The teenager standing next to Mace eyes me sympathetically but answers my question. “I live with a woman, they can’t hide shit.”
Mace leans down, but I can hear what he’s saying, “Just because your mom isn’t here doesn’t mean you won’t get fined.” He taps his head. “I’m keeping a tally, lil’ Bro.”
The kid rolls his eyes.
“Hey, Lizard, meet Castiel. Castiel, meet Lizard. Or Liz as we call him.” Mace now addresses me. “His mom, Vanna, is an old friend and they’ve come to visit. They’re going to be staying for the weekend. She’s up getting settled in Demon’s room.”
So they’re not sleeping together? Or probably that’s where the kid will be while his mom warms Mace’s bed.
“We’ve just come down to grab a couple of sodas.”
“Your visitors want something to eat?” Nails asks as he grabs the drinks and puts them on the bar. “Think there are some leftovers.”
“No,” says Mace.
“Yes,” says the kid at the same time.
“We stopped for food on the way here,” Mace challenges him.
“So?” The kid, Cas, shrugs. “I’m a growing boy, what can I say?”
Mace laughs. “You’re the devil’s spawn, that’s what you are.” He ruffles the kid’s head. “Come on, let’s see what these fuckers left.”
“Language!” the boy admonishes him.
As the pair walks away, my eyes follow them, and I shake my head. Mace seems really friendly with that kid. Strange he’s never mentioned him or his mom before. Even stranger, yesterday I’d have sworn she was a total stranger to him. But what do I know? Ruefully I rub my head where the pain has now dimmed to just a dull residual ache. Can’t trust this brain of mine to know whether I’m imagining things or if they’re real.
“Head bad?”
“Not great.” I give a half-smile at Tulia’s obvious concern.
She takes hold of my hand. “Come on, how about I make you feel better?”
That sounds fucking good. I already know she gives great head massages which have worked a time or two before, and when my head’s eased, well, there are other things she can do with her hands. And her mouth.
Tulia does indeed make me feel better. When she leaves having provided me with a variety of her services, I fall asleep fast. Waking, I’m sweating with the gunfire and explosions from my nightmare still ringing in my head. My body shaking, I go to the bathroom and take a long piss. I look into the mirror, noticing my bloodshot eyes. Christ, that dream was a fucker. I haven’t had one so bad in a long time. I wonder what brought it on.
Returning to my bedroom, I eye the bed with distaste, not trusting the nightmare not to return if I close my eyes again. Moving to the window, I pull up the blind and see the night sky lightening. Suddenly an early morning ride looks a more attractive option than sleep.
The clubhouse is deadly quiet when I leave. When I return several hours later, it’s a hive of activity. Breakfast noises of the clattering of plates are coming from the kitchen, accompanied by the glorious smell of bacon. Can anyone ever get fed up with that? Not me, that’s for certain.
I grab a plate, thanking Jeannie, and to annoy her man, Bomber, plant a kiss to her cheek, then getting out of his way, head to the clubroom to find myself an empty seat. I spy the woman, Vanna, wasn’t it? who Mace brought in last evening sitting alone, but no sign of my brother or the kid. The wind therapy having done wonders, I feel sociable today, I decide to go over.
She’s got a cup of coffee in front of her, and her nose in a book. Or eyes on her e-reader, the modern equivalent.
She looks up as I near. “Good morning, Lizard.”
“You remember my name?”
“I met you before.”
Yes. The day before yesterday, of course. Mace had told her my name. Hadn’t he said she’d come to find me? I shake my head. Must be getting muddled, it must have been him she’d come to see.
“Where’s your boy?”
“Cas,” she gives me his name. “Mace has taken Cas to your auto-shop. He had to go down to check something out, and Cas loves anything to do with cars and bikes, so he tagged along.” The way she bites her lip makes her look worried.
“What’s up with that?”
“Nothing wrong with what he’s seeing, it’s how he’s getting there that concerns me. He’s gone on the back of Mace’s bike.”
“First time?”
“Yessss.”
“Well, don’t worry. Mace is a good rider. He’ll take extra care with a passenger.”
“Thank you for that.” She seems genuinely grateful for my reassurance.
I’m burning to ask why she’s here, but I don’t think it’s my place. She proves herself a mind reader.
“You’re probably wondering why we’re here. Cas, well, Cas has had a bit of trouble recently, and I’m on my own. Mace thought he and you, his brothers, might help steady Cas a bit.”
I nod toward her left hand where I’ve just noticed a wedding band rests. “Your husband’s no help with that?”
“My husband’s gone.”
The way she’s spoken makes me surmise he’s dead. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”
She shakes her head. “It’s a long time ago now.”
“But you still wear his ring?”
“I still love him.”
Her simple words both impress and dismay me, that she can remain true to a man who’s in his grave. Or at least, in some ways. I’m driven to check. “So, you and Mace?”
“Just friends.”
For now, I think to myself. Knowing my brother and how unusually patient he seems to be with her son, I think that change might be on the horizon for her.
I chuckle, remembering last night, and being unable to stop myself messing with her, I lean in. “You know what Mace calls the kid?”
“Er, Cas?”
“Nah,” I tell her, a smirk on my face. “Devil’s spawn.”
Her hand covers her mouth as she gives a tinkling laugh. “Oh my God, he’s right. That’s exactly what he is.” As she continues chuckling, I’m thinking it wasn’t as funny as all that, but it seems to have appealed to her. I’m wondering exactly what this Cas did to earn such a title. But hey, aren’t all kids trouble? That’s why I never want any myself.
A reminder goes on my phone.
“That’s my cue to leave, I’ve got to get to work. I run a tattoo parlour, and Saturdays are the busiest days of the week. Hey, you want any ink, you come to me, darlin’.”
“Thank you, I’ll remember that.”
I start to stand, and for some reason am driven to ask. “You got any tats already?”
She blushes red. “Just one.”
“Oh?” I don’t know why, but something makes me want to know more. Call it professional curiosity, I like checking up on another artist’s work. “Can I see it?”
“No,” she tells me. Then adds, “Only my husband has ever seen it.”
Oh fuck no. I rise with a semi hard-on imagining exactly where it is. Quickly I leave and escape to Devil’s Ink.
It’s a busy day and I hardly have a moment to myself. We end up turning away a lot of walk-ins even with Jonah, Whale and Vi all working alongside me. But we don’t waste the opportunity, trying to book those who’re not members of the must have it done today brigade into the quieter times during the week.
When I finally close up and return to the compound, word reaches me that Demon’s issued a command, no public fucking while the kid’s around. As I presume he’ll be gone tomorrow, that’s not going to be too hard. Particularly as I’m exhausted, a nice gentle fuck in my room is probably all that I’m up for.
I eat, drink, socialise. I notice Mace and the kid playing pool while Vanna looks on. I watch Mace get beat, then, can’t resist wandering over to see he’s getting slaughtered by Vanna too. I linger as he tries a rematch, finding my eyes drawn to her delicious ass as she leans over the table to take her shots. The table that she’d probably b
e disgusted to know the other things that it’s used for. But the prospects do clean it.
I’m pushed away when Vi, Jay, Steph and Beth gather around to cheer her on. Vanna goes on to beat Rusty and Sparky, then no one else will play her. At one point she notices me watching and looks straight at me and winks.
Wondering whether it was her late husband who taught her to play as expertly as she does, I take myself off to find Breezy to ease the sudden ache in my dick.
That night I have another fucking nightmare. Fuck this shit. I thought I was done with it. It’s the type of dream you can’t catch hold of when you awake but are just left with that lingering feeling of helplessness and terror making you afraid to chance anymore sleep. I’m tired as hell though, so I try to drop off, but keep jerking back awake. I don’t rush to get out of bed the next morning, just lazing and thinking. Remembering.
I’m Lizard, otherwise known as Norton James. I ride with the Satan’s Devils MC and have done for the past ten years. I’m thirty-eight years old, and my birthday is the tenth of January. I’m a tattoo artist and I run Devil’s Ink on behalf of my brothers. I’ve no ties, no family and that’s the way I intend to stay.
