by Jayne Bamber
Elizabeth watched Jane blush and greet Richard with a strange sort of giddy shyness, but Richard addressed Lady Anne. “What a fine thing, all of us together at Christmas! We have William and Mary to thank for that, I think, though my father would take all the credit.”
“It was Lizzy’s idea, I am sure,” Mary said, giving Elizabeth a smile of encouragement.
“Uncle Henry can take all the credit he likes,” Elizabeth replied with a pert smile, and out of habit she nudged Richard with her shoulder before recollecting herself. “I am content to enjoy the result.”
“So are we all, my dear,” her mother replied with a sigh of contentment. “Myself most of all.”
***
Richard remained at Upper Brook Street after Lady Anne had taken Mary and Jane home, though she waited for Uncle Edward for quite some time. To Elizabeth’s dismay, Rose perversely decided to venture upstairs and look in on the twins, leaving Richard and Elizabeth alone in the drawing room.
To Richard, it seemed the most natural thing in the world, and he did not leave his seat beside her on the sofa as he turned to address her, asking how she felt after the visit.
“Relieved, I think,” she answered.
“I can well imagine. After so long a separation, the first visit could not be easy, but I think it went rather well, though I suspect there must have been a great deal of waterworks before I arrived.”
“Indeed there was – and yet, I felt so happy, so... whole again. As if perhaps being together like this at Christmas might somehow be a chance to make up for all the other Christmases that have gone so wrong. It was painful, but a pleasant sort of pain. I must sound quite mad.”
He nudged her shoulder with his. “It has been many years, I am sure, since I thought you were mad.”
“Shocking reply! And here I thought you wished to hear my feelings.”
Again Elizabeth felt a strange sort of anxiety in her stomach, and as she met Richard’s eye, she saw that he felt it too. “On one subject,” said he, “I very much wish to know your feelings. You need not feel obliged to consider anyone’s opinion but your own, but I should like to know how you feel about....”
He had taken her hand in his, when they were interrupted by the sound of Uncle Edward returning. “About Christmas,” Richard finished, looking away from her with some embarrassment as he withdrew his hand.
“Christmas?” Elizabeth stared at him with bewilderment, relieved to see her uncle striding into the room.
Uncle Edward glanced nervously between Elizabeth and Richard, who repeated, “Yes, Christmas. Sir Edward, what a shame you just missed Aunt Anne and Jane and Mary. Lizzy and I have been speaking of our plans for Christmas this year.”
Uncle Edward eyed them incredulously. “We are still to dine at Darcy House for Christmas, are we not?”
“Indeed,” Elizabeth answered, “and we have been invited to dine there day after next, as well.”
“Exactly so,” Richard agreed. “With two happy gatherings in the space of one week to look forward to, Lizzy and I were hoping it should really feel like Christmas again at last, as it did in years past. I know it would mean the world to Aunt Anne.”
Elizabeth smiled, relieved at the life line he had thrown her. Not only had he deftly skirted the matter of what she suspected he truly wished to speak to her about, but he had subtly suggested a way she might really make amends to her family. “I remember what a happy time it once was for us all, how festive it once felt, all of us gathered together, singing Christmas carols, hanging holly, exchanging gifts and making merry. Can we not attempt to recreate the atmosphere? I am sure Mamma would be so pleased, and I should like to make her happy.”
“They have only just arrived at Darcy House, and there is not a trace of holiday cheer to be found there,” Richard said with a playful glint in his eye.
Uncle Edward took his usual chair and stoked his chin pensively. “What an idea. We shall have to bring it to them.”
9
Elizabeth, her uncle, and her cousin Rose were able to time their arrival perfectly with the party from Matlock House, and they disembarked their carriages together as they arrived at Hanover Square to visit the Darcys. They had been invited to dine, but had come early, and nine merry revelers – two of whom were very nervous indeed – made their way into Lady Anne’s drawing room bearing baskets, boxes, and bags overflowing with holly and garlands and St. Nicholas Day gifts.
