For the nth time that night, Dom rolled over, unable to fall asleep despite not resting the previous night. His brain kept racing until his heart sped up to follow its lead, and without Seth’s breath to calm him, he was left a victim to his thoughts in the empty bed. It had been so long since he’d last spent the night alone, and whenever sleep didn’t come, he would place his head on his husband’s chest and, savor his warmth until the gentle waves of Seth’s breathing lulled him to sleep.
Tonight, Domenico didn’t have the luxury of company.
Once again, he reached for his cell phone and scowled, seeing that yet another hour had passed. Chances were that this would be yet another restless night. When was the last time that happened? Probably when he and Seth had been forcefully parted last time and pretended they were brothers. Forced into separate rooms, they assured each other with simple messages that meant one thing: I’m safe and I’m thinking about you. Before that, Domenico would have never thought a simple dot sent via text message could communicate so much, and yet it was so soothing to know the man he loved was still there for him.
He sent Seth a dot without thinking.
Would Seth even remember what it meant?
Before his screen could even go dark, he got an answer.
A dot.
Breath caught in his throat, and he rolled under the sheet, staring into the screen with his heart beating faster by the second. He responded with a dot.
Again and again, the dots kept coming every time he sent one.
He wasn’t counting how long it went on for, but there was a disappointment to the exchange stopping.
When he thought that would be it for the night, a line of text appeared, going beyond the reassurance of the tiny ball of pixels.
[We need to talk. Can I come over?] Seth wrote.
Domenico licked his lips, suddenly scatterbrained with emotion. He sat up and combed back his hair before answering, [yes].
His hair bristled as he sat still, watching the door, as if he were young and inexperienced again, awaiting for another boy to climb into his bed at night. Every passing second felt like an eternity before Seth slid into the room without knocking. Dressed in a pair of soft pajama pants and his large chest bare, he was a sight to behold, even when tiptoeing inside so softly.
Domenico pulled up the sheet in wordless invitation.
“No,” Seth whispered and sat on the edge of the mattress instead. “You need to know the truth to make that decision.”
The sheet slipped from Domenico’s hand, but he shifted closer and sat cross-legged next to Seth. After the ups and downs of the previous twenty-four hours, having his husband here felt like a reward. “What do you mean?”
Seth rubbed his temples and took a deep breath. “The night Diego came here for me, I didn’t do everything right. I— I was really desperate to get him away from our home, because Mark was there on those pills, and Diego had just murdered Lilli, and so I took him to the horse, cause it seemed like a good idea. For distraction. I knew you’d be coming back soon.”
The sole mention of Diego’s name had invisible flames licking Dom’s skin, but he shrugged it off and listened, squeezing his knees. He wanted to be with Seth, and Seth wanted to be with him, regardless of what happened, and for that Domenico needed to tune his mind to what he was hearing and listen without prejudice. “That was actually a good idea. He could have done something to Mark or tried to force his way into the nursery if you two stayed.”
Seth nodded. “It worked. He really believed I was into him. You saw that at the end anyway. I thought I could feed him compliments for long enough and win us time. He had the knife on him, and I wanted to reach for it, but every time I thought about it, I wondered what could happen if I failed. I could be hurt or die, but that was nothing. He’d just step over my body, like he had with Lilli, and go for Mark,”—Seth choked up—“then wait for you in the one place where you didn’t expect danger.”
Domenico pulled him close, pressing a kiss to Seth’s temple and squeezing him so hard it felt like they could merge into one at any moment. “It’s okay. You protected us.”
“I didn’t really think he’d be crazy enough to want more while we were still on your territory.” Seth pressed into Domenico’s embrace as if it were a nest he could hide in.
Domenico frowned in confusion and rubbed Seth’s back. “Uh-huh?”
Seth flinched, and when he spoke, his voice came out ragged and low. “He wanted to fuck, Dom. He decided he’d sample his prize then and there. All I managed to do was sway him into a blowjob instead. I did it, Dom. That’s what I did. It took forever, and I feel so dirty, because I didn’t want to do it but I still had to. I can’t wash it off. I’m so, so pathetic. I was so close to his knife. I should have just stabbed him when I had the chance.”
