“Details?” His lips brushed hers, light and toying, and infinitely arousing. “I’d say I think we should agree to stop seeing other people and make us exclusive. But since that’s not something we need to worry about, how about we stop pretending that we only get together for my dog therapy? How about we admit that we’re willing to make an exception to our no-relationships rules for each other?”
Ian’s eyes were hopeful, but his voice told Kelsey that he wasn’t as sure of her response as he’d like to be.
So she reached up and kissed him, a solid, affirming kiss to let him know that his proposition was more than agreeable. That she was happy, and the quickness of her heartbeat when she was with him wasn’t as scary as it had been a day ago. It was more than finally feeling the ground between them settle. It was knowing he wanted her as much as she wanted him.
Ian tucked her closer against his body. “So that’s a yes?”
“Obviously. Now shut up and kiss me again.”
He did, and a lot else too.
24
KELSEY SUPPOSED DATING was her new official word. She was dating Ian, even though when they’d had dinner together or hung out and watched movies over the past week, it hadn’t felt like dates. Dates were awkward and dull, and they required effort. Spending time with Ian was fun and mostly effortless.
Mostly because she was trying to make him watch all her Jane Austen adaptions and he was trying to spark a love of mindless action movies in her.
But since they were officially together for more reasons than her dogs, Kelsey had convinced Ian to take the weekend off and go with her on her former girls-only trip. The timing was perfect, and until recently, Kelsey hadn’t thought much about her once-beloved vacation. In the end, she figured she probably would have asked Ian to go with her regardless of their status so she didn’t have to be the odd woman out. With them being an official couple, though, plenty of awkward explanations about the state of their relationship had been avoided.
As a bonus, she got to unabashedly dote on him. Official couple-hood had freed her up to spread some of the attention she normally reserved for her dogs onto a human for the first time in years, and she was a little out of practice. Kelsey used every opportunity to kiss Ian, but she frequently also found herself rubbing him or ruffling his hair.
“You’re petting me like I’m one of your dogs,” Ian had pointed out once, and he wasn’t wrong. Luckily, he seemed to enjoy the affection, and had taken to doing it back to her in what had started as revenge and often turned into foreplay.
Or he had when they weren’t in public. Emily’s parents’ cabin had only two rooms, and with four couples squeezed inside, the only moment of privacy available was in the bathroom. And there had almost always been a line for that. By Sunday morning, Kelsey had been eager to hit the road and return to Helen, and not just because she missed her private time with Ian.
“It’s pretty, and the air smells great,” Ian said as they loaded their bags into the back of Kelsey’s SUV. “But it’s still serial killer territory out here.”
“And yet you didn’t get murdered.”
“No. True.” He rubbed the two days’ worth of scruff on his chin. “But Paul almost did. I thought Emily was going to beat him up with her crutches for stinking us out of the cabin.”
Kelsey smirked. “Nah. Dying of embarrassment was more her style. I told you it would be fun.”
They were neither the first nor the last to leave, and Kelsey waved goodbye to her remaining friends before putting her SUV in reverse. Already she was imagining a nice, hot shower, preferably shared, when they returned to civilization.
Ian, on the other hand, seemed to be thinking about his messages. He had his phone out as the SUV headed away from the cabin, but it would be a bit yet before cellular service returned.
The unpaved road was narrow and in need of fresh dirt to fill the many potholes created by the fall rain. Tree branches hung low over the nonexistent shoulders, and shrubs reached out with leafy fingers to caress the car. It had been an uphill drive to get to the cabin, and on the right, the dirt sloped off at a steep angle as they drove lower, winding their way back down.
“You’ve got several more miles to go before your phone’s going to work,” Kelsey said. “It’s supposed to be peaceful, you know. A break from the daily grind.”
Ian’s expression was unimpressed. “Peaceful with the possibility of serial killers or being eaten by bears? It was fine when there were people around. Emily had a busted foot. I could have outrun her.”
Kelsey snorted and smacked his arm. “That’s what you get for watching too many action movies and reading too many thrillers. Try picking up a romance once in a while. You might start associating ‘secluded’ with ‘romantic.’ ”
“I’ve been reading your series.”
She almost drove off the road. “You have?”
“I’m on book three.”
“Do you like them or are you just reading them because they’re mine?” Immediately Kelsey wished she hadn’t asked. She didn’t want to pressure Ian into saying yes, and she didn’t want him to feel bad if he said no, since logically, she understood that taste was subjective.
“I started reading the first one because it was yours. I kept reading because they’re entertaining.” He grinned. “Also, you have a filthy mind.”
“I haven’t heard any complaints about that in real life.”
“Because I have none, although your books give me ideas.”
Kelsey winced. “Just remember, things in books don’t always translate well to real life. Sex outdoors around here will result in mosquito bites where you really don’t want them.”
Ian sighed. “I got two on my legs during truck sex. I was hoping it had gotten too cold for them.”
“Never underestimate their staying power. But what are your thoughts on shower sex?”
Not surprisingly, Ian had positive thoughts.
