by Amber Jacobs
“What? You mean, back to the States?”
“If you want me to.”
For a second, Ashley’s face filled with excitement, but then she paused. Leandra knew her well enough to see Ashley was forcing herself to think practically. “Leandra, I can’t ask you to do that.”
“Why not?”
“I just can’t, that’s all. I mean, you have friends here. What about Shar-Ranjana? What about the other tigers you protect?”
“There will always be poachers, Ashley. Just because I leave here doesn’t mean I have to stop helping these animals. As for Shar-Ranjana…” She shrugged sadly. “Just being here doesn’t mean I could save her forever. After all, I wasn’t able to save her family. But she’s smart. She stays hidden in the remote parts of the park, and the rangers do their job fairly well.” She tilted her head to the side, then added, “Besides, if Corbin survived, he’ll leave the jungle believing there is no white tiger, thanks to you.”
“Maybe he didn’t believe me.”
“He did. I could see it in his face when we fought—he was angry at wasting his time on a useless hunt. If he gets out of here, the word will spread and every poacher in the region will think the rumors are just lies. Shar-Ranjana will be as safe as she can be in this place, and it won’t much matter if I stay or leave.”
“But—”
Leandra halted any further arguments by pressing her fingers gently against Ashley’s lips. “I want to leave here,” she whispered with absolute certainty. “I’m ready. I want to be a part of your life.” Ashley stilled, meeting her steady gaze hesitantly. “Do you remember what you said to me about letting go of the past?” Leandra asked.
Ashley nodded.
“You were right. I can’t let the person I used to be stop me from becoming someone better. I’m ready to face the future now, as long as I do it with you by my side.”
Cautious hope spread like a sunrise across Ashley’s face. “So you’re sure about this? It’s a pretty big change, leaving the jungle to rejoin civilization. What if it doesn’t work out?”
“Then we’ll deal with it when the time comes.” Leandra glanced away, her eyes wandering to the jungle that had been her home for the last four years. “I don’t have any money,” she said hesitantly, acknowledging the difficulties of what they were proposing. “At least not with me, but—”
“Oh, Leandra, that doesn’t matter. You can stay with me. I have a big house with plenty of space. As long as you don’t mind a little extra company, that is. My niece, Casey, spends a lot of time there when I’m home.” She leaned forward and planted a quick kiss on Leandra’s painted cheek. “I don’t care how rich you are, or what you do. Just as long as you’re with me.”
“It’s not going to be easy,” Leandra warned gently. “I’ve been out here a long time. My head might need some time to adjust.” She studied her own striped flesh in the moonlight, embarrassed at even having to bring these points to light.
“We’ll take it slow,” Ashley promised. “You can have all the time you need.”
Leandra’s eyes were shy as she glanced up through the curtain of her tangled hair. “Thank you.”
Ashley’s forehead creased. “I can cover your plane ticket, but I don’t know about a passport or—”
“That’s okay,” Leandra interrupted, already having thought ahead. “I buried all that stuff when I first came back here. It might take a while—I never thought I’d need it again—but I think I could find it.”
“Really? Oh, God, I can just imagine what my sister will think when she sees you. Or my parents, for that matter. My family’s pretty used to hearing about my misadventures, so it takes a lot to surprise them.” Her eyes sparkled with mischief. “So…when can we get started?”
Leandra’s eyes gleamed. “In the morning. We’ll take a quick bath, then I’ll start putting my things together and saying my good-byes. If you can arrange the rest, I’ll be ready to leave by tomorrow.”
“Excellent.” Ashley chuckled aloud, threw her arms around Leandra’s neck, and hugged her tightly. “I can’t believe this! I mean, I wasn’t even willing to hope you’d want to come with me.” Her grin was impossibly wide. “This is going to be so perfect, Leandra, I promise. You and me, together.”
Leandra purred at the very thought. “Forever.”
“Forever.” Ashley claimed her lips in an ardent kiss, curling up against Leandra when they finally parted. “I can’t wait.”
“Mmm.” Leandra was silent for a long moment, feeling the warmth of the younger woman’s body against her own. “Ashley?”
“Yeah?”
Leandra’s eyes darkened. “Have you ever wondered what it’s like to make love under a waterfall?”
She felt a shiver run through Ashley’s slender frame, and knew it had nothing to do with the chill of the predawn air. “Um, not really.”
Leandra’s voice dropped to a throaty rumble. “Would you like to find out?”
Mahogany eyes instantly darkened. “Are you offering to show me?”
“I most certainly am.”
“It’s still dark outside,” Ashley observed coyly.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to keep ourselves busy until the sun comes up.” Leandra rose with feline grace and offered her hand to her lover. “Won’t we?”
Ashley quickly accepted the offered hand, stripping off her clothes as Leandra led the way back to the sleeping mat.
“She’s what?”
Ashley faced an incredulous Grady without flinching, having prepared herself for this little speech. She and Leandra had passed an extremely satisfying morning, spent mostly under and around the private waterfall, engaging in long sessions of lovemaking that only left Ashley wanting more. When their passions had been sated—if only for the moment—she had returned to her own camp, so she could prepare for their departure the following day.
Leandra had promised that she would be there early the next morning, ready to leave. Ashley didn’t know for sure what preparations the jungle-woman was making, but she respected that they needed to be made alone. For now, Ashley had to deal with her side of things.
“I told you, Grady, Leandra’s coming with us,” she repeated calmly, keeping her voice level and even. “What’s so difficult to understand?”
“Ashley…” Grady’s jaw worked. For a moment, he couldn’t decide which words to form first. “Are you joking? I mean, why would you even…You can’t just…” He shook his head, turning red as he tried to form a coherent sentence.
Ashley watched her vexed partner with a faintly amused smile. “I can. I have. It’s all taken care of. She’ll be here in the morning.”
“Will she talk with us?” Simon stepped forward, obviously nervous about interrupting the tense exchange. “It wouldn’t have to be much, just a few little pieces of information, you know? Anything that might help us.”
Ashley smiled reassuringly at the pleasant, balding man. “I’m sure she’ll be happy to answer a few questions, just as long as you’re nice about it. Don’t try to push her on personal stuff.”
Simon nodded his head vigorously. “Of course. I wouldn’t dream of being intrusive.”
“Just remember, she’s not used to being around people, okay? She’ll probably be a bit edgy until she gets the hang of social interaction again.”
“Edgy?” Grady gestured wildly with his arms. “This woman is a killer, Ashley, or have you conveniently forgotten that fact? How do you know she won’t snap and try to kill us all?” He glanced over to Tarun, but the Indian guide held up his hands, unwilling to get involved.
“Leandra’s perfectly safe,” Ashley insisted. “She’s a little rough around the edges, but she’s very gentle at heart. Just because she’s a danger to the poachers doesn’t make her a danger to me, or to us.”
“This is crazy.” Grady continued to fume. “Why on E
arth would you want to drag her back with us? This is so unlike you, Ashley.” That comment earned him a very amused raised eyebrow. “Okay, scratch that. This is exactly like you. But it’s still stupid.”
“What’s so stupid about it?” Ashley demanded, planting her hands on her hips. “The fact that Leandra wants to rejoin a society she hasn’t seen in four years, or that I’m willing to help her?” Steel shone in her eyes. “Tell me, Mister Judgmental, what do you think I should do? Turn my back on her? Just leave her out here so she can slowly go insane?”
Grady studied his feet. “That’s not what I’m saying.”
“Isn’t it?”
“No. I just think you’re rushing into things, that’s all. I mean, you’ve only known this woman for a short time, for God’s sake.”
“I know enough about her to realize that Leandra’s a wonderful, loving, and gentle person,” Ashley stated firmly. “I’m not going to abandon her. She deserves the chance to live a normal life.”
“Think about that for a moment. Where’s she going to stay when we get back to the States? How will she survive?”
“Simple. She’ll stay with me, and I’ll support her until she gets back on her feet.”
