“Thank you,” he said, his face breaking into a brilliant smile.
“For what?” I asked. I tried not to stare at his soaked, grey t-shirt, and running shorts. He slipped his shoes off while the smile was still plastered to his face.
“I could get used to this,” he replied, pointing at me. When I raised my eyebrows, he just laughed and shook his head. “Okay. So, I wasn’t sure what you preferred. I brought bagels and the best waffles on the block.” He moved the bags up and down in front of me like a seesaw.
I bit my lip as I gawked at the bags.
“Please stop looking at the food like that. You can have both!” His eyes crinkled on the sides with laughter. He deposited the food on the island, and was about to get the plates when his gaze fell on my open laptop.. “What is this?” he asked, pointing at the screen as if it was germ-infested and he won’t touch it with a ten-foot pole.
“What do you mean? It’s a laptop,” I responded, unable to hide my amusement.
“I know that. But why do I see a real estate site and pictures of some really-not-so-great apartments in New Jersey?” He stood with his hands on his hips and a bewildered look on his face.
“I am looking for a rental.” I said matter-of-factly and started unwrapping the first bag. The warm, mouth-watering fragrance of waffles wafted up to me and I bit back a sigh.
“So soon?” Ryan asked. I looked up confused. Hunger had almost made me forget he was standing there. I nodded as I hunted for plates and forks in the cabinets and drawers. “But...but you just got here.”
I turned around to find him genuinely upset. The blue of his eyes looked muted, and his face drawn as he stood waiting for my answer.
“I can’t stay here forever, Ryan. If my family finds out I’m living here with you, it will be a scandal. And you’d better hope the media doesn’t find out.”
His eyes narrowed. “Why would the media care?” I froze mid-way to my first bite. Ryan had no idea about my past. I bit the inside of my cheek, my mind searching for an explanation.
“Well...the media always looks for gossip about families like mine. Rich and in the public eye.”
He didn’t seem fully convinced but he nodded nevertheless. “I’ve never seen you in the news. I wish I had so that I knew where you disappeared to after the engagement party,” he said, pulling his plate to him.
I looked away, hoping he didn’t notice the relief I felt at him not knowing anything about my past. I didn’t think he would so willingly bring me to his home after. “The media is worse in New York than Chicago.” I looked at the laptop screen again. “I’ll be leaving soon to check out some of these apartments. I hope to find something immediately so I can move out.”
He chewed quietly, ignoring my comment. I moved to my laptop again and started shortlisting places while he sat next to me, occasionally helping out with directions and distance.
After I was done, I went back to my room to change. I chose a pair of black tights and a long, white buttoned-down shirt. After applying light makeup to reduce the look of puffiness on my face, I was ready to look for my very first apartment.
When I walked out, I found Ryan had showered and changed into blue jeans and a black t-shirt. He stood up as soon as he saw me.
“Ready?” He asked. When I nodded, he picked the keys from the island and held the door open for me.
“Are you coming along?” I asked, confused.
“Of course. I have to ensure you don’t end up renting in Pennsylvania.” His response was clipped.. He was upset with me. He held the elevator door open as I got in.
“Great. I think I am indebted to you forever now. How can I ever repay you?” I muttered.
He let out his brilliant smile again, the blue of his eyes bright under the beautiful sunshine we found ourselves in as soon as we left the building. “We will find a way,” he said, winking.
“I’m sure.” I hoped he didn’t notice me blush at his wink.
We fell into a comfortable stride as we made our way to the nearest subway. We decided not to take Ryan’s car because we would end up in traffic for half of the day. There was no point in driving a car in New York City unless the intention was to pollute the air.
Ryan convinced me to look at some apartments in midtown before moving farther away from the city and closer to Edgewater, New Jersey. So, we packed ourselves into a subway car that was more or less full of weekend tourists. I listened in rapt attention as Ryan talked about all the places he had rented before settling on buying the penthouse.
