by Elle Rease
“I was.” To some degree, anyway. “You can still call me if you need anything. I’ll keep my phone on me at all times and—”
“I think you’ve made yourself abundantly clear, Cinnia,” Joss said impatiently. She could be a real bitch when she wanted to. “Leave your things as they are: we’ll send your belongings via courier. Give Nancy your address on your way out.”
She was getting really tired of people interrupting her, but she let it go. She was putting Joss in a difficult position, after all. “Very well. Goodbye, Joss.”
“Goodbye.”
Striding out of the office with more confidence than she truly felt, she made her way to reception, where Brennan was telling Nancy a joke. Nancy was hanging onto every word coming out of Brennan’s delicious mouth. For a moment, Cinnia only stared, praying that she was doing the right thing.
“She never wants to see me again,” she announced, sidling up to Brennan. “I hope you’re happy.”
He grinned at her. “Extremely, lass.”
“Nancy, I need to fill in a form with my delivery address,” she said, rolling her eyes at him. She glanced at the receptionist. “And then I guess this is goodbye.”
“Wow,” Nancy breathed, “I’m really sorry to hear that, Cinnia.” She winked. “But I think we both know you won’t be regretting your decision.”
“I sure hope not,” Cinnia said, giving Brennan a sideways glance. She yelped when he gave her butt a squeeze.
“You know you won’t,” he told her.
“Arrogant bastard,” she muttered, accepting the page Nancy handed over and scribbling on it. She was surprised that she hadn’t forgotten her parents’ details. So much for leaving that life behind... She finished up and slid the paper back to Nancy. “Thanks.”
“Have a good trip, Cinnia.”
“I’ll keep in touch.”
She allowed Brennan to steer her outside, feeling like a completely different person. Feeling like herself for the first time in years.
Coming to an abrupt halt at the sight of his sexy Harley, Cinnia tried to see what’s changed. It took her a moment to realize that he’d added a more comfortable seat for a passenger. She felt a twinge of fury, wondering how many women have had the privilege of accompanying him to wherever. It sucked to see that he hadn’t been pining away for her.
“Catch.”
She blinked, confused, but caught the keys he chucked her way. “What’s this?”
“You can ride back.” He raised his eyebrow in challenge. “If you still remember how, that is.”
“You’re letting me ride your bike,” she clarified.
“You’re the only one allowed to.” He patted the driver’s seat. “Come on, then.”
On legs that have turned to jelly, she climbed on, assuming the weight of Brennan’s beast. Her legs strained: she was strong, but out of practice. He gave her a helmet that she donned immediately, that old paranoia of getting brain damage if she fell coming back at full force. She thanked him for his extra pair of aviators. It was going to be a long ride back and she would use whatever he could spare to make her more at ease.
She put the keys in the ignition as he took his place behind her. Briefly closing her eyes, she savored the vibrations filling her whole body. How could she have denied herself this lifestyle? It was a part of her, like the blood in her veins. She was such a fool for pretending otherwise.
“Ready, Cin?” he said in her ear.
“I think so.”
“Oh, boy. Easy does it, okay?”
She slowly let go of the clutch and opened the accelerator, attempting to ease out of the parking spot. To her horror, she stalled the motorcycle.
Brennan burst out laughing. “Oh, I probably should’ve mentioned that I’ve adjusted the clutch. It takes pretty easily lately.”
Blushing profusely, she restarted the engine and got out of the parking lot without further incident. It took a few blocks before she relaxed. Brennan didn’t have his arms around her, but she didn’t blame him: she wasn’t going fast enough to warrant that.
She beat down the whiny voice that craved his touch. She’s been without it for years and she’s survived. A couple of hours won’t kill her.
It was amazing how much different the world looked from a motorcycle, compared to a car. There was no radio or air-conditioning: she experienced her environment without a filter. It was incredibly freeing and tranquil. She’s missed riding.
As soon as they hit the highway, she went full throttle, prompting his strong arms to lock around her waist. She giggled like a little girl as she swerved between midday traffic. Because of the roar of the Harley’s engine, most of the passengers in the cars she overtook stared at them as they passed. She loved how powerful she felt.
Brennan tapped the top of her thigh, telling her to slow down.
In retaliation, she went even faster. Why should she care if he got a few speeding fines as they went along? He was basically kidnapping her, after all. Sure, she had agreed to it, but—
She gasped once his gloved hand rubbed over the sensitive spot between her legs. What the hell was he doing? His ministrations, coupled with the rumble of the Harley, was quickly bringing her arousal back to the forefront, appeasing the greedy lover she was turning out to be.
It took her a while to realize that he was warning her: if she didn’t decrease her pace, he wasn’t going to stop.
With a grin, she accepted his challenge. She wanted to see if he was able to fully distract her. He seemed to have forgotten how hard-headed she was. Together, the two of them have always been a little hazardous, since their temperaments were matched in every single way.
No wonder it had been impossible for her to be excited by another man. Brennan was her counterpart.
“Oh, shit,” she whispered once his other hand gripped her breast. He wasn’t playing fair! It’s not like she could wiggle her ass against his crotch in revenge! Reluctantly, she slowed down, hoping he would appreciate his victory enough to reward her later.
When he patted her stomach, she growled. She could only imagine how smug her reaction had made him. Nothing irked her more than knowing he’d won.
About an hour into the ride, they’d left the city behind and the Harley urgently needed refilling. She pulled over at a gas station, bringing the bike to a halt next to a pump. She stretched her fingers, wishing she had gloves.
“Not bad, lass,” Brennan said approvingly, getting off and standing next to her. “I was sure you’d forgotten the basics, but you’ve always been a good rider.”
How do you know? We’ve never even had sex!
She stretched her legs and shrugged. “I knew how to ride before I could walk.”
“You’re a Raptor, that’s for damn sure.” He opened one of his side panniers and took a piece of material out. “I got you something.”
Taking it from him, her breath caught at the beautifully designed patch. Brennan’s Old Lady, it read. It felt soft to the touch. She saw that it was exactly the size that was still available on her vest, and didn’t want to think about how much preparation had gone into obtaining it.
“Brennan, this is…” She trailed off, feeling as if anything she said would be taken the wrong way. “Thank you.”
He was confused by her response, but smiled easily enough. “Come on, let’s go have something to eat. I’m starving.”
Her stomach rumbled and she burst out laughing. “That’s the best idea you’ve had all day.”
“Oh no,” he argued, “the best idea was getting you to come.” He grinned and wriggled his fingers. “You know exactly what I mean.”
She blushed, biting her lip. Once the Harley was filled with gas, they parked at the restaurant and went inside. Brennan found them a secluded booth at the back and opened one of the windows. She salivated at the flex of his muscles, happy that he hadn’t worn a shirt under his vest.
“What can I get y’all to drink?” the waitress asked, avoiding eye-contact with Brennan.
Cinnia has always found people like this girl interesting. What was so wrong with a man covered in tattoos and piercings? He was still a human being, with red blood in his veins. He experienced emotions in exactly the same way.
Oh my God, you’re coming up for him, she thought idly.
“I’d like a strawberry milkshake,” Cinnia replied.
“Make it one of those big ones, with two straws and extra ice cream,” Brennan told the waitress, flashing her with a charming smile even she couldn’t resist.
“C-coming right up,” the waitress stammered.
“We’re sharing?” Cinnia asked him.
“We always used to.” He gave her a look. “Why, have you become a germ-o-phobe in the meantime?”
“No, not at all. It’s just…” She blushed self-consciously. “I, uh, haven’t shared with someone in a while.”
“God, Cin, what did you even see in that prick?”
She fidgeted with her hands. “Everything except you.”
“There must not have been a lot to go on, then.”