A numb feeling expanded within Domenico. His brain glitched every time he tried to analyze what he’d heard—to come up with a way of diminishing the impact of Seth’s words. But no matter how hard he tried to not think about it, images of Seth servicing Diego with his lips pushed into the forefront of his mind, crowding his skull until it felt feverish.
“No … no, no…”
Seth pulled out of Domenico’s grasp and stood, rubbing his face. “That’s what it is. I played him, I led him on, and I got burned. It’s my own fault, but I need you to know that I never wanted any of it to happen.”
Domenico grabbed his head, his breath speeding up. The walls seemed to shift closer around him, even though he knew it was impossible. “No … it’s my fault. I stayed in the cemetery because I was angry with you, and then I went to get some fucking snacks. I could have returned sooner…”
“It shouldn’t matter. I should have had the dignity to go for the knife instead of trying to coquet him. I let it go too far, but I kept thinking that if I only made him stay that bit longer, you’d come for me. Like I was some fucking damsel in distress. I should have done it all differently.” Seth hugged himself, and wouldn’t look at Dom anymore.
His breath wheezed when he rolled off bed to face Seth. His muscles were one big ache, as if the heat of Dom’s anger dried out all fibres in his body. “Yeah, but what if he had killed you? What if you weren’t here anymore?”
Seth sniffed, turning his head away. In the dark, his face remained in the shadow. His voice was like an old instrument playing out of tune. “At least you’d have known I didn’t want him.”
Domenico swallowed the lump in his throat, the entirety of his attention for once focused on the man he loved, and whom he’d emotionally neglected until his behavior enabled this travesty. And the guilt over disappointing Domenico was yet another layer of sadness in Seth’s broken posture when fault didn’t lie on his side of this equation. “Seth, listen to me now. If I had the choice, I’d rather you cheated on me than … this. I love you, and I would have been hurt—yes—but I would have forgiven you eventually,” he whispered, surprised himself how true it was. He couldn’t bear the thought of Seth, his sweet, loving Seth forced into unwanted sex by a piece of shit like Diego.
Seth inhaled two times, lifting his head and glancing at Dom with eyes that glistened in the sparse light. And then he leaned in and closed Domenico in a tight hug. He could be as big and strong as an ox, yet still so desperately in need of comfort and reassurance. “I love you too. I just feel like everything around us is breaking apart, and I can’t stop it. I was scared you wouldn’t listen to me about what happened. That you wouldn’t believe me. That’s why I didn’t tell you at first, and then it just got worse and worse.”
Domenico bit his lip until the flesh felt numb, and pulled away enough so they could see one another. “I understand how it feels to be in that kind of position. Sometimes you can’t say no. You just do what you have to do to survive, and then you leave that behind.”
Saying that out loud brought Federico’s shadow into the room. It crept into the darkest corners, but Domenico could just about hear his breath. Seth would understand Domeni
co’s meaning.
Slowly, his husband nodded and rubbed his palms up and down Domenico’s arms. Tension was leaving the wide shoulders, and Domenico loved to feel that under his touch. “Even though he’s dead, I just feel so angry, you know?”
“You killed him. He died knowing that.”
The little smirk on Seth’s face was so welcome Domenico wanted to kiss it, but he wasn’t sure if he was allowed to just yet. “I just wish I’d had the chance to cut his dick off too.”
His words ignited a flame at the back of Domenico’s neck. “I wish I turned his balls inside out.”
He’d kept Seth in a gilded cage for so long he’d forgotten how vicious his husband could be when prodded. The mean glint in his eyes was so fucking sexy he wished he could pull him into bed. Or better yet—fuck him on Diego’s grave.
“You still wanna do that?” Seth whispered.
Dom was breathless. “Wanna grab some shovels?”
Seth nodded slowly, and the understanding that passed between them was so intense Domenico did dare lean in for a quick kiss.
