by Lauren Smith
They lay together, bodies still joined, sharing breaths and secret smiles until the fire had died and the night was in full bloom. Alex felt exposed and vulnerable, yet she wasn’t alone—he was with her. His body was wrapped around hers, easing away all her fears.
“Stay with me,” Alex begged, stroking the arm around her waist. He was holding on to her from behind as they lay on their sides, bodies pressed together perfectly like a pair of spoons nestled in a drawer.
Ambrose nuzzled her ear, placing a soft kiss there. “There’s no place I wish to be but here.”
“Good,” she murmured and was ready to drift off to sleep when she suddenly tensed. “Ambrose?” Her voice vibrated with new fear.
“What is it, love?” he asked, his voice a low rumble.
“Did you…take precautions? I forgot to ask you to.” She’d been so foolishly obsessed with him in her bed that she’d forgotten her cousin’s advice.
“I…” He sighed wearily. “I regret I did not. I knew better, but the moment you touched me I went up in bloody flames.” He kissed her shoulder. “But it’s unlikely you will find yourself with child the first time after you make love.”
“But if I should…”
“Then we face that consequence together,” he replied.
Consequence…the word seemed so dreaded, so heavy and unwanted. But would a child born between them be a consequence or a blessing?
“Be at ease, my love, please. I can almost hear your thoughts pounding in your head. I promise you I will take care of you should a babe result from tonight.”
Alex turned a little in his arms. “Do you want children? I mean not now, but perhaps someday?” Until she’d seen her father around Griffin and Emma, she hadn’t thought much of babies. Now she realized it would be nice someday to have a child.
He smiled a little, almost shyly. “Before today I would have said no. But a little mite throwing peas across the dinner table was much more entertaining than I had anticipated. It might be fun to have some little ones running about my house.” His tone was full of amusement and surprise.
His mind had been changed tonight, she could tell, and something about that gave her hope to dream. Because the moment they’d shared that first passionate embrace in the garden, she’d realized that she wanted to think of a future with him, even as foolish as it was to dream of marrying a rakehell.
“Alex, will you tell me what makes you afraid of London?” he asked.
She shivered in his arms. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
He sighed softly, the sound sad and sweet. “Talking about it might help. I want you to know you can be honest with me.”
“And would you be honest with me?” she countered, scrutinizing his features for any hint of an attempt to deceive her.
He nodded. “Ask me anything.”
“You and Lord Darlington…there’s a history there. What is it?”
“We were friends once. Close friends.” Ambrose trailed his fingertips along her arm, the touch soothing and sweetly sensual.
“What happened between you? It was obvious you weren’t on good terms.” Alex was surprised but delighted that he was talking to her.
“It was several years ago, but his parents died and he inherited the title of Viscount Darlington, and he inherited his father’s debts as well. That changed him. He didn’t want any charity that I or our other friend Gareth could provide. He wanted to support himself, but he started breaking me at the gaming tables, even though it wasn’t enough to sustain him. His father had bankrupted the estate, and Vaughn was holding on to his family’s holdings by the skin of his teeth.”
“And you didn’t agree with his method of surviving?” she guessed.
“No, I didn’t. And our friendship was the casualty of that war.”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered.
“Things happen. Friends grow apart,” he muttered and looked away from her for a moment, his gaze melancholy and distant.
“Ambrose.” She gently tugged his face down to hers and kissed him. He returned the kiss, but it was gentle and full of a softer passion, one that didn’t need to end up with them making love. For some reason that made her heart turn over, and she snuggled closer to him.
“Will you tell me about London now?” he asked.
The tender moment seemed to fade slightly as she realized she would have to tell him.
“I…was in love once, long ago. The man and I had an understanding, but he left for London right before my debut and married a wealthy heiress. When it came time for my presentation and my coming out, I simply couldn’t face the ton. I couldn’t face him and his wife and see them together. It hurt too much.” There, she’s said it. Maybe he wouldn’t ask her anything else.
