by Megan Noelle
“Please, I don’t have time for this shit. Just get to it. The last time you were here you said you just needed a place to crash for a few days and a little money to get your feet back on the ground. I handled both, yet here you are again.”
She gave a resigned sigh. I waited for her to proceed as she reached over to the night stand, grabbed a cigarette and an ash tray, and returned to her spot. With her legs crossed in a pretzel style, she lit up and inhaled a long drag. Since I’ve known her, she has always preferred to smoke in the center of the bed. It was disgusting and I hated it, but I didn’t have the energy to fight her on that tonight, too.
“What’s your problem lately, Corey? The man I used to know loved to help and didn’t try and make someone feel like shit for asking.”
I didn’t bother hiding my eye roll. The queen of manipulation apparently never rested. “I don’t have a problem. I just want to go back to my life and stop supporting yours.”
She nodded her head while she inhaled another hit. The music from earlier must have hit the end of its playlist since the room was so quiet I was able to hear the paper of the cigarette burn up with each drag.
“Ouch,” she responded.
There were only so many ways I could beg for her to answer my questions about what she needed. Clearly, she still felt the need to control whatever part of the conversation she could. So I stopped asking and I waited. Jazmin took drag after drag. Sometimes she sat silently, contemplating what her next move was, while other times she looked to be singing words of a song that only she could hear.
In the silence surrounding us, I couldn’t help but examine the woman I was once sickly infatuated with. The first time we met, it was at the first party either of us had been to at this guy Bobby’s house. I knew Bobby’s cousin from working together at this auto body shop and my friend, whose name I could no longer remember, told me Bobby’s parties were the place to be. I went and, right away, I noticed that there was something different about the place and atmosphere. There was tons of booze but that wasn’t all—it didn’t take long before I realized that Bobby was a dealer of heroin.
I had never done it nor had I wanted to, but that quickly changed.
I met Bobby and immediately we hit it off. He was a fucking riot and was a surprisingly well-read dude. We had a few drinks and talked for a good portion of the night until he asked me to come to the basement with him. That’s when I saw a totally different kind of party. By this point, I was good and wasted, making me more willing to try something dangerous. That was when I met Jazmin.
She had her legs tucked underneath her, sitting on a couch that had gone yellow from smoke damage. I later learned that Jazmin’s friend was Bobby’s girl—one of many. We were drawn to each other and that was the night we both tried heroin for the first time. We spent the rest of the night talking and drinking. Later, we found an empty mattress upstairs and went at it until we couldn’t move. That became a nightly ritual until, one night, it was made official that Jaz was considered my girl.
Back then Jaz was sexy as hell - thick thighs and hips, great rack and this undeniably sexy way about her. Now when I looked at her, she just looked wrong. Her cheeks were hollowed in and her body was nothing but a stick (minus the part she paid to get enhanced). If only she looked like this when I met her, I would have never got mixed up with her disastrous ass in the first place.
Jazmin put her second cigarette out in the ash tray in front of her, looked up at me, and was finally ready to answer.
“After I left here I had a place lined up. I took the money you gave me and I was gonna make shit right. I was given a second chance and I wasn’t gonna screw it up, ya know?”
I gave a curt nod. I’ve heard this more times than I could count from her. It was also the way she made me feel sorry for her in the past. I was the one who got out of that hell hole and I was the one who worked like hell to make sure I didn’t waste any more of my life. Every day was a struggle and a fight to not return to that lifestyle, but I did it. No one understood the personal hell I suffered through each and every day to get my life back. To this day it, pissed me off to no end when Jazmin used that as her excuse to make me feel sorry for what she was going through.
I couldn’t just say that all to her either - it’d go in one ear and out the other. So I let her continue her sob story uninterrupted.
“Well, I tried Corey. I really did. But when I went back over to Bobby’s, he said he had a room for me. I’d give him a little rent money and help with groceries and we’d be squared away.” She shook her head and looked toward the ceiling, looking for some sort of answer. “He said he wasn’t dealing anymore, Core.”
It was the almost inaudible catch in her throat and the slight dampness behind her eyes that told me this was serious. Jazmin’s approach was naturally terrible when telling a story, but this time I could only imagine the kind of trouble she was in.
Bobby had been many things when we knew him. He was the life of the party, bit of a player, hilarious, easy to get along with and a dealer that loved to share. Until you got on his bad side. It didn’t take long to learn how dangerous Bobby could be. He had a lot of friends that had his back no matter what went down. That was one of the things that made people respect him right off the bat.
But Bobby wasn’t stupid and he wasn’t just the laid back guy he came off as. If you owed him anything, he would follow you, threaten you, and little by little destroy parts of your life until he got what he wanted. My issues with Bobby came from the fact that he eventually made me his right hand man and, while I was out in shady parts of town doing drug deals, he was hooking up with Jaz. All hell broke loose, but that was the thing I needed to finally wake up after all those years.
Before I walked away from it all, I begged and pleaded with Jaz to come with me. I told her we could get out and get clean together. That we were meant for more than this shitty life and losing ourselves in H, while trusting people that were not meant to be trusted. She chose to stay and, more than once, it has almost cost Jaz her life.