“There wasn’t,” she admitted, “but it worked for me. For a while, at least.”
He sat back, spreading his arms out and staring at her. His vest parted, showing those studs in his nipples again. “So, your tattoos.”
Why did she feel so damn nervous about him showing an interest in her body art? “What about them?”
“When did you get them?”
“I thought you knew everything about me.”
“Don’t be spiteful. You always promised you’d get your first one with me.”
“I was still angry with you.” She toyed with the knife and fork on the table. “Harold didn’t like that I wanted them, but I felt… empty without tattoos.”
“I’m glad they’re not the cliché tramp-stamps, at least.”
“They mean something to me.”
“I like the sparrows,” he assured her. “I’m not convinced about the other two.”
Cinnia shrugged. “It’s too late to change anything now.”
The waitress brought their milkshake and took their food order. Brennan leaned on the table, using his straw to scoop up some of the ice cream. Cinnia thought how perfect her world was right now: he had hurt her very badly in their past, yet she could recall all of their better days. He was very romantic for such a tough guy.
“Would you get a Raptors tattoo?”
She lifted a shoulder nonchalantly. “Let’s take it one step at a time, okay? This morning, I’d still been convinced I’ll never go back home.”
“One step at a time,” he echoed, staring into her eyes. “I can do that.”
“Oh God, I hope you’re not going to take that approach to our sex life again,” she muttered. “I’m a twenty-four-year-old woman, you know? Plus, not a virgin anymore.”
The straw bent in his grip. “Don’t remind me.”
“Does it really bother you that much?”
“Yes,” he answered dismissively.
“You’re not going to explain why?”
“Frankly, I don’t feel like it right now.” He pointed to the milkshake. “Drink up, Cin.”
“Brennan, the only way we can move forward is if we’re honest with each other,” she insisted, though she took a few sips.
“You have more to make up for than I do.”
Her good mood evaporated. “Why, because I left? You had sex with another woman!”
“We’ve been over this.”
“Yes, but that doesn’t mean I feel wanted!” She calmed her breathing. “Regardless of how ‘precious’ you thought I was, I would’ve given myself to you on a silver fucking platter, Brennan Drummond. Instead, you fucked my best friend. How am I supposed to feel, knowing you were attracted enough to her to do that?”
“Would it help if you knew I thought about you when I was with her?”
“No.” She dipped her finger in the milkshake to dig into the ice cream. “Yes. I don’t know.”
He scratched his stubble, contemplating that. “Okay, I think I understand where you’re coming from, since I wish you would’ve slept with me first, not him.”
“Thank you!” She let out a breath. “So, do I still have the most to make up for?”
“I suppose not.”
She wished she could celebrate this minor victory with a street party. “You hate being wrong, don’t you?”
“Don’t you?” he countered.
“Yeah, well, for once I win.”
“As long as you don’t tell any of the guys, I’ll let you have it.”
Smirking, she took a few gulps of the milkshake. The waitress brought their meals and Cinnia immediately began pouring ketchup over her fries. She noticed Brennan’s stare and sighed. “What?”
“I’ve forgotten how healthy your diet is,” he remarked dryly.
“Don’t judge me.” She stuffed her face with a few fries. He’d ordered a steak with steamed vegetables, which was an odd choice for a guy, but he was obviously watching his figure. She chuckled at the idea.
“Do you want to share?”
“Unless you’re going to explain why my virginity was such an issue to you, no.”
“Is,” he corrected.
“Well, what the hell, Brennan?”
He ate a few pieces of steak in silence, seemingly committed to those actions only. Then, just as she was about to lose her temper, he cleared his throat. “I’ve loved you since you were a little girl, Cinnia.” His blue eyes made contact with hers. “When you grew into a stunning young woman, my feelings for you matured and became… primal, I guess. You’ve always brought out the animal in me and I wanted to mark my territory. Knowing that someone else has been there first… Let’s just say it’s not exactly something that makes me sleep soundly.”
