need to be his roommates or David.
Perhaps I was too close to the whole situation to give an objective view on it. I needed to step back from the whole ordeal to get a clear head. I would give Richard his space for now and when the time was right, I would come back and talk to him.
My hope was that he would talk to his roommates about me before we met. If he still wanted me. I had my doubts, but I would back off for now. It was for my own benefit as well as Richard’s. This would give me time to put some money back and work on what I would say to him.
Chapter 13
Richard
David started visiting me at my work place for some reason. I had not spoken to him since I told him that I was pregnant over four months ago. He came in and was being really nice to me and sweet. He even stopped by to give me flowers. I’m not sure if he was trying to win me back or was putting on a show. I suspected that Jason had talked to him and he was only being nice because of it.
I thought it was sweet of him to visit me every day at work, but it was getting old. He asked me at one point if I would go out with him again, but I was already in a new relationship with Victor.
The events when I told him I was pregnant played over in my head when he told me he wanted to go out with me. It made me angry he was even showing up at my work.
I brought it up with Jason who only smiled at me. He said he didn’t have anything to do with David showing up. I didn’t believe him though. He suddenly shows up months later and wanted to start seeing me again. The way Jason smiled too. It seemed like he was keeping a secret.
I didn’t feel like arguing with him about it. I played nice and would greet David when he came into the store. I would smile and listen to his stories because my boss got mad when I tried to be mean to him or was short in my exchanges.
It had to be on a day when David stopped by my work that Vick showed up. Normally he calls or sends me a text message before he comes to the store, so I was surprised to see him.
I had to have this awkward conversation with David and smile at him the whole time while I rang up his items. He was being very pleasant and nice to me. It was way nicer than when we were dating, which made me suspicious.
Upon reaching the counter, I rang up Vick’s soda. He had pointed out the window to where David was and asked about him. I answered truthfully. I wanted him to know who he was in case he caused any trouble. That was what I feared.
David merely sat in his car and stared through the store window while I talked to Victor. I thought he might come back into the store. Victor seemed upset, but I didn’t have time to talk to him about it. He left the store before I could say anything.
On top of dealing with David, I had to sign up for insurance at work to get coverage for myself and for my baby when they eventually came into the world. I was trying to cover it myself with my wages, but it was proving to be too much. I had gone through my savings. I was lucky that the open enrollment for benefits came along. I signed up for it as soon as I could because I was having more doctor appointments scheduled.
I considered whether I wanted to know the gender of the baby. I decided I didn’t want to know. I would leave it as a surprise. My hand caressed across my rounded stomach as I looked out the window. David had pulled out from the parking lot and left. I’m not sure I could deal with him coming around like this. I would need to have a serious discussion with him or Jason. What good would it do to have a man in my life that was willing to give up when things got tough?
When my shift ended, I tried to call Victor back, but it went straight to his voice mail. I apologized that I was not able to talk to him for long that afternoon and requested for him to call me back.
On my drive home, I started to think about Jason. He couldn’t leave it alone between David and me. I’m certain that it was the only reason he was showing up at work.
Once home, I found Jason in the house. He was in front of the television when I came in. He watched old westerns when Todd was not around. I sat on the couch with the middle cushion between us empty.
“Jason, why did you talk to David? He has been coming into my work every day and saying he wants to go out with me again. I have politely told him not to come around, but he still comes in.”
Jason grabbed the remote, clicking the volume down on the television. He turned to me and didn’t have a happy look on his face.
“I don’t know what you are talking about Richard. He obviously feels bad about breaking up with you and wants to do the right thing. He wants to support you and the baby. That is a good thing.”
After a deep inhale, I shook my head. “Jason, he didn’t take responsibility when I told him about the pregnancy. Now all of a sudden, he wants to do the right thing? You talked to him. I know you did. Would you stop interfering with my li
fe? Tell David he can stop trying because I don’t want to see him.”
Jason stood up and threw the remote onto the couch. “He can be a good father. You don’t see it yet. I don’t want your baby growing up without a father! He needs that in his life. You should take him back Richard!”
This was typical of my roommates. They were always controlling my life. I wanted to get out of their house. They had a rule that as long as you lived under their roof, then you had to abide by their rules. That included them deciding what was best for you. I was tired of it and fed up.
“You don’t know what is best for me Jason. I don’t want David. I can see what I did was a mistake, but don’t force him on me because it is what you want! Tell him to leave me alone!”
With that said, I stormed out of the living room. I headed straight to my bedroom and closed the door behind me. I didn’t have the extra money to spend on gas for my car. I had to stay here but it didn’t mean I had to listen to him.
Jason came to the door and knocked on it. I could hear his rough voice through the course wood of the door. “Richard, open the door. Let’s talk about this.”
I was done talking about David. Jason would have to come to terms that I didn’t want him. I yelled back at the door. “Go away!”
Rolling over on the bed, I clutched a pillow to my chest. I hated fighting with my roommates. It never felt good and it always ended up with us yelling at each other. My roommates would win a lot of arguments. There were only a few times that they gave in and let me win.
My eyes looked toward the door. Jason knew better than to open the door as I had fussed at him many times before about respecting my privacy. I had the sensation that he was on the other side, waiting for me to say something. I rolled over to put my back toward the door.
I was upset and wanted to talk to Vick. My hand fumbled into my pocket to pull out my cell phone. There were no new messages from Victor. I pulled up his phone number and hit send. The phone rang several times before it went straight to voicemail.