“You mean the fuckin’ sex?”
“Well... yes.” Should they even be talking about this here? Now? “I figured we were just enjoying what we had... have. I wasn’t expecting anything more.”
Oh yeah, he was getting a little angry. Just slightly. “Why the fuck you here, Cass?”
Her eyebrows pinned together. That was a dumb question when he already knew that answer. “You invited me.”
“No, Cassie, why the fuck are you here?” He jabbed his index finger toward the floor. “Right now. In this fuckin’ clubhouse at almost three in the fuckin’ mornin’ instead of home in bed under the same roof as your girl?”
She didn’t get why he was asking that. “Because you asked me.”
“Coulda said no.”
“I could’ve but I...” Oh shit, now she got it.
“’Cause you wanted to see me. Fuckin’ asked you ‘cause I wanted to see you. Got it?”
“Yes,” she breathed. He wanted to spend time with her, not just have sex with her. Which meant he wanted something more than just a casual relationship. “I’m not even divorced yet,” she whispered.
“And I’m workin’ on that. But you got shot of his ass a while ago, Cass. That wound ain’t fresh and you have no plans on takin’ his ass back.”
“Well, no. It was over with Dennis a while ago. But you never answered my question. I need to hear the answer, Judge.”
“You wanna discuss that here? Then we’ll discuss that here so there’s no fuckin’ mistake about it.” He dropped his head and kept his voice low. Enough so the angry grumble sent a shiver down her spine. It wasn’t just his rough, deep voice causing it, it was his words when he said, “’Cause when I’m inside you, it’s different. When I fuckin’ come deep inside you, I ain’t finished. Would normally push a woman away afterward. I draw you closer, hold you tighter. Just a fuck? Want ‘em out of my bed as soon as fuckin’ possible. With you? Don’t want you leavin’. That’s the damn difference between a fuck and you.”
She stared up at him.
“Get it now?”
Oh yes, she did. She got it.
She so got it.
However, it wasn’t only her. She had her daughter to think about. And this environment was not the best to raise her around.
Before she would even consider letting things get serious with Judge, she would need to think long and hard about what Daisy might be exposed to. She would need to talk to Judge about what it was like as a child growing up in a club like this. And she would need to have a serious conversation with Stella since she was a little girl when her father was a member of this very club. She, if anyone, could tell her the good and the bad. The absolute truth.
She didn’t want Daisy growing up thinking women were only property. That they could be used as sex toys. She wanted her daughter to know women should be respected, not used. That they were an equal.
“Baby, you didn’t answer me.”
She stared up into his green eyes. Concern. That’s what she saw in them. “I understand now.”
“Still gonna make it clear. Want you and only you. From the second I saw you, haven’t been able to get you outta my head.”
“So, you haven’t been with any other women since that day in the parking lot?” She had a hard time believing that. Not with what she’d seen tonight.
“Just said I couldn’t get you outta my head, woman, even though I wasn’t expectin’ you to give me a shot. Thought you’d only be my spank bank fantasy.”
“Your what?”
His angry expression was gone and a grin quickly replaced it. “Every fuckin’ time I closed my eyes, saw your face.”
Great. “When you were with other women?” Did she really want to know that answer?
“No, when I was—”
A drunken male voice from over by the bar yelled, “Judge, you want a shot?”
“Yes, Judge,” Cassie arched a brow at him, “do you want a shot?”
His grin twisted and his green eyes narrowed. “Do you?”
“You’d probably like that, but I prefer my tequila served in a glass and not on a human, so I’ll have to pass.”
“Got regular glasses.”
She never drank at Crazy Pete’s. She didn’t want to take advantage of Stella’s generosity of allowing her to drink for free. Nor did she want to go home to Daisy even slightly buzzed. But she originally hadn’t planned on going home tonight, figuring she’d end up upstairs in Judge’s apartment. That was why she came.