“I get that,” she nodded, polishing her burger in a few bites. She signaled the waitress for a milkshake refill. Then, turning her attention to Brennan, she said: “I knew that I would never be your first, since you’re older than me and you’re a guy, but I wanted to be. I wanted to get to know your body before you became VP of the club, before you became a hotshot.”
“My male pride wouldn’t have allowed that,” he smiled. “Believe it or not, lass, I aim to please. I was getting practice so I’ll be good enough for you.”
“You’re such an idiot.”
“Cinnia, you don’t know what you mean to me.”
She gestured to her body. “I’m just a girl, Brennan.”
“No, lass.” His presence alone was overwhelming; never mind the look he was giving her. “You’re the girl, the only one that’s ever mattered. Do you really think I would’ve stuck around if you didn’t mean the world to me?”
“Okay,” she mumbled, blushing, “but how could you have thought you’re not good enough for me? Brennan, my parents love you, my brother looks up to you. You’re successful and hot; smart and funny when you want to be. What more do I need?”
“Maybe I was so convinced that you needed some white-collar prick who could give you the white-picket fence suburban dream—”
“You’re an idiot,” she reiterated. “Why would I want that? I didn’t even grow up having that.”
He grinned boyishly. “So, I just disproved your smart-theory?”
“Did you not hear the ‘when you want to be’ part?” she teased.
“Cin, I’ve missed you.” He took her hand in his, watching how his thumb caressed her palm. “I need to know, right now, that you’re willing to give us another chance and that you’ll trust me. You haven’t said goodbye to your other life yet and I won’t be a happy man if you abandoned me again.”
She held her breath, knowing that he was right. She couldn’t do this half-assed, so was she ready to embrace the life she had resented because she’d been hurt? Would she be able to hand her heart over to him, with all that’s happened and the many years they’ve lived apart? How much has changed back home?
“Brennan, I’m sure everyone hates me—”<
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“I couldn’t give a fuck.”
“What I mean to say is, as VP of the Raptors, that puts you in an awful position. I don’t want to cause you any shit.”
“Then don’t leave me again.” He gave her hand a squeeze. “Yes, it’s going to be difficult for everyone to trust you again, but that goes both ways. You’ve missed out on a lot, and there are some members who see you as being dead to them.”
She flinched. “I guess I deserve that.”
“We’ve all made mistakes, lass, but yours really outweigh everyone else’s because you abandoned family. So yes, you’re right: it’s not going to be easy. It’ll be worth it, though, ‘cause we’ll have each other. You just have to promise me that you’ll let me handle stuff for you.” He gave her a serious look. “I’m not sexist and I’m proud that you’ve made a life for yourself, so don’t even go there. But I am the vice-president of the Raptors and you’re my old lady. Your problems are my problems, got it?”
She understood that. “Okay.”
“I’ll give you a few weeks to settle back in, where you can live and catch up with your parents, but thereafter I’d like for you to move in with me,” he went on. “And then you’ll have to start helping around the club. We’ve had to fire our accountant, so you can step right in. Sound good?”
“Brennan, it sounds like you’ve planned this for a very long time.”
He inclined his head. “Your father’s heart attack shifted the timeline up by a few days, but I was on my way over to you, anyway. I just couldn’t take it anymore.” He thanked the waitress for the new milkshake and took a sip. “Life doesn’t make sense without you, Cin.”
Blinking at the sudden moisture in her eyes, she cleared her throat and looked away. “Now I feel like I don’t deserve you.”
“Don’t,” was his eloquent response.
She got up. “Will you give me a second? I need the restroom.”
“Sure, lass. I’ll pay the bill and meet you outside.”
“Thanks.”
She scampered off to the bathrooms and went to one of the basins to splash water on her face. Then, breathing deeply through the emotional turmoil in her heart and mind, she raised her gaze to her mirror image.