by Katia Rose
Your Echo
Katia Rose
Copyright © 2018 by Katia Rose
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
The following is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, locales, and incidents are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used in a fictitious manner. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead (or lingering between those two states), or actual events is purely coincidental.
This book has been licensed for your personal enjoyment only. Please respect the author’s work.
Cover photo: ©iStockphoto.com/Feedough
Contents
1. Heavy Dirty Soul || Twenty One Pilots
2. Trojans || Atlas Genius
3. Just || Radiohead
4. Black Mambo || Glass Animals
5. Everything is Alright || The Glorious Sons
6. I’ve Got Your Fire || Jenn Grant
7. Afraid || The Neighbourhood
8. Maarval || OIJ
9. Heatwave || Julian Taylor Band
10. Kamikaze || Walk the Moon
11. Wait Up || Tokyo Police Club
12. Broken || Lovely The Band
13. Late Night || Foals
14. Trouble I’m In || Twinbed
15. The Riot’s Gone || Santigold
16. I’m On Fire || Bruce Springsteen
17. Body Gold || Oh Wonder
18. Slip || Elliot Moss
19. I Wish I Was Sober || Frightened Rabbit
20. No Answers || Amber Run
21. Got To Lose || Hollerado
22. All My Heroes || Bleachers
23. Disarm || Smashing Pumpkins
24. Weight in Gold || Gallant
25. Don’t Mind Me || Walking On Cars
Save An Indie
Acknowledgments
About the Author
Club Katia
Also by Katia Rose
1 Heavy Dirty Soul || Twenty One Pilots
ACE
Life is a series of fuck-ups.
Big or small, catastrophic or mildly inconvenient—life is defined not by the breaths we take, but by the moments that make us say, “Shit. That went fucking sideways.”
Sometimes you drop your ice cream cone. Other times you wake up on a balcony with no shoes and a collection of photos of you in a sombrero posing with random strangers taking up all the storage space on your phone.
I scroll through at least two dozen of them before I shove my phone back in my pocket and rub my hand over my eyes.
I don’t even own a fucking sombrero.
Nor would I ever let someone put one anywhere near my head if I were sober. If the fact that my head’s throbbing, my throat’s so dry even breathing is painful, and I’m freezing my ass off on a random balcony while the city slowly wakes up around me wasn’t proof enough, the photographic evidence concludes that I was pissed off my head last night.
Before yesterday, I hadn’t had a drink in two months. I’ve been back in Montreal for less than forty-eight hours, and I’m already face to face with the familiar sensation of wondering what the hell happened last night.
I sit up, hissing as my head protests against the sudden movement. Thank fuck it’s July, not October or some shit. I wouldn’t have feet left to stand on if this had happened any later in the year. Even as it is, I’m still freezing. The days are sweltering, but the nights have a habit of getting cold. I don’t know if it was the sound of traffic that woke me up, or my own shivering.
The pain in my head dulls enough for me to focus, and I pull my phone out again to check the time. That’s why I took it out in the first place, but I got distracted by the photos of last night’s fiesta of fuck-uppery.
It’s 6:15 in the morning. Gorgeous.
I pull up the maps app to see where the GPS is telling me I am. It looks like the apartment building is downtown, just a few blocks from my place. I grip the rail of the balcony and pull myself up until I’m standing, waiting a few moments for the nausea to pass.
I either lost half my tolerance for alcohol in the past two months, or I did myself in worse than I thought last night.
I pull my shit together enough to take the few steps over to the sliding glass door. A set of curtains is drawn across it, so I have no clue who or what is inside. I reach for the handle and pull.
It’s locked.
“Câlice,” I swear, tugging on it a few more times just to make sure.
I groan and then start tapping on the glass non-stop for the next thirty seconds. Nobody comes to the door. I knock harder. Eventually I hear someone shouting, muffled by the glass but getting easier to make out as they move closer to the door.
“Tabarnak! Arrête! J’men viens.”
The curtains part and a woman in a short black robe flips the latch up and pulls the door open. I recognize her right away.
“Roxanne?” I demand. “What the fuck?”
She puts her hands on her hips, her Québécois accent making her sound extra unimpressed. “I could ask you the same thing.”
“Is this your apartment?” I demand.
Of all the people whose balcony I expected this to be, the girlfriend of my band’s bassist was not one of them. Sweat starts to rise on the back of my neck. This could be a bigger fuck-up than I thought.
Roxanne glares at me, but steps back so I can join her in the apartment.
“Yes,” she answers tersely. “Were you seriously out here all night? I thought you left hours ago.”
“Apparently not,” I reply, reaching a hand up to try rubbing some more of the grit out of my eyes.
She stands and watches, shaking her head. “God, you really don’t remember anything, do you?”
I drop my hand and fix my gaze on her, fighting back the nausea that rose up in me again the second I saw her pull the curtain aside.