Lady Anne leapt to her feet as her family made their entrance in a noisy, affectionate cluster; she greeted them each warmly, saving Sir Edward and Elizabeth for last. “Oh Edward, Lizzy dearest, what a lovely gesture. It has been so many years since Christmas has felt like – well, like Christmas at all.”
Elizabeth could see Lady Anne’s eyes beginning to mist over with tears, and she impulsively came forward and wrapped her arms around her mother’s neck. “Happy Christmas, Mamma,” she whispered, pressing her eyes shut to avoid shedding tears of her own.
Jane and Mary approached, their smiles shy but sincere; each of them latched on to one of Elizabeth’s arms as the whole family made their way into the drawing room. Elizabeth was pleased that they had sought her out, but once she was seated near them, she found herself suddenly uneasy. What was she to say? After so long a separation, and such a history as they shared, how could she possibly begin to converse comfortably with them?
Fortunately, Rose could always be relied upon for lively conversation, and after a few mundane remarks about the weather, Elizabeth was relieved when her cousin came to join them. “La! How dull you all are, sitting about when there is holly to be hung! Come, Lizzy - Cousin Jane, Cousin Mary, I must have you all help me. I remember hanging holly at Pemberley when I was a little girl, it was such fun!”
“Why not?” Elizabeth seized eagerly on the idea. After all, she, her cousin and her uncle had worked diligently putting together all the trappings of Christmas; but of course this was the logical conclusion. Perhaps if she tried to simply act naturally, the rest would come.
She and her sisters followed Rose, laughing shyly together as they began the business of hanging boughs of holly. It was still a few days before Christmas Eve, and it felt a little silly, especially as it had been so long since Elizabeth had felt such a festive impulse, but the encouragement they received from the rest of the family served both to put her at ease, and to provide a means through which she could converse with her sisters without fearing any awkwardness as they went about their activity.
Elizabeth was surprised to notice the dynamic that existed between her two sisters. Before – when she had lived at Pemberley – Mary had always been the more serious sister, even at a young age, and though she certainly still was, Jane’s shy temper had grown into such a sorrowful, sedate sort of reticence that Mary seemed far livelier. It was an adaptation likely borne out of necessity, but the result was quite pleasing. To Elizabeth’s complete astonishment, it was Mary who asked if they had included a kissing bough in all of their greenery.
“Unlike you and I,” Jane said with a mournful look, “Mary is quite eager to be fallen in love with this Season.”
“I am sure I should not object to it either,” Rose giggled.
“I know Jane has her reasons, but surely you are not so opposed to our Uncle’s scheme for us, Lizzy,” Mary chided, betraying an impish smile.
“I am trying to remain open-minded,” Elizabeth admitted, unwittingly casting a nervous glance in Richard’s direction. “At least – I have decided that I ought to be open-minded, but in truth I have been given little opportunity to put my resolution into practice yet.”
“I am sure there shall be time for all that,” Jane said, her voice and countenance betraying her discomfort with the subject. It was no secret she still pined for her lost love, and Elizabeth hoped that they might soon have the chance to speak privately about it.
“Well, the time for mistletoe is now,” Rose declared, tickling Elizabeth’s nose with a sprig of rosemary before she resumed h
er rummaging through the basket of evergreens. “By the by… where is cousin William tonight?”
“Oh,” Jane said sadly, “he made other plans, before he knew you were all to come to us tonight. He is dining with an old friend – Miss Bingley’s brother, in fact. He had not expected to meet with you all before Christmas.”
Elizabeth had made a conscious effort not to comment on William’s absence, but was relieved that Rose had done so, as she had felt some little curiosity as to his whereabouts. And yet, it was a relief; Elizabeth had feared that her attempts to converse with her mother and sisters might be strained if he was constantly observing her, holding her in contempt as he had long been disposed to do.