His fingers traced her jaw, and his eyes were soft as he gazed down at her. “Whoever that man was, he is a fool. I could not think of any reason to leave you, if you were mine.” This time he kissed her, and his lips burned, scorching a path from her mouth to her throat, then to her collarbone. It was a long while before they were sated and lying quiet again. He’d made her forget about her heartache and reminded her that life could still offer some joys even to those healing from broken hearts.
“Go to sleep, my love.” He pressed a kiss to her cheek.
Alex closed her eyes, pushed back against him. If only they never had to leave this room or this bed. She let the darkness of sleep overtake her. Tomorrow she would have to face the consequences of tonight.
Tomorrow…
*****
Ambrose held Alex in his arms and tried to process the flood of emotions he was experiencing. He had slept with dozens of women over the last several years and but rarely had mistresses. He loved the thrill of the chase, the seduction, and the catch. Then he walked away. He didn’t like forming close, lasting relationships with women. Yet all those other nights of passion with strangers felt empty and hollow compared to the golden glow of making love to Alex.
From the moment he’d stepped into her bedchamber, he’d felt the beating pulse of attraction and something more. It was a purer sense of connection, something he’d never felt with any woman before. She had been bold and brave yet full of innocence. He’d enjoyed introducing her to passion and exploring her body. It was so much more than sex. Kissing her had been as vital as drawing his next breath. And when he’d possessed her, her tight sheath gripping him like a fist, it hadn’t been a simple physical pleasure. He had felt like he was flying, and she’d been with him. For the first time, intercourse had been a moment to share, not to enjoy on his own. In the past, he always made sure his lovers found pleasure as well, but it had never felt like something he’d done together with them.
I used them as they used me.
It wasn’t that way with Alex. With her, it had been about mutual, shared joy, and it had been about being with her and sharing himself with her.
And she’d asked him to stay. He would not have dared to stay with previous lovers, nor would he have wanted to. But holding Alex as she slept, their bodies pressed skin to skin, he couldn’t imagine any other place in the world that he’d rather be in that moment. Making love to this woman had been sweeter than his first kiss. It had been more thrilling than racing his horse through the fields as he hunted. It was more than everything that had once given him pleasure in life.
I’m falling for this woman, a feisty country girl who can’t stand London, and I’m destined to ruin her and break her heart in order to save her.
Fate was a cruel wench who was dealing him a terrible hand at the celestial gaming tables. He couldn’t help but wonder if this was how his friend Gareth had felt when he’d met Helen. He hadn’t thought his friend could ever love again after his first wife died in childbirth, yet he had. Am I to going to fall in love? And at what cost? I have only a black heart to give this woman. And she won’t want me when I’ve ruined her in every way. He stared down at her face, marveling at how she could rest so peacefully. He couldn’t shake the guilt that ate at his gut and
made him sick.
Damn whoever wrote the bet down in that book at White’s. They would destroy a sweet, wonderful woman for the sake of their own amusement. And damn me for being the fool to try to save her by ruining her.
He buried his face in her neck, inhaling her sweet scent and trying not to think about what the morning would bring.
Chapter 11
“London? But I thought you didn’t like the city?” Ambrose watched Alex pace the floor of the drawing room. Her pale-pink muslin gown whispered along the carpets as she walked. After last night, he’d believed their night of passion would have drawn them closer, but come the morning, Alex had seemed worried and withdrawn. Now he understood. She was contemplating going to London, a place he knew she didn’t like.
“You said Lord Darlington was dangerous. I don’t believe the country is a good place to stay while he is around.”
“Fair enough,” Ambrose sighed. “It would be easier for him to get to you out here.” It would be even easier in London for her to fall prey to the other men wanting to win the wager. It put her in danger no matter where she was.
I should just lock her away in a bloody tower and be done with it.
“So Perdita and I shall go to London. I thought I might visit your sister. If you are willing to offer us a proper introduction?” Her words were casual, but he sensed she was quite serious about meeting his sister.
