by Lili Zander
I told myself I’d try for the sake of the baby. But can I? Lud’s words hang in the air. At the end, if you hate me, I will understand, and I will leave.
“This is your house as much as it is mine,” I whisper. “If you want to stay, then stay.”
Xan meets my eyes steadily. “Are you asking me what I choose, Felicity?”
I swallow hard.
“Because there’s never any doubt. I choose you.”
At those words, I feel a small flare of hope in my heart, and it makes me foolish. “Yes,” I say to Lud, who’s still waiting for me to answer his question. “One week. I’ll play.”
7
Felicity
PRESENT…
By unspoken agreement, we hold off on the heavy stuff for the rest of the evening. I unpack my bag and place my clothes in the cupboard that Xan had built me.
Lud heads down the ladder to catch a detsena. “Unless you want fish?” he asks when he’s halfway out the door.
“Actually, detsena sounds great.” The creepy crabs don’t live in the Lowlands, and it’s been three weeks since I’ve had a taste of them. Their meat reminds me faintly of lobster.
He smiles at me. “Coming right up.”
There’s a pang in my heart. If I close my eyes, I can almost pretend the last month didn’t happen, almost imagine that everything is normal between us.
Not now, Felicity.
I move into the kitchen, where Xan is unpacking his own bag, filled with supplies. “You brought food?” I ask him, surprised.
He nods. “Just a few days’ worth,” he says. “I figured that we’d be too busy trying to find Dariux to spend much time hunting.” He pulls a small basket filled with kunnr, the glowing blue fruit that only grows in the Lowlands and that tastes like vanilla pudding. “Here you go,” he says, his eyes twinkling at me. “Don’t worry. It’s all for you.”
I’m addicted to the sweet, velvety taste of the strange blue fruit, but I didn’t think anyone had noticed. “Thank you,” I murmur. I don’t know what to make of Xan anymore. One moment, he’s offering me a diamond bracelet like waving something shiny in my face will make everything better, but immediately after that, he goes and does something that proves he truly pays attention to me.
“It’s good to be back here,” I say quietly. “Thank you for agreeing to let me come.”
“You’re our mate, Felicity,” he says, just as softly. His hazel eyes are filled with an unnamed emotion. “It kills Luddux and me to see you unhappy.”
Then why were you prepared to go with Belfox and Herrix, leaving me behind? I want to scream those words out, but I’m not ready to hear the answer.
Before I can do something foolish, Lud comes back with three detsena in his hands. “I’ll cook these,” he says to me. “Go sit down. You want some tea? Some kunnr wine? Some of Bryce’s beer?”
I’m about to ask for kunnr wine when I remember I’m late. “Tea, please. But I’ll cook. You’ve been flying all afternoon. You must be tired.”
“So are you.” Lud brushes a kiss on my forehead, a gesture that he’s done a thousand times in this room. Just not in the last month. I freeze in shock, and he stiffens. “I’m sorry.”
I don’t want us to be over.
Xan had estates in Alvi, a mining planet. Had he been able to leave with Herrix and Belfox, he would have been able to live there in comfort for the rest of his life. And let’s be real. Who wouldn’t want to choose a life of wealth and ease? This isn’t a movie, where the hero picks a life of poverty and misery just to stay with the heroine. Real life doesn’t work that way.
Why had Lud wanted to go? I don’t know. I may never find out the answer.
All I know is, they were going to leave without me, and now, they can’t. They’re stuck with me. I’m definitely second-best. As brutal as it is, I’m going to have to make my peace with being their backup option.
Not just for the baby. Because I can’t contemplate a world without them.
“It’s okay. You just took me by surprise.”
Xan clears his throat. “We’ll cook the detsena,” he says, sounding strained. “Are you going to be on the roof? I’ll bring your tea up as soon as the water boils.”
It’s always been easy between us. Right from the first day, when Lud had admitted that he was intimidated by the idea of wooing me. Even when we’d been flirting, there had been an underlying bond there, a sense that we were meant to be together. That this was our destiny…
PAST…
For our first date, we take a walk around the camp, and then, on our way back, Xanthox and Luddux take me to Zunix’s house. “Felicity needs clothes,” Xanthox says to the other Draekon. “Can you use your syn?”
