“Dr. Cain,” she corrected half-heartedly, but the dark haired girl didn’t seem to notice. “Is there a driver with him?”
“Still no. Maybe you should talk to him. I don’t think he’s giving up any time soon. At least he’s coming around, which is more I can say for Julian Brax.” Cherise fisted the curtains for a moment before she dropped them. Alice knew there was history behind the snide remark, but her new friend proved unwilling to share any of it the last couple of days.
“I don’t know if it’s a good idea.” She said it to herself as much as it was meant for Cherise. The truth was, she wasn’t sure she wanted to face him after everything that had happened. Why was he even here? He knew who she really was by now, surely. And he’d seen her with his best friend. Was there some other way she could possibly screw things up and he was coming by to let her know?
“I think you should go downstairs, tell him you’ll run away with him, and never look back. It would be so romantic.” Cherise flipped her glossy hair over her shoulder, a new light in her eyes. It felt strange, that she’d encourage her to make another rash decision like the one that had ruined her life two days ago.
“I don’t want to make any more mistakes because I don’t have all the information.” Another cop out, of course. Information was knocking on the door down below, and all she had to do was go and get it.
“What are you waiting for? You can’t stay inside this apartment forever, darling.”
Cherise crossed the room and pulled her to her feet. Maybe she was right. She thought she’d changed, but here she was all over again—hiding away from the world with her head in the sand. She’d just do it, then. Go down there and get it over with. Alicia could do it easily.
“That’s the spirit!” Cherise smoothed her hair for her and then, as if it was an afterthought, stood on tiptoe and kissed Alice on lips. She was too surprised to react and by the time her senses caught up with her, the girl pulled away.
“There, a little lip gloss for you. God, you are still so beautiful, though you’ve been crying for days. Now go.” She firmly escorted her to the door. Even if she wanted to change her mind, Cherise wasn’t going to let her.
Alice counted the steps as she slowly wound her way down the stairwell. Maybe he’d be gone by the time she reached the foyer. Honestly, she couldn’t believe he’d waited so long already.
She saw him on the other side of the glass door before he saw her. Wrinkled clothing hung from sagging shoulders and his normally sculpted black hair lay in disheveled strands across his face. Good Lord, it was a wonder no one had called the police yet. He looked like a vagabond on the stoop.
And then he sensed her standing there. His blue eyes filled with hope as he turned squarely to face the glass. Alice moved closer. He was securely on the other side and had to stay there unless she buzzed him in. He raised his right hand and placed it against the fragile barrier between them.
“I am sorry, so sorry Alicia…Alice.” He choked up a little and it stabbed at her heart. He’d called her Alice. He knew, then, yet here he was apologizing to her. What could he possibly have to be sorry for? Her emotions were ragged and raw.
“How can you ever forgive me? I had you with me for an entire year and I never knew—I never saw you. Looking back, knowing you now, I can see every disastrous turn that led us to where we are at this moment. None of this is your fault.”
Her heart crushed in her chest. His words were deeply sincere, everything she ever could have wanted to hear from him. He was a knight in shining armor on her doorstep, consoling her after everything she’d done. But it didn’t matter anymore. She couldn’t let it, for both their sakes.
“Dr. Cain…oh God, this is so difficult for me.” When she spoke, he spread his fingers across the glass, leaning closer.
“Please, I asked you once to call me Anderson.” The ghost of a smile shadowed his lips and she remembered how much she’d fallen for him at the jazz club. “You don’t need to tell me anything, but I want you to understand that I was never with Beverly. Not the night we went on our date, or any night before that. I slept in my office that evening and I never knew she was upstairs.”
Was he telling the truth? He didn’t owe her any explanations, after all. But Beverly had been alone when she’d found her. No sign Anderson had even been in the room that night. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of her stomach and she realized she’d made a terrible mistake. There was no excuse, no matter how it had looked at the time. Alice was horrified by her naive reactions and what that had done to Anderson. She’d treated him terribly.
“I am so profoundly sorry for what I’ve done to you.” Alice pressed her hand against the glass between their palms. It was warm to the touch. “I wish I knew then what I do now, but there’s no going back. Please know I never meant to hurt anyone.”
“It’s true, there is no going back, but we can move forward…together.” His eyes turned a deeper blue as he held her gaze. “I love you, Alice. Be with me.”
She was stunned by his sudden proposal. It wasn’t what she’d expected at all when she came downstairs to face the music. Her heart leaped at the thought, but the reality of it drained the joy right out of her illusion.
“What about Brax?” She had to say it, their friendship deserved that much. Alice cringed when Anderson reeled away from the door like he’d been slapped. His fists balled up at his side. She wondered if he even knew he was doing it.
“Damn him to hell! We won’t have anything to do with him, not ever again.”
His bitter words were like a knife in her chest. Even if this wasn’t her fault, she knew she was the cause. And his friendship with Julian was the one thing in all of this she could fix. Alice didn’t care how much it would hurt, how her heart would die a little each day without either of the men she loved. She would do whatever she had to, to make things right. Even if it killed her inside. She had to be stronger than ever now.