“Well, I am glad you are both here,” she told her sisters. “I have brought some little gifts for you both.” Reaching into one of the baskets she had brought, Elizabeth produced two small, simply wrapped gifts. Mary opened hers first – it was a book about Hertford Castle. “You always did like my reading recommendations, particularly those that were suggestions from Aunt Olivia, and they were not all so very racy, you know. This was the first book she ever gave me. Hertford Castle predates the Norman conquest, and has a fantastically rich history – I thought you might enjoy it, as it is in our native county.”
Mary opened the book reverently, running her hands over one of the illustrations. “It is lovely, Lizzy. Oh, thank you, Sister. I shall treasure it.”
To Jane Elizabeth presented a gift she was rather nervous about; she feared it may be perceived as ironic, rather than earnest. It was a stationery set with lovely paper tinted lilac and scented the same. Jane looked into Elizabeth’s eyes as she opened it, her countenance offering Elizabeth some assurance that the gift had been taken as it was meant. “This is beautiful, Lizzy,” Jane whispered. “We shall be together many months yet, but whenever we are not you may depend on having a letter from me.”
Elizabeth rested her hand on Jane’s. “That is precisely what I would wish.”
Mary smirked at them. “My goodness, you make me feel quite silly, Lizzy. I have only gotten you both some new sheet music.”
“Well, I hope it is something that can be played as a duet,” Elizabeth chided her sister. “I have not exaggerated in my letters – I play very ill indeed! I shall have to rely on Jane to save me, if I am called upon to perform, else I shall surely disgrace myself.”
“Oh, no, Lizzy. I am sure you play very well – Aunt Olivia was always boasting of your abilities,” Mary said.
“Which was hardly a favor!” Elizabeth managed a laugh, despite the grief she still bore for her late aunt. “Much better to understate my talents, lest people expect true excellence from me – they should be sorely disappointed.”
“I – I have not played in years,” Jane admitted softly, her eyes flirting between Elizabeth and Mary.
“I know,” Mary said.
Elizabeth regarded her sister with compassion. “But you have always played so well! Mamma has always said there was nothing that gave her more pleasure than hearing you play.”
“Yes, I know. George always said the same. I suppose that is why I stopped, after….”
“Oh dear,” Mary sighed. “I – I hoped you would like it. I did not mean to make you sad.”
“I think I should like to play again – a duet with Lizzy would be lovely.” She offered Elizabeth a warm smile.
Elizabeth reciprocated with a grin. “I shall never forget Aunt Catherine always pestering you about it.” Mimicking the great lady’s voice, she said, “You will never play really well if you do not practice more. If I had ever learnt, I would be a great proficient!”
Jane and Mary laughed, and for a moment Elizabeth felt perfectly at ease, as if they were all children again, laughing at their elders in secret. “Where is Aunt Catherine, anyhow? Is she coming for Christmas?”
“Of course she is,” Mary replied. “She has still not given up her efforts to make a match between Cousin Anne and William.”
Elizabeth laughed. “Really? My goodness, she has been on about it for so long – in truth, it has been many years since I have heard anything of Cousin Anne, and I suppose I had imagined she must have settled somewhere.”
“No,” Jane said. “She is still at Rosings. I kept up our yearly visits for a time, but she has grown rather like Sir Lewis, very disagreeable.”
“Poor William,” Elizabeth said, enjoying the gossip with her sisters that felt so natural.
“I shall be very sorry for him, if he does marry her,” Jane said defensively. “Whatever you may think of our brother, I hope you would not wish such a fate on him!”
“No, of course not. I am sorry Jane. It is only an amusing notion, that is all.”
“Perhaps he shall be spared such an awful fate – I suspect Rose has an interest in him,” Mary said, gracefully steering the subject in a more amicable direction. “She certainly asks about him a lot.”
“Rose is interested in all gentleman,” Elizabeth replied, casting a glance of bemusement in the direction of her young cousin, who even now sat speaking to Charlotte and the viscount with a look of fervent interest. “Poor Uncle is certainly going to have his hands full when she comes out next year.”
