by Jayne Bamber
“She is a very kind woman. I assure you, I am fully cognizant of the good fortune my family has had in finding ourselves in such capable hands. They could have just as easily collided with the carriage of a much less generous family.”
“They are a generous family – I do not know if you realize just how much they may be willing to do. I know my sister and her husband well, Mr. Gardiner, and if you were to speak to them candidly about your plans for the future of those three girls – including any doubts you might have about raising them yourself, Mr. Darcy would agree to raise them here at Pemberley.”
“And Lady Anne desires this?”
“She desires it so deeply that she will likely be unable to give voice to it. That is why it must be Darcy. He knows his wife’s heart, and he would give her anything she desired in this world. It must be for him to work through her guilt, and persuade her to accept it. The guilt she feels over causing your sister’s death will lead her to deny herself that which would give her the greatest joy, should you wish for them to take in your nieces. Darcy will agree to it, to spare her the burden of taking what she wants, for she believes that she is to blame for their being orphaned in the first place. And yet, she would be a good mother to them. Do you think you might be amenable to such an arrangement?”
“To be perfectly honest with your lordship, I cannot even imagine ever presuming to ask such a thing of them.”
“And if I were to speak on your behalf? Let us suppose their agreement is a certainty –– could you like such an arrangement? Does the challenge of raising them outweigh the pain of being separated from them?”
Mr. Gardiner let out a heavy sigh. They had been walking about the lawn for some time, and he approached a bench nearby. “I believe I must sit down for a moment, if you will permit me. This is a lot to think on, and today has been… taxing.”
“Yes, of course,” the earl replied, though he remained standing.
“To answer your question, I suppose what I feel in this matter is of the least importance. Let us say, for the sake of argument, that your sister and her husband would agree to such a thing. It would certainly be in the best interest of the girls, that is an indisputable fact. Your family could give them things I certainly never could – the advantages are almost incomprehensible to me. To have a mother, a kind and gentle one, a father, brother, and even cousins nearby – not to mention your sister’s situation in life.... Even if I thought myself up to the hardest task of bringing them up in London, which is daunting but not impossible, I daresay – how could such an upbringing possibly compare? How could I face them, knowing what I had denied them? No, I cannot deny my sister the opportunity that has been offered to her, and I could no more do the same to my nieces. I could not live with myself. But I should hate to think them lost to me forever – that is, I would not wish to seem as though I were putting myself forward, but I should still like to see them, to be permitted visits, especially if Phyllis is nearby. And what of my sister? Would my nieces know their aunt only as the companion to their lady grandmother?” Mr. Gardiner realized he was babbling – he must seemed a damned fool to the earl.
“It sounds as if there is a long conversation with Mr. Darcy ahead of us, sir. Think it over for the day; I could ride over tomorrow, if you wish it.”
“I will think it over, and speak with Mr. Darcy in the morning, if he is available. I thank you for your interest in the matter, and I shall send word to you if anything is resolved.”
“Very good, Mr. Gardiner. I do hope I have done all of you a favor – I believe it will all work out to everyone’s satisfaction.” The earl extended his hand, and Mr. Gardiner stood to shake it before returning to the manor, where he sat in the library in quiet speculation for quite some time.
4
December 1794, Derbyshire
“I have brought you a cold compress – I thought it might be time to change out your bandages,” Lady Anne said meekly, giving a perfunctory knock on the open door to the library.
Mr. Gardiner nodded and gestured for Lady Anne to take a seat beside him as he set aside the damp rag he had been holding to his bruised face for the last few hours. Lady Anne busied herself with changing out the bandage at his temple before offering him the cold compress and taking a seat near the window that overlooked the lawn. “How is your headache?”
“No worse than I deserve, I suppose,” he replied, flinching as he pressed the cold compress against his bruised face.
“I cannot agree with that,” she chided. “How could you have known? I blame myself. I reside but five miles away – I ought to have known of Miss Fisher’s new attachment. I could have warned you.”