He admitted that he needed a lot more convincing to buy a house than rent--strange for a numbers guy like him. But apparently he had seen the light once he bought his penthouse. He enthusiastically expounded on the wisdom of buying to me, while I let the details gloss over me with a smile. The truth was, I had no money to even rent, let alone buy. But I wasn’t going to stop him when I had the perfect excuse to stare at him without shame.
Just a few weeks back, I wouldn’t have imagined being in a subway car with Ryan Penn, looking for apartments. I hadn’t even tried to plan for what the next day would bring. All I had planned for was earning my first real paycheck.
I gazed at him, the impossible man who not only fought for me to take him seriously, but also gave my first serious freelance gig. He gave me hope. And now, he gave me a temporary home, too. I wondered how I stumbled upon such good luck.
His face cracked into an easy smile, his full lips upturning in an enticing way that stole my breath once again. The dip at the end of his lips made my heart flutter. He lifted my chin with a finger. My eyes shot up and I felt myself flush.
“Real estate will become my favorite subject if you continue to look at me like that.”
“Really?” I said. “Who falls for these lines? I tried hard not to smile.
“I’ve never needed pick up lines, baby,” he responded with a smirk.
Rolling my eyes, I stood up and the pole in front of the door as our destination was announced. We got out amidst the crowd and walked up the stairs to be welcomed by tall concrete residentials all around us.
Ryan grumbled all the way to the first rental, and came out in a much better mood when we discovered a smelly, utterly unkempt shoebox that would wipe my bank account clean.
The second rental a few blocks away was not much of an improvement. But at least it had hot water. By the time we finished with the third, I was in a very depressed spirit, while Ryan walked straighter with a spring in his step. At this rate, I wasn’t getting a place for the next fifty years, and he seemed happy about it.
“I am starving,” I muttered, looking up at the building that we were about to go into. Every apartment took about forty-five minutes to go through and I didn’t think I could take another disappointment on an empty stomach.
Ryan looked around and pointed at a cluster of food carts.
“I smell some yummy food. Would it be beneath a member of the Jain clan to try street food?”
I pretended to think about it, adjusting my imaginary pearl necklace.
“My non-existent bank balance thinks it's perfectly fine. So, lead the way,” I said.
“As you wish, my lady,” he responded, looping his arms in mine. A thrill shot through me at the light-heartedness of it all and I laughed aloud. Ryan looked at me strangely, his eyes never leaving my face. I sobered up immediately. He looked away, his forehead scrunching up again.
We stopped at a vendor where I ordered a falafel sandwich and Ryan had a chicken shawarma. It tasted like the best Meditteranean food I ever had, and I didn’t care that might be because I was starving. Ryan unabashedly ordered a second Shawarma and ate it all in record time. By the time we strolled in to the fourth rental, my mood had picked up considerably, and I had renewed resolve to find a place as soon as possible.
We waited outside the building, as the agent for this particular rental was running a few minutes late. The sun beat down on us harshly, but the complex surprisingly had enough shade to keep us co
mfortable. Joanna, our agent, rushed to meet us, adjusting her handbag on her petite frame.
“Sorry to keep you waiting,” she said, with a slight Latin-American accent. “Let’s go.”
We followed her into the building. The lobby was small, but decent--no have peeling wallpaper or chipped paint. It was a relief to find a clean elevator that didn’t threaten to stop mid-way if we moved. Something told me this might be the place and my heart beat faster as we neared the apartment door. I instinctively clutched Ryan’s hand and squeezed. His body stilled for a moment, but before I pulled my hand away, he squeezed it back, locking our hands. It felt...right.
Joanna pushed the door open and I entered to find a studio barely as big as my bathroom back home. It was a single room separated into three sections by heavy brown curtains. In the middle was the living space, and it was flanked by a queen bed on the right and a kitchenette on the left. A low-rise loveseat pushed to the wall with the only window in the unit. A TV hung on the opposite wall. There was a closet next to the queen bed ,but apart from the heavy brown curtain, there was no privacy. The kitchenette had a hanging closet over the electric stove, and there was almost no counter space. It took me a total of twenty eight steps to get from one end of the apartment to the other, and I loved it!