When I finally rise, I just grab a bacon sandwich and eat it on the way to my bike.
I work Sundays, letting Vi and Jonah have the day off. Whale and I handle the trade well between us, him impressing me with his standard of work and how tidy he keeps his station. So much so, I even call him Weston a couple of times and ordered in pizza for us both at lunchtime.
By the time I get home, Mace has gone and so have Vanna and Cas. Tits are out, well those of the club girls at least, and gloves are off as anything goes again. The place is back to normal and I can relax.
Funnily enough, I think to myself, looking around the crowded room, I didn’t even have much to do with him, but I miss that little shit. Devil’s spawn indeed. Sounds like Mace came up with a good name.
I even catch myself wondering whether he’ll be visiting again.
Chapter Nine
Mace
Once Cas had returned from his second trip upstairs to collect yet another thing which he’d forgotten to pack, I’m at last able to put the truck into drive and start the journey back to Denver. I’d enjoyed watching the interaction between mother and son, realising how much there was to all this parenting shit, and how having the patience of Job was essential.
“Have you got everything, Cas?”
With an exaggerated eye roll he’d replied tiredly, “Yes, Mom.”
“Phone charger?”
Cas had stared, then turned, and reaching the stairs, took them two at a time.
“Toothbrush?” she’d asked when he’d come back down, sending him running back to the bedroom again and descending with his bag of toiletries in his hand. She hadn’t commented, just thrown a wink my way.
But her moment of parental satisfaction hadn’t lasted long. I didn’t miss the look of longing and regret she’d sent in the direction of the clubhouse when we finally got on our way and wasn’t surprised that the drive started in silence.
Glancing to my side, I see Vanna with a pinched look on her face. Her eyes are directed forward, but I suspect she’s not taking much notice of what she’s seeing. Not surprising, she’s got much to contemplate. For a start, spending a weekend on a biker compound where something is always going on is probably very different to how she normally spends her free days. The noise level for a start, music, talking, laughter and there were even a couple of brothers getting rowdy and pushing each other about. All good-natured, of course, but to an outsider, it could be disturbing.
She’d handled it in her stride as I suspect she does most everything else, her reaction fuelling my growing admiration for her, together with a better understanding of how well she’s coped bringing up Cas alone.
Apart from the general atmosphere, she’d stayed for two days in a place where her husband lives, the man who doesn’t recognise her, or acknowledges their relationship.
It had been last night when Lizard had led a giggling and expectant Breezy up the staircase, clearly heading to his room, that I’d caught her staring, her hands clenched at her sides. Mixed emotions crossed her face—anger, betrayal, longing, desire, disgust, and finally defeat. Immediately, I’d crossed to her side and spoken quietly to her.
“You use a vibrator, Vanna?” The shock on her face had me swallowing back laughter.
“None of your business, Mace.”
She tries to turn away, but I don’t let her escape. “I bet you do.” I nudged her with my elbow. “Got a fancy rabbit one, or a G-spot stimulator?”
“None of your business,” she spitted out again, her eyes widened in horror. “This conversation is over.”
“Hear me out,” I snapped. My commanding tone got her eyes on my face.
I nodded toward the staircase where Liz had just disappeared. “Men and women have needs. You’ve probably got a BOB that you’re friendly with. Me and my brothers? Well, we’ve got the whores. Means no more to us than a session with your vibrator.”
Her eyes narrowed and moistened. “How the hell can you say that, Mace? Lizard’s gone off with a flesh and blood woman, not one who’s battery operated.”
I tapped my forehead. “It’s in here that matters. Breezy, Tulia, hell, any of the girls could leave any time, and we’d miss them about as much as if one of your toys broke. New girl comes along? Well, she’ll do instead. What I’m saying, Vanna, is that there’s no emotional commitment. None at fuckin’ all. Lizard’s not stepping out on you, he’s just using her for a sexual release. You feel guilty using your vibrator?”
“Of course I don’t. But—”
“Lizard doesn’t either. Add to that, darlin’, he thinks he’s a free man.”
She was quiet for a moment. I watched as she considered my words. I know it’s hard for someone who doesn’t live in our world to understand our relationship with the club girls.