“And I ought to have exercised better judgment, and heeded her father’s warning to keep away,” Mr. Gardiner side. He had struggled to remain strong in the face of his heartbreak, but finally succumbed to his desperate yearning to see Madeline, to win her back. He had been soundly throttled for his efforts by her new beau, a man of considerable means as well as muscle.
“Are you quite sure you do not wish to report that awful man to the magistrate?”
Mr. Gardiner considered. “I cannot see what it would accomplish. If he is jailed or fined, Madeline will despise me even more than she does now.”
“You do not suppose – he would not harm Miss Fisher, would he?”
Mr. Gardiner knew not what to say. The truth, which he could hardly bear to admit to the woman who had through six months of correspondence become quite a dear friend to him, was that he rather deserved the thrashing he had received. He had disregarded Madeline’s wishes and proper decorum itself by returning to the parsonage to see her, only to make some rather spiteful comments once he had discovered how quickly his former fiancé had recovered from their broken engagement and bestowed her affections elsewhere. In short, he had provoked the man, and gotten what he deserved.
Unable to own up to his own behavior – he recalled with a near certainty that he had thrown the first punch – Mr. Gardiner thought it best to change the subject. After all, this was the Christmas visit he and his sister had long looked forward to, and he could not bear the idea of ruining it for her, or for their nieces and the Darcys. “Lady Eleanor is going to have a conniption when she sees me.”
Lady Anne laughed. “Indeed, Mamma has taken quite a fancy to you. She dotes on your dear sister, and takes an eager interest in the letters you send Miss Gardiner, as well as myself. She calls you her young beau.”
“Oh my,” Mr. Gardiner said, both mortified and amused. “Perhaps she might change her mind on that score, when she sees me like this. I hope I do not frighten the children!”
“We must come up with a story for their sake, I think. Perhaps we could tell them that you fell out of a tree, rescuing a kitten? George told me the tabby in the barn had another litter, and thought one of the kittens might make a fine gift for the girls, though I would have preferred a puppy.”
“Fanny loved animals – I think the girls would do well with a kitten, and it is certainly a better tale to tell them about why I am looking rather worse for wear.”
“They shall think you quite the hero,” Lady Anne said with a smile, and gestured for him to join her by the window.
Mr. Gardiner stood near her and they peered outside together. The snow had started just the day before, when he had arrived at Pemberley, and there was just enough of it on the ground as to render the landscape unspeakably beautiful. Indeed, nothing could be more picturesque than the sight before him, his nieces playing on the lawn with the earl’s three children and young William Darcy.
“My brother’s children have come to stay with us for a while – he has a house full of visitors at Matlock, and thought it best the children remain someplace... quieter.”
“I see,” Mr. Gardiner replied, uncertain why Lady Anne should appear so concerned by her brother’s house party. “More Fitzwilliams come to enjoy the festivities?”
“Something like that,” she said with a thin smile. “It is the cou
ntess’s family. Her father is the Earl of Abingdon. He has brought his youngest daughter, the countess’s sister – perhaps you have heard of her? Lady Olivia Bertie – I believe her name has been in the papers lately....”
“It sounds familiar, but I cannot recall why. At any rate, it is good to see the girls getting on with their cousins.”
They were interrupted by Mr. Darcy, who ambled into the library with his steward’s son, a boy of about nine or ten, trailing behind him excitedly. “There you are, Edward! I was worried I would not know your face, old chap – Anne said it was all black and blue, but I daresay you shall be right as rain by Twelfth Night!”
Mr. Gardiner glanced at Lady Anne, who gave a sheepish shrug as her exaggeration was exposed. “I am well enough, though my battle scars are gruesome to behold,” he said wryly.
Mr. Darcy laughed. “Very good, very good. Well, if you are of a mind to ice those bruises and scrapes, you must join young Wickham and me – we are to surprise the other children with a snowball fight. Dare I hope you shall go easy on me?” He winked.
Lady Anne swatted at her husband. “Shocking, George!”