The next leg of the drive passed in happy comfort. Sometimes they talked. Sometimes they fell into comfortable silence. Kelsey watched Ian from the corner of her eye as she drove. The lack of privacy notwithstanding, she’d enjoyed every moment of cuddling with him to stay warm the last couple of nights. She could get used to waking up to the sound of his breathing and his scent clinging to her skin.
She’d anticipated the weekend would irritate her to no end, and that her annoyance with her friends for changing the rules would spoil her mood the entire time. But Ian’s presence had been like a soothing balm, smoothing out her edges and cooling her temper.
There was no question she was getting soft. Ian just had an effect on her, something even her friends had noticed when she’d let him carry the heavy box of food they’d brought to share into the cabin. Normally, Kelsey hated allowing anyone to help her, fearing it made her look weak. But she’d never resented Ian’s help. Whether it was fixing her broken table or bringing her chicken soup, she’d been touched instead. It was a sure sign she’d always viewed him as different from everyone else, and that she’d been developing feelings for him far earlier than she’d been willing to admit to herself.
No doubt it was also a sign that she’d fallen hard. She trusted him. She preferred his company to anyone else’s. It was highly possible that she loved him.
Kelsey didn’t have a lot to base that suspicion on. She’d once thought that she loved Anthony, but since then, she hadn’t let herself get close enough to anyone else to gather much experience with the emotion. Just the fact that Ian had sneaked passed all her barriers was probably proof enough of what she felt.
Screwed. The new word she associated with Ian now was screwed, because he’d utterly screwed up her life, and she was grateful.
* * *
* * *
ALTHOUGH HE LIKED teasing Kelsey about the possibility of serial killers, Ian could see the appeal of a secluded cabin. As long as
it was only the two of them. In fact, this weekend had made him look forward to winter. He imagined long nights curled up naked with Kelsey by a fire, pretending the cold world outside their doors didn’t exist.
By the time cell service reappeared, these plans had put Ian in a very relaxed state of mind, but it wasn’t meant to last. The constant chiming from his phone, as all the messages he’d missed since Friday evening arrived, killed it pretty quickly.
“You’re obviously more popular than I am,” Kelsey said. Her phone had barked only twice.
“You know, you were right. There was something nice about not being able to be reached.” Ian held in a groan as he counted the texts.
By sheer determination to maximize his time with Kelsey, he refrained from reading any of them for another half hour until she stopped to refuel—with gas for the SUV and coffee for herself. He had a couple of texts from Isabel, but Micah’s messages were what ensnared his full attention.
Call me when you get this, Micah’s first text read.
Not even a minute later: I mean that literally. Whenever you get cell service back. We have a situation.
And finally: Don’t panic.
Ian panicked.
Micah picked up immediately. “You’re panicking, aren’t you? I specifically said not to panic.”
“People only say to not panic when something is worth panicking about. Talk to me.”
“Several Lipin-affiliated businesses are canceling their orders . . . Ian?”
With a start, Ian realized he’d spaced out for a moment after Micah’s information. He’d glitched as his brain tried to process this, and his stomach threatened to return his breakfast. “Which ones?”
Micah rattled off a few names. “So far.”
Ian thought he might hyperventilate. Those were most of the Lipin-affiliated businesses they’d signed contracts with. Even if several of them would be shutting down for the winter soon, those contracts had been instrumental in his planning for the spring. “So far?”
“I have a feeling there might be more coming.”
“Why?” He was leaning against the SUV, and he grabbed the door to keep himself upright. First Wallace turning Porter-affiliated businesses against them, and now this? The brewery wouldn’t be able to survive it. He was going to fail. Just like his father had told him all his life that he would.
“Word has gotten around that you’re dating Kelsey,” Micah said.
The implication didn’t need to be stated. Clearly, the Lipins were taking that as a sign that he and Micah were declaring their support for the Porters in the damn feud. And so the Lipins were withdrawing their support.
Shit. Shit.
“Don’t panic?” Ian cast a glance over his shoulder. After offering to buy him a coffee, too, Kelsey had disappeared inside the shop attached to the gas station. He’d been so happy just a couple of minutes ago, but that bliss had been snatched away. “This is exactly the sort of situation that requires panicking.”
“It’s not great,” Micah admitted. “We’ll have to rethink some plans. Reconsider some options we’d ruled out.”
Micah was right. There were options—deals they’d considered making with other breweries, contracts they’d worked on with businesses outside of Helen but discarded for a variety of reasons. None of them had been ideal, but before, none of them had been necessary. Now they almost certainly would be. With every reason to believe they needed to scale up production, he and Micah had spent more money to buy additional equipment and hire people. Money for all of that would be due, and it wasn’t only his name, reputation, and credit on the line, but his family’s as well.
He had to pull himself together, and Ian stood straighter, physically adjusting to his changing priorities. “I’m on my way home. Should be there by late afternoon.”
He hung up as Kelsey stepped outside. Her brow immediately furrowed when she saw him, a sure sign that his mood was showing.