Alex stopped pacing and was staring at him, her eyes full of hope.
“Yes, of course. Violet would love that. I shall accompany you ladies in the coach, of course.” There was no chance he’d let her go off on her own to London. He’d be with her every step of the way so he could ensure her safety.
“What?” Alex replied in surprise. “There’s no need to accompany us.” She blushed as he crossed the distance and gripped her waist gently.
“Are you that ready to be rid of me after last night?” His voice came out a throaty whisper, rumbling as he remembered everything that they had shared last night. Part of him worried that she might not have felt as overwhelmed as he had in bed the previous night. Last night he’d believed she was as wrapped up in their intimacy as he was, but perhaps he’d been wrong. The thought of her not being as obsessed and fascinated with him as he was with her was like a blow to his stomach.
“No, it isn’t that.” She smiled shyly. “I just didn’t want to make you feel obligated to do something you did not wish to do.” Her words quieted the fears that had been racing through him, and he smiled at her, loving how her blush only deepened. If there hadn’t been a small chance of her father or a servant walking in on them, he would have kissed the woman senseless.
“There’s nothing I wish to do more than escort you to London and introduce you to my sister.” And he meant it. A trip to London would require a stop at an inn, another chance to be alone with her before he had to ruin her reputation and her life. He winced at the thought.
“Everything all right?” she asked.
“Hmm? Oh yes, just thinking, that’s all.” He grinned and leaned in to steal a quick kiss. There were plans to be made, and he wanted to get her to London to meet his sister. “We should pack and leave if we wish to reach a decent inn for dinner. I can send a boy ahead and reserve a set of rooms.”
“That would be wonderful, thank you. I’ll need additional lodging for my maid and Perdita’s.” She didn’t seem to mind at all that he had taken charge of the situation. His headstrong Alex had the good sense to listen to him.
Ambrose nodded. “Of course.”
“Oh, and Father said he wished to come too,” she added.
He halted halfway to the door and looked over her shoulder at her. “Lord Rockford is joining us?” That put a wrinkle in his plans.
“Yes, we need a decent chaperone, and he will do.”
Damnation, how could he be with Alex while her father was watching? A large country mansion like this was one thing, but in a crowded little traveling inn, it would be almost impossible.
He located a footman in the hallway and gave him instructions to reserve rooms at the little roadside inn called the Raven and the Boar, and then he rushed upstairs to see to his own clothes being packed. When he came back downstairs an hour later, he was hoping to find Alex.
“Ah, Worthing, I assume you’re returning to London with us?” Rockford stepped out of his study by the stairs, his expression warm, making Ambrose smile, too.
“Yes. Neither Miss Darby nor Lady Alexandra have been there recently, and it will be enjoyable to escort them around the city.”
“Indeed! My wife will be shocked I’ve come, but it will do her some good to see me out and about,” Rockford chuckled.
“It will be a pleasure to renew my acquaintance with Lady Rockford.”
Lord Rockford nodded. “Agreed.” He clapped a hand on Ambrose’s shoulder and walked back into the study.
Three hours later, Ambrose stood outside as a four-in-hand carriage was being packed. Alex and her father climbed inside. The lady’s maid and a spare footman sat on the boot at the back of the coach. Ambrose gave the driver instructions to collect Perdita Darby before he climbed inside and sat across from Alex.
On the way to Darby House, he and Rockford discussed the joys of shooting and reminisced about past days. He noticed Alex watching him, her eyes soft, her lips curved slightly in the way they did when she was on the verge of smiling without being aware of it. He loved that about her, her constant joy.
When the coach slowed to a stop outside Miss Darby’s residence, Ambrose offered to get out and assist Alex’s friend inside.
The second he climbed out, his heart stopped. Vaughn stood beside Perdita and her maid, a set of packed valises sitting at his feet.
“What the devil?” he growled, almost falling down the coach steps.
“Worthing.” Vaughn inclined his head, a mocking smile on his lips.
