“You’ll be at the wedding then?” When she only nodded without turning around, he let himself out.
* * * *
Conner stirred in bed, his body complaining from a hard day’s work. The sun peeked through the slats in the blinds, reminding him he had to get up for the wedding. If he didn’t show up, Wagner would kill him. Besides, he was happy for Grace after what she went through with her ex. Although he’d given her little thought in the beginning, she had grown on him. Grace deserved a peaceful life with Scott, not the abusive life she led with her ex. No woman should ever be abused.
Jenna had delivered his suit the day before. She always had a handle on everything. If something happened on the Wagner Ranch, she knew about it. Well, he doubted she knew about the night he spent with Grace in his cabin. He’d rather Jenna show up at his door, but that was wishful thinking. Grace was too easy to dominate. Jenna would be a challenge. She was a feisty one that he’d love to break.
An hour later he was showered, shaved, and dressed. He felt stiff in the tailored suit and couldn’t wait to get his casual clothes back on. Conner had lived life as a cowboy since before he could remember. Before he left home, he’d put in a man’s day, keeping things running while his father was off trolling the bars, fall-down drunk. Although he expected to take over the family business when he came of age, when the time came, all he wanted to do was get as far away from the memories as possible. The daily beatings by leather belt, the violent rampages, and the verbal assaults—all focused on Conner and his mother. Thank God he had no younger siblings. He’d much rather work another man’s farm, a good man’s, like Wagner’s.
Conner looked at his reflection in the mirror above his dresser. He’d trimmed his goatee and slicked his short, dark hair back. Why the fuck did he have to look like his bastard father? He scowled and grabbed his jacket off the end of the bed. All the ranch hands were given the day off to attend the wedding, but there were still a couple orders that Conner needed to speak with Mr. Wagner about. He wouldn’t mind slipping away from the wedding early to handle the shipments. It would be an excuse to get away from the crowd.
He went around to the back door of the main house, hoping to find Wagner in his small office near the back entrance. The rear yard was in full chaos with hired caterers, florists, and wedding planners running around like headless chickens. He rolled his eyes and entered through the screen door unnoticed. Before he knocked on the partially closed office door, he heard voices. He recognized Jenna’s voice, and her tone wasn’t casual, so he stopped and listened.
“Whatever you choose, I’ll support you, darlin’.” Mr. Wagner’s calm baritone was easily recognizable. It had soothed the beast within Conner too many times to count. “If you want to come clean, you won’t have to worry about them cowboys. If they value their jobs, they’ll treat my best lady with respect.”
“Thank you. I think I’ll hold off for now though. It’s better if they think I like women. I’ve just been feeling conflicted lately.”
“What in heaven’s name has been bothering you?”
“I don’t know. I guess the wedding got me thinking about the future. My future. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to love a man. I don’t think I can trust again.”
“Sweet Jenna, you’re young with your whole life ahead of you. Any man that you choose will be the luckiest cowboy in the country.” There was a pause. Probably Wagner pulling her close as he often did. “Darlin’, not every man is a monster. I hope I’ve shown you that over the years.”
Jenna sniffled. “I love you,” she said. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
“Dry those tears, darlin’. You look prettier than a summer rose.” He heard a chair shift on the hardwood, so backed away from the door. “One day I’ll be throwing a wedding for you. Mark my words.”
Footsteps grew closer, so he rushed to the screen door and pretended to enter as Jenna left the office. She glanced in his direction briefly, her blue eyes watery and vulnerable. Before he could rake his gaze down her body, she bolted in the other direction without a word. Never show your weakness. Jenna was more like him than he cared to admit.
She was pretty—fucking hot was more like it. She wore a navy blue satin gown that highlighted her eyes. Her pale blonde hair was loose down her back and shoulders, reaching the curve of her ass. He’d never seen her hair down. It was always functional, in a ponytail or braid. Half the time he truly did see her as one of the guys. Not anymore. He thought about what Mr. Wagner had just said, which pulled a rare smile to his lips.
Rather than talk with his boss as originally planned, he followed Jenna down the hallway to the front of the house. She escaped into the kitchen, now teeming with life. Pete, round and jovial, and a small crew of chefs were preparing food for the evening meal. Pots were boiling over, steam rising to the roof where drying herbs and pots hung from the rafters. It was noisier than a cattle roundup. He stood taller than everyone and tried to spy Jenna over the crowd. The patio doors off the kitchen opened and closed. He only caught a brief glimpse of blue satin before she disappeared. Shit, she was gone. He wouldn’t know what to say to her if he caught her anyway. Just seeing the feisty cowgirl in a vulnerable state brought out his dominant side and whet his sexual appetite.
Conner could envision her tied naked to his bed. Although he’d never fantasized about her much in the past, that all changed now that he knew her secret. Jenna was no lesbian, only hiding behind the lie to keep the cowboys from drooling all over her. Smart move, but there was more to it than that. Mr. Wagner said something about a man—probably a drunken asshole like his father.
* * * *
Trevor just pulled up in his pickup truck when he saw Jenna run from the kitchen doors toward the barn. Her blonde hair flowed loose behind her in a soft wave, highlighted by the sun. He had to blink a few times before he believed it was really her. The long, tight dress barely contained her full breasts. He parked the truck, slamming the door behind him as he went in pursuit. He wasn’t sure why he kept trying to start something with a woman that would never want anything to do with him.
“Jenna!” he called out after she entered the barn.
She was nearly to the wooden ladder that led to her loft when she turned around. “What is it, foreman? Shouldn’t you be dressed proper by now?”
“I needed to see what color you were wearing. You’re the maid of honor, and I’m the best man—we should match.”
She scowled and crossed her arms over her chest, plumping her breasts further. He couldn’t look away even though he knew she’d hide him for staring at her cleavage. “I don’t think you’d look good in blue satin.”
“I just need my tie or shirt to match, that’s all.” Trevor licked his lips, his body lighting up at the sight of the feisty blonde.
She turned, took a few steps, and started to climb the ladder. “Just because we’re both in the wedding party, doesn’t mean anything. You won’t be getting lucky—not even close. Hell would have to freeze over first.” A couple more steps up. “Go get dressed and stop looking at my ass.”
He ignored the last part of her request and watched her until she disappeared into her apartment, giving him the middle finger before she slammed the door shut.
“She’s wicked.” Conner’s voice came from the entrance of the barn. He cleaned up well, all suited up and ready to go. Trevor better follow Jenna’s advice and get washed up himself.
“You’re telling me. A wolf in sheep’s clothing, if ever I saw one.”
“Actually, you’re more right than you realize,” Conner said as he stroked his neatly trimmed goatee. “I shouldn’t say anything, but—”
“What?”
Conner motioned for him to follow with a slight wave of his hand. Once out of the barn and back at Trevor’s pickup truck, Conner leaned in close and whispered, “She’s not gay.”
Trevor could only frown, not sure what game he was playing. “What are you talking about?”
“Jen
na’s not a lesbian. It’s all a ruse. I overheard her talking with Wagner this morning. They’re both in on it. She pretends to hate men. That way they don’t bother her at work. Makes sense, right?”
He stood in quiet contemplation. The past six years played back through his head like an old movie. He tried to remember everything they’d been through together. His pulse quickened, and his muscles tensed. All these years he’d held nothing back. She probably thought he was a womanizer, maybe he had been. She knew all about his women, his sexual forays, his nasty habits. Knowing that she was straight changed everything in a single second. Their intimacy the other night wasn’t one-sided like he believed. The lust and desire dancing in her eyes wasn’t his imagination. Un-fucking-believable! The hottest chick he’d ever encountered was available, ready to be wooed—by him.
Trevor had to admit that his first thought was how quickly he could convince her to get naked and on her back. Not many women refused him. He just hadn’t tried very hard where Jenna was concerned thanks to her brilliant little white lie. But then again, this was Jenna he was talking about, not some random tail. Why did Conner have to spring this on him now? His mind would be elsewhere the whole wedding.
“Who else knows?”
“Just you and me. I think it’s best to keep it that way. Wagner would have our balls if he found out we spread word around the ranch.” Conner tilted his head from side to side, attempting to loosen his collar. The man looked ready to rip the suit right off his body.
“Yeah.” His mind wouldn’t stop reeling. “If it’s true, I call dibs.”
“Fuck you. You can have her when I’m through.”
“What makes you think she’ll want you, Conner? She knows all about the real you.”
“We’ll see.” He took in a deep breath and ran a hand through his dark hair. “It’s the loud, mouthy ones that have a secret submissive side.”
Trevor laughed, slapping the closed bed of the truck. “You’re joking, right? If Jenna agrees to play some kinky game with you, I’ll hand over next week’s paycheck.”
“A woman like that needs a real man, not a rodeo clown.” He walked off toward the house after his cheap shot. He turned back, continuing to put distance between them. “If you think she’ll fuck you and three of your boys like Grace did, you’re the one who’s full of shit.”
Trevor wanted to argue, wanted to make a wager, but his mind was still processing the news. He couldn’t tell Jenna he knew the truth, or she’d deny it and it would create an uncomfortable tension between them. They worked side by side most days, so he didn’t want to put his job at risk. The Wagner Ranch was not only his place of employment, but also his home—his heart. Before he arrived at the front gates, his life had been a forfeit. He wouldn’t risk his new existence, not even for a decadent treat like Jenna.
Chapter Five
The crowd had thinned after the reception. Jenna assisted Grace to her room to help her prepare for her honeymoon, holding up the layers of silk and taffeta in her arms.
“You excited?” Jenna unzipped the back of her heavy white gown.
“It’s like a dream,” she said. “I feel like I’m living the fairy tale.” Grace covered her bare breasts once the material fell heavily around her feet. Jenna had to continually remind herself that everyone thought she was gay. She usually played the part, even with Grace—an extra-long look, or intimate touch here and there. Today, she couldn’t even muster up the energy to fulfill her role. She felt bogged down, soul deep, searching for answers she’d never find. It was tough watching people you loved move on to better things while you stayed in the same place in time, never going forward because of a past you couldn’t let go.
“You deserve it after what you went through with that asshole.” Grace’s ex, Ken, may be dead and buried, but he didn’t deserve sympathy. Jenna couldn’t stand men that felt they could control a woman, ruin a life to enhance their own. She’d been a victim herself and never stood by idly to watch a fellow female abused.
“I guess everything happens for a reason. I wouldn’t have met Scott if it weren’t for the wife swap, and there wouldn’t be a wife swap if Ken were a good man.” Grace sighed as she slipped on a cream-colored, simple dress. “Everything’s connected if you think about it.”
Jenna wondered what on earth could be positive about what she had to experience as a young woman at the hands of her own blood.
She finished helping out the woman she considered her closest friend. Grace was a fragile thing, and Jenna was glad she ended up with a stable man like Scott, so much like his father. He wasn’t Jenna’s type though. Like Trevor continually preached to the guys—Scott was too soft. Jenna would require a real man, a cowboy not afraid to get his hands dirty.
After helping her sort through her travelling bags, she left Grace in the attention of numerous guests that were getting ready to depart and slid out the side door into the night.
Grace and Scott were now a married couple and would soon be off to the airport by limousine to catch a plane for their honeymoon. Jenna wasn’t a sentimental woman, but the ceremony had tugged at her heartstrings. She’d seen Grace before Scott came into her life, so lost and confused. Then she witnessed the transformation as they fell in love with each other. She tried to imagine herself in a white gown, standing at the altar with a man that looked at her with love burning in his eyes.
She shook her head, angry for her wayward thoughts. There wouldn’t be a white dress for her because she wasn’t pure—she’d been defiled in the worst way imaginable. What kind of man would want a woman who had been raped? It was disgusting, vile, and deviant. If she couldn’t face the past, how could she ever open up to a lover? Better to live in denial and play her starring role that would keep her safe from men. She hugged herself as she watched the guests depart, car after car starting up and heading down the long, dark road leaving the property. There was a chill in the night air, goose bumps creeping up her bare arms. Her nipples pebbled from the cold, reminding her of her shame. If she weren’t so damn buxom, the bastard may have been able to resist her. Like her mother had said, she was a she-devil, a tease, a home-wