Fighting For You

by Megan Noelle

  “You’ve got it bad, Babe.”

  “Yeah, I know.”

  Moments later, Corey was back with a steaming mug of hot chocolate, a scoop of cream on top and a Rolling Rock for Gabby.

  “Know what you ladies want?”

  “Well, I’ll go with your chicken Caesar salad, extra croutons. Oh, and a water with lemon.” Corey smirked and nodded.

  “Sure, what about you bab … Dani.” He cleared his throat, as though that would erase the way he almost slipped out with calling me baby.

  “Bacon cheeseburger and fries.”

  “You got it,” he nodded. “Alex, you need anything before I go in the back?”

  “Another beer.” I watched Corey as he moved around the bar, grabbed a beer and uncapped it for Alex. Alex reached out to take it, but Corey kept a firm grip and leaned in. He muttered something under his breath but the soft sound of his tense voice made me very curious about what was being said.

  “Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Alex replied and waved him away. Corey sighed; probably realizing whatever he said fell on Deaf ears before he headed off to the kitchen. The instant the door swung shut Alex was on his feet and headed our way.

  “Mind if I join you?” he asked.

  “Not at all,” Gabby answered, fluttering her eyelashes for good measure. I kept my spot in the middle of the booth, forcing Gabby to be the one to slide over and give him room. It wasn’t as if I wanted to be mean to the man, but Corey and I had enough issues to work through without me getting cozy with what I assumed to be his friend.

  She moved over and Alex scooted in, throwing his arm around the back of the booth.

  “So, you’re the woman that broke my man’s heart.” It wasn’t a question, so I chose to ignore it.

  “How do you know Corey? I’ve never seen you around or even heard of you before.” I snapped back. I’m sure Alex wasn’t trying to be quite the douche I was feeling he was, but I also didn’t enjoy the way he spoke so openly about such personal stuff.

  “Retract those claws, sweet thing. I don’t mean to be insulting - let me rephrase. Danielle, I’m Alex, Corey’s best friend of a long time. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand to me and I accepted.

  “Nice to meet you.” From the corner of my eye I saw Gabby shoot me a look and I knew it was time to be her sidekick.

  “This is my best friend, Gabriella. I’ve known her for a long time too.”

  “We’re practically family.” Gabby chimed in with a smile. Without hesitation Alex cast his attention to her and flashed her with what I was sure was his panty dropping smile.

  “That’s beautiful. I know how it goes. I met my man, Corey, a long time ago when I was in town here at this bar. The night was slow getting going and the two of us spent the evening bullshitting. So, few hours later when shit was really packed and a bar brawl broke out between Corey and some drunk fucks, I jumped in. Helped him fight the crowd down and got shit under control. There’s solidarity between men if you have each other’s backs and from day one—we have.”

  “Well, then where have you been? I don’t remember seeing you the last time I was in town.” Alex nodded his head, taking a long pull of his beer. It took everything in me not to laugh when I saw Gabby lick her lips as she watched Alex’s bobbing Adam’s apple.

  He put the beer down and Gabby quickly turned her attention away. Distracting herself, she took an even longer pull of her beer.

  “I come and I go.”

  “What do you do?” I pressed on, unable to stop the small interrogation on Corey’s “best friend”.

  Maybe it was because I was a protective person. Or perhaps because my mother-to-be the defensive instincts were already kicking in. Then again, it could be because I was feeling a little jealous that someone else had claimed the title as Corey’s best friend, especially since that’s what I considered myself. This just proved I was wrong to think that and incredibly mistaken to believe he thought that was who I was to him.

  “Little bit of this, little of that.” Alex was clearly a pro at making everyone feel a part of the conversation. While his gaze was trained on mine, he kept his arm behind the bench and angled his body to include her. Something immediately told me this guy was a complete and total player. I wanted to warn Gabby about Alex’s ways, but I had no doubt she knew and more than likely didn’t care.

  “Aren’t you just a man of mystery?” Gabby chimed in.

  “Well, everybody loves a good mystery,” he said with a smirk.

