by S. E. Law
I don’t know if he likes me or not, I think as I run my finger along the edge of the book pages. Well, he likes me as the almost daughter-in-law he’ll never have…
“What’s going on in that brain of yours?”
I look up, startled from my daydreaming by Matt’s interruption.
“Oh, nothing much.” I hold up my book and wave it at him. “I don’t seem to be able to focus too well.”
“Agreed.” Matt snaps his book closed and springs to his feet. “Maybe we should find something else to occupy our time.” He raises one eyebrow at me in a teasing manner, and again I’m confused by his flirtatiousness.
“Okay.” I clamber to my own feet. “We have a chest full of games and stuff. We can see what’s in there.”
“Lead the way.” Matt bows and gestures gallantly for me to cross in front of him.
“To the hallway closet!” We scramble like children, each of us trying to beat the other to the chest of games.
Breathlessly, we arrive at the little closet at the same time and playfully push each other out of the way.
“Fine, fine. I cede. Besides, I don’t know where the games are stored exactly.” Matt steps away from the doorframe so I can locate the games. Candyland, Monopoly, oh cool! A puzzle.
“Hey how do you feel about puzzles?” I call out to Matt, my voice muffled by the full closet.
“What?” Matt leans his head into the closet so that our faces are mere inches apart. He’s so handsome with those piercing blue eyes, sculpted features, and mobile mouth which can be at turns generous or commanding.
I swallow, hard. I don’t have any space to scoot away from him so I have to control the overwhelming urge to kiss him.
“A puzzle?” I ask, hoping my voice comes out okay.
“Love them.”
“Great.”
“Great.” Matt grins that devilish grin, and I feel my insides turn to mush. He’s way too attractive.
“Here.” Matt reaches for the puzzle and our hands brush. It’s as clichéd as it comes, but I swear I feel my heart skip a beat the touch.
“Thanks,” I manage to choke out.
Matt backs out of the closet and I follow behind him. Taking a steadying breath, I close the closet and head back into the living room. Matt is standing still in the middle of the room, surveying the space.
“I’m not really sure where we could do a puzzle in here.”
He’s right. That first day after the fire, we’d each done our best to clean up what damage we could, including tossing the burnt chair and scrubbing the floor and carpet. But the entire area in front of the fireplace needs a deep cleaning, which is out of the question since we’re still stuck on the mountain.
“Kitchen table?” I shrug.
“That’ll work.”
We head into the kitchen and work together to clean off the table to make room for the puzzle.
“I think I’m going to have some wine. Do you want some?”
Matt winces.
“What?” I ask, feeling slightly defensive.
“Don’t take this the wrong way but do you have something besides pink wine?”
I giggle profusely. “You seemed to like the rosé okay yesterday!” I tease him.
Matt holds up his hands in defense. “I know, I know. But there’s only so much pink wine a man can consume before he feels his manliness start to disappear…”
“I highly doubt that you will ever lose any of your manliness.”
“Oh is that so? You think I’m manly?” A gleam comes into the alpha male’s eyes and I can’t help but blush at my boldness.
But the truth is yes, I think Matt’s manly. Standing in the kitchen, he’s all broad shoulders and smolder in his fitted red flannel shirt, and I can’t help but be attracted to him.
“Fine, I’m sure we have something besides wine around here.” I try to change the subject from Matt’s maleness. “My dad likes whiskey, there might be some in the – aha!” I pull a handle of whiskey out of the kitchen pantry. “Will this do?” I hand the nearly full bottle to Matt.
“That’ll do just fine.” He grins widely at me. “Ever had whiskey?”
I shake my head. “That’s a firm no.”
“You should try it. Never know what you like until you try it.”
Matt is talking about the beverage, but there’s almost another meaning behind his suggestion. Is he saying I should… I shake my head again. No, stop with all of these romantic ideas about your father-in-law.
