“You did want it that once and you liked it, I know you did.” Tasha tried to overcome Nate again, but he wouldn’t let her have that chance, pressing on of his boots against her stomach to keep her back.
“I was drunk and I didn’t know what I was doing. And neither did you.”
“It’s my work, Nathan, you know this already. It’s what I do.”
“I can’t be a part of what you do anymore. I can’t live like that. I can’t do this with you, not again.”
Tasha’s face became more serious and thoughtful and she stopped in her attempts to touch Nate again. “But, you would do it with Kyra,” she muttered.
That statement threw off Nate, squinting at her in confusion. “Excuse me?”
“I know you like her. I know you want her more than you want me. Have you betrayed your new morals with her?” Tasha donned a look of indignation as she swatted away Nate’s arms to release her. Thankfully, she didn’t move, but only stared with angry fire in her eyes.
“No, I haven’t. I don’t want to… or at least, I don’t think I want to… No, I don’t… Where is this coming from?” Nate felt like he was in a fog and couldn’t clearly make out an escape from this horrible conversation.
“I know you want her. You’ve hardly taken your eyes off of her even after I showed up. I know something is going on between you two. End it! You’re mine now!” Tasha’s voice began to crack, as if she was on the verge of crying.
“Nothing is going on between me and her. I just offered to give her safe passage back into Malcolm’s kingdom. That’s all,” Nate said with a hint of remorse. Secretly, he did wish that something were going on between himself and Kiara, more than just friendship.
“You love her. I know you do. And she loves you, too. She stares at you just as much as you stare at her… Please, don’t lie to me. Do you love her?” Tasha reached out and laid a gentle hand upon Nate’s cheek.
He didn’t shrink under her touch, but only gazed into her mournful eyes, knowing he couldn’t hide this anymore. “…Yes, I do love her… I’m sorry.”
Tasha winced at the news and her eyes watered. She lowered her hand, bit her lip and stared down into her lap. “There’s nothing to be sorry for… I thought you liked the way I was. I thought you hated girls who played the innocent little flower…”
“No. I liked that years ago, but that’s not who I am anymore.” Nate felt himself being torn a part as he watched a tear or two fall from Tasha’s eyes.
“Then… I’m sorry as well.”
“There’s nothing to be sorry for. We just don’t belong together. It doesn’t feel right to me,” Nate paused and sighed deeply, “I’ll send money or clothes or something for you and Danny every now and again, but I can’t stay here with you anymore.”
Tasha sniffled and looked up with reddened, swollen eyes. It was clear she hadn’t cried in a long time. “There is something to be sorry for… I have to tell you the truth. I’m sorry I lied… I love you, Nathan, but what I did was wrong, I’m sorry.”
Nate believed that was the first time Tasha actually admitted that something she had done was wrong. “What did you do?” he asked.
She took a deep, stuttered breath. “He’s not yours,” she said in a hushed tone.
“Who’s not mine?”
“Danny. He’s not your son. I’m sorry. I thought that if you found out you had a child, then you would stay around and leave Kyra. One thing I know that hasn’t changed about you is your protective and responsible nature. I thought you would want to stay and be with me if you thought Danny was your son.”
Nate felt a mixture of raging emotions. He was mad at Tasha for lying to him in the first place, but irritated with himself that he actually believed that Danny was his son. But, the most overwhelming sense of relief spread through his system. It was all so clear to him now.
“Is he your son?” Nate asked.
“Yes, he is my son, but I don’t know who the father is.”
No shock there. Nate sighed, smirked and wiped a tear off of Tasha’s cheek, feeling sorry for the lady. She smiled and took his hand in her own, holding it tightly as if it would keep him there forever.
“I can’t stay here, Tasha. I need to go,” Nate said impatiently, getting up from the little cot bed and making his way towards the wagon door. Her grip was the only thing holding him back.
“Where are you going?”
“I’m going to sleep outside next to Kiara for the night. We’re leaving first thing in the morning.”