“Don’t judge Lizard for what he can’t remember,” I pushed once again. “If he knew he was married and still stepped out on you, your anger would be justified. Lizard’s got no reason to think he’s being unfaithful. Again, I tell you, it’s just sex. No emotion, no loving. No attachment. A mutual itch scratched, nothing else.”
Finally, I seemed to get through to her, the tension in her body receded slightly. “It still hurts, Mace. Knowing that doesn’t make me feel much better.”
Putting my arm around her, I gave her a much-needed hug. “I know, Vanna. I know.”
“I hate that Cas has seen too. He’ll never understand.”
My cheeks actually started to burn. “I, er, may have had a similar conversation with the kid.”
Again, her eyes widened, her brows rose to meet her hairline. “You what? Mace!”
“Hell, darlin’. You wanted him to have a male influence, well, I spoke to him, man-to-man.”
Her head was shaking, turning one way then the other. Her movement continued for a few seconds. “He was okay with it?”
“He’d rather his dad was fuckin’ his mother, but yeah, he’s okay with it.”
“Please tell me you didn’t use those exact words, Mace?”
I think she was worried I had traumatised her son forever. “Not precisely.” I didn’t admit I’d come damn close to it.
But fuck me, Vanna having Liz’s infidelity right up in her face must be fucking hard. I wonder whether she’d ever be able to forgive him, even if Lizard woke up one day and remembered her. Or whether Liz would ever be able to forgive himself. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, I remember.
I check in the rearview mirror. Cas’s brows are drawn down, and his hands are clenched in fists.
“How did you think it went?” I ask, in general. My question directed at whoever wants to answer.
“You were right, Mace,” comes a voice from the back seat. “I didn’t understand until I saw my father.” He pauses for a moment. “He didn’t leave because he wanted to, it wasn’
t Dad who abandoned us. It wasn’t his fault. I was holding onto my anger as I didn’t have anything else. So I’m not the only kid at school being raised without a father, but it hurt, Mace. I wanted him to be there and cheer me on when I got a home run or a good grade.”
“Cas,” Vanna starts.
“Mom, I blamed him for not being there. Now I’ve seen him… I don’t know. It made sense. I don’t like it. I’m frustrated as hell I can’t get through to him, but, yeah, it’s all making sense.”
“How about you, Vanna?”
She’s quiet before she speaks. “I’m glad Cas saw his dad. I’m glad he’s getting a chance to know his father, even if it’s the man now and not who he was. But for me? It hurt, Mace. It hurt.”
“You want him back.” It’s a statement, not a question. Anyone watching her can see she still loves him. Despite all his faults and the substitutes he uses for a vibrator.
“He’s not right, is he, Mace?” Cas speaks again. “Those headaches…”
I don’t know how to respond. Lizard is convinced he just needs glasses to sort himself out, and last week I would have thought that was the answer. Knowing now how serious his brain injury was, that it had almost killed him, the headaches which seem to be increasing both in intensity and occurrence are beginning to worry me too, making me think there might be something very wrong with my brother.
“He’s got an appointment with the VA doctor soon. I’ll make sure he goes, Cas.”
“He’s been staying away?”
“Yeah, Vanna, he has. He thinks he’s fine and doesn’t need to see anyone.”
“Do you think he knows that he can’t remember? That there’s a huge hole in his life?”
I give her question the weight it deserves. It’s something I’d never have thought to ask myself until I knew Lizard’s background. Little things I missed now begin to add together, forming a picture of my friend which I’d never previously considered.
I flick the turn signal, swing past a slow-moving truck and trailer, and then when I’m back in the lane, answer, “I’m pretty sure he does, Vanna. But as the things he needs to know are the things he remembers, he’s living with it and coping.” I’d actually been talking about this with Demon and Beef. The gaps Lizard has, hurt her and his son, but not the man himself. Or not on the surface. It had made us more determined to help her and give Cas that male influence that was missing from his life. I issue the invite Demon had extended. “You’re welcome to come back next weekend, if you want to.”
Devil's Spawn: Satan's Devils MC Colorado Chapter #6 Page 8