“Roxanne, I really need you to tell me what I’m doing at your apartment right now.”
She laughs at that, a harsh and haughty laugh that grates against my headache.
“You’re wondering if we slept together, aren’t you?”
I shrug. “Did we?”
She steps closer, her defensive posture relaxing as she stares up into my eyes. “And what if we did?”
I swallow.
Shit shit fucking shit.
Then she bursts out laughing again, backing away from me to collapse onto her couch.
“Mon dieu, Ace. You’re something else.”
She pats the cushion beside her, motioning for me to sit down as she continues to laugh at me.
“Trust me, Ace,” Roxanne continues, “even if I wasn’t dating your bassist, that would never happen in a million years. I’ve seen you with your head bent over a toilet too many times to ever want it near any part of my body.”
Even with a raging hangover and a slowly easing sense of dread still coiled around my gut, Roxanne mentioning all the parts of her body makes my dick jump. I’d never touch her, at least not in my right state of mind—I’ve seen her and Cole tear each other to emotional shreds too much over the years to ever want something like what they have for myself—but she is sitting here in a robe so short it’s hard not to stare at her thighs.
She notices where my attention’s gone.
“Oh, fuck off,” she warns me. “You’re lucky your face is still okay after the things you said last night. Don’t push it.”
“What?” I ask. “Did you try to beat me up or something?”
>
“No, Cole did.” She sighs. “Sometimes I don’t know how Sherbrooke Station even manages to function. Vous êtes tous complètement fous.”
She’s probably right about that; everyone in the band is completely crazy. I’d like to know just how much crazy I’m going to have to face today, though.
“Roxanne, what happened?”
“You got drunk. Really drunk.”
“Yeah, I gathered.”
She gets up and heads into her kitchen, switching on an expensive-looking coffee machine. For someone who manages a cafe for a living, she’s got a pretty sweet setup going on here. The apartment is huge by Montreal standards, and half the shit in here looks vintage in a cool, edgy kind of way—not the picked-it-up-on-the-side-of-the-road-because-it-was-free way that I’m used to seeing in my friends’ places.
“At the welcome back party, you told everyone you were just going to have one glass of champagne so you could make a toast. Then it was just one beer because you deserved it after making it through the whole tour sober. Then it was just one shot...” She opens a cupboard and pulls out two small white mugs. “We all saw where you were headed. I cut you off, but you disappeared with some guys for a bit and came back totally fucked. You were wearing a sombrero.”
I remember making that toast. Roxanne threw the band a party at the cafe last night to welcome us back to Montreal. We spent most of the summer on our first European tour and only landed two days ago. The last thing any of us wanted to do was drag our asses out to a party; after the non-stop travel and gigging, I could have slept for two weeks straight if I’d been allowed. No one wanted to say no after all the work Roxanne put in, though, and really, what kind of rock stars would we be if we bailed on a party to get some rest?
“Dedicated and successful ones,” Matt, our drummer, had grumbled to me when I asked him the same thing just before I got up to do my toast.
He’d wanted to be there even less than I had. The guy is a mother hen if I ever saw one, and I noticed him eyeing the glass in my hand with disapproval, but I shrugged it off. I could handle one fucking glass of champagne.
Apparently I was wrong.
“So where do we get to the part about Cole being threatening and me passing out on your balcony?”
“Cole offered to make sure you got home okay. He wanted to walk me home too, so we took you with us. You kept saying how much you needed to piss, so we brought you up to use my bathroom.”
I watch her do some complicated shit with the coffee machine before filling up the mugs and bringing them over.
“Roxanne, this is a really tiny coffee,” I tell her, reaching out to take the one she offers to me.
“It’s an espresso, and you’re an idiot. Drink it. It will help with your head.” She sets her own espresso down on the low table in front of us and continues with her story. “After we got you up here, you started acting like an asshole. I mean, more of an asshole. You wouldn’t leave. You kept asking how Cole and I ‘kept it interesting’ after all these years. You were...You said some really insulting shit.”
She looks away, and I know that if she can’t even bring herself to repeat it to me, whatever I said must have been bad.
“I swear I thought Cole was going to punch you out. You know how he gets when he’s mad. He doesn’t yell, he just looks...dangereux. I told him to ignore you, and then I told you to go out on the balcony and get some air. Cole and I talked for awhile before I went to bed. I thought he took you home and just spent the rest of the night at his place.”
“Nope.” I shake my head. “The fucker locked me out on a balcony all night.”
“Trust me, you deserved that.”
I don’t doubt she’s right. I pick up my stupidly tiny mug and take a sip. The coffee is too hot and too bitter for me to enjoy, but I down the whole thing in the hopes it will go right to my head.
“One last question before I can leave.”
Roxanne rolls her eyes. “Finally. What is it?”
“Where are my shoes?”
“They’re in my shower.”
I blink. “Your shower? Why are my shoes in your shower?”