“Will I see you again?” Tasha squeezed his hand tighter and looked earnestly into his solemn eyes.
“Maybe someday. I promise to send you two money as often as I can spare it.” Nate tugged one more time to leave, but she refused to let go.
“Wait!” she cried. “I want Danny to have a father figure in his life. I don’t want him to grow up to be like Ian or some of the other men in the family. I want him to live right. Please, can’t you be his father?”
Nate looked down at Tasha with pity welling up in his heart for her and the boy. “I don’t know how to be a father, Tasha. I’ll see who may want him and I’ll send for him one day, ok?”
“Do you promise?” she begged.
“Yes, I promise.”
And with that, Tasha gently let go of Nate’s hand and seeing the opportunity, he rushed out of the wagon, leaving her to weep for the rest of the night. But, he stopped short when he reached over to pick up his backpack and it was gone. Nate searched the camp for Kiara, but couldn’t find her anywhere. He began to panic.
Kiara, wiping hateful tears from her chin, made her way towards the Tsadde River. She knew that the gypsy wagon trail chose this specific camp site because it was near the river, which provided a good source of fresh, pure, drinking water. Kiara overheard that it was only a little over a mile from the camp. She figured it would be a better place to spend the night before her long, arduous trek that would come in the morning.
She wasn’t more than maybe half a mile from the campsite when she was joined by a wobbling, drunken shadow that she noticed had been following her for some time. It had finally caught up with her.
A heavy hand fell upon her shoulder and spun her around forcefully. Kiara had the displeasure of meeting Ian face-to face in the darkness. There was no Nate here to protect her, so the fear rose quickly in her throat. She knocked his hand away without a second thought and continued walking.
“Hey, hey! Where are you going?” Ian asked in a drunken slur.
“None of your business. Leave me alone,” Kiara snapped, quickening her pace. Perhaps if she acted like she was brave, then he would stay away.
“Nope, come back here.” Ian caught up with her quickly, wrapped his arms around her waist and picked her clear off the ground, making her drop Nate’s backpack. Kiara kicked her legs wildly in the air and wiggled in his grasp, but it was no use. He had her trapped.
Ian, chuckling and groaning with satisfaction, carried her over to a tall tree trunk and pinned her between the rough bark and his heavy body, his hips pressing against her lower back. His disgusting, rotten breath was hot on her face and neck as his body pressed in tighter against hers. “You’re not getting away that easily. Quick squirming! This won’t hurt a bit.” One arm was still wrapped around her, immobilizing her own arms, while the other hand ran its way closer to her pelvis.
Kiara screamed as loudly as she could, knowing where this was going. Ian pulled her body back a bit and then rammed her into the trunk of the tree to get her to shut up, but that didn’t work. Kiara only screamed louder, hoping that someone would hear her.
In an attempt to silence her, Ian made the mistake of taking his roaming hand and covering her mouth to stifle her scream. “Hey, hush. You don’t want anyone coming to rescue you.”
That’s exactly what she did want, so she only tried to scream louder, but his hand was proving that a difficult task. Kiara was utterly terrified and wished she had never run away in the first place. She k
new something like this was going to happen if she associated with Ian. She should have trusted her initial instincts to stay clear of him. There would be plenty of time for regrets later, but now, she had to figure out a way to escape.
She did the only thing she knew to do. Kiara’s open mouth clamped shut under Ian’s hand, her hard teeth sinking into his bulky, fleshy fingers. Kiara thought she could taste a hint of iron as she bit down harder, making Ian let out a holler of pain.
As he recoiled his injured hand, Kiara had managed to create some distance between herself and Ian. So, doing the next thing that came to mind, she brought her boot heel straight up into Ian’s groin as hard and as quickly as her muscles would allow.
Ian let go of her completely and doubled over in pain, giving Kiara the chance to run. Adrenaline pumped through all of her body, carrying her faster towards the river. Not even Nate’s pack that she had slung over her shoulder after escaping would hold her back from getting far away from Ian, the camp and Nate. And as she ran, she let the tears fall unrepressed.