“It is a shame she cannot come out in my place,” Jane said. “I am quite dreading it. I have never wanted a London Season, but William says it is for the best.”
Elizabeth bit back a caustic remark and gave Jane’s hand a gentle squeeze. “It is some relief that we shall all be together, and not have to come out alone, as we might have done. Of course, I confess there is a certain allure to the notion of using Rose as a stand-in, and I am sure she would be most eager.”
“I shall keep that in mind,” Mary said with a gentle laugh, “if I encounter any unpleasant suitors. Apparently Uncle Henry has a list for each of us!”
Elizabeth caught herself once more glancing over at Richard, who was likewise staring in her direction – but no, he was looking at Jane. He caught her eye and smiled. She briefly wondered if his name was on her sisters’ lists as well, or only hers, before reminding herself of her promise to Charlotte and Aunt Phyllis. Their Season had not started just yet, and tonight was about her sisters and mother. Excusing herself from Jane and Mary, she went and sat at her mother’s side, earning her a look of loving approbation from her mother.
***
For once, Elizabeth felt her excitement equal to her younger cousin’s as the two prepared together to attend the Christmas supper at Darcy House. They had each ordered new gowns a few days earlier with their Aunt Phyllis, whose status as the Countess of Matlock ensured that the dresses were ready in time to wear this evening.
Rose had completed her toilette ahead of Elizabeth, as her thick brown hair was cut so short there was little to be done with it, while Elizabeth’s full chestnut curls were finally long enough to be arranged in an elegant chignon. When Elizabeth’s maid had finished tucking back the loose tendrils of hair with the delicate gold and ruby pins Lady Anne had gifted her on the last Christmas they were all together, Elizabeth wrapped a shawl around her shoulders and declared herself quite ready. She wrapped her arm around Rose, and the two beheld their reflection in the mirror together.
Elizabeth was more simply dressed in a flattering shade of green, and her deep emerald shawl with gold vines delicately embroidered on it completed the ensemble. Rose was more elaborately attired in red and silver, her gown more detailed with trim and lace than Elizabeth favored. Despite the disparity in their tastes, they both knew themselves, and one another, to be in very fine looks.
“We could be sisters, could we not?” Rose laughed as she stared at their reflections.
“Perhaps if my hair were still short, like yours. And we shall not be the same height for long, you know, for I am done growing, but you are not.”
Rose turned and smiled at Elizabeth. “At any rate, you are a thousand times prettier than me, I am sure.”
“If only I could believe it! I suppose it is a pity I shall no
t have you at my side for the Season, for you do bolster my confidence.”
Rose rolled her eyes. “You need only speak to Papa.”
Elizabeth shook her head, causing a few stray curls to break free near her face. “You know what the answer would be! At any rate,” she said, turning serious, “I hope you shall stay close to me tonight. I find I am still rather nervous. There was a moment, last time we were at Darcy House, I thought I had rather offended Jane, and with William there tonight, undoubtedly eager to provoke me as ever, I am sure I shall be in constant danger of giving offense!”
“I shall not leave you alone with him for a moment,” Rose said, squeezing Elizabeth’s hand. “I only wish you were not so very afraid – I adore you, Lizzy, and you ought not fear what anyone else thinks, because if they do not agree with me, they are simply wrong.”
Elizabeth smiled, taking heart from her cousin’s encouragement, and gave her an affectionate kiss on the cheek before hastening downstairs as she heard her uncle calling out that they were in some danger of arriving late.
They were the last to arrive at Darcy House, and Elizabeth was startled at what a large party they made. Her mother and sisters made a great deal of fuss over her, as well as Uncle Edward, Rose, and the twins, and they were subsequently greeted by her Uncle Henry and Aunt Phyllis, Charlotte, and the Dowager Countess; it felt a quarter-hour had passed just in exchanging pleasantries with those she had seen less than a week prior.