“You’ll do what?”
“It’s my decision, Grady, not yours.” Ashley took two steps closer to her partner, her posture stern and strong. “Leandra’s going to be a part of my life from now on. You’d better get used to that fact quickly, or I’m afraid we won’t be able to work together in the future. And I don’t want that.”
“I can’t believe this, Ash. How can you even… Wait a minute.” Grady seemed to catch up with her statement, and his eyes narrowed. “A part of your life? What exactly do you mean by that?”
“I mean Leandra and I are going to be together a lot from now on,” she said softly. “You’re a smart man, Grady. You figure it out.”
There was a long period of awkward silence while everyone in the camp looked anywhere but at the two partners.
Grady blinked in surprised, clearly struggling to process this latest information. “So you and she are…”
Ashley nodded. “Is that a problem?”
“Well no, not a problem, I just…” Grady cleared his throat and looked away, clearly not knowing how to take this. “I didn’t know you…” He waved his hand.
“Neither did I.”
Grady considered. “This explains a lot, I guess. At least I know now why you’re spending so many nights with her.”
Ashley flushed a little angrily at her partner’s tone. “What we do together is none of your business,” she stated. “The fact remains that when we leave here, we’re taking her with us. She had a few things to do before we leave—saying good-byes and getting her stuff together—but she promised to be here in the morning.”
Grady still looked stunned by Ashley’s sudden coming out. “What about a plane ticket?”
Ashley relaxed a bit at her partner’s concession. “We’ll have time to get an extra one for her. Don’t worry about anything. I’ll cover her fare.” She paused, eyeing him sternly. “You don’t have to like this, Grady, “but if you really are my friend, you’ll at least make an effort to be civil to her. Okay?”
Grady gave a long-suffering sigh, but he nodded. “Fine.”
“Good. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” Ashley said as she met the gazes of the others, each in turn, “I have some things of my own to get straightened out before we head off. Give a yell when dinner’s ready.” So saying, she marched purposefully toward her own tent. In her peripheral vision, she noticed Simon lean closer to Grace and heard him say in a loud whisper, “I wonder…”
Grace raised an eyebrow. “About what?”
“About who exactly a woman living out here all alone would have to say good-bye to.”
In a remote part of the park, far from the trails and tracks left by the rangers and tourists, Leandra stood before a neat row of three tall stones that lay half-buried in the earth. Sitting at her side like a giant ivory statue, Shar-Ranjana watched her with an air of primitive understanding. Here, as nowhere else in the jungle, the animals were silent. Here, nowhere else, sound seemed out of place. Even the trees seemed reluctant to disturb the tranquility, and made only hushed murmurs in even the strongest winds.
Leandra smiled down at the great white tigress, tears already pricking at the corners of her eyes. Shar-Ranjana nuzzled her hip affectionately, sniffing with distaste at the unfamiliar scents that clung to her human sibling. Gone was the intricate pattern of stripes that had covered Leandra’s powerful frame. Gone were the tiger-fur top and skirt. In their place, Leandra wore a sleeveless khaki shirt and loose cotton trousers cinched at the waist with a leather belt. Her feet were still bare. She’d tried to wear her boots, but found them restrictive and uncomfortable. The clothes felt strange against her body, yet at the same time struck chords of familiarity deep inside. She’d taken them from a poacher more than a year ago, stashing them with her supplies to be used as rags. She’d never seriously considered the possibility that she would ever actually wear them.
Then again, she’d never thought to leave this place.
Leandra sighed and reached out, running her hand along the cool surface of each stone in turn. Remembered images of Shar-Tushar, his mate, and his son flashed before her eyes, and with them, memories of the night she’d brought their bodies here to bury. The night she’d lost her family all over again. Grief, regret, and longing rolled over Leandra, but where the anger had been, there was now only a sense of peace. She knew her decision was right.