By the time she arrived to the river, she didn’t think its western shore would keep her safe. Kiara conveniently found rocks in the river that could serve as stepping-stones and without any hesitation. She hopped across the river to its eastern shore.
It was only there that she fell to her knees, letting Nate’s bag drop once more to the ground. Kiara, sniffling and panting for air, turned over and searched the tree line across the river from where she came. From what she could determine, no one was following her, neither could she hear anything.
Kiara pulled up her knees to her chest and held herself there, resting, listening to only her sobs and the soft babbling of the river over the many rocks and pebbles that lay in its shallow bed.
She was in such a mess. Now, she had no one and nothing to protect her. She was out in the wild, amongst beasts and robbers. And what’s worse, she was still in Deceiver’s territory. Kiara felt so alone, so frightened, so hurt and betrayed by the world that she felt nothing but the desire to crawl under a rock and die. How would she ever make it home? How would she survive without Nate’s help? How would she survive without Nate?
Kiara cried even harder into her arms, shielding herself from everything. Everything had fallen to pieces. All plans ruined and the worst part was that Kiara had no one to blame but herself.
A few more moments passed and through her bawling, she had neglected to hear approaching footsteps until it was too late. A soft, gentle hand touched her shoulder. Kiara’s first thought was that an angel had come to either comfort her or take her to the next life. But, upon looking up to the owner of the hand, Kiara only saw Nate, looking worried and concerned.
“Are you ok?” he asked, kneeling down beside her, his voice hoarse and breaking.
Kiara didn’t know what he was doing here, but she was glad he was next to her. However, she wouldn’t allow herself to show the true joy that she felt at the sight of him. She wanted to throw her arms around his neck and hold him for the rest of the night, but instead, she only shrugged off his hand and turned away like a stubborn child.
“What do you care?” she replied through her sniffling.
“I care very much, Kiara. What is wrong with you? Why have you been acting like this?” Nate’s voice was laced with annoyance, but Kiara paid no mind to it.
“Nothing’s wrong with me. You better go before you leave Tasha waiting.”
“I broke up with Tasha,” he said. Kiara snapped her head up, hoping that she had heard him right. “I just left her and I’m never going back.”
Kiara wanted to dance to those words. She felt like shouting out her joy to the world. “Really?” she asked, rubbing her moist cheeks against her sleeve.
“Yes, really.” Nate smiled and did the honors of wiping away the rest of her tears. Kiara couldn’t help but grin and turn away to hide her blush.
“I thought you liked her, though,” Kiara said, trying to mask her excitement. If what Nate was saying was true, then there still was hope left for her.
“No, I don’t. Please, quit assuming I like her. I left her twice already, isn’t that proof enough I don’t want her anymore?” Nate’s smile faded once more and he sat down next to her, bringing his knees up to rest his arms on, facing the river.
“Why did you leave her in the first place, anyway?” Kiara asked, looking at him with curiosity, resting her head down onto her forearms, feeling dreary from all the crying she had done. All melancholy thoughts and feelings dissipated, floating down stream.
“I’ll admit, I liked her at first. But, it was lust, not love. We were together for a few months, but I couldn’t stand being with her anymore.” Nate sounded like he was ashamed of himself for his past actions, but Kiara wanted to hear more.
“Why didn’t you want to stay?” she inquired.
“… She’s a whore. She sleeps with different men every night and I wanted someone who would be more faithful than that. I want to at least have the opportunity of getting married someday and her occupation doesn’t exactly allow that.”
Kiara bit her lip and rolled her head around to look out over the river. It made perfect sense to her why Tasha would be an awful wife, and then she felt pity for the poor woman to be trapped in that kind of lifestyle. “How did you find me?”
“I heard you screaming from the campsite. When I came to where you were, you had already taken care of Ian. He was still on the ground when I got there, but I had an idea of what happened. I beat the living tar out of him. I knew he was no good. I don’t know why you ever started hanging around him.” Nate’s voice rose in anger and he waved his hands in his frustration, but Kiara would never tell him why she put herself in danger like that.