“I don’t ever want to be with you.” She tried to say it coldly, but a sob caught in her throat. “And I don’t want to be with Brax, either. How could I possibly care about anyone who would turn their back on their best friend? Now leave me alone!”
She spun away from the door and pounded up the steps, her heart thundering to match the rhythm of her ascent. When she reached the landing, Cherise was there. Had she heard it all? It didn’t mean anything, even she did. With Alice out of the picture, Anderson and Brax’s friendship would restore. They might never know how much she loved them to do what she’d just done, but she would. And that would have to be enough.
* * *
It was getting dark in the alley across the street from Alicia’s apartment. Brax zipped up his leather jacket against the chill. Anderson had been there off and on for hours, outside the door to her building. Brax had to turn away for a minute, give his eyes a rest from the depressing scene. His friend looked wretched. Probably as wretched as he felt himself. Probably shouldn’t think of him as a friend anymore, either. Hell, it wasn’t his choice. Anders had been pretty clear on the matter back at the club. The fact that he wouldn’t return any of Brax’s calls reinforced the sentiment.
A car door slammed. Brax caught sight of his friend, recklessly pulling out onto the street in his sedan, swerving to miss an oncoming car. What the hell, had Alicia come out to talk to him and he’d missed it? A part of him was relieved that Anders had finally gotten a reprieve, but the other part was wildly jealous. How could he expect his friend to reconcile his feelings if he couldn’t manage his own?
Alicia had been holed up for days in that apartment with Cherise. He had a bad feeling about the two of them being together. Cherise had betrayed his trust a long time ago and showed him how clever and manipulative she could be. He should have thanked her back then, really. Her betrayal inspired him to achieve a new level of passion—one that didn’t involve feelings. Just control and pleasure. Life was much simpler after that.
And he was fine with it, too…until he’d met Alicia and
his heart exploded out of the prison he’d kept it in. Now Cherise had a chance of ruining that as well. He pulled out his cell phone, wanting to text Alicia. Just to tell her to watch her back. Dammit, he might be dumb, but he wasn’t stupid. It would only alienate Alicia more if he bashed the only ally she thought she had right now.
Should he go after Anders and try to mend their friendship, or should he stay and keep watch over Alicia? As far as he knew, the girls hadn’t gone anywhere since that night at the club. Anders was risking his life grief-driving all over town, and at the moment, that seemed a hell of a lot more dangerous. It was the long-term shit with Cherise you had to watch out for.
Brax leaned his bike upright and kicked the stand back. He was prepping the motorcycle to start when a message came in on his phone. It was from Alicia. His stomach lurched like a school kid, and he felt ridiculous. He took a few deep breaths and opened the text. It read:
Brax, I have thought long and hard about our situation and I choose you. I am ready to commit the pair-bond ritual with you at midnight tonight, in the Sunset Room. Please don’t say anything back. If you care about me at all, meet me there and tell no one what we are doing.
Ice water rushed through his veins. As much as he wanted the message to be true, as much as he needed it to be true, there was something wrong. He immediately dialed her number back. It went straight to voice mail. Why turn the phone off right after a message like that? How could Alice know what the pair-bond ritual was, let alone the names of the suites deep in the heart of Damsels? God only knew what Cherise was telling her about him.
With the bike at rest again, Brax slid off the leather seat and took long strides across the pavement. Whatever was going on, he’d figure it out face-to-face. He didn’t play games, especially not with the woman he loved.
He pressed the buzzer impatiently. No answer. Goddamn it, what were they doing up there? Brax laid on the door bell long and hard before stepping back and reviewing the rows of windows above his head. He saw curtains waver on the third floor. Her place.
This was past the point of tolerable. Something was going to happen tonight. He needed to remain calm and think things through—needed someone who could reason a way through these maddening clues.
He needed Anderson.
Brax was done screwing around with all of it. He would go to his best friend’s house and they would come to terms with everything tonight. He had a bad feeling that if they couldn’t come together on this soon, there might not be anything left for them to fight over.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
“It must be terrible for you, darling.” Cherise curled up on the couch next to Alice and gently put an arm around her shoulders.
Alice didn’t know how to respond. If she tried to talk, it all might just come out and she didn’t know if she could control it. The last thing Alice needed to do was blubber all over her new friend and drive her off, too. Then she’d have no one.
“Thank you,” she said with a sniff, laying her head on Cherise’s shoulder.
“Ah, no need to thank me. I feel for you very deeply. The guilt must be agonizing, knowing that you split apart two friends who were as close as brothers. You might have been happy with Anderson, but Brax would never allow it. And vice versa, I’d imagine.”
Cherise’s words twisted the knife in her heart. How could she say such a thing to her? But she apparently understood the situation, maybe a lot better than Alice did herself. She had been fooling herself all along, playing with fire and she never knew it. Inexperienced. Was that even an excuse? She didn’t want excuses.
“I told him—Dr. Cain—to leave me alone. To go away and that I didn’t want either of them. If I’m out of the picture, they will go back to being friends, in time. They have to, or all of this horrid pain is for nothing.”
