by S. E. Law
The little entryway smells stuffy and everything is dusty, but otherwise it seems as cozy as ever.
I pass through the mudroom into the living room and pick up the landline. There’s no cell service this far out in the mountains, but even still, I always feel a little silly using the old dial-up. I call my mom.
“Hi Mom. I just got here.”
“Everything seem okay?”
“Yep. It’s dusty, but good to go. I was just about to unload everything.”
“Okay sweetie. Look, I’ll give you your space, but I want you to call me whenever you feel like it.”
“Of course, I will, I promise.”
“Thank you. Oh, and Cora?”
“Yeah, Mom?”
“Try to use this time to heal. Just focus on your happiness, however that might look.”
“Thanks, Mom. I’ll do my best.”
We hang up our respective phones and I prop the heavy door open with its wedge.
Slowly, I unload the car. I have way too many groceries for two weeks, my duffel bag, and my various novels. It takes a few trips, but eventually, I’m standing in the quaint little cabin surrounded by food and books and clothes.
I take a moment to look around the little structure. The cabin is sweetly decorated, thanks to my mom. While nothing matches perfectly, plaid is the unifying design. The living room is full of cozy couches and chairs, lots of blankets, and rustic décor. Lamps serve as the main source of light and several thick carpets are scattered around the room.
I grab some grocery bags and head into the kitchen. Like the living room, this space is all about being comfortable and practical. The counters are granite and there are two deep sinks. Perfect for cooking and water gun wars.
I smile as I think back to my wild childhood summers here. For several weeks each year, my parents would gather me and all my cousins for a vacation in the woods. And for those few weeks, we enjoyed ourselves to ours little hearts’ content: ice-cream every night, staying up way past bedtime to play hide and seek in the dark, grilling out for every meal. It was the perfect way to grow up, and I wanted my kids with Marky to have those same experiences.
Ouch.
Of all the things that seem to be hurting me most, it’s the fact that I really want kids. I think Marky and I would have been good, fun parents, and I was eager to start a family as soon as we could.
Now, standing in the empty cabin where I imagined our kids playing, it hits me that my relationship is over and there’s not a chance of anything returning to normal.
I sigh deeply and spend the next several minutes putting away the groceries, trying to take my mind off the pain of the last few days.
I went a little crazy on the food front, but I like to eat and since no one is around to judge me, I opted for comfort and ease more than anything. Bags of chips, pasta, several pints of ice cream, and Mac ‘n’ Cheese topped my list. But I remembered that we have a grill here at the cabin and so I also purchased hotdogs, burgers, and fresh veggies to cook on it.
I place the few bottles of wine on the counter and head back to the living room, content with the spoils of my grocery trip.
I grab the heavy duffel bag and head upstairs to the main bedroom to unpack my few clothes. I decide to take over the master room, if only because the bed is nicer. The bedroom, like the rest of the cabin, is cozy. The queen size bed is soft and the adjacent bathroom has a large tub.
Bubble bath and wine and a book tonight, I muse as I grab sheets from the closet to make up the bed. As I put the clean linen on the bed, I find myself once again thinking about my relationship with Marky.
In a lot of ways, our relationship was a happy one. We laughed a lot and always seemed to enjoy each other’s company. But in so many ways, the big moments always felt strained. Like if I wanted to celebrate an anniversary or insisted on a night out, he almost always seemed to want to avoid kissing or any overt affection.
Huh, I pause mid-bed making.
I’d always attributed Marky’s physical reluctance to shyness, but now, as I stuff another pillow into its respective pillowcase, it occurs to me that it was probably because Marky was uncomfortable with physical affection with any woman period, and not just me.
It’s the first really comforting thought I’ve had since we broke up. It means that Marky’s lack of desire to be intimate with me was about him. Smiling a little at the realization, I finish making the bed and step back to admire my work.
Just as quickly, my smile fades.
He wasn’t always so distant, I realize sadly. Marky and I had a lot of deeply loving moments, but it makes me feel foolish to look back on them now. I should have known something was off, I scold myself. I guess I just wanted the pretty ring and sexy husband.
“This is not a helpful line of thinking, Cora. Stop.” My own voice sounds loud in the empty cabin. I repeat myself, louder this time. “Not helpful, Cora! Stop it!”
Feeling somewhat better now that the bed is made, I make my way downstairs to find another distraction.
A little bit later, I’m finally settled in for my mini escape from life. I snuggle onto the couch, a glass of wine in one hand and my newest book in the other.
But try as I might, I can’t focus on my novel.
Outside, it’s growing darker and the evening birds are twittering away, oblivious to my tormented mood.
Sighing, I toss the book to the side and pick up my phone.
Should I call Marky? Let him know where I am?
“No, Cora. That’s not the point of all of this.” My voice echoes ever so slightly in the empty cabin.
Feeling lonely, I get off the couch and start turning on various lamps to warm the room. Well while I’m up…
I head to the kitchen and grab a snack. I still haven’t made any dinner, but I’m too drained to care. I bring the chips, some cheese slices, and deli turkey back to my spot on the couch and snuggle in to call Hadley on the old landline.
After a few rings, she finally answers.