  Gabby tossed her hair and responded, but I tuned it out. I rested my head on my hand, letting my eyes scan over the door to the kitchen. He felt so far away even though he was just on the other side of the door. I couldn’t walk in and hold him like I used to. He wasn’t jumping onto the bar counter to kiss me for all to see. Instead, I was forced to be patient and respectful, hoping to get a clue that we weren’t completely over and that I could salvage this, but I knew it would take time.

  You can’t break a man’s heart and then get it back in the blink of an eye. I hated myself now though for not protecting it the way I should have - as if that was the most important thing I’ve ever had a hold on. Because that’s exactly what it was. I had the best guy in the world at my beck and call and I blew it. This awkward, uncomfortable feeling was one I deserved.

  Before I knew what was happening, I was on my feet and headed to the kitchen door. Gabby’s voice registered behind me, but I was determined. I was completely zoned in on the man beyond the door and I knew I needed to do something. No longer could I sit around like a fool and hope for the best. It was time to take control of my own life—starting now.

  My shaky hand pushed the swinging door open and I slowly walked in. Corey’s back was to me as delicious smells held me captive.

  “You better not be annoying the fuck out of them,” Corey called out without turning around.

  “Well, I certainly hope not, but who knows,” I replied. He suddenly whipped around, giving me a look that said he couldn’t believe I was back there.

  “Shit, Dani! I’m sorry. I thought you were Alex.”

  “Ouch,” I said with a smile. Nothing about what was on the tip of my tongue was carefree so I tried as desperately as I could to keep it light. Plus, I didn’t need to break down in tears before I even got the chance to say what I wanted to.

  “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it that way,” I smiled.

  “I know. It’s okay,” he nodded, running a hand through his dark hair. I longed to do the same. I missed the feel of my hands on him, the stubble from his beard tickling my fingers, the soft and silky hair before he had a chance to run gel through it. It was those early morning hours when no one but me saw him that I missed the most. He didn’t prepare himself a certain way and neither did I. It was just us, and that was the way I loved it.

  “This is weird, isn’t it?” Corey asked. I bit down on my lip, hoping to prolong the inevitable tears as I nodded in agreement.

  “It is.”

  My arms were wound tightly around my stomach, letting the comfort of my little one give me strength during this moment.

  “I’m sorry,” I blurted out. “For last night. For testing you. You were right—I had no right doing that to you.”

  Corey’s hand massaged the back of his neck as he looked from the ground back up to me.

  “I’m sorry for yelling at you.” My head was shaking before he finished his thought.

  “No, you have absolutely nothing to apologize for! So don’t start! I’m the one with every reason to beg for forgiveness in so many ways.”

  His eyes softened as I saw the look I’ve seen a million times before appear on his face. It was the same one he got every time he wanted to protect me from something. Most times in a situation like this, he would close the distance and make it all better—but this time he didn’t move.

  I was revved up, ready to spill out a solid confession of apology but it never came out. Instead I sighed, letting my shoulders slump down in def
eat.

  “I am so sorry for hurting you.”

  He shook his head. “Dani …” I knew what was coming—it’s okay, you didn’t hurt me. But he stopped and hung his head. We both knew whatever he was going to say would only be a lie.

  “I’m sorry, too,” he finally managed to say.

  Me feet were planted into the ground and my knees shook. I couldn’t decide whether I wanted to stay or run. Corey suddenly moved a couple steps towards me. My breath caught in my throat and I refused to blink in fear of missing whatever was happening. His hand reached out to me, slowly, giving me every opportunity to back away, but I didn’t. Then, with ease and gentleness, his hand brushed against the side of my face, cupping my cheek, triggering every nerve and making the hairs on the back of my neck stand.

  Being this close to him was everything I wanted, but it was killing me at the same time. My eyes locked onto his jaw, lips, cheeks and chin—anywhere but his eyes. If I did, I knew I would lose all control. That is, until he opened his mouth to speak.

  “I miss you so much, Danielle.” His voice was thick and laced with every ounce of pain that he was feeling. The tears I felt approaching now openly flowed down my cheeks. His thumbs caressed them away, holding my gaze.

