Lochlan pierced him with a feral glare. "Ryan is not Robby MacDouglas, nor is he Kieran."
Ewan said nothing.
"He's closed us out again," Braden said disgustedly. "He'll not hear a word we say."
"Then may I kill him?" Sin asked.
"Nay," Lochlan said, "I want the privilege."
Braden scoffed. "You're just angry that she took Catarina with her when she left."
Lochlan shoved at Braden. "Leave off that line of taunting. I never want to hear that woman's name pronounced in my presence again."
"Out!"
All four men jumped at the sound of Aisleen MacAllister's commanding tone. "Leave your brother be, lads. He needs no more pestering from the likes of you."
Reluctantly they withdrew. But the combined looks on their faces warned him loudly that they would be back to pester him more.
"Thank you," Ewan said as silence once again claimed the room.
Then, to his utter shock, his mother came to the bed and smacked him hard across the side of his right hip.
"What was that for?" he asked, unable to believe she had done such a thing.
"I wish you were small enough that I could give you the spanking you deserve."
"Mother, I'm injured."
"Aye, and in the head to boot."
He was aghast at her. She'd never spoken to him in such a manner. "What has possessed you?"
"Anger mostly. I want to know why you let such a fine lass go off with that good-for-nothing. He'll only make her miserable, and well you know it. I canna believe you would do such a thing. Saints preserve me, but I thought I had raised you up better than this, and now I find out just how wrong I was."
She crossed herself and started praying for his lost and wayward soul.
Ewan gaped at her, unable to believe her and her actions. "You of all people would have me come between them?"
She broke off mid-prayer to glower at him for a full minute.
Then his mother sighed wearily and sat down on his bed. She sat there for several heartbeats, not moving or speaking.
He couldn't tell if she was really gathering her thoughts, or getting ready to hit him again.
When she spoke, he leaned away from her just in case her madness should again possess her.
"Ewan," she said as if the weight of the world were upon her, "I have tried all your life to bring happiness to you, and it saddens me that I have failed you so miserably."
"Mother—"
"Nay," she said, holding her hand up as she interrupted him. "Let me say my piece."
A faraway look came over her, as if she were remembering his childhood.
Ewan gave an involuntary shudder. If she remembered too much of his errant childhood, he really would be in trouble.
"Unlike your father and your brothers, I know why you are withdrawn. I've always known. Do you think I don't remember the way you looked when at age four you were too large for me to pick up and carry? You used to stare at me holding Braden, and I could see the hurt in your eyes."
He opened his mouth to deny it, but she silenced him by placing her hand over his lips.
"I would sit for hours and weep, wishing that I had been born larger so that I could take you into my arms and carry you about as you wanted. But it was too late. From that day forward, you pushed me and anyone else who would draw you in away from you. It broke my heart that you decided you had no use for me and my hugs."
"That's not true," he insisted, even though in his heart he knew it was. He'd always been wounded that his brothers seemed to get everything else while he was left on his own.
That was why Kieran had meant so much to him. Their father had taken up with Lochlan to the exclusion of the rest of them. Braden was favored by their mother, and Kieran had always doted on him.
Braden had forever picked at and harassed Ewan, while Lochlan lost patience with virtually everything he had ever said or done. Kieran alone had taken time to befriend him.
"Aye, it is true," his mother said. "Any time I have ever reached out to embrace you, you have tensed up and immediately moved away."
She stared intently at him. "You don't tense when Nora touches you, Ewan. When the two of you were in the hall below and you were fighting, I saw the way you looked at her. The need you had in your eyes when she reached for you."
Ewan stared at the wall as her words sank in and the pain of the past and present ran rampant through him.
"I know you were never happy when you lived here with us. Your father was ever cruel while you tried so hard to please him. He judged you harshly, and I won't make excuses for him. But he did love you, Ewan. The last words he spoke on this earth were about you."
"Because he didn't think I could care for myself."
"Nay, that was not what he said."
Ewan looked at her.
"He knew there at the end that he'd been too demanding on all of you. He'd tried so hard to make Lochlan strong enough to be laird, to make Kieran shoulder the burden of family. Braden to stand up to the rest of you so that the lot of you didn't run over him. Your father wanted me to find Sin and make amends to him for what we'd both done to him and you…"
Ewan held his breath as he waited.
"He wished that he had never let you hear his cruel criticisms. He regretted the times he wounded you with his words. The times he told you you disappointed him. You didn't disappoint him, Ewan. He was always proud of you."
Tears filled his eyes as he remembered what his father had said to him when he had come home to find Kieran dead.
His father had viciously backhanded him. You disgust me. You stole what didn't belong to you, and you killed your own brother by doing it. Never again will I welcome you into my sight. You deserve nothing but my scorn.
Embittered and grief-stricken, Ewan had left the MacAllister castle that day and had refused to ever set foot in it again until after his father's death.
He would never have returned at all had Lochlan and Braden not come after him and told him that their mother needed to see him.