Streams of natural light flowed through the single large window, making the apartment feel airy in spite of its size. A splash of color in the space was all that was needed to make the place livelier. The brown curtains had to go. A solid, elegant room divider would bring in a more feminine touch. As for the kitchen, it was more than enough for my occasional attempts at pasta dishes.
I turned to Ryan, barely containing my excitement as I fell in love with what could be my very first rental. He smiled in return, genuine happiness reflected in his eyes.
“This is great! Does it come furnished?” I asked, pointing at the furniture in the apartment.
“Ah, about that. This apartment is owned by the parents of a college grad. He lives here currently, but he will leave in three weeks. So, if you like it, then you can start renting this by…” she pulled out her phone and continued, “by the 20th.”
I deflated.
“I...I don’t have three weeks. I need a place immediately. Can we make some arrangements with the owners?” I stopped myself from wringing my hands. Standing in the middle of the room, I already felt a connection to it. It felt like home. But that was beside the point. Three weeks was too long to wait, and I couldn’t go back to my dad’s place.
“I wish,” Joanna said. “This is unfortunately not negotiable. But let me see if I can get you something in return for your trouble. Yes?” She gave me an encouraging nod.
Dejection stole my words and, I stood in silence for a moment, feeling as forlorn as if I was ditched by my first love.
“We will wait for your update,” Ryan responded. “Thank you for showing us around.” He shook hands with Joanna, and I was grateful for his intervention. His hands looped in mine and he tugged me gently toward the door. I looked around the small apartment one last time and walked out.
13
Ryan
Anshi looked like she lost her favorite toy. She dragged her feet on the way out of the building, and then sat dejected on the subway on the way back. When I insisted we have ice cream to cool off from the heat, she obliged, but the ice cream melted while she stared out at the street through the ice cream shop window. It was part concerning and part amusing.
One look at the tiny apartment and I thought I would suffocate in a few minutes. There was a reason my penthouse had a two-story ceiling. I can’t stand small spaces. Even my bedrooms had twelve-foot ceilings. But when I turned around, I found Anshi in love with the shoebox. Eyes shining, she had already set up her home there during the first sweep her eyes made around.
When she turned to me all excited, I knew she had made her choice. I was glad there was a huge window in there, at least. It did make it a bit airier, and I imagined myself enjoying hanging out there with my neck stuck out of the window for fresh air. Not a bad bargain--if I was allowed in her space.
“Earth to Anshi,” I said, waving my hands in front of her face. She turned, rolling her pretty eyes. She scooped a spoonful of melted ice cream out of her cone and sipped dejectedly. “I think you got a great deal with the rent,” I continued. “If I were you, I would consider myself lucky.” Joanna really hit this one out of the park. The owners were desperate to rent it out to manage their mortgage, and they were having difficulty finding renters willing to wait to move in. They gave Anshi a great rate for waiting three weeks.
“Well...that really was a blessing. But...three weeks,” she said, biting her bottom lips. “It’s not fair to you.” She stared at her ice cream, mixing it up again.
I had offered to let her stay at my place until she got the apartment. In fact, I didn’t even want her to start hopping around the city looking for a place until she felt more settled. But her need to prove something to her father won once again. She had to show him she didn’t need him. That was all fine and good, but I thought she needed to analyze the situation better before jumping to action. She seemed resolute, though, so I tagged along. And if one day was all I got with her, I wanted to be around her for the whole twenty-four hours.
“I told you I’d love for you to stay at my place. It’s big enough.” Just seeing her in my kitchen, opening the door for me as I returned with breakfast, was the best feeling I had in a long time. I had to make her see it would be a good thing for her to stay.
“I know. But it’s a bother. May be I can call Nisha and -”
“Do you really want to spoil their honeymoon? She is going to be so worried. Don’t do that.” Yes, way to manipulate, Ryan. Shame on you. She looked crestfallen again.