“Sure,” Zunix replies. “You’re not the first of the day, and you won’t be the last.”
The syn is some kind of 3D printer that can make clothes. In less than thirty minutes, it makes me a whole new wardrobe. My favorite is a blue shirt that Xanthox selected. It’s the same deep blue color as Luddux’s eyes. The fabric is glittery and slightly sheer, and it has fluttery sleeves that seem to dance every time I move. It’s the prettiest, most impractical thing I’ve ever owned, and I love it.
The three men have a low-voiced conversation after the clothes are made, and from the stray words I catch, Xanthox and Luddux are arranging payment. “I don’t have any money,” I stammer, once we’re outside.
“The clothes are a gift, Felicity,” Xanthox says softly. “You honor us by wearing them.”
On our second date, we go for a swim in the lake. The Draekons swim naked, and I do a fair bit of discreet gawking. Especially at their cocks, which are, umm, impressive, and more than a little intimidating.
On our third date, we go fishing and cook our catch over an open fire on the banks of a lake. I lean against a tree, sipping lazily at the tea the Draekons make with a purple-leaved plant that grows on the banks of the lake. It tastes faintly like lemon and mint, and if I close my eyes and forget the crimson-tinged sky, I can almost forget that we’re on an alien planet. It’s quiet and peaceful and sitting there with Luddux and Xanthox next to me, I’m more content than I’ve been in a long time.
There’s no coffee, no Starbucks, no pizza and no flush toilets. At the start of this adventure, I was prepared to hate it here. But it’s growing on me, even the stifling-hot treehouse where the five of us crowd together to sleep every night, and the reason for my change of heart has everything to do with these two men.
For more than five minutes, none of us say anything. The only noise is the crackling of the wood as it burns. It’s still daylight, so the creepy crab-things are nowhere to be seen.
The silence stretches out, and finally, I break it. “Let’s play a game,” I say, wishing I was bold enough to lace my fingers in theirs. On Earth, every guy I went out with in our small town expected sex on the third date. I’m not ready to sleep with Luddux and Xanthox yet, but I wouldn’t mind a little above-the-waist petting.
Luddux raises an eyebrow. “A game?”
I nod. “There’s a game we play on Earth,” I tell them. “It’s called Two Truths and a Lie.”
Xanthox grins lazily, and my insides flutter. “I’d love to play some games with you, Felicity,” he says, the double-entendre clear.
My cheeks heat. Was that flirting? Should I move closer, or stay where I am? I thought dating was difficult back on Earth, but this is a whole new level of complicated. They’re Zorahn—well, Draekon—and our dating language is completely different. If I want them, I can’t give them signals. I need to be direct and tell them.
I’m not good at being direct, or indeed, at telling people I want them. That makes me feel too vulnerable. The last time I’d cared for someone, it had blown up in my face.
“The way the game works is that you tell us two true things about yourself and one falsehood, and the rest of us try to guess which one the lie is.”
Xanthox’s voice deepens. “What’s the reward if we guess correc
tly?” he asks, holding my gaze in his.
His eyes gleam when they rest on me, and hang on, is he checking me out? I furtively inch a little closer to them, and Xanthox puts an arm around my shoulder.
Oh. I lean against him, resting my head on his shoulder. This feels really good. Dangerously, addictively good. “You’re so little,” he murmurs.
“I’m stronger than I look.”
Luddux takes my hand in his. “I have no doubt of your strength,” he says. His thumb strokes my palm as he talks, and it sets tingles racing through my body. “When I got here, I was so angry. So bitter. I went into a funk, and I didn’t emerge from it for more than a year. I didn’t even bother to build a home for the first six months. I slept in a raft in the middle of the lake.”
Oh wow. I don’t know what to say. Luddux seems to sense my confusion because he squeezes my hand. “The game. You go first.”