Chapter 21 - Domenico
Domenico had forgotten how much he missed getting his hands dirty in Seth’s company, but seeing him shirtless, shoveling the dirt until he found Diego’s rigid body was like going back to a different time. A time when they had been the closest—two partners in crime who shared absolute trust.
Taking Diego out of the hole was like moving a statue, but Domenico had absolutely no qualms about tossing the body to the ground or breaking the petrified limbs if necessary. Seth was proficient with the saw, and he even thought of keeping Diego's remaining eye as proof that justice had been done.
Unlike the Seth from years ago, who’d been so freaked out about moving a body that he’d chickened out of the job and then thrown up his dinner, the man next to Domenico now knew what he was doing. This man wasn’t squeamish when it came to following through and cutting off Diego’s dick. There was no morbid cruelty in it either, but Seth was focused on getting the satisfaction of post-mortem revenge. This Seth put menthol salve under his nose and got on with the job.
The wild dogs that roamed the streets of El Encanto enjoyed their meal, and so would the pigs at the nearby farm that supplied Toro with meat.
Domenico and Seth watched the animals feed on the scraps of flesh and bone from the safety of the pickup truck. There was enough meat to go around so the animals weren’t fighting yet and instead filled their stomachs with the remains. Domenico wasn’t sure how edible Diego really was after over twenty four hours in the dirt, but the town had too many stray dogs anyway.
He removed his gloves and the apron Seth lent him. He tossed them farther away from the edge of the truck bed and shifted closer to Seth, stopping only when their thighs touched. “And they say revenge isn’t sweet.”
Seth looked back at him with a smile, and no matter how much Domenico loved the Seth who fed chickens and made the best breakfasts, witnessing him in a different role felt more enticing than the sweetest waffles. Tonight, no matter how bloody, was bringing him back to the man he’d fallen in love with. Sweet but violent. Capable, but needy. Vulnerable, but so, so strong.
There would never be another man like him in Domenico’s life, and watching him work felt like falling in love all over again.
“The dogs would agree.” Seth tossed another piece of meat into the hungry muzzles below.
Domenico laughed and rubbed his nose along Seth’s stubbly cheek. The sensation it created was so achingly familiar he couldn’t bear thinking that he might have lost Seth today. “You’ve changed. Two years ago you asked me to not include you in shit like this, but you have undiluted Villani blood. Can’t be helped.”
Seth nodded, getting more serious as he purged the world of Diego slice by slice. “I freaked out. I think what I wanted then was a break, but I’m not soft. I can do shit when it needs to be done. But once I asked you for the protection, for the peace and quiet, I felt that I couldn’t go back on my word once all of you were done with the dirty work. So like the biggest idiot, I decided to just do what was expected of me. We’ve worked out a status quo, so I learned to live within its bounds.”
Domenico sighed and put his arm around Seth’s shoulders, hugging him gently. “Next time, we will talk it out. We are the only ones for each other, am I right? We can’t allow ourselves to grow apart again.”
“No, we can’t. Even when I’m angry with you, I know that after all the shit we’ve been through together…” Seth shook his head. “No one could ever understand that. So now I’m saying it officially. This isn’t working. I hate not knowing what’s going on with you all day, and then you coming back to tell me what you had for lunch or whatever, because you don’t want to mention your work. It’s bullshit. And I hated the cock cage too. If I wanna jerk off, I wanna jerk off, not wait.”
Domenico laughed and rested his cheek on Seth’s shoulder as they stared into the swarm of furry bodies below. “Why didn’t you just say so?”
Seth growled. “I don’t know. You seemed really into it, and I felt I wasn’t accommodating enough. You were having so much trouble with Moreno. I barely had any scraps of information about any of that, and since my job was to take care of you, I wanted to make you happy.”
Domenico smirked, even though Seth’s motivation was oddly touching. “If it can be of any consolation, I wasn’t that much into it either. Not as much as I thought I would be, but then you seemed to like it so I just went with it.”