“Baby, do a shot with me. It’ll loosen you up some. Get rid of that jealousy you’re hangin’ onto ‘cause of Billie wantin’ your man’s dick. She ain’t gettin’ it, only you are. So, let’s have a fuckin’ drink and then I’ll give it to you.”
She blinked up at him, then snapped her mouth shut. “Do I even know you at all?”
“Yeah, you do, Cass. And you’re gonna know me better after tonight and after every other fuckin’ night we spend together.”
“I haven’t decided if I want anything more than sex with you, Judge,” she said smartly.
“Yeah, you do. Not only is the dick worth it, but the rest of me is, too.”
Her eyebrows shot up. “Do you have any references?”
“Nope, ‘cause nobody got the rest of me. Just the dick.”
“While I’m tempted to say that’s a good answer, I’m not sure if it is.”
He cupped her cheeks and lowered his head. “Got it. You don’t like thinkin’ about your man bein’ with other women.”
It had to be the pot or whiskey putting him on this “your man” kick. Because that, like “babe,” was the first time she was hearing it. “You’re really pushing it right now.”
“That jealousy’s awful cute on you.”
He took her mouth as she opened it to argue and she let him, even though the pot-whiskey mix was not her favorite. But it was something she’d probably have to get used to if things developed between them.
Because she doubted he would change.
This was his life and he was inviting her in. He said he wanted her to come out there tonight to see how he lived, how this club was a part of him. Either she could accept it, or she could reject it.
And by rejecting his lifestyle, his choices, she was rejecting him. She couldn’t have Judge without getting everything that came along with him.
Just like he couldn’t have her without her sticky situation and her daughter. By looking for Dennis on his own time and dime, he was willing to help her clean up the mess Dennis made. Plus, Daisy loved him already and, so far, he was great with her.
Even so, thinking about any kind of future with the man wasn’t an easy decision. Or one that would be made tonight. She had to seriously consider the impact of his lifestyle on Daisy.
His tongue tangled with hers as his fingers tightened, just short of painful, in her hair. The heat that swirled through her earlier when watching that couple in the hall returned, making her press her thighs together as her pussy pulsed with need, and her nipples ached for his touch. She couldn’t deny she wanted him sexually.
But life wasn’t only about that.
Hoots and hollers from the direction of the bar made Judge break the kiss but he didn’t pull away. His lips hovered over hers, their breaths mingling as they both tried to slow down their breathing.
Damn, she wanted him. And the evidence he wanted her was pressed against her.
After a few seconds, he grabbed her hand and led her over to the bar where he introduced her to Rook, Easy and Rev, since she had already met Cage. He also introduced the human shot glass, Crystal, who gave her an easy-going smile and a friendly wave as she was still sprawled naked across the bar.
She now had whipped cream covering both breasts with cherries where her nipples would be. Across her stomach someone had also written, “Congratz, Shady fucker,” on her stomach ending with three crooked exclamation points. Another whipped cream arrow pointed to the woman’s shaved crotch.
“W
here the fuck is Shade?” Rook yelled drunkenly, a beer raised in one hand, a lit joint in the other, as he swayed on his feet.
Judge snagged the joint from Rook’s fingers and tucked it between his lips. “No fuckin’ clue.”
“Is it Shade’s party?” Cassie asked. She glanced around, too, but had no idea what the man named Shade looked like. Hell, he could’ve been the man in the hallway.
“Yeah, the quiet fucker disappeared a while back and haven’t seen him since,” Judge answered, turning his head to blow the smoke away from her.
He offered the joint to her and she shook her head. She didn’t have anything against someone smoking pot, but she had no clue how it would affect her, since it had been a while since she smoked it and wasn’t prepared to find out tonight.
“Maybe he fell into some really good pussy,” suggested Easy. The lower rocker on the back of his cut read PROSPECT, just like Dodge’s had when she first began working at Crazy Pete’s. Cassie assumed he’d be having a similar party whenever he got patched in.