My hands plunged through my hair with my built up frustration at this woman and her stupidity.
“Christ, Jaz! What the fuck were you thinking!? I did not give you money to go back into that fucking life again!”
She started visibly shaking as she lit up another cigarette to calm her nerves.
“I’m not you, Corey. I can’t just say I’m done—it’s not that easy!”
I stood up and looked down on her and steam poured from my ears as I continued yelling.
“You’re damn right it isn’t easy, Jazmin! But you are a fucking coward! I have helped you countless times over the years. I have given you everything you’ve needed to walk away, but you always fucking go back! I don’t know how you expect me to deal with your shit now! This isn’t like a fucking bully at school that I could go tell to knock it off. Bobby is bad news, Jaz! And you know that better than anyone!”
“Jesus, Corey, I know!”
I was pacing around the room before I realized what I was doing. I was pissed that she couldn’t do what I did, but I was furious that she was including me—again! It was bad enough when it was just my life at risk of being turned upside down but now, it wasn’t just me. In five months, I was going to be a father and I had a woman in my life that I loved. I would die if anything happened to either of them. Now, by pure association to me, Dani was in danger and she had no idea.
“What did you do, Jaz?! What happened?”
Her eyes darted around the room before her hands began to tremble as she fumbled with the lighter to spark yet another cigarette.
“Well, at first Bobby shared some with me. He offered it to me, really. Said I was always gonna be one of his girls and to think of his shit as mine, too.”
I nodded my head with emphasized irritation. “Yes, and you said you don’t do any of that shit anymore, right!?”
This time Jaz rolled her eyes. “Oh, yeah, exactly right. That’s why I’m here Corey. Because
Bobby was just too nice to me. Gave me a room, food and H—please, save me,” she mocked.
This, in no way, shape, or form, made me want to help her.
“Continue then with the story about how you once again managed to fuck it all up.”
The phrase, if looks could kill, hit me as I saw the daggers shoot from her eyes.
“Things were cool for a while, just like old times. Then one night, he was passed the fuck out and I saw his phone go off asking for some stuff. So, I packed it up and told the dude I was coming. I’ve never met him before, but he was rich as hell. I was already out of it, so I dropped it off and then hung out with him. We drank, smoked, and fucked hard core afterwards. I stayed there for a few days without any phone and I didn’t tell Bobby what I was doing. By the time I sobered up from the weekend escape, I realized that the stacks of cash I was paid for the large amount of heroin I supplied him with was gone. I know I spent some but I don’t know what happened.”
There was only one thought that came to mind as she paused to take another hit of her cigarette—she’s a dead woman. I’ve seen Bobby do really bad shit to people who did far less.
“What happened with Bobby?”
“I called him from a payphone to tell him I screwed up. He told me that if I don’t give him ten thousand dollars, he’s going to kill me. That I had better run if I didn’t have it because he wasn’t going to show me any mercy if he caught me.”
Jazmin had to stop as sobs shook her body until she finally erupted. It looked to be the first time she had broken down since everything happened.
“I didn’t know where else to go. No one else would have taken me in!”
“You shouldn’t have come here and got me involved,” I said, with not as much conviction as I originally intended.
Jazmin was absolutely right - no one else she knew would put up with her. Lord only knows how many friends she had left anyway. I hated that she was here, but I hated it more because now I felt involved. This woman was pathetic and I wanted her to disappear, but there was that softer side of me that couldn’t just kick her out. At one time I had loved her, even if it hadn’t really been love, but I just couldn’t throw her out now. I needed to find a way to fix this before either Jazmin or Bobby found out about my family.
Jazmin’s voice broke through my thoughts. “I know I shouldn’t have, but I knew you wouldn’t just let him kill me.”
I had no clue how to respond and, before I even had a chance, Jazmin was on her feet and suddenly wrapped around me. Her head buried into my chest with her hands clutching my shirt for dear life.
I was trapped.
*~*~*~*~*
Danielle
My day with Karly had been relaxing and therapeutic, almost like a day at the spa. Okay, that’s a total lie. It would have been nice if my boyfriend, also known as the father of my child, hadn’t left in a rush. Not only that, but, I mean, come on—couldn’t he at least feed me a decent lie?! Oh no, apparently it was much more fun making your pregnant girlfriend worry!
Karly caught on very quickly that something wasn’t right. She arrived with two brown bags filled with Chinese food, insisting that the babies needed a sample of everything on the menu, and I wasn’t going to argue with her. It wasn’t until we sat down in the living room, eating out of the cartons of food, that she realized it was just the two of us.
With a mouthful of food she waved around her chopstick, motioning around the room, “Where’s Corey?”
My body tensed up and my heart plummeted into my stomach; I suddenly didn’t feel as hungry. I opened my mouth with every intention to tell her that he had business at the bar that he had to take care of, but I couldn’t.
“I don’t know,” I said, feeling the rush of tears at my confession. Thankfully, I held them back. I really wasn’t in the mood for a dramatic, woe-is-me cry session.