“You’re so dumb.”
Domenico shrugged. “I don’t care. You can insult me all you want as long as you’re here.”
Seth laughed and looked at the stars above. “So romantic. Is this our equivalent of other couples feeding ducks on a sunny afternoon? Dom, I really feel so much better. He deserves to become their shit.”
Domenico nodded. “Of course you enjoy this. You only pretend to be the good guy. My only regret is that I didn’t get to do all this while he was still alive.”
Seth pursed his lips and stood up in the bed of the truck, throwing the last scrap of meat farther away. “He’d have deserved it. Mark will never get his eye back.”
Domenico took a deep breath and touched Diego’s phone through the fabric of his pants. It had been buried alongside the body, and if Seth hadn’t decided he wanted to mutilate his tormentor, Domenico would have never found out the details that now remained a constant at the back of his mind.
“Tell me now, do you want to know of my business?” Slowly, Domenico faced Seth and caught his gaze. “Do you want it to become our business?”
Seth contemplated it for a moment, and Domenico sighed, watching his strong profile. Against the star-dotted background, even with the discoloration on his face, he was the most handsome man alive. “Yes. I’m ready. I will never be like you, but I want to be at your side.”
The declaration echoed inside of Domenico’s heart like the sweetest confession of love.
Domenico smiled but was still feeling lukewarm about the news he was about to communicate. He pulled out the phone and waved it at Seth. “Fucker didn’t even have it password protected. As if there was nothing to hide.”
Seth sat back down next to Domenico, and even the dogs seemed to have gone quiet in anticipation. “What did you find?”
Domenico shrugged and passed Seth the device. “I only had a brief look when you went inside to get us the gloves and aprons, but he’d been in touch with Raul Moreno, and the instruction was to lead me on.”
Seth stared at him for a long moment. “Moreno knows who took the guns. Or… he even knows where they are. Wait.” Seth pulled off the latex gloves. “Moreno took the guns and framed the eco-warriors.”
It seemed Seth had kept his ear close to the ground and knew more than Domenico had assumed he did.
“And you didn’t even have to read the messages to realize that. Yes. Seems the Morenos want to discredit me. Who knows, maybe Old Raul assumed I wouldn’t make it, and that’s why h
e left us be two years ago? In any case, this is a declaration of war.”
Seth nodded slowly and stroked Domenico’s neck. “It definitely will be once it emerges we got rid of Diego. Moreno’s reputation won’t allow him to just ignore this.”
Domenico’s face twisted into a bitter smirk. “Hope you remember your weapons training.”
Seth looked into the sky. “I’m working on my crossbow skills. But back to Moreno… You’re an intermediary for his business with Santo. What’s the point of going to war? It would end up being either you or him. And you don’t want to take over Moreno’s business… do you?”
Domenico groaned. “God, no. I tried not to unload at home, but being here is fucking frustrating. I liked what I was doing for the Villanis, because my goals were always clear, and I could do whatever in my spare time. This? This never fucking ends. There’s always some issues, grievances, and the nearest opera can be reached by plane only. It’s too damp, and I hate it when my clothes stick to my skin. Nobody speaks Italian outside of our home, and the only decent coffee is available in the harbor motel. Because I had a fucking espresso machine shipped here so that I didn’t have to drink some brown water when I’m doing business in town. Don’t even get me started on the availability of textiles and shoes. I tell you, Seth, I have many things to say about Federico Villani, most of them bad, but the man’s found the perfect equilibrium of exerting power without all the responsibility for it.”
Seth laughed out loud and entwined their clammy fingers. “You can rant to me all you want. I didn’t fall in love in some perfect tongue-biting man. I still remember that thirty-minute tirade after I made you go watch Harry Potter with me. But I’m glad you’re saying you don’t love it here either. I don’t hate our home, but it feels like it’s a transplant of a place that should be somewhere else. I worry that this started to feel like our forever. But with Moreno trying to cut us out of the equation, things will change either way.”
Gilded Agony Page 26