“I should be happy to join you,” Mr. Gardiner replied, “though as I am the one who is nearly injured past recognition, perhaps it is you who ought to show some mercy.”
***
The twelve days of Christmas were merry enough to keep Mr. Gardiner’s mind off of his troubles, with frequent visits between Matlock and Pemberley, and finer food and company than he was accustomed to. All this, and more importantly, the delight his nieces felt at his inclusion in the festivities, served to heal not only his physical wounds but those of his heart. Seeing Phyllis content, both valued and indulged by the dowager countess, pleased Mr. Gardiner immensely. Knowing his nieces were likewise treasured, not only by the Darcys but all of their extended family, brought him an even greater joy. He had made the right decision in leaving them at Pemberley to be wards of the Darcys, rather than trying to raise them alone in London.
His time at Pemberley passed faster than he would have wished. Each day was so full of activity, and warm affection from his new friends that he felt some glimmer of hope that all would be well. Thus, when he arrived with the Darcys at Matlock Hall for the Twelfth Night ball, he was determined to be of good cheer.
He had yet to dance with anyone aside from the dowager countess, who enjoyed his company in spite of the fading bruises on his face, but he was several drinks in when Mr. Darcy approached and drew him aside. “Come, Edward, I must have you dance. I hate to see you standing about by yourself in this stupid manner – you had much better dance.”
“I am sure I should like it very much, but I am not particularly acquainted with anyone in the room.” Knowing the dowager countess was well within earshot, Mr. Gardiner winked at his friend and continued, “I have already danced with your mother-in-law, the handsomest woman in the room – it would be a punishment to stand up with anyone else after such a pleasure.”
Mr. Darcy laughed. “Not still pining for Miss Fisher, I hope.”
Mr. Gardiner shook his head, and tried to sound convincing. “I have put her from my mind entirely, I assure you. I have far too much to be grateful for, to dwell on the disappointment.”
“Good man. Well then, what say you to partnering Lady Olivia Bertie? I daresay she must be handsome enough to tempt you.” Mr. Darcy inclined his head in the lady’s direction, but Mr. Gardiner was aware of who she was. They had been introduced when the Fitzwilliams had come to Pemberley on Christmas Day, though they had spoken but little. At the time he had been too occupied with his nieces to spare much time for anyone else, and he could just as easily suppose that the bruises on his face had not been particularly alluring to such a beautiful woman.
“She is quite a sight,” Mr. Gardiner acknowledged. Lady Olivia was spectacular in the truest sense of the word. Her person was very elegant, her curves exquisite, and her gown obviously expensive and tailored to flatter what nature had given her, even to the point of pushing the bounds of propriety. The spectacle was completed by the wide variety of reactions he had seen her inspire in those around her. The dowager countess would not speak to her, her sister the countess and Lady Anne seemed to look at her with inexplicable pity, and the other ladies present merely gave her a wide berth, which he supposed must be due to the amount of interest she seemed to inspire in the gentlemen.
Mr. Gardiner had never been the type of man to find himself drawn to the loveliest girl in the room; he liked a pretty face well enough, but preferred it to be coupled with a more reserved demeanor, and Lady Olivia struck him as far from shy. As if sensing his eyes on her, she glanced over and gave him a coy smile, then flicked open her fan to hide everything but her dark, piercing eyes.
“It is a shame she is not dancing more,” Mr. Darcy observed. “Come, let us go and speak with her. I am always moved to pity the poor young ladies who are slighted by other men.”
It was true; though Lady Olivia was attracting a great deal of attention from the gentlemen present, none had stood up with her. Mr. Gardiner decided that should not deter him, and he followed Mr. Darcy across the room. Lady Olivia watched with obvious pleasure as they made their approach. She rose from her seat and flagged down a footman carrying a tray of champagne, and took a long sip from her glass as she observed them.
“I hope you have brought me some amusing company, Mr. Darcy. I find the entertainment tonight rather disappointing compared to London.”