“Are you ok?” he asked after cooling off for a moment or two, while Kiara was silent - besides her occasional sniffle. She gazed into his sympathetic eyes, then nodded calmly.
“Yes, I’m fine. He didn’t do anything to me.”
“I’m glad.” A small smirk crawled across his cheeks, then he turned away, “But, what’s the big idea about taking my bag and running off like that without telling me?” Nate said agitatedly, picking up his sack and placing it between them.
Kiara bit her lips and blushed ashamedly. “I just figured you would be happier without me while you had Tasha. There was no room for me, so I just left. I thought maybe I could make it to Aleph on my own.”
“Do you know how dangerous it would be for you to be traveling alone?”
“I know,” Kiara whined, “but I didn’t want to be a burden to you anymore, since you found your old girlfriend. I figured I would have been ok… But, even if something did happen to me, I don’t think I would care.”
Nate sighed and looked at her with silent guilt. “Why wouldn’t you care?”
Kiara wrapped her arms around her shoulders and looked up river, towards the mountains. She didn’t know how to answer that question. She had felt so hopeless before, but now it seemed like that dreariness was far away. Nate said he wouldn’t go back to Tasha again, so he was Kiara’s again… Well, maybe he wasn’t hers, but they were together again and that’s all she cared about.
“Are you alright?” Nate asked again, laying a caring hand on hers. Kiara looked up to him and nodded with a weak smile. He returned it and turned away, as if he believed her and watched the western shore of the river.
Kiara stared sleepily at him for many moments, studying his features as they were illuminated by the moonlight that shone from above. The reflections of the rays from the water danced across his skin like a bright fire. His eyes seemed as bright, if not brighter than the full moon in the sky and his hair never looked darker. Such a combination sent Kiara’s heart fluttering. She smiled to herself as she fell even more in love with him.
“Why didn’t you tell me that you lived in the castle when you were younger?” Kiara asked, forgetting herself in the moment.
Nate’s head popped up and around towards Kiara in sure shock at her question
. “What are you talking about? I never lived in the castle.”
“Leanne told me that you and your father worked for my father for a year or so up at the castle. You guys even lodged there while working. Why didn’t you tell me?”
Nate grimaced and Kiara could tell he was silently cursing Leanne for her big mouth, which brought a grin to her lips. “We didn’t stay in the castle… We stayed in the stables,” Nate mumbled discontented, looking across the river again.
“So, it’s true! We did know each other as kids!” Kiara lifted her head, waiting for him to say the words she’d been dying to hear since the night before.
With a sigh, Nate spoke. “Yes, we did.”
Kiara, again, wanted to shout and prance about wildly for her conquest. This night would turn out not to be too terrible. Holding in her giddiness, she continued. “But, why didn’t you tell me the truth after all those times I asked you?”
“Because, I’m not exactly proud of my childhood. You know what happened. And if you didn’t, I’m sure Leanne told you already.” Nate seemed honestly cross about the whole thing.
“I know what happened, but I know it was a total lie, too. My father punished the wrong man and he knows it now. He wished he could take it all back, but once the edict is signed, there’s nothing he can do. Besides, you and your father were gone long before my father realized the mistake he made,” Kiara placed her hand on Nate’s broad shoulder in an attempt to comfort him. “I’m sure if you go back to him, he’ll welcome you and your father back with open arms. Then, everything will be ok.”
Nate glanced up, but from his fallen countenance, it seemed that her hopeful speech was not enough to lift his spirits. “Even if Malcolm reinstated me and my father, he would surely exile me again. He must know of all the bad deeds I have done over the years,” Nate looked away sorrowfully, “There’s no way he would welcome me back.”
Kiara watched him with a heavy heart, wishing there was more that he could do. “I will see what can be done when we arrive in Aleph…” Kiara lowered her hand and returned it to the tops of her knees. “So, if you knew who I was, then why did you offer to take me back home? Knowing full well what might await you at the end?”
The Princess and Her Rogue Page 26