“Oh my gosh, hi! Where have you been? Your mom called me earlier and told me that I needed to look after the store for two weeks or so but she said you’d call and tell me more later and it’s so much later I can’t believe you’re just now calling me! Where are you? The cabin number is showing up, not your cell.”
I laugh half-heartedly at Hadley’s dizzying tirade.
“Sorry, Hads,” I offer meekly. “I meant to call earlier but I was just trying to settle in.”
“Settle in? Where are you? Are you at the cabin? Are you okay?” I can hear the panic in my best friend’s voice.
“Yes, yeah, sorry, I’m fine. And yes, I’m up at the cabin. And yes, I was wondering if you could take care of the store for the next week or maybe even two?”
“Oooh, the cabin? Is it a romantic getaway with your fiancé?” Hadley squeals.
I wince. I have to tell her. Taking a deep breath, I share my embarrassing news. “Hadley, Marky and I…. we broke up.”
“What? No! Why? What happened?”
I don’t want to talk about it, but I have to let my friend know the truth. Well, most of it. I decide it’s Marky’s decision to let other people know about his sexual orientation, but I can give Hadley a half-truth.
“It’s complicated, and a little too personal. But um, let’s just say that Marky realized he’s not really in love with me and honestly, it’s all for the best.”
“Cora, I am so sorry. I don’t know what to say. I thought for sure you two had a storybook romance.” Hadley sighs on the other end of the line. “I was so happy for you. I can’t believe you’re going through this.”
I’m touched by Hadley’s compassion. Sometimes she’s a little bit ditzy, but my best friend is always sincere and her words mean a lot to me.
Besides, we both love Happily Ever Afters, and are disappointed when they don’t happen. Like me, Hadley has a passion for romance and when I first told her I was dating my former high school crush, she was nothing but supportive
. Never once did she tell me I was out of my league or that it wasn’t going to last.
No, I smile as I think about, Hadley was our biggest cheerleader.
“Honestly Hads? I’m just glad Marky and I ended things sooner rather than later. I mean, I do wish it had been before we announced our engagement to all of our family and friends, but better now than later.” I attempt to laugh, but the sound falls flat.
“Do you want me to come up to the cabin? I don’t mind.” I can hear the concern in her voice.
“No, that’s sweet, but I just want to take some time away from everything. Be alone.”
“Yeah, of course.”
“But can you watch the store for a couple of weeks? So I can just focus on myself right now?”
“Absolutely. And your mom mentioned that she has some instructions from you about the visiting author next month. I’ll take care of it.”
“Thanks, Hadley. I really appreciate it.”
“No problem.” Hadley pauses and I can tell she’s bursting with questions. Before I can make an excuse to get off the phone, Hadley goes into full gossip mode. “But did Marky tell you why? This is all so mysterious, and it’s so unfair to you.”
I tune out Hadley’s slew of questions, knowing that she’s practically talking to herself as she asks them. I look out the living room window. Wow, it got dark fast.
“And did you know that busty redhead at the party is Marky’s friend from college? I bet that’s who he’s been seeing.”
“Hmmm?” I respond absently.
“But also, I think it’s weird how late he was to the party the other night, you know? Like where was he? Oh and did you know that…”
Outside, the wind has started to pick up, rocking the tall trees nearby. Within seconds, it starts pelting rain.
“Hey Hads, it looks like there’s a storm brewing up here, so I may lose connection.”
“Okay no worries. But then when I did see him the other week…” Hadley prattles on.
Outside, there’s a sudden burst of lightning followed by a loud roar of thunder. In that instance, the rain seems more like a river busted loose than actual rainfall. The trees sway harder against the gusty wind.
Suddenly, I no longer hear Hadley’s incessant chatter.
“Hello? Hey, Hadley?”
The line went dead.
As if in response to my thought, lightning cracks again followed closely by a boom of thunder, louder and closer than before. I shriek, scared by the loudness of the world outside.
In an effort to comfort myself, I get up and quickly lock all the doors and windows, as if this would help in the battle Mother Nature is raging outside.
I stand next to one of the living room windows and peek outside, trying to gage the severity of the storm. With another solid crackle, lightning strikes a third time and suddenly, I’m engulfed in complete darkness.
6
Matt
I’m on my third cup of coffee this morning when I finally decide that I need to take some kind of action or I’ll lose my damn mind.
The night of his engagement party, Marky showed at my house late, drunk, and blubbering. Like any good parent, I’d helped my son to the couch, but I’d also been completely shocked by his puffy eyes and red face. Had he been crying? There were some hickies on his neck, so maybe he’d been making out with Cora.
Oh shit. Cora. The hottest thing I’ve ever seen and also my soon-to-be daughter-in-law.
But all that went down the crapper within a few hours because that very next morning, over bacon and hash browns, Marky told me everything: that he’s gay, he and Cora broke up, and that the wedding is off.
That was three nights ago.
I sip my coffee, wincing at its heat. I set the steaming cup down on the counter, determined not to let my lack of focus cause the hot beverage to injure me. I cross my arms and stare out the kitchen window, dwelling on this new information.