“Maybe Sara, then…” she said, chewing her lip. I waited as I felt her unease increase. She drew invisible doodles on the table staring out of the ice cream store. “Maybe not….”.
I sighed in relief. I didn’t realize I was holding my breath. I didn’t know what the deal was with Sara and Anshi but I knew Anshi wasn’t as close to her as she was to Nisha.
“Hey...look at me,” I said, pulling her face gently by her chin. Her expression was defeated. She was too proud to live on scraps, and she hated this situation. “I think this is your lucky day. I will make you a deal.”
Her gaze sharpened with curiosity and she sat forward.
“If it makes you any better, I will charge you rent for the three weeks.” She sucked in a breath.
“But I can’t afford your penthouse, Ryan,” she said in dismay.
“Not for the penthouse. For the room, gorgeous.” An impressive blush rose from her neck to her cheeks. “And, I am a very reasonable owner.” She shook her head.
“I still can’t afford it. And I know you’ll charge me a negligible amount, which is not fair to you.” She hesitated for a moment before continuing, “Maybe...I can pay you in kind? Maybe I will cook dinner every night? Or, paint! I can paint the walls for you. You probably never got to it with your busy schedule. I will take care of it.”
That was a surprise. I didn’t know my walls needed some rescuing. I liked them just like they were.
“Home ownership is hard work, indeed,” I said, scratching my jaw. She nodded sagely. “So, you’re offering to paint my home in exchange for living there?”
“Yes...I will paint the walls and I will make sure you have a tastefully decorated house.”
I reined in the urge to laugh. “Deal. Paint it any way you want.” Her eyes warmed, and she looked relieved. A smile broke out on her face.
“I promise you will like it. It’s a lot like graphic designing. Colors, light...I have done this quite a few times at the reha -, I mean, in the past.” She tripped on her words, and my heart stilled. I blinked, acting as normal as possible. She rubbed her neck, pushing her hair off her shoulder. Did she say what I thought she said?
She fidgeted in her seat, her shoulders tense. I
gave her a smile, and wished I knew a way to calm her down. She had to know it was okay to have a past.
“I think there’s one more thing I require of you as part of the deal,” I said. She stopped fidgeting at that. “I don’t have a girlfriend right now.” When I paused, I saw distrust and vulnerability flash on her face. “We have the Jefferson conference next week, and my company is setting up a booth. There’s a gala to attend in the evening. I was hoping you’d do me the honor of accompanying me as my date.”
She sagged in relief in her booth, and gave me an uncertain smile. “I didn’t expect that,” she said, softly.
I leaned forward over the table, the smaller distance between us bringing back the sweet tension I always felt with her. A soft gasp escaped her as my fingers touched her cheek. I fingered a stray strand of her hair caressing her face, the soft tendrils kissing my skin. “You will be really surprised, in a good way, if you allow yourself to know me better.” She swallowed as I tucked the tendrils behind her ear, my fingers lingering on her skin. “Deal?”
She cleared her throat. “A date is a good start.” She lowered her gaze and finished the rest of the ice-cream. Swinging her cross-body bag across her shoulders, she stood up. A smile touched her lips. “Let’s go. We have a home to decorate and a date to get ready for.”
14
Anshi
In spite of how the day went, I found myself smiling at Ryan. I swirled the wine that I was never going to drink as I watched him navigate comfortably in his white-washed kitchen. The slightly tangy smell of marinara sauce surrounded us while the pasta cooled beside the sink.
We arrived at Ryan’s place way before dinner, giving me plenty of time to change into my comfortable cotton tee and PJs. When he asked if I’d like to go out for dinner, I almost whimpered massaging my sore feet. When he left with no comment and just a devilish smile, I thought we were ordering in. But the ruckus outside my bedroom pulled me out of my sanctuary and I found him scouting for utensils in his own kitchen.
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