Ian’s heart sank down in his torso until it met the mess that his stomach had become. This wasn’t Kelsey’s fault, but he’d made a grave mistake where she was concerned. For a short time, she’d made him feel so good that he’d been delusional enough to think he could finally have everything. Love and success.
There was no point lying to himself about whether he loved her. Nothing short of it could have distracted him so thoroughly and disastrously from everything he’d worked toward. But that delusion had been shattered.
No, this was his fault for taking his head out of the game. For always taking two steps forward with her when he should have been taking one step back. He’d compromised both their hearts, and the only fair thing to do was to admit his mistake, apologize, and set her loose. Kelsey deserved someone who could give her everything, and he was no longer deluded into thinking it was him. Not now, anyway. One day in the future when the brewery’s situation was more secure, things could be different between them. But until that day, the brewery had to come first, and that meant he had to prove to the town that they were a neutral business. That they could—and would—work with everyone. And there was no way the Lipin half of the town would believe that while he was dating a Porter.
Ian had to choose, and his obligations, familial and financial, to Micah and his aunt and uncle had to win out.
25
IAN EXPLAINED TO her what had happened with the Lipins, and Kelsey spent the remainder of the drive wondering what she could do to help. In a way, this was her fault. Not directly, but the feud was the reason, and she was part of the feud. She’d told her father that she was done, but that was after more than two decades of gleeful participation. She might not have started it, but she’d thrown plenty of fuel on that fire, heedless of how many innocent people prior to Ian might have gotten burned.
Her guilt, of course, was no longer the only reason she wanted to help him. She cared too much about him to stand aside and merely say sorry. Unfortunately, positive intentions didn’t necessarily translate into useful actions, and Kelsey couldn’t come up with many ideas. She might have some influence among her family and family friends, but it was unlikely any of the Porter businesses that were balking at their contracts would listen to her over her father.
That was frustrating in its own right, but her feelings paled in comparison to the frustration and worry plastered over Ian’s face. After he’d told her about his call with Micah, he’d fallen into silence, staring morosely out the window or scrolling through his phone. Kelsey let him be with his thoughts. She had no doubt he’d open up and share in time.
That time turned out to be when she dropped him off at his house, but what Ian shared was nothing like she’d been expecting.
“What are you saying?” She’d parked in his driveway behind the truck. Her SUV’s air was thick with tension, but Kelsey had assumed that was from everything weighing on Ian. And in a way it was. But it sounded like more had been weighing on him than she’d realized, and she felt like someone had knocked the wind out of her. She did not like being blindsided, and she was hoping against hope that she had misunderstood Ian.
Because it sounded like just a week after they’d decided to make their relationship official, he was breaking up with her.
Ian winced. “I can’t do this, do us, now. I’m sorry, Kelsey. I need to focus on the brewery, and that means I don’t have time for distractions. I probably never did, but I wanted to be with you so badly that I lied to myself and said this could work.”
A distraction. He was really calling her a distraction. And he was breaking up with her.
Kelsey thought she might vomit. “A distraction?”
She tried to summon some rage over that, and there was a little. Over time she might be able to build that spark into a fire. But at the moment, it couldn’t overpower the deadness and hurt that Ian’s words had caused.
Ian rubbed his eyes. “Maybe that’s not the right word, but you
do distract me, in a good way, and that’s a problem. We’re losing Lipin businesses because I’m with you. And because I’ve been so distracted by you, I didn’t even realize what a problem dating you would be. The brewery has to remain neutral in the feud. It’s the only way we can survive. I shouldn’t have chosen Helen without understanding the town, and that was my mistake. I screwed up. But if the brewery fails, a lot of people are going to get hurt. This is my aunt and uncle’s investment—I have a responsibility to them, to take that seriously.”
Her jaw was aching, and Kelsey realized she’d been clenching it. Better that than to let out the pressure building inside her. She didn’t cry, especially not in public. A good Porter soldier didn’t show weakness. She got angry, not hurt. Then she got vengeful.
She hadn’t been a good Porter soldier in a while, though, and if she didn’t get the hell out of here soon, she wouldn’t be able to hold back the tears.
She’d been right to choose screwed as her new word for Ian. Because that’s what he’d absolutely done to her—he’d screwed her up, screwed her over, and apparently now was screwing right the hell off.
Well, fuck him. Her sense of guilt for whatever role her past actions played in bringing about this moment had depended on him not blaming her for it.
“Fine.” Kelsey restarted the engine. “I was feeling bad, like I’d dragged you into this mess, but if you’re going to choose your job over letting me work through it with you, then whatever. I don’t want to be with someone whose priorities are that messed up. Get your things and good luck.”
Ian reached toward her, and she snatched her arm away. “Kelsey, please. Listen to me. When things settle down maybe, when we’re better established, we can—”
“No. Don’t you dare expect me to wait around until you have your shit together. Life never gets easier around here, and I’m not waiting for you to figure that out. The only when you should be thinking about is when are you going to kick your father out of your head? That’s what this is about. You won’t listen to me or let me help, because all you can hear is him telling you that you’re going to fail. My voice counts for nothing, so why should I believe that’s going to change?”
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