  The whites surrounding his piercing blue eyes slowly turned red as he, too, forced back tears.

  “I miss you too,” I sobbed out.

  “But I can’t just jump back into this, Danielle. You hurt me so badly and I need to know that you’re not going to do that again.” I nodded against his hand.

  For the second time ever, I saw Corey shed a couple beautiful, glistening tears. It was my selfish, foolish heart that caused him pain. I had to promise myself right here and now, if this man ever shed another tear over me—it would not be due to hurt. I would never let that happen again.

  “I understand,” I whimpered out. Corey nodded and released my face from his grasp. Immediately, I ached for him. Before I realized what I was doing, I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face into his chest and breathed deep as sobs raked through my chest. He hesitated for a minute before folding me within him. I let his strength hold me up, the way it had since I first met him.

  I inhaled deeply, steadying my breathing so I could speak once again.

  “I’m not going anywhere this time. I promise you, I’m here for good.”

  Chapter Seven

  I left the kitchen and made a bee line for the bathroom. I made quick work of drying my eyes, doing my best to make sure I didn’t go out there looking as red and splotchy as I did when I went in. I squeezed my eyes shut to force out the last of the tears, willing back my self-control. My hands pressed against the counter of the sink, my reflection staring back at me. For the first time, I felt that I was seeing myself for the person I truly was - scarred, broken and terrified. But what scared me most in that moment was that I had lost Corey. That all my pushing finally paid off and in the worst way possible.

  “Please! Don’t let him move on,” I pleaded with the mirror, as if some magical Mary Poppins would pop up and make it all better.

  Only I could do that. Hopefully.

  Right now I needed a big hug, but here was only one pair of arms I craved. I knew I couldn’t just hold onto him forever, despite the fact that was all I wanted. I knew I could go to Gabby, but this was not the place because, knowing her, she would immediately snap into protective friend mode.

  So, for now, I needed to suck it up and act like the stable woman I so frequently wasn’t. I finally got my courage up to leave the bathroom and, once I did, I saw the food sitting at the booth. Alex and Gabby chatted animatedly and Corey was behind the bar, mixing drinks for a couple new customers. His eyes immediately found me and I knew that because I was staring like a fool.

  Without missing a beat of drink mixing he mouthed, Are you okay?. I nodded and gave my most reassuring smile. The door opened and I registered someone else entering the bar, but it wasn’t until I heard a familiar voice that I turned to see who it was.

  “Well, well well! Look who has returned!” Standing at the door with a big goofy grin on his clean-shaven face was Sanders, Corey’s right hand man and a brother figure to both Corey and me. When Corey and I were going through some of our worst moment’s the last time I was here, it was Sanders that kept me sane.

  I didn’t realize just how much I missed him until then. Before I knew it, my legs were carrying me as fast as possible until I slammed into him. We stumbled back a step, but he held on tight, laughing against the side of my head.

  “Well, I missed you too, Dani!”

  I nodded into his shoulder as response. That seemed to tell him that I needed him more than I could verbalize. His arms wound a little tighter around my back and he leaned his lips closer to my ear.

  “Are you doing okay, Hun?” Once more I nodded. This time he pulled back to get a better look at my face to see how badly I was lying.

  “I’m okay,” I reassured us both.

  “You have been very missed,” Sanders said, making sure to shoot his eyes in Corey’s direction so there was no question about what he meant.

  “I’m missed you guys too,” I whispered back.

  “Are you just passing through town?”

  “No, I moved home.” Sanders smiled and pressed a soft kiss to my forehead.

  “Welcome back. Can I grab you something to drink?”

  I shook my head. “No, thanks. I have something. I’m here with my friend Gabby for lunch.” Sanders released me from his grasp and waved towards my table.

  “Alright. Let me know if you need anything.”

  “I will.”

  “Get your ass to work, Sanders,” Corey called out. Sanders rolled his eyes with a smirk.

  “Been here for thirty seconds and he’s already cracking the whip.” He said to me in a stage whisper. “On it, Boss Man.”