That she was dying of her grief and that if he didn't return home with them, they would lose her as well.
And so he had come home, ever reluctant, back into their family fold. A missing part that had never really fit.
His mother leaned forward and kissed him on his forehead. "I have never blamed you for Kieran's death, Ewan. Never once. It is you alone who carries that in your heart, and if I could, I would exorcise it from you. I would give up my very soul to bring you peace and happiness."
She brushed a lock of hair back from his forehead. "Nora is a good lass, and she cares for you a great deal. 'Twould be a pity to live in a cave when you could just as easily live in comfort with a woman who loves you. But 'tis your life for you to make."
She patted him gently on the arm and got up to leave. "Sleep well, my son. If you can."
* * *
Chapter 13
« ^ »
Two weeks later
Nora stood outside the kirk, her broken heart pounding in trepidation and pain. She still couldn't believe that everyone was forcing her to do this.
Her parents.
Ryan.
Most of all, she couldn't believe Ewan would do this to the two of them.
Damn him!
Her eyes widened at the involuntary curse. Nay. Not involuntary. She was furious with him. He deserved that and more for his callous actions.
How could he have tossed her aside so easily?
May a pox roast his hoary soul!
By now he was probably back at his cave, lying in a drunken stupor, oblivious to the fact that she had ever loved him.
That she would spend the rest of her life pining away for him.
And why should she? He didn't deserve her devotion. He definitely didn't deserve her love.
What he deserved was a swift kick to his backside. One that left him limping for eternity, and if she ever saw him again, she would definitely deliver it to him.
> And in a few minutes, she would be bound to Ryan for eternity.
She felt ill with the thought.
Even more so at the idea of doing with Ryan what she had done with Ewan. Of Ryan touching her, loving her…
A tear fell down her face.
"Shh," Catarina said from beside her as they waited for her father to lead her up to the kirk. She didn't know why the gypsies had stayed with them for so long, but she was glad they had.
She needed Catarina's strength to see this day through.
Lysander had been sent back three days ago to Nora's father's southern estate, which rested on the border of England and Scotland.
Pagan had gone farther north, toward the Hebrides, saying there was a matter he needed to investigate. But he had promised to return in a few weeks and check on her.
And if Ryan didn't give her the respect she deserved, he had vowed to make a widow of her.
One could only hope Pagan was a man of his word.
Tomorrow Catarina, Viktor and Bavel would leave as well.
Then she would be all alone as Ryan's bride.
Her stomach sank even more.
Was there no one who could save her from this madness?
She looked up at the sky, praying for some tragedy to befall her. Mayhap she could break her leg on her way to the altar and delay the events…
Nora glanced about the smooth pathway hopefully, but there was no help there, either.
She was doomed.
Catarina patted her arm affectionately. "Ewan will come for you, Nora. I know it."
How she wished she shared her friend's conviction.
"Nay, Cat. He's abandoned me. I meant nothing to him when compared with his honor." She spat that hated word. "That is all that matters to him. I just hope it keeps him warm in his old age."
Catarina gave her a knowing smile. "No real man would ever willingly let the woman he loves be touched by another man. He will come for you. Trust me."
It was a nice thought, but Nora didn't believe it for a minute.
Her father came forward to lead her to Ryan.
Please, let me break a leg or fall down dead.
It was all she could do not to turn around and run, screaming, through the village.
But no matter how distasteful this was, she wouldn't embarrass her father or herself.
So she walked woodenly toward the crowd that was gathered there to see this living nightmare fulfilled.
Ryan waited with a grim look on his face.
Run, Nora, run.
Her father's tight grip on her arm was the only thing that prevented it.
"Don't embarrass me, lass," he whispered under his breath as if he knew her thoughts.
Nora kept her gaze forward, focused on the gathered crowd. Ryan's plump mother was weeping in happiness. His father looked rather aggravated. The two of them stood off to the side, waiting for the moment when she would become their daughter.
They still didn't know how much money their son owed.
Not even she could bear to tell them. That was for Ryan to do.
Ryan stood at the door with the priest, but he refused to meet her gaze. He glanced at anything other than her as if ashamed of what he'd done.
And well he should be.
They paused in front of the priest.
Nora locked her legs together, afraid she was going to faint before this could be done.
She trembled as her father passed her hand from his arm into Ryan's hands. It was all she could do not to curl her lip.
Her father publicly renounced his ties to her and moved away from them. He went to stand next to her mother, who watched with misery burning bright on her beautiful face.
Her feelings were mirrored in Nora's tight belly.
"I'm sorry about this, Nora," Ryan whispered to her. "But I promise I'll make you a good husband."
Nora's thoughts whirled at his words and at the memory they evoked.
My wife…
A momentary slice of happiness slashed through her as a glimmer of hope appeared.
Something that just might save her.
Could she have found her reprieve?
Oh please, let this work.
The priest began the ceremony to bind them…
"Do you, Eleanor ingen Alexander of Canmore, take Ryan—"
"Wait!" she said, her heart pounding in fear and excitement. "May I ask a question?"