On the one hand, I’ve suspected for years now that my son is gay, and his sexual orientation really doesn’t bother me. But what does bother me is that he didn’t feel like he could tell me for all these years.
I shake my head, sad for Marky having to go through all of that alone.
But then my thoughts switch to Cora, and everything Marky just put her through.
Honestly, I confess to myself, I am disappointed in him, too.
Not with the fact that my son prefers the company of men. No, but with the fact that he should have said something to Cora well before now.
Or at least before I dropped thousands of dollars on that engagement dinner.
I sip the scorching hot coffee again and wince. Dammit that’s too hot. I sigh, and decide to let myself sift through the hard truths about the whole mess.
It’s not about the money, not even a little. I’m a wealthy man – I could host dinners like that every week and still be comfortable. Plus, I was happy to pay for the party, especially since it meant so much to bring everyone together to celebrate the lovebirds.
No, what I’m upset about how I had to watch Cora experience such misery at the dinner and all because Marky wasn’t honest with her or himself.
I sigh. It’s not the kid’s fault, I acknowledge. I know in my heart that Marky is a good man, and I’m proud to have him as a son.
I’m just not proud of how he handled things with Cora. And I’m definitely not happy that I’m the one who is left to clean up the damn mess.
But Marky had been a wreck that night. He felt and still feels horrible about the whole situation, and making him deal with all the details of canceling the wedding seems cruel.
Also, I admit to myself, I wouldn’t mind seeing Cora.
I shake my head at the thought. I’ve always liked Cora and I tried to attribute my feelings to the fact that she is sweet and made Marky happy. But as I got to know her more and more, that initial like shifted into something more.
She’s a beautiful woman, and a real catch, I acknowledge. There’s no harm in admitting that.
I look at my watch and am surprised to see it’s well after 2 p.m. I dial Cora’s number, with the intention of talking to her about cancellation plans. But really, I just want to hear her voice.
Her cell goes straight to voicemail, and I toss my phone onto the counter, frustrated.
Dammit, why won’t she answer her phone?
It occurs to me Cora might not be alright. Do her parents know about her and Marky? What if she didn’t tell them?
Suddenly worried, I pick up my cell phone again and find the number for Cora’s mom, Marcia. I call it and wait while the mobile rings and rings.
Does no one answer their goddamn phones in that house?
To my relief, Marcia finally picks up after the fifth ring.
“Hi Matthew, sorry. I was making lunch and my hands were covered in tomato juice.”
“Hey Marcia, thanks for answering. Look, this is all a little awkward…” I begin, unsure how to proceed since I don’t know how much Marcia might know about Cora and Marky’s situation.
“Don’t worry, Matt. Cora told me, well, everything.” I don’t hear any judgment in her voice, and I sigh with relief.
“Honestly, Marcia. Let me just start by saying that I’m sorry for everything your family is going through.”
“I appreciate it, Matt.”
“Marky, well, he could have handled the whole thing a lot better than he did, but he never meant to hurt Cora. My son’s not like that.”
“I know, and more importantly, my daughter knows that too. It’s all too bad because Marky is a sweet boy. We were certainly looking forward to having you and Marky join the family, but we’re happy he’s found his own path.”
“That’s kind to say, Marcia.” I pause, unsure what to say next. “Look, I don’t want to make a strange situation any stranger, but I’ve been trying to reach Cora and she isn’t answering. Is she okay?”
Marcia seems to hesitate, but then finally answers.
“She’s as oka
y as you could expect her to be. It was quite the bombshell.”
“Well, the reason I’ve been trying to reach her is going to sound crass, but I’m afraid it’s falling to me to do this.” I take a deep breath and proceed, “I need the engagement ring back. And as soon as possible.”
“Oh, I see.” Marcia sounds uncertain.
“It’s a family heirloom, Marcia, and – again, not trying to sound crass – but it’s an extremely valuable antique.”
“No, of course I completely understand, Matt. Marky shared its important family history with us.” She clears her throat. “It’s just that, the thing is, Cora isn’t home.”
“Oh well, I can just come by later today. It’s no trouble.”
“No, I mean she’s out of town and I think she has the ring still with her.”
I’m surprised. Where did Cora go?
“When will she back?”
“In a couple of weeks.”
“Weeks?” Now I’m alarmed. “Look, Marcia. I know that Cora needs her space right now, but I really need that ring back. What if she gets mad and throws it into a lake or something?”
Marcia lets out a dry laugh.
“My daughter is not going to throw the ring in a lake or flush it down a toilet. She’s a thoughtful, good kid whose whole world just got turned upside down by your son.”
Treading lightly, I try to convey my urgency while also trying to calm Marcia down.
“I’m sorry. I know that it’s a nightmare situation. But that’s exactly why I need to get the ring back. Cora is upset, and people act out in times like these.”
Over the faint static of the phone line, I can hear Marcia sigh deeply.
“I understand. I really don’t think my daughter would do anything rash with your family heirloom, but I do understand how important it is to your family.” She pauses again and finally tells me. “I convinced Cora to go up to our family cabin for a little while. She really just needs to clear her head and have some space away from everything that’s just happened. She left this morning.”
The cabin. I stopped by once, when I dropped off Marky a year or so ago.