“Maybe later. I think I’ll stick to my girly pink wine for now.” I stick out my tongue playfully and Matt howls.
“Suit yourself. It just leaves more for me.” With a wink, he pours himself a drink and we both settle into our respective chairs at the kitchen table.
We slip into an easy silence while we start to organize the puzzle pieces across the table.
“Okay, so do you cheat and look at the picture on the box while you go or do you try to build from memory?” I ask Matt.
“Cheat? First things first young lady,” Matt’s tone is teasing and I grin back at him.
“Sir?” I taunt back.
“It’s not cheating to look at the image. I mean, as a renowned architect I think I would know. There’s a reason we make plans and outlines.” He smirks and I can’t help but laugh.
“True, very good point,” I quip.
“That being said, the best architects know their material inside out, so no, there won’t be any cheating here.” With a wink, Matt takes the box lid with the puzzle picture, looks at it quickly, and then places it face down so neither of us can look at it.
“Hey, you may be a renowned architect but I’m just a lowly bookstore owner. I need the picture!” I reach for the box lid, but Matt playfully swats at my hand and then holds it between his two hands.
“No way.” Matt continues to hold my hand. “I’m going to teach you my ways.” To my disappointment, Matt lets go of my hand and leans back in his chair, putting more space than I want between us.
“Okay, will do,” I say teasingly, and lean back in my own chair, trying to mimic his easy coolness.
“I know you’re picking on me but get ready to be wowed.”
I roll my eyes playfully but decide to pay attention. It’s not that I’m interested in learning how to get good at puzzle, but rather that I can’t help but pay attention to Matt.
With his stunningly good looks, the man dominates the tiny kitchen. But beyond his physical appearance, over the last few days I’ve started to fall for Matt’s charming demeanor, kind personality, and good-humored manners.
And despite the fact that the storm has raged for days and that my cabin was almost burned to a crisp, the reality is that since Matt showed up like a white knight, I have never felt so at ease with a man. Not even Marky was this great to be with.
So if he wants to teach me how to ‘properly’ complete a puzzle, I lift an eyebrow as I think, then so be it.
“What are you raising your eyebrows about over there?” I look up to see Matt’s intense blue eyes gleaming into mine.
“Oh, nothing, it’s nothing.” I mutter.
“Doesn’t seem like nothing.”
“It’s… complicated?” At least, I think it’s complicated.
“No pressure then. So,” Matt changes the subject and I’m grateful for his perceptiveness, “to start building a puzzle without – what was the word, cheating? – it’s best to pull out all the edge pieces. From there, organize by similar color if you can.”
“Okay, sure. That sounds easy enough.” I start pulling out the edge pieces. “And if you must know, I was thinking about Marky,” I blurt out.
Matt continues to organize the puzzle pieces alongside me, not looking up. “Oh?”
“Yes.”
“What about him?”
“Just that everything with him always felt so complicated. Like I always felt like I was reading too much into certain situations or conversations, and I guess now, looking ba
ck on it, I wasn’t. Because obviously we were completely wrong for each other, and I feel dumb for not knowing sooner.”
Matt stops organizing the puzzle pieces, but still doesn’t look up. He resumes the task when he starts to speak.
“You know, when Marky was a kid, maybe four or five, I made him a wooden rocking horse. The kind that sits on little wooden sliders. Anyway, one day Marky tells me not too long after I’d given him the horse that he wants a bike. Now at the time, I was just getting started with my business, so money was tight. We couldn’t afford a bike.”
Matt settles into his chair more and continues.
“So I tell him no, he can’t get a bike. And I’ll be damned if that very afternoon I didn’t come home from work and Marky had the rocking horse off of its rockers and tried to glue wheels from a toy truck onto it.” Matt starts laughing. “I walk in and see this tiny kid covered in glue and bits of sawdust and the saddest expression.”
I smile with compassion.