"Nora," her father's voice boomed. "This isn't the time for your curiosity."
She flashed him an impatient scowl. "But 'tis an important question, Father. Really important."
Ryan rolled his eyes and gave a long, disgusted sigh. "Best let her have at the asking, or we'll have no peace from her tongue."
She glared at him and fought down a sudden urge to kick his shin.
"Ask your question, lass," the priest said charitably.
Drawing a deep breath, she spoke. "Can a woman marry one man while being handfasted to another?"
There was an audible intake of breath at her question.
The priest frowned. "Why would you ask that?"
"Nora," her mother said, her tone suspicious, "what are you saying?"
Nora squirmed a bit as she hoped this worked to her benefit. Ewan might not want her, but at least this would save her from being tied to Ryan.
"Well…" she began slowly. "Ewan told everyone that he was my husband while we were traveling."
"Aye," Catarina said, a smile breaking across her face as she caught on to Nora's plan. "I heard his proclamation myself. He said it proudly before an entire gathering of people."
"Aye," Viktor concurred. He indicated him and Bavel. "We heard it as well. You may check with any person who was there. Ewan made no pretense of hiding it."
The roar of the shocked crowd became deafening.
Ryan's father decried it as trickery. His mother sobbed uncontrollably.
"And where is this Ewan now?" the priest asked, having to shout to be heard over the cacophony.
Nora felt heat rush to her cheeks.
How did she tell the man that she had no idea?
"He's in the back of the crowd, bleeding," came a deep, rumbling English voice.
Nora couldn't breathe as she recognized the voice.
It belonged to Sin MacAllister!
Shaking now, she searched the crowd to find him. There at the very rear of those gathered was one man who towered over all the others.
It was Ewan, and he was flanked by his three brothers.
She smiled so widely that she had a good idea she looked foolish.
She didn't care.
Ewan elbowed Sin in the stomach for his announcement, then moved forward through the crowd that now parted before him like the Red Sea before Moses.
Ewan moved slowly, carefully.
Deliberately.
Nora wept at his approach. His face was pale, and he had a fine sheen of perspiration on his brow.
It was obvious that he was in pain, but why?
Surely his injury had healed.
"What are you doing here?" she asked as he climbed the stairs to stand by her side.
His eyes danced with love as he took her hands into his and kissed each one in turn. "I've come to claim my wife, if she'll agree to have a fool for her husband."
Joy exploded through her. He had come!
Catarina had been right.
Ewan had come for her…
But why had he waited so long?
Why had he put her through such torment?
'Twas cruel what he'd done, and had he waited another few minutes, she might have found herself Lady MacAren.
That didn't sit well with her.
In fact, it made her want to torment the man who had tortured her.
"Why did you wait so long to come?" she asked.
He brushed his finger down her cheek, raising chills all over her body. "The infection from my wound returned and I couldn't."
"He shouldn't be here now," Lochlan said a
s he stood at the foot of the stairs. "He's still too weak to travel, but when he learned you were to marry Ryan, he refused to stay abed. No doubt you'll be paying for this bout of stupidity as well."
Ignoring his brother's words, Ewan tipped her chin up so that she had no choice but to look up at him and see the fire in his blue eyes that devoured her.
"Run away with me, Nora," he breathed. "I'll take you anyplace you want to go. England. France. Rome. Outremer. You name it, and I'll gladly take you there."
Tears fell down her cheeks at his loving words. It was more than she could have asked for. "Anyplace?"
"Aye."
"Then I wish to take you to bed…"
Shocked gasps filled the crowd.
"To heal!" she said irritably as she glared at them as a whole. She shook her head at them. "What good would he be if dies of his wounds? Then I still end up married to Ryan. What good would that be?"
"I should be offended by that," Ryan said as the crowd laughed. "But she's said much worse to me than that over the years."
He clapped Ewan on the back. " 'Tis just as well, I would have more than likely killed her within a year anyway, or run off with another. Peace be with the two of you, Ewan and Nora, and may the saints in their mercy bring early hearing loss to all the MacAllisters."
Nora gaped at Ryan's words.
"Nay," Ewan said. "I want no deafness in my life to deprive me of the beauty of her voice."
She smiled up at him, then threw herself into his arms.
Ewan staggered back, and only Lochlan's quick actions kept him from falling with her.
"I'm sorry, Ewan," she breathed. "I forgot."
"I don't mind." By the happy look of his face, she could tell he meant that.
"So, do I need to retire from this?" the priest asked.
Ewan shook his head. "Nay, Father. You've a wedding to be about. I want no one to ever question my right to this lady again."
"Ewan," Lochlan growled. "You'll pass out before it's through."
"Then toss some water on my face, prop me up and make sure I say 'I do' when I need to."
Nora squeezed his hand as the priest began the ceremony.
Ewan listened to the priest while he stared in grateful relief at the woman before him.
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