“Been savin’ Crystal for ‘im,” slurred an obviously well-baked Rook. “Can’t let ‘er go to waste.” He leaned over, sucked one of the cherries off her breast and kissed the woman, transferring the cherry into her mouth. He then ran a finger through the whipped cream until just her nipple was exposed and shoved the cream-covered digit into his mouth, sucking it clean. “Man don’t appreciate the cake we made for him.”
“That looks more like a sundae,” Cassie informed him.
Rook blinked at her for a long moment, then smiled. “Yeah. A fuckin’ sundae. You want a lick?”
“Sorry, I’m lactose intolerant,” she answered, even though she wasn’t. “Nothing personal,” she said to Crystal, who simply shrugged.
Judge snorted, moved behind the bar, slapped two shot glasses on the wood top and grabbed the almost empty bottle of tequila at the end of it. He poured what remained in the bottle into the glasses and came back to where Cassie stood, handing her one. She stared at it in her hand.
She hadn’t drunk tequila since she turned twenty-one and that was in the form of a Tequila Sunrise. Not straight.
Judge leaned close and whispered in her ear, “One shot and we’re goin’ upstairs.”
“Do you really need another shot?”
“What I need is you. So, hurry up and drink it.” He grinned, clinked his glass with hers and upended it, drinking the whole thing down in one swallow.
She followed his lead, put the glass to her lips and downed it all at once, too. Then she held her breath as her insides lit on fire.
“Gotta breathe, baby.”
If she breathed, she would cough. He drank it like it was water. To her it was like swallowing turpentine. She grimaced and blew out a slow breath.
Judge laughed and pulled the glass from her fingers. “’Nother one?”
She surprised him by nodding. He was right, she needed to loosen up a bit and tonight was the perfect time to do it. She had zero responsibilities right now. She didn’t even have to get up for work tomorrow since it was her day off. And if Melanie was willing to stay even longer, she wouldn’t rush out of Judge’s bed when the sun rose.
Once again, she reminded herself she was more than only a mother. She needed time to rediscover herself as a woman. She could do that with Judge. He made her feel like a woman. Feel wanted. Feel beautiful. Even sexy.
She missed that. She didn’t realize just how much until that first night with him.
Shit, that tequila was already going to her head and making her think permanent thoughts about the man who handed her another shot. He had opened a new bottle, but there was no way she was drinking more than two. She’d end up passing out and not getting “her man’s dick.” Or at least remembering that she got it.
That stick up her ass was already loosening up some.
Yep, two double shots were her limit. Any more and she might end up on that bar, on one of those green benches or against the wall down that hallway. Dick over dignity. Dignity be damned.
As she tipped it to her lips and let the liquor slide down her throat and into her already warm belly, her eyes caught on a cut hanging on the wall near the bar.
She handed Judge the empty glass back and moved over to it, sliding her fingers over the worn, dirty leather and patches. It had been attached to the wall with the vest wide open, so the front patches, as well as the back could be seen.
One rectangular patch said Crazy Pete.
Heat pressed against her back as Judge put his hands on her shoulders, squeezing them.
She leaned back into him, her head against his chest. “Stella’s father?”
“Yeah, he was an Original.”
“Just like yours.”
“Yeah.”
“Where’s your father’s cut?” Pete’s was the only one she saw displayed on the walls. She wondered why.
He hesitated and when he finally spoke, his voice was rougher than normal. “Wearin’ it. Normally, when a member dies, he gets buried in it. Stella didn’t get home in time to do that with Pete. She was dealin’ with another crushin’ loss. Mine was in prison when he was killed. Had no fuckin’ clue where his cut was ‘til I found it a while later at the old warehouse.”
The warehouse. That had been located on the lot where he followed her the third time they met. The Fury’s old clubhouse.
“What was he in prison for?”
“Murders.”
She turned her eyes up to him, finding his expression grim. “As in plural?”