Karly’s head whipped my way so fast with fire in her eyes. I half wondered if I didn’t confess my deeper fear that he was off with another woman.
“What do you mean?” She questioned the way a mother did when she caught you doing something you weren’t supposed to.
“He left suddenly and was very vague about where he was going.”
A million follow-up questions buzzed past Karly’s face, but she bit her tongue. It was clearly more for my sake than hers, since it was basically killing her to leave it at that.
“Oh,” she forced out.
“Yup.”
There were a few minutes of tense silence, as an inner battle raged inside her - half of her wanting to ask and the other half wanting to be respectful.
Lucky for me, the good side won out.
“Well, I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about. I mean, come on. Corey has loved you for so long. He’d never do anything to hurt you, so I’m sure it’s nothing to worry about.” I didn’t miss the forced repetition or her need to point out that Corey loved me. As if that solved everything. I knew first hand that just because you loved someone, that didn’t mean all of your problems went away.
I loved Corey and I had no doubt that he loved me, too but, unfortunately, that didn’t silence any other questions I had. A few different witty quirks were on the tip of my tongue to lighten the mood and move onto the next subject, but I just couldn’t get them out. In fact, nothing came out. So, instead, we watched crazy brides on a rampage, stuffing our faces with as much food as we could handle.
It didn’t take long before the uncomfortable silence faded away and everything was forgotten. We spent the rest of the evening actually enjoying ourselves - painting our nails, flipping through gossip magazines, and there was a whole lot of baby talk. I filled her in on everything that happened at the ultrasound, showed her pictures of our baby, and I told her Corey requested we not know the baby’s gender.
Everything seemed great, but as a storm began to roll in overhead, so did the nerves in my belly. It was already nine at night and not once since Corey left did I get a call, text—nothing. Karly distracted my attention as best she could, but it didn’t help that she was ready for bed at a very early hour. Normally, that wouldn’t be a problem for me, but tonight was different. There was thunder and lightning, both of which caused hazards on the road. What if Corey was driving? Or, maybe he was in his bar and the power went off and he was trapped under something heavy with his phone just out of reach.
I let out a sigh. It was hopeless. Sleep was not going to come easy for me tonight. After a little convincing, I promised I would not be mad if Karly went to sleep before I did. It was when she was in the bathroom, brushing her teeth, that a knock at my front door nearly made me hit the ceiling. With a quick glance at my phone I saw that I still didn’t have any new messages, but maybe Corey’s phone died and now he was here!
I darted from my chair and whipped the door open before looking through to see who it was. To my dismay, it wasn’t Corey, but at least I hadn’t just opened the door to a mass murderer. Alex stood on the other side with the hood up on his sweatshirt and a smile on his face.
There were various questions I had for him, but I picked the easiest to start. “What are you doing here?”
Alex pulled his cell phone out of his jacket pocket. “I got a call from Corey not long ago saying he was being held up with some business at another bar. He wanted me to come by and check on you since there’s a storm and everything.”
“You talked to Corey?” I heard the pathetic tone in my voice, but I couldn’t stop it.
“I did. He said that his phone’s been off and he’d be shutting it off again, but he didn’t want you to be alone.”
“Oh,” I mumbled.
Alex chuckled and jokingly knocked on the door again. “Can I come in, or are you gonna make me sit out here all night?”
“Oh, yeah, I’m sorry. Of course you can come in.”
“Thanks, sweet cheeks.”
We weren’t more than a few steps into the room when Karly came out and looked just as shocked to see Alex as I had been.
> “Where’s Corey?” she asked.
“Sheesh, you girls know how to make a guy feel welcome, don’t you?”
“Sorry, we were just more expecting to see him instead of you,” Karly clarified.
Alex nodded with understanding as he slipped off his shoes. “No prob. Corey called and said he was being held up with work at another one of his bars up north. He didn’t want to leave Dani alone, so he asked if I could stop in and make sure she was alright.”
Just when I was starting to feel some ease with Alex’s presence and knowing that Corey was alright, my fear came back. Karly stuck her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes into a deathly glare.
“Did he happen to say which bar?” Her voice lashed out as all of my nerves came back.
Alex raised an eyebrow at her sudden attitude change, but shook his head. “No, he didn’t.”
So slightly that I almost wondered if I had imagined it, her head shook in a disapproving manner. “Well, I’m off to bed. Thanks for checking in on us, Alex. Sweet dreams.”
Karly walked off without another word and closed the door to the guest room behind her. Alex flopped down onto the couch and looked at me for some interpretation for what had just happened.
I held up a finger and followed after Karly. She sat in the middle of the bed as her fingers flew across the keypad on her phone sending a text.
“What’s going on, Karly?” I demanded.
She sighed and shook her head. “I don’t know for sure, Dani, okay? But I’ll find out.”
I was getting really sick of this cryptic family and their secrets.
“Karly, you can’t just expect me to take that answer and not question anymore about it!” Her eyes left the screen of her phone and met with mine.
“Please.” Her apologetic tone softened my growing irritation. “I know that’s not what you want to hear, but I don’t know anything. I promise you - the second I do, you’ll find out.”