“You’re not—”
“I am.” Vaughn glanced at Miss Darby, smiling. “Here, lad.” Vaughn waved a footman over. “Take the lady’s luggage.” He lifted his own cases and followed the footman around to the back of the coach.
He gave Ambrose a brief moment to speak with Perdita.
“Miss Darby, I thought only you were accompanying us to London.” He glanced over his shoulder, watching for Vaughn to reemerge.
Perdita blushed. “Once Mama heard of my plans to go to London, she suggested Lord Darlington accompany me. I’m terribly sorry.” This last was whispered as she leaned into him a little. It was obvious Alex had warned Perdita about Vaughn’s potential danger to her reputation.
“Very well, we shall make do,” Ambrose muttered as Vaughn returned. Ambrose assisted Perdita inside, and then he and Vaughn were forced to share the seat opposite the ladies and Lord Rockford.
“Darlington,” Rockford greeted. “Glad you could join us.”
“Thank you.” Vaughn still smiled as he sat down. “Lady Alexandra.” He inclined his head toward Alex.
“Lord Darlington,” she replied politely, only a hint of caution in her tone.
Ambrose did his best to rein in his surly mood. Now he had to be on constant guard with Vaughn. It was obvious the other man was there to make a go at Alex, but not if Ambrose could help it.
Despite his best intentions to ignore Vaughn, Ambrose spent the late afternoon in conversation with him and the others as they traveled to the inn. It was the earl’s fault. He had a way about him that seemed to banish ill will among companions.
It took four hours to reach the Raven and the Boar. Ambrose took care to see to the rooms and was thoroughly displeased to discover he and Vaughn would share a room. Perdita and Alex were sharing. Of course, the earl had his own chamber. It would be another night without access to Alex. At least this would make it easy to watch over Vaughn. Still, Ambrose did not like it when his carefully- laid plans were disrupted. Perhaps he could find a way to get Alex alone, however briefly. If he couldn’t steal one more kiss by midnight, he might go mad.
The inn provided simple fare for travelers who didn’t wish to pay much, but Ambrose assured the innkeeper that they would need more elaborate fare. He was delighted to see a meal of roast woodcock and pea chick with asparagus along with bread and soup.
The common room was filled with other travelers. The warm, bustling feel of the crowd was something that Ambrose usually enjoyed, but sitting amongst his companions now, he realized he missed the wide-open space of the dining room at Rockford’s house in the country. The smell of unwashed bodies and the scent of unclean hay and road-weary horses was not as pleasant as he remembered. There was something to be said for clean stables and rested horses.
After a quiet but pleasant dinner, the ladies left their table to retire to their chamber. Ambrose rose and walked them to the stairs, pausing and leaning in to Alex to whisper, aware of Perdita hovering close by.
“If you want me, I’ll wait up. Knock on my door after midnight, and I’ll make sure that Vaughn’s asleep. We can find somewhere to be together,” he whispered.
She bit her lip, her eyes bright, her cheeks pinkened. “See you after midnight.”
Their hands brushed, an almost innocent touch, but his skin burned and his body tensed with renewed hunger. He still wanted her, and even after having her once, he needed her again. He watched her ascend the stairs to the rooms, the sway of her hips too enticing. His hands itched to grab her hips and pull her back against him. It would feel so good to take her like that, their bodies pressed front to back. He liked to try all sorts of positions, and he’d only been able to try just a few with Alex. He wanted to try everything with her.
“Well, I think I’ll retire as well.” Rockford yawned, and with a tired smile he bid Vaughn and Ambrose goodnight and went up the stairs past Ambrose, who hadn’t moved even when Alex had disappeared out of sight.
It was just him and Vaughn now. Damnation. Maybe he would just go up to his room early.
“Worthing, care to share a bottle of brandy with me?” Vaughn had waved over one of the maids who was tending to customers at the bar, and she was handing him a full bottle of what looked like decent brandy. He would have said no, but it could help Vaughn fall asleep if he had some brandy in him.