by M. A. Lee
“Thank you so much for inviting me to dinner,” Cole began, trying to sound as polite as he could. “You all have a beautiful home.” His eyes circled around the gourmet kitchen with high-end appliances and neatly placed decorations.
Smiling, my parents exchanged glances as they nodded and thanked him for the compliment.
“Dinner will be a few more minutes,” my mom began. “Show Cole around while we get everything together.”
Deciding to take this opportunity, I gave Cole a quick tour of my house. We visited the basement where my dad now had a bar, pool table, and a huge media area. I then traveled upstairs to where my room was located at the end of the long and narrow hallway.
“Is that your room?” Cole asked, smiling as he stepped toward the door.
Nodding my head, I turned the knob and pushed the door open. I instantly cringed as I remembered all of the high school memorabilia and little girl décor that was still decorating the space. When I moved out and started college, I had left most of my childhood items behind. My plan, at the time, was to marry Brody and start an adult life with him. One that did not include Barbies, old prom photos, and pink and purple pillows.
Stepping into the room, Cole let out a loud laugh as he began scanning my pictures neatly placed in glittery frames around the room. He would point to one and pick me out, teasing me about my outfit or my hairstyle, or some silly pose I was doing with my friends.
Noticing my high school pictures, he began looking through the frames hanging on the wall. “Wow, you went to East Hills High School,” he stated. “You played soccer too.”
I just nodded my head yes.
“That’s cool, I went to West Lake High School,” he said. I knew that school, it was located on the rough part of town. “I didn’t get to play any sports, but I would have loved to of played baseball,” he finished.
“That’s cool,” I said, not knowing how to break the awkward moment.
“Is that you and Lauren?” he asked, picking up a blue frame with purple hearts. It was a picture of Lauren and me the summer before our senior year of high school. We were in bikinis at the beach, one of my many family vacations that always included Lauren.
I grabbed the frame and stole it away, trying to hide my embarrassment. Rolling his eyes, Cole was not fazed by my humiliation. Instead, he continued searching through my items and laughing.
“So,” he began as he sat on the corner of my bed, marveling in my lavender bedspread, “this is where you grew up.”
“Yes,” I said as I sat next to him, making sure I wasn’t too close.
“Wow, I never had a room like this.” He mused, admiring all of my memories and trinkets.
Laughing at this, I began to tease him. “I would hope you didn’t have a room full of pink.” I stated, nudging his arm.
Nudging me back, Cole opened his mouth wide, acting as if he were offended. “You know what I mean,” he joked. “I didn’t have anything growing up. Wherever I was placed as a child, usually consisted of me sleeping on an old bed or couch. I never had any pictures to frame or decorations to showcase.” He said this was a sadness that cut through my heart.
Reaching over, I placed my hand on his, letting him know I was here for him. “I know your childhood must have been terrible, but you have so much now. Remember, I grew up here and had a wonderful childhood, but I still faced a tragedy. Sometimes, life just isn’t what you expect, but it always works out for the best.” I offered a smile as I continued to hold his hand.
Turning to face me, Cole began to open his mouth, but quickly shut it. I replayed my own words in my mind as we sat in silence.
Sighing, Cole allowed his body to relax a little more. “Mel, do you really believe that?” he asked.
I nodded my head yes as I tucked a loose strand of hair behind my ear. It was strange being dressed up looking at my room almost from an outsider’s perspective. I felt so grown up in that moment.
“If you truly believe that, then why are you still so unhappy?” Cole asked, standing and beginning to pace the room.
“I don’t know,” I answered honestly. I could spit out all kinds of wise words and phrases, but I guess they really would not mean much if I couldn’t live by my own words.
“I guess; I just wish we could both erase the bad things that happened in our pasts. Just so we could move forward,” he said, reaching down and pulling me off the bed.
Before we could continue our conversation, we were thankfully interrupted by my mom calling us down for dinner. I was grateful for the distraction, even though I knew at some point Cole would want to continue this discussion. But for now, I put on a brave face and made my way downstairs with Cole.
“You two go sit down, we will bring the plates and roast in a minute,” my mom stated, pointing into the dining room.
“Did Melanie show you any of her old pictures and trophies from her years of playing soccer?” my mom yelled from the kitchen.
A wide grin appeared on his face as Cole remembered my embarrassing photos he had just looked over. “Yes ma’am,” Cole replied as he stopped in front of the kitchen.
Cole and I walked into the other room and sat side-by-side at the table. “Your parents are really nice,” he said as he patted my knee.
“Yeah, they are,” I said. “They still treat me like a baby and try to control my life, but I love them.” I said as I glanced around the room. My house was nice, and I knew Cole was probably overwhelmed at the moment.
“Hey, I would have killed to have parents, even ones that would try to control me. At least you know they love you,” he said, his eyes focused on the kitchen where my parents were bringing the food and plates to the table.
I knew he was right. My heart broke a little as I imagined how awful it must have been for him as a child, knowing he wasn’t loved. I wished that I could go back in time and hug the kid version of Cole.
“I hope you all are hungry,” my dad announced as he placed a bowl of mashed potatoes and salad on the table in front of us. “Melanie, your mom has been cooking all day. I swear, she made enough for an army,” he joked, as he took his seat at the head of the table.