I bite my lip as I think of two things about myself that aren’t too personal. I’m not ready to share the really intimate stuff yet. Maybe I never will be. “Okay.” I lift my hand and count off. “One: I love to cook. Two: I have three sisters. Three: I’ve wanted to travel my entire life, but I never did. Until now, of course. So, which one’s the lie?”
“Two.” Neither man hesitates.
So much for being inscrutable. “You’re sure?” I ask, wondering how they knew right away which statement wasn’t true.
Luddux nods. “It’s obvious in the way you hold yourself. You’re…” He hesitates, searching for the right word. “…self-contained.”
They’re good at reading people. Really good.
“How can you tell?”
His lips lift in a small smile. “I grew up in an orphanage.”
“Oh.” I take a deep breath. “I didn’t. I lived with my aunt and uncle. And my cousin Chloe.”
“But they didn’t treat you like family, did they?” Luddux guesses.
I don’t want Aunt Priscilla and Uncle Fred to intrude into this moment. It’s bad enough that Olivia is a dead-ringer for Chloe. “It’s your turn now,” I tell Xanthox.
He surveys me quietly for a second, and then he nods. “Of course. I love to run, and I run every day. I was a miner in Alvi, which is a planet a couple of sectors away from the homeworld. When I was younger, I broke both my arms and legs in a speed-skimming race.” He raises an eyebrow at me. “Which one’s the lie, Felicity?”
I chew on my nail as I contemplate his three statements. Given how fit he is, I can totally believe that he’s a runner. And from the twinkle in his eyes, I can see him as a dare-devil. Which leaves…
“You’re not a miner,” I guess.
He laughs. “I used to speed-skim all the time,” he says. “But I never crashed. Luddux’s turn now.”
I turn to Luddux. “After I came of age, I became a smuggler,” he says. “I’ve spent six months in an Adrashian prison. I wanted to be a healer when I was a child.”
I gaze at Luddux thoughtfully. Every one of his statements is plausible. The Draekons are pretty good at Two Truths and a Lie.
“I give up,” I say finally. “I don’t know which one the lie is.”
“I’ve never been in prison,” Luddux says, a cocky smile curling on his lips. “The Adrashians aren’t fast enough to catch me. It’s your turn again, Felicity.”
God. That smile. It does funny things to my insides. Makes me want to be bold, to do daring things...
I look around. We’re all alone, one of the advantages of living in a sparsely-populated prison planet. “There’s another variation of this game. It’s called Truth or Dare.” My cheeks heating, I explain the rules to them. “Wanna go first?” I ask when I’m done.
There’s a knowing gleam in their eyes. “Truth or dare, Felicity?” Xanthox asks.
“Dare.”
His lips lift in a sly smile, and my pulse starts to race. “I dare you,” he says slowly, “To touch yourself the way you imagine us touching you.”
Oh. My. God. Evidently, the Draekons can read my signals just fine. Maybe this isn’t so complicated after all. Maybe we’re meant to be together. Maybe it’s destiny.
8
Luddux
PAST…
I’m fishing by Lake Tuli, sleepy and content, when Belfox walks up. “May I join you?”
Strange. I’m Midborn. Belfox, who is Highborn, has never shown any interest in me until now. Unlike Dariux and Zunix, I don’t have tech.
I don’t want his company. I just want to lean back against a tree trunk, close my eyes, and think of the small human woman who has upended my life in the last three weeks. Felicity Rollins. What I don’t want to do is talk to a Draekon I’ve never had much use for.
Before the human women arrived in camp, I would have told him to go away. But Liorax is trying to get us to cooperate with each other. If not for your own sake, then for your mates, he said sternly.
I incline my head in agreement, and he sits down next to me. “I found something,” he says quietly, looking around to make sure that we’re alone.
If he’s going to talk, he will scare away the fish. There’s a kind that swims only in Lake Tuli, a green and blue creature about the size of my forearm. Felicity adores the taste of its flesh, and even if it involves sitting here all afternoon, I intend to catch one for her.