She sips her espresso and shakes her head. “You’re going to have to ask Drunk Ace about that one.”
I get up and walk back over to her bathroom, pulling the shower curtain aside to find that she’s right. My Vans are sitting there in the tub. I lace them on and pat down my pockets, making sure my wallet and keys are there before I head to the apartment’s door.
“Hey, Ace?” Roxanne calls, just as I’m leaving.
“Yeah?”
“You should probably apologize to Cole,” she suggests, “but I’d maybe wait a few hours before you do that.”
I hear my own gasp as I sit up on my mattress and clutch the blankets, gulping down air like I just broke through the surface of a raging ocean and am about to be pulled back down. I whip my head from side to side as the screams echo in my ears, taking in the sight of my Les Paul on its stand and the tapestry hanging on the wall above my bed.
Calm the fuck down, asshole, shouts the part of my brain that’s not still caught up in the dream. You’re here. You’re not there. You’re not there anymore.
“Câlice,” I curse, brushing the hair out of my eyes before I reach for my phone to check the time.
It’s just before one in the afternoon. I went right to bed after getting back from Roxanne’s place. I glance at my windows, where there’s no sign of light pouring in. I lead a life where effective blackout curtains are a necessity.
I’ve lived in the same apartment for the past five years. Being in a chart-topping rock band hasn’t really cashed out yet—a lot of people in the music industry get famous for five minutes; not a lot of people get rich—but I could still afford to live somewhere way nicer than here. I moved into the studio when I was nineteen, just a few months before I was academically suspended by McGill University.
Most of the other units have students living in them. I’ve found fans hanging around the building a few times, which is all the more reason to find a place where it’s easier to keep a low profile, but I signed on for another year here anyway. There are so many guitars, books, and old CDs piled around the place that just thinking about moving gives me a fucking migraine.
Even if someone offered to sort all my shit out for me, I know I wouldn’t leave, though. This place is mine. Like an ink stain pooling on the floor, I’ve soaked into the scratched-up hardwood and bled into the cracks on the walls. I know every corner and crevice of these few square metres, know what the light catches on when the sun goes down, know which shadows loom the highest when I wake up covered in cold sweat and shivering in the middle of the night.
My phone’s blowing up with texts and calls from Matt. I open our conversation and scan through the messages, which contain a lot of swear words, capital letters, and repeated demands for me to explain what I did last night.
These kinds of texts used to be a part of my morning routine, right along with never waking up before noon. Being shuttled around Europe with no time to spare for the past two months helped with kicking the habit, but it looks like I’ve hit ground zero again.
Okay, maybe slightly above ground zero. Making a move on Roxanne would have been ground zero.
I decide to give Mother Hen Matt a call to pacify the bastard for a bit.
“Is this a call to tell me why you’re late for the meeting?” he greets me.
I stumble out of bed, making my way over to the curtains. “What meeting?”
I pull the fabric back a few inches and wince at the light before drawing the curtain back in place.
“Does no one check the band’s Facebook group?” Matt shouts into my ear.
“Um, no, Matt. No one does. You made a Facebook group for four people. We all told you it was stupid.”
Matt made the group after our label, Atlas Records, coerced our old manager into resigning and basically declared war on our band. It’s been more of a cold war, fought thr
ough passive-aggressive emails and deliberate scheduling conflicts, but we’re stuck putting up with it until we get our next two albums out and complete the terms of our contract. Matt uses his Facebook group and ‘Undercover Band Meetings’ to make sure we’re keeping on track.
JP, our man bun-sporting keyboardist, uses the group to send us memes and photos of girls he matches with on Tinder.
I open Facebook up on my phone. “Um, let’s see. That’s a cat. That’s a girl named Dannika. That’s a cat. That’s a girl named Ashley who is holding a cat. Oh, there it is: ‘Urgent band meeting in the basement at 12:30 today. Be there or I will show up at your apartment and drag your useless ass out of bed myself. That means you, Ace.’ Sacrement, Matt, did you tag me? In our Facebook group of four people?”
“Just get over here. Now.”
He hangs up.
I chuck my phone on my bed and groan. What I really need is a scalding hot shower and two more of Roxanne’s espressos, but I grab a t-shirt off the floor and slip into my shoes.
My building is just on the edge of the McGill student ghetto and only a few streets down from the Sherbrooke Station metro stop. Our old rehearsal space—and our only one before we signed with Atlas and got access to their state of the art rooms and equipment—is in the basement of a building right across from the station. That’s how we ended up getting our name.
I take the stairs two at a time after making the short walk over. The familiar smell of sweat, old furniture, and the lingering trace of delivery pizza that never really goes away hits me the second I walk in the room. The scent would be enough to make other people turn around and leave, but to me it smells like music. This is what late nights spent hunched over a soundboard smell like. This is what a room smells like after it’s incubated potential for four years and given birth to a hit.