“I just wanted to make sure Melanie and Cole had a nice, home cooked meal,” my mom said as she placed the platter of a carved roast in the center of the table.
“Everything looks and smells great,” Cole said, as he stood while my mom sat down.
Noticing this, my dad nodded his head at me and smiled. I could tell he was impressed with Cole, but I didn’t have the heart to tell either of them that he was just my friend.
“Thank you Cole,” my mom said, offering him a smile.
We all began to dig in, placing food on our plates as we began to eat the delicious meal my mom had prepared for all of us. Everything about this dining room and this house seemed so familiar but yet so different. The last time I had eaten at this dining table had been while Brody and I were still engaged. My parents usually chose to eat at our small kitchen table in the breakfast nook in our kitchen. A quick pain began taunting my heart, but only for a brief moment. I was finding that as the time passed, the hurt and anger I had once felt while thinking of Brody, was slowly receding.
Everyone was quiet as they ate, enjoying the meal. Ending the silence, my dad addressed Cole.
“Cole, Melanie tells us you are a mechanic,” he stated, opening the conversation so he and my mom could get to know Cole.
“Yes, sir,” Cole said, being so polite I almost choked on my roast. “I have been working on cars for as long as I can remember. I guess I sort of taught myself,” he said, before taking another bite of his potatoes.
“That’s great. I bet your parents are proud,” my dad stated, trying to be kind. However, he had no clue how wrong his statement was.
Trying not to sound defeated, Cole offered a slight smile. His placed his hands on his lap before facing my dad. “Well, I never really knew my parents.” Cole said. “I was sort of passed around through different relatives until
I was eighteen.” Cole stopped with that piece of information, not offering any more on the subject. “This is the best dinner I think I have ever had,” he continued.
I could feel him grow tense next to me. My parents exchanged glances as they realized family was a touchy and off limit topic with Cole. “Well, I guess that’s their loss then,” my mom said as she smiled and offered Cole a warm roll from a platter.
Graciously accepting, Cole seemed relieved that they didn’t push the topic. I made a mental note to thank them for this later.
The conversation quickly changed to what type of cars Cole works on and his plans for opening his own shop. For once, a family dinner with my parents didn’t include me explaining how I wasn’t blowing their tuition money and my future working at a small publishing company. They really seemed to like Cole and I was glad for that.
After dinner, Cole and I helped my mom clear the table. My dad stole him away into the living room where Cole began showing him pictures on his phone of some of the old classic cars he had restored. I decided to help my mom load our dishwasher and clean the kitchen.
“I think Cole is a great guy,” my mom said as she slightly nudged my shoulder. She winked at me and smiled.
“Yeah, he is really nice,” I began. “We are really good friends,” I added.
Laughing off my statement, my mom continued to scrub the pot the roast had cooked in. “I don’t know many friends that you would invite over for dinner on New Year’s Eve,” my mom said, as she scrubbed harder, splashing some of the bubbles onto the counter.
Wiping away her mess, I tried to defend myself. “Seriously mom, I am not interested in dating anyone. I need to focus on me.”
Turning to me, my mom placed both hands on the kitchen counter. “Melanie, I know that what Brody did to you was awful and heart breaking. That boy in there, is nothing like Cole. And the way he looks at you, well, that is not how a friend looks at another friend.” She said, watching me closely.
Sighing, I knew she wouldn’t listen. No one seemed to listen to me when I tried to explain my complicated relationship with Cole. After cleaning up the kitchen and making sure all of the dishes were put away. I decided it was time to save Cole from dad. I checked the kitchen clock and it was after eight.
As I turned the corner out of the kitchen toward the den, I could hear my dad and Cole talking. I slowed my pace, trying to eavesdrop.
“So tell me Cole, how long have you and my daughter been dating?” This question made me stop dead in my tracks. I was rounding the corner, and was not able to hide behind a tall bookshelf. I could see Cole’s face, which now had a look of sadness as he looked away from my dad before he spoke.
“Well, sir. I wish I could give you a time line, but I can’t. Melanie and I are just friends. That is all she wants to be.”
Shaking his head, my dad seemed to understand what Cole was saying and not saying all at once.
“Don’t take it personally, Cole. Melanie has had a rough couple of years. Her heart was broken. The guy, Brody, he was scum. I never liked him, but I couldn’t tell her because she was so head over heels in love with him. When she lost Brody, she seemed to lose herself too. You seem like a fine young man, and I can tell Melanie cares for you. Just give her time to heal. I have noticed the last couple of months that she is slowly coming back to us. The old Melanie that we feared died two years ago, seems to be coming back to life. And, I think you may be the reason for that.”
Listening to my dad talk to Cole about me, shocked me to the core. They thought I had died? They thought I was coming back to myself again? As much as I wanted to be angry with what he was saying, I knew I couldn’t be. My dad was right. Brody had destroyed my soul, but I could feel life growing back inside me. I wanted nothing more than to run into the room and jump into Cole’s arms and let him love me the way he wanted to. But, the logical side of my brain was telling me no. To stop and remember how painful it was to have my heart broken into tiny fragments.