Mr. Darcy looked rather taken aback, but Mr. Gardiner schooled his countenance into a determined smile. “If it would amuse you to dance the next with me, Lady Olivia, I hope I shall not disappoint.” He gave a little bow and watched with pleasure as Lady Olivia broke into a wide smile.
“And if you do, how shall you make amends?”
“Well, let me see. The last time I disappointed a lady, I acquired quite a fine arrangement of color on my face – here, you can still see what’s left of that reproof, so I shall simply have to do my best to entertain you.”
Mr. Darcy looked on with nervous approbation, and Lady Olivia gave a coquettish nod of her head. “Very well then, sir, but you must be forewarned, my standards are very high.”
Mr. Gardiner took Lady Olivia by the hand and led her to the set that was just forming. She was an intimidating woman, despite appearing quite young – she couldn’t have been more than eighteen. And yet, there was a look of great sophistication and intelligence about her, a wit that wanted some occupation, and it was rather fearful to behold.
“Did a lady really give you those bruises, sir? I have wondered about them since first we met. I concocted a story in my own mind, one dull night at Pemberley, but I am sure my own version of events is far more thrilling than reality – that is often the case.”
“It was not a lady,” Mr. Gardiner replied. “It was her new fiancé. And since you were hoping for something quite shocking, I shall tell you candidly that I quite deserved it.”
Lady Olivia’s eyes were wide and bright as she laughed. “My goodness, what luck for me – an interesting man at last – and finally one to whom even I seem a wiser choice!”
Mr. Gardiner could tell from the trace of challenge in her voice that this must be some allusion to what Lady Anne had hinted at, what seemed to be some thinly veiled secret about the stunning creature before him. And yet, he found he did not care. Intoxicated by her pertly expressed interest in him, he simply wanted to enjoy a lively dance with a beautiful woman, and keep the memory of Madeline Fisher tucked away where it belonged.
“If you have no broad-shouldered beau with a penchant for boxing lurking about, I think we shall both be quite safe,” he teased her.
“No,” she said in a breathy voice, “I haven’t got one of those.”
Their dance together was a pleasant one; her willingness to flirt was gratifying, and he was emboldened by the ease with which he was able to recommend himself to his partner. He had little to say of himself that would not instant
ly expose him as far beneath her notice, but she seemed bent on turning the conversation to her own amusement, and he was content to listen to her speak of her time at court, while he soaked in the sight of her.
As he led her from the dance floor toward the refreshment table afterward, they were approached by the Earl of Matlock. Mr. Gardiner began to fear he had crossed a line in so openly enjoying the company of the earl’s sister-in-law, but Lord Matlock clapped him on the back and smiled. “Well done, Gardiner. What a splendid couple the two of you made out there. Well done, indeed.”
Lady Olivia gave the earl a sardonic look before curtseying to Mr. Gardiner. “If the two of you are going to discuss me as if I am not even present, I suppose I shall leave you to it.” She winked at Mr. Gardiner and gave her brother-in-law one last impertinent roll of her eyes before she moved away.
Indifferent to Lady Olivia’s behavior, the earl remained focused on Mr. Gardiner, and led him toward the edge of the ballroom. “The two of you certainly seemed to get on well.”
“Yes, I suppose so. I hope I have not offended your lordship in any way.”
The earl guffawed and clapped Mr. Gardiner on the back again. “Far from it, my good man, far from it.” He glanced around them, noticing as Mr. Gardiner had that Lady Anne was standing at some remove, her arms crossed, her countenance full of disapproval. The earl looked away, pretending not to notice, and continued addressing Mr. Gardiner. “It occurs to me that we ought to continue this conversation somewhere more private. I hope you enjoy cigars and brandy as much as I do.”
Mr. Gardiner agreed that he did, and followed the earl to the library, away from the condition of the ball. Lord Matlock gestured for Mr. Gardiner to be seated and poured them each a generous amount of brandy before he retrieved the cigar box from his desk and sat down across from his guest. Still unsure as to the nature of their conversation, Mr. Gardiner accepted the proffered cigar with some hesitation, and thanked the earl.