Perhaps if I pretend to be interested, he’ll go away quickly, and I can get back to fishing. “What was it?”
“A box. A diarmod box. Herrix and I opened it.” He pauses for emphasis. “It has tech.”
So what? Zunix and Dariux have tech. Tech might make our lives slightly easier, but it won’t allow us to escape from here. An asteroid belt surrounds the prison planet, and no ship can get through it unscathed.
“What kind?” I pose the question he obviously wants me to ask.
“There were a lot of parts,” he replies. “It was marked with a number. Seven. I’ve been thinking about it, and I’ve reached the conclusion that we’re meant to find at least seven of these boxes. But there was one thing you’d be interested in. A communicator.”
My heart stops beating for an instant. A communicator. For the first few years on the prison planet, I would have sold my soul for one. Some way to find out if she’s okay. My little baby, the one I couldn’t find or claim. My daughter Mar’vi.
Her mother was dead, her father exiled. She would have ended up in an orphanage. She would be grown now, just entering the prime of her life.
Felicity’s parents abandoned her, and that wound has stayed with my mate her entire life. Would it be the same with Mar’vi? Does she think that her father didn’t care? That he—I—made a choice to leave her to grow up alone?
I suddenly, desperately want to talk to her. To tell her how sorry I am that I wasn’t there. To explain that I would have come for her if I’d been able to. To tell her that there’s not a day that goes by that I’m not consumed with sorrow and regret.
“It’s not one equipped for a live feed, of course,” Belfox continues. “But you once told me that you’d do anything for a communicator, so naturally, when I found it, I thought of you.”
I don’t remember saying anything to Belfox. “I did?”
“A long time ago,” he replies. “You were drunk.”
I still don’t remember, but it doesn’t matter. “What do you want, Belfox?”
He gives me a sidelong look. “Your mate still lives with the other humans. You haven’t completed the mating bond.”
“There is no hurry.” My dragon disagrees, but the humans have been through enough, and I would never pressure a woman I care about. I want Felicity to choose us freely, because her heart is telling her to.
“In that case, for the moment, all I want is your silence. Nobody hears that I’ve found this.”
I frown. “Every single one of us was torn from our families,” I reply. “A communicator is a miracle, one that will help us reach out to the people we most care about. Why would you hide that you have it?”
“I have my reasons,” he replies. “If you tell anyone, I will destroy it.”
Belfox has been spending too much time around the bitter, poisonous Herrix, and it has changed him. He was always proud, too concerned with blood status, a relic from a world that no longer wanted us, but now, he’s crossed over into malice.
A chance to talk to Mar’vi, to try and make amends for sixty-five years of absence.
The rest of his words sink in. For the moment, all I want is your silence. “What else do you want?”
He gives me a piercing look. “Do I have your word that you’ll keep quiet about this?”
“I have no secrets from Xanthox or Felicity.”
“Xanthox you can tell,” he concedes. “But not the human. If she tells one of the others, who tells one of their mates… No. It’s too risky.”
I don’t like the idea of keeping secrets from her, but I nod reluctantly. “Fine.”
“I want your help finding the other boxes.”
“Of course.”
He rolls his eyes. “The boxes will be scattered all over the desert to the east,” he says. “You won’t be able to walk. You’ll need to fly.”
And in order to do that, Felicity, Xanthox, and I must complete the mating bond.
“You have a mate of your own,” I reply, thinking of the red-haired human that giggles a lot. “Why don’t you woo her?”
“A human?” His expression is disgusted. “I am a Highborn of Zoraht. No matter what the beast inside me insists, I’m not going to rut with her. I will not defile myself.”
For Caeron’s sake. Some of these Highborn are so rigid that they can’t see a miracle if it’s right in front of their faces. We’re Draekons, exiled for the rest of our lives to a prison planet. We’ve been sent to a bitter and hostile world, a world in which there are no women so that there’s no chance we can pass our defective genes on to a future generation. Belfox is clinging onto a past of glory, clinging to the rules of an Empire that has thoroughly rejected him.