  He gave me a pat on my shoulder before heading off to start his shift. I finally decided I was able to return to the booth and keep myself together enough to eat.

  When I sat down and saw Alex and Gabby talking, I wondered if they even knew I was gone. Alex turned his attention to me and nodded towards my plate of food.

  “Fries are getting cold, but I’m sure all you’d have to do is snap your fingers and Core would get you a new plate of them.” I shook my head, allowing my irritation to show at his amusement. Maybe this was just a part of Alex’s personality, the constant jokester, but I was not having it right now - especially not if he was going to joke around about Corey and I.

  “They taste just the way I like them.” Gabby caught my eye and she too mouthed to me, Are you okay? I gave a sideways smile and shrugged.

  “Alright, Ladies. Please excuse me but I need to get going. Enjoy your lunch.” He scooted out of the booth and turned first to me. “It was truly a pleasure meeting you, Dani.”

  “You, too,” I replied, forcing a smile to the surface. Then he turned to Gabby, reached out and brushed a fallen strand of her hair off her face.

  A twinge of jealousy attacked my heart. It wasn’t that I was upset that Alex was touching Gabby; it was because I missed that same relationship. I longed for the carefree touches, lingering glances and the ability to reach out and grab him whenever I wanted. Now, though, because of me, I was left calculating every move I made and hoping nothing I did drove him away even further. All the while, I had to try to find the right time to tell him about it.

  Lord, I really was a fool, wasn’t I?

  “I’ll see you later, Gabriella,” Alex said with a wink before walking away from us. I turned my attention to my plate of food, while Gabby leaned over to watch him walk away.

  “How would you rate him?” I asked with a smile.

  Gabby’s lips turned up in a smirk as she let out an exaggerated sigh. “Perfect ten. That man is hot and that ass—whew!”

  “So, you’re going to see him later?” She shoved a bite of salad into her mouth and nodded.

  “He wants to meet
up here for drinks later, if you don’t mind.”

  “Of course I don’t. Please just tell me you at least realize that Alex is a total player.”

  Gabby waved her hand dismissively. “Well, duh! You don’t think I sniffed that out the second we walked through that door?”

  I shrugged. “Just saying is all.”

  “Hey! You could totally come with me tonight!” My head was shaking before she got the words out.

  “No way. I don’t need to be third wheeling it tonight.”

  “Oh, come on! You know you won’t be! Plus, Corey will almost definitely be here—right?”

  I nodded, but chose not to reveal that that was part of the reason I didn’t want to come at all. On a few different occasions I was witness to the flirtatious bartender. At the time I had a claim on him and could say whatever I wanted and knew it would be me lying next to him. Now, that was nothing but the past - nothing but a fading memory.

  “No, thanks. Not really my scene. Plus, I think I’d like to curl up in front of my fire tonight.”

  “Okay, but the invitation is open.”

  “I appreciate that.”

  “By the way, how did things go?” Her eyes shifted towards the bar and back to me.

  I sighed.

  “He doesn’t hate me.” This was all I wanted to give as an answer today.

  Gabby smiled and placed a hand on my forearm, giving me a comforting squeeze.

  “That’s a start.”

  “I guess you’re right.”

  “Trust me, I am.”

  *~*~*~*~*

  We finished eating and eventually returned home. Corey and Sanders were both busy with customers when we left. I waved, Corey waved back and for just a moment in his eyes I thought I saw something that gave me hope. Then there was a look of sorrow that our moment for the day was over. That this was all we had and maybe this was all we were meant to have.

  Gabby and I spent the evening watching movies curled up in the living room and, of course, talking about our lunch. I didn’t offer up too much about what happened with Corey in the kitchen. I wanted to hold that instant close to my heart and not share it with anyone. Lucky for me, Gabby had plenty to say about her new ‘friend’, Alex. I also noticed that I didn’t get as irritated with the man through her stories, making me wonder if my original irritation with him was all because of my need to protect Corey. That was beyond ridiculous because he was a grown man that could most definitely take care of himself.