“I thought this place would be my home forever,” she said softly. “I thought I’d live out here until the jungle killed me.” Her eyes went to the largest of the three stones, and she smiled sadly. “I thought that was the reason you let me live, all those years ago. So I could pay for the lives I’d destroyed by giving up my own. But I was wrong, wasn’t I? You let me live so I could learn from what I’d been. So that one day, maybe, I could forgive myself and find my place in the world again.” Her smile grew wistful. “Well, it took a while, but I did it.”
Leandra felt Shar-Ranjana nudge her again, and she scratched the great cat fondly between her ears. “I think you would have liked Ashley,” she continued. “She’s gentle, kind, and beautiful, and she loves me.” Leandra shook her head in wonder. “I don’t know why, or how. But I can see it in her eyes and feel it in her touch. I know that I want to be near that forever.”
Tears were falling freely now, blurring her vision. Leandra sniffled and wiped her nose. “I’ll never forget you,” she promised hoarsely. “And I’ll never forget the debt I owe. There are other ways for me to make up for what I was, ways that will still let me be a part of Ashley’s life. But I promise, you’ll always be a part of me…forever.”
From the pocket of the shirt, Leandra produced a short length of plaited hair, tied at both ends with strong leather twine. One third of the plait was dark and thick, taken from one of her own braids. Another was made from Ashley’s pale tresses. The third was a marriage of the two, twisted together to form a single strand. Laying a soft kiss on the token, Leandra placed it solemnly on the ground before the stone marker.
“I’ll come back someday,” she whispered, her throat closing over the words as she choked back a sob. “This isn’t really good-bye. But I have to go, and I won’t be around so much anymore, so you’ll have to watch over Shar-Ranjana for me.” One hand burrowed into the thick fur of the tigress, clutching with desperate strength. Shar-Ranjana, seeming to understand the needs of her companion, accepted the rough treatment without issue. Leandra lowered her head a moment, letting a tangled curtain of hair cover her face as she composed herself. Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, she looked up through her messy braids at the stone.
“I know I’ve said it a thousand times before,” she whispered, “and I know you understand. But I nee
d to say it one last time. I’m sorry.” Bitter tears stung her eyes, and Leandra’s jaw trembled. “I’m sorry I couldn’t protect you when it mattered the most. I’m sorry you had to die.” She lowered her head again, listening to the strange silence and feeling the spirit of the great white cat soothe her grief with his presence.
For a long time, Leandra knelt before the three graves in silence, unmoving, feeling the warmth of Shar-Ranjana beside her. Then, standing, she turned and walked away.
Leaving behind the heart of one life, to begin another.
Chapter 5
When the stars threw down their spears,
And water’d heaven with their tears,
Did he smile his work to see?
Did he who made the Lamb make thee?
—”The Tyger” by William Blake
With an exaggerated grunt, Ashley tossed the neatly rolled bundle that moments ago had been her tent into the back of the ranger Jeep, along with the rest of her supplies. Flashing a quick smile toward the men who were helping load the camping gear, she took a moment to wipe the sweat from her face with her forearm. It was another steamy day in the Indian wilds, and she was feeling sticky and bedraggled already, her loose tank top clinging annoyingly to her lithe frame. As much as she was going to miss India, Ashley was now really looking forward to getting back home, where she planned on taking a nice long shower, preferably one that included a certain tall, drop-dead gorgeous jungle-woman.
A jungle-woman who was, she noticed, running late.
Ashley didn’t want to get all nervous—didn’t want to focus on the nagging sense of fear that had been growing in her all morning—but Leandra had promised to be here early, and so far, she hadn’t put in an appearance. The gear was almost all loaded. Grady was accepting a little help from one of the burly rangers to lift the final heavy chest containing their more fragile camera equipment. As Ashley watched, the two men carefully set their burden on the back seat of the second of three Jeeps that had arrived at first light. The campsite was empty now, the scattered ashes and scorched earth from their campfire the only lingering evidence of their presence here. As her companions began claiming their seats for the ride out, Ashley felt their eyes all turn to focus on her. She frowned and cast her gaze at the jungle, willing Leandra to appear.