“Ah, but are you really out of the picture, my darling?” Cherise’s eyes lit up again and she got to her knees next to Alice on the couch, her head cocked to one side.
“What do you mean? I’ve told Anderson to get lost. He will tell Brax, and that will be the end of it.” It was the only way she could think of to end it. Surely there was nothing else she could do?
“Oh, you are so naive, are you not, my beautiful girl?” Cherise patted the back of her hand and Alice felt a little patronized by the gesture. God, it was true, though. She should listen to Cherise, who had experience with this kind of thing. “We are talking about men, my darling. You are still available, unattached, as it were. Do you really think they’d ever give up, while this is the case?”
“Well, I don’t see what other choice I have.” What was her friend suggesting? If it could even remotely help Brax and Anderson reconnect, it would be worth it.
“There is a ritual at Damsels, called the pair-bond. You have heard of it?” Cherise was excited, now, and got to her feet. She paced in front of the couch while Alice answered.
“Oh yes, I’ve totally heard of it. Really.” Alice tried to sound confident. “But, it’s been a long time… Maybe you can refresh me a little on the subject?”
“It is a beautiful rite of submission. The master, or mistress, stands above the altar of presentation. They must be fully cloaked and masked, of course, as well as the supplicant, who brings forth a single red rose. The flower symbolizes the heart, mind, body and soul, all of which you commit exclusively to your new master by giving them the flower. If they accept, you are bonded to them, and them alone.”
“How long does it last?” Alice was stunned by the prospect, but intrigued. What would it be like to have a master, someone to teach her to experience her newfound passion? What would it be like to have Julian Brax as her master? The thought brought tears to her eyes. Damn, Cherise was right! If Alice didn’t move on soon, she might be tempted to go back to them after all they’d been through and ruin the sacrifices she’d made for the two men.
“It lasts until the master chooses to make pair-bond with another. This gives me an idea, my darling. I have been in the pair-bond with my master for many years. He has expressed an interest in perhaps taking another. He has even told me you would be more than acceptable as a replacement.”
“With your master? Me?” Cherise’s suggestion took her completely by surprise. She didn’t even know how to react to such a proposal. “Don’t you love your master? Where would that leave you?”
“You are so sweet to care for my well being.” Cherise looked her over at length, then shook her head. The gleam returned to her eye. “My master is a wonderful man, it is true. But I have had my time with him. If this could help you in any way, I would gladly step aside. I’m sure I could find another to take me in.”
Was she considering this?
Alice didn’t want to leave the sensual new world she found herself in. If she committed to Cherise’s master, Julian and Anderson would have to let her go. In a way, she would still be close to them, at least in their world, learning how to become a part of it. Becoming the passionate person she longed to be.
“I see you are thinking about it.” Cherise beamed, crossing the room to the table. “Let me send my master a message. He will greatly welcome this news.”
Alice wasn’t sure yet. She wanted to tell her friend to wait, but Cherise was texting on the wrong phone anyway. “Hey, you have my cell there.”
“Oh, gosh. I do have your mobile.” She shrugged and giggled harmlessly. “I was wondering why none of my contacts were in here. Oh look, your battery just died anyway. I will charge it for you.”
That phone had always held its charge before. Then again, she’d rarely ever used it until recently. Cherise was acting odd, but she didn’t have much time to think about it because the door buzzed.
“Oh God, who is it now?” She jumped up off the couch and moved away from the window. “Will you go see?”
Cherise nodded and took her place behind the curtains. She adeptly slid them open and peered down to the stoop. Before Alice could ask who it was, Cherise gasped. “Oh, it is that driver you have be
en asking about! The one who takes Anderson to the club.”
Alice thought she was going to throw up. Johnson was still in the picture? She could barely believe it. She really couldn’t have anything to do with Anderson, now. She couldn’t stand to be near that foul blackmailer.
The door buzzed again, this time in earnest, and it seemed to go on forever.
“Get away from the window. Please, please, don’t answer that!”
Cherise jumped back, rustling the curtains in her wake.
“I won’t answer, don’t worry.” She came across the room and put a firm hand on Alice’s shoulder, looking her in the eye. “But now I see how important it is for you to complete the pair-bond with my master. We must put an end to all of this madness. This is truly the best for everyone involved. Can you see that?”
“I don’t know, Cherise. I am not sure how I feel about your master. And from what you tell me, he is the only one who can get out of this commitment. What if I want to break it, and I can’t?” Julian’s words came back to her, and they haunted her memory. He’d told her to watch what she did in the club, how she could end up making a huge mistake that she couldn’t get out of for a very long time.
“He is a fair and good master, I promise you. He has been wonderful to me all these years.” Cherise’s voice was strained. Was she forcing the words? Alice had terrible time of always believing everything people told her. She never wanted to think anything bad about others, but she learned early on it was an easy way to get hurt.
“Good and fair? Is that true?” Alice reached out and touched Cherise’s cheek. The bruise had faded considerably, but some discoloration remained on her sculpted cheekbone.
“Oh, you think this is from my master’s hand? I hope I have not led you to believe that all this time.” Her eyes were wide. “Why, he would never strike me. This mark is the hand of another, I swear.”
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