Sighing, Cole rubbed his eyes as if he were tired. “Between you and me sir, I really care about your daughter. A lot.” He paused and took a deep breath. “As weird as this is, talking about my feelings with you, Melanie’s father, I think you are a nice man. I am working really hard to get my life together. I know I am not going to college now, or working a great job. But, I am trying hard to do all of the right things. I want to open my own shop so I can support myself and a family one day. I just want you to know, that I know I may not be good enough for Melanie now, but one day I will be.”
His words stung my heart and shot thousands of painful pinches throughout my body. How could someone be this caring and patient? I know I have said this a million times before, but I really didn’t deserve Cole in my life. He had helped me so much in such a short period of time, and he was holding on to hope that one day I might be able to let him into my heart. Little did he know, he was already there.
Offering a haughty laugh, my dad placed a hand on Cole’s shoulder. “Son, you sure are a very patient man aren’t you?”
Nodding yes, Cole only laughed too.
“I respect that you didn’t let your background define you. Every day I work with criminals who grew up just like you did. They decided to sell drugs or turn to a life of crime to support themselves and fill a void left by a family that didn’t love them. You, on the other hand,” he said as he pointed to Cole, “rose above your circumstances and are working hard to have a respectable and honorable life. When I was your age, I was in law school and working at a local pizza joint. I didn’t have any money to my name. My parents worked hard, but they couldn’t afford to pay for my college expenses. You are doing fine, and one day, I can tell you will have your shop and will make a good living for you and a family.”
The two men shook hands, and I could see that my dad really did approve of Cole.
I knew that was my cue to interrupt their conversation. Cole and my dad talking about Cole’s feelings for me just seemed really weird.
Placing a heavy foot as I took a step forward, I made sure they heard my footsteps coming down the hall. “Hey Cole, you ready to leave?” I asked, trying to act as if I had not just overheard a strange and private conversation between the two men.
“Sure,” Cole said, walking toward me. I saw a hint of something in his eyes as he looked at me. I can’t explain the glimmer, but the feeling made my heart flutter a little.
After thanking my parents and taking home a ton of left overs, Cole and I left and made our way to Isaac’s house. The snow was beginning to fall in large chunks as we drove through town. As much as I feared storms, this was one storm that I loved to watch.
“Did you enjoy dinner?” I asked, noticing how quiet Cole had been since we left my parents’ house.
“Yeah, everything was great,” he said, keeping his eyes glued to the road. His knuckles were turning white as he tightly gripped the steering wheel. He was one big ball of contradiction as his tone revealed someone happy and content, but his demeanor reflected someone upset and tense.
“Are you sure,” I pushed, not sure I liked how strange he was acting.
There was a long silence, a void that filled the car to the max. Sighing, Cole removed one of his hands from the steering wheel and ran it roughly through his hair. He turned to me for a moment before fixing his eyes on the road again. “Why did you want me to meet your parents?” he asked, his tone robotic.
I turned in my seat so that I was facing him now. I observed his face so tight and focused on the road. His hair was still slicked back, making him look so debonair and handsome. He didn’t look or sound like the Cole I knew, and for some reason, this began to frighten me.
“I thought it would be nice for you to see where I grew up.” I replied, trying to keep my voice from shaking. “My parents wanted to meet you, plus I knew we would get a good meal before the party.”
Releasing a heavy breath, Cole opened his mouth, but shut it before any sound could escape. He only shook his head in frus
tration as he rounded the corner to Lakeview Street where Isaac lived. When he stopped the car, he rushed to open his door and then walked swiftly up the front walkway and through the front door. I sat stunned in the front passenger seat of the truck, not sure what to do or say. Cole had always opened my door for me and always waited for me anywhere he went. I felt as if he was angry with me, but I couldn’t understand what I had done this time. Sure, Cole and I were always pissing each other off, but this time, I really couldn’t think of anything I had done or said that would warrant him to act so callous toward me.
Shoving the door open, I jumped down and ran up to the front door, bursting through. Thankfully, the loud chatter of people and music drowned out my violent entrance. I wasn’t sure what was in store for this party or this night, but I sure as hell knew one thing- I was not going to end one year and begin another with a guy treating me wrongly. I had closed that chapter in my life two years ago and had no desire to revisit it again.
16
I stalked across the living room and into the kitchen where I saw Lauren laughing and talking with a couple who I had recognized from previous parties. Pulling her arm, I led her to the small bathroom of the house and closed the door.
Once inside, I whirled her around and began shouting my anger about Cole.
“I don’t understand what his problem is,” I screamed as I threw my hands in the air. I could see my wild behavior in the vanity mirror. Lauren, remained calm as she allowed me to have my epic meltdown. Nodding her head, Lauren just listened, never interrupting my rant. As I continued, I could hear the party in full swing just outside the thin, wooden door. “He is such an asshole! I can’t believe I have wasted so much time and energy on him. He kisses me one minute, then the next he acts like I don’t exist!”
Allowing a small laugh to escape her lips, Lauren looked at me with wide eyes. She folded her arms across her chest and rested her weight on one leg.