“Yeah. More than one.”
“Were you ever in prison?” That was an important detail she should know.
“No.”
“Have you ever done anything that could’ve put you there?” When he didn’t answer, she turned to face him directly. “I need you to answer that truthfully.”
“It’s in the past, Cass.”
The blood drained from her face. “But I need to know. I need to know if what you might do in the future would get you arrested. Get you taken from me. From us. It’s already happened once, Judge. I’m dealing with a cluster because of a man who committed a crime that I had no knowledge about and who was also yanked from my daughter’s life because of it. I can’t risk Daisy going through that again.” Hell, she couldn’t risk it, either.
“On the day Ox was arrested, promised myself and my sister I was never goin’ to prison.”
His sister? She didn’t even know he had a sister. She’d have to circle back to that at another time. “You can’t guarantee that if you’re doing things that could put you there.”
“Ain’t doin’ shit to put me there.”
“Smoking pot.”
He shook his head. “Ain’t goin’ to prison for that. Get a citation at the most. Cops around here don’t give a fuck about dope. Hard shit? Yeah. Some grass? No. Gonna be legal for everyone one day soon, anyway. They got bigger fuckin’ fish to fry than someone smokin’ a joint, gettin’ mellow and eatin’ an order of fuckin’ loaded fries from Dino’s.”
Maybe that was true—though, she hadn’t tried the famous Dino’s Diner loaded fries yet—but she had done some Googling of what a Sergeant at Arms did in an MC. She had read several articles on motorcycle clubs. Not only because she worked for one but because Judge had been staying in her bed and spending time with her daughter. Before coming to Manning Grove, she knew nothing about MC’s. She still didn’t know a lot, but she did know what a club’s enforcer did for the most part.
“You enforce the rules.”
“What?”
“You’re supposed to keep everyone in line and punish those who don’t follow those rules. Do what you need to do to protect your club and brotherhood.”
“Where’d you hear that?”
“I read about it,” she admitted. Though, she never would have if it hadn’t been for this conversation.
“Yeah, baby, that’s my job as the enforcer.”
“It’s dangerous.”
“Could be
.”
“It could get you arrested.”
“Could, if I do somethin’ stupid.”
“Like murder?”
His silence was telling. She turned but stayed toe to toe with him.
“Like assault and murder?” she asked again.
“Gotta do what needs to be done, Cass,” he said way too seriously. He grabbed her chin and tilted her head up higher. “Not just for my brothers, but their ol’ ladies and their kids. Current and future. The club’s one big family. They’re responsible for their own, but I’m responsible for all of them. Took my father’s former spot. Didn’t want it, took it anyway. Take the job seriously. Wanna do better, be better than him. Will do what I gotta do but keep my ass out of jail.”
“You can’t guarantee that.”
“Just gotta be smart.”
“Judge…”
“Baby, trust me. Ain’t gonna do shit to land behind bars. Swore to Jemma, I wouldn’t.”
“Who’s Jemma?”
“My sister.”
“We need to talk about her, too.” She needed to know everything about him. Not just bits and pieces.
“Not now.”
“Then soon.”
He stared down at her. “Yeah, soon. Right now, wanna fuck you. Got the babysitter stayin’, right?”
“Yes, until morning.”
“Want you to stay with me tonight.”
She wanted that, too, even though there wasn’t much left of the night. Sunrise was right around the corner. “Only...” Heat flooded her cheeks. This heat wasn’t from the tequila.
“Only what?”
“Only if you take me against the wall just like that couple back there.”
“Back where?”
“Where you came from with that woman.”
His head twisted in that direction. She knew the exact moment he realized what she was talking about.
Especially when he shot her a big grin. “Got plenty of wall space upstairs.”
“We also need to finish this conversation.”
“Promise we will. After.”
After. If she was still awake. After one round with Judge, she might not be able to stay that way.
Blood & Bones: Judge (Blood Fury MC Book 3) Page 26