“That sounds like Marky, always tinkering and getting into mischief.” My voice must be sad because Matt looks up quickly and his face falls upon seeing mine.
“Hey, I’m sorry Cora. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just thought a story about Marky in another light might make you feel less angry at him.”
“No, it’s okay, really. The whole situation with him is more weird than anything.”
“That’s an understatement.” Matt squeezes my hand gently and we both go back to busying ourselves with sorting the puzzle pieces.
“I’m not exactly angry at him. Well, I was. But I think now I’m just confused.”
My handsome companion raises his eyebrows.
“That seems like a totally fair reaction.”
I smile at Matt, grateful that despite him being Marky’s dad, he can appreciate that I’m going through a range of emotions.
Except I’m not confused about Marky, I acknowledge to myself. I’m confused about why I find Matt to be so handsome and intriguing and tempting…
Okay let’s not go down this line of thinking, Cora. Find a new subject.
“Not to be rude…” I venture, eager to talk about anything aside from my feelings for Matt.
“Come on, Cora. We’re way past formalities. You’ve seen me in a hot pink bathrobe.” Matt smiles and I immediately feel at ease again.
I grin at the memory of that first morning.
“True. Well, I just thought that your family was really rich? Like your parents and grandparents and everyone. But you said you couldn’t afford a bike.”
“Oh for sure, the Harrisons are too rich for our own good. But at the time, my parents had actually cut me off. They weren’t too happy about the whole getting a girl pregnant situation.” Matt shrugs. “They eventually came around, and I think mostly because of Marky. It’s sometimes hard, I think, when you have money, because you start to care too much what people think of you.”
I nod thoughtfully. “I can see that.”
“They were also the ones who made me marry Marky’s mom, Angelica.”
I sit up a little, curious to hear about the former Mrs. Harrison from Matt. Marky would mention his mom from time to time, but always lighthearted stuff.
Am I nosy or jealous? I try to make my voice as casual as possible, “You didn’t want to marry Angelica?”
“Yes and no. I wanted to mostly for Marky’s sake, but it was a tough marriage. We divorced about ten years ago, and I wish we’d done it a lot sooner. We were just too young when we got married, and we quickly grew apart.”
I nod thoughtfully, trying to understand Matt’s experience and how that probably impacted Marky.
“I’m sorry. It must have been really difficult.”
He shrugs, not looking me in the eye.
“It’s fine. It’s been ten years now. Angelica and I had some good times, but we’re both much better off apart. I’m glad she and Marky are still close.”
For the next several minutes, we go back to working on the puzzle, each of us lost in our own thoughts.
I wonder if I should ask him… ? I take a steadying breath and speak.
“Did you know?” I ask in a whoosh. Matt looks up at me inquisitively, and I take another deep breath. “About Marky I mean. That he’s gay?” I fidget with puzzle piece in my hand, waiting.
Finally, after what feels like forever, Matt begins to speak again, his expression troubled.
“I think I suspected, but I was never completely sure. And I never wanted to put that kind of pressure on him to feel like he had to tell me.”
“Why did you think he’s gay?”
“Well, when Marky was a teenager, he used to get really awkward around older boys. Like some of the older guys on the football team. Or even some of the young college guys who were interning at my office over different summers. Marky would get shy and quiet, and I guess I always chalked it up to the awkwardness of adolescence. But then around girls, he was great, easygoing, and absolutely not bashful whatsoever. But because he never said anything, I never wanted to pressure him.”
“That would be hard to know, especially if he didn’t express how he felt.”
Matt sighs.
“Honestly? I wish he felt like he could have told me, or maybe he tried, and I never noticed. And now, looking back on some of those moments, I should have known. He must have had crushes on those guys, and he needed someone to talk to. Maybe I was just trying to deny it, but I think he never felt comfortable coming to me.”
I nod, understanding Matt’s perspective.
“It’s okay because I think I was in denial, too.”
“What do you mean?” Matt’s expression is curious, and I know I have to share the whole truth.
“I think I may have known, or at least strongly suspected, that Marky is gay for a while now.” I inhale deeply before I continue. “About a month ago, I was on Marky’s computer because I was going to find old photos of him for the slideshow. You know, the one I was thinking to make for the engagement party?” Matt nods, listening intently.
I continue. “Well, I found photos, but not the ones I was looking for. I found photos of a bunch of nude men, and at first I thought they were for an art class he’s taking. But then, there were some that were obviously screenshots from a dating app, and some of the photos were getting graphic too. Nothing that an art model would ever do. It was shocking, and I guess it just reaffirmed that I wasn’t totally crazy for thinking something was off in our relationship.”
Matt grimaces and takes my hands between both of his. His grip is warm and strong, and I can’t help but wonder how it would feel to have him hold my whole body like that.
“Cora, I am so, so sorry that you are going through all of this. I know that Marky loved you deeply, and for what it’s worth, I’m sorry too. My son never should have put you in this situation.” Matt looks so forlorn that I can’t help but touched by his intense apology.
“Matt, no, it’s okay.” I scoot my chair closer to his, so our legs underneath the table are practically touching. He’s still gripping my hands firmly. “There’s no need to apologize. Honestly, Marky is who he is, and I can only wish him the best at this point. It’s not like he meant to hurt me or was ever cruel. He was just confused.”
Matt drops my hands suddenly and looks at me with renewed intensity, his vibrant blue eyes searching mine. “You’re not upset then? About ending the engagement?”
I shake my head wryly. “I wish we could have avoided an engagement, and especially announcing it to everyone in our families, but aside from that, I’m actually pretty relieved.”
“Relieved?” Matt repeats, one black eyebrow raised.
“Well, yeah. Both Marky and I are better off this way. I dodged a bullet, in a way. Think about it –” I shake my head again, imagining the ‘what if’ – “If Marky and I had gotten married, imagine how miserable we both would have been. Him because he’s in love with a man, and me because I would always feel like I wasn’t enough for him.”
“That’s true,” Matt offers hesitantly.
“And then what if we’d had kids and then ended up getting a divorce. Everyone would have been upset and confused.” I sigh deeply, feeling truly relieved for the first time since that hard conversation in front of Frankie’s just a week ago. “No, I really hold no grudge against Marky, and I wish him nothing but the best.”
I smile at Matt while he continues to look at me strangely.
“Matt?”
To my complete astonishment, Matt yanks me to my feet and cups my face between his two hands and pulls me close to his body.
“Cora, you are the most loving, forgiving woman I have ever known. You are mature, passionate, and kind. And I have been wanting to do this since the moment I met you.”
With that impassioned speech, Matt continues to hold my face while he leans down and kisses me, deeply. My body leans hard against his masculine figure, and I melt into the kiss.
It’s electrifying, being kissed by Matt Harrison. Part of me wonders if we shouldn’t, and if we should stop before the situation gets out of hand. But being held in this strong and sexy man’s arms, I find myself caving in. I lean into Matt even more, and surrender myself to the kiss – and to whatever may come next.
14
Matt
Finally holding Cora so tightly in my arms feels surreal. I kiss her, with every ounce of longing in my heart. I want this woman, because she’s sexy and beautiful, yes, but also because she’s kind and fair and generous. Her generosity to my son is astonishing, and my heart pounds with gratitude and something more … love.
I didn’t mean to start kissing Cora, but now, in this perfect moment surrounded by charred furniture, ash-stained walls, and puzzle pieces, I’m happy.
Finally, after several moments, I pull back from Cora and stare at her, panting. Neither one of us speaks but we stand dangerously close, weighing what to do next.
I’m the first to break the silence.
“I had to kiss you.”
“I know.” Cora sounds just as breathless as I feel, and it makes my whole body long for her. I feel my pants tighten as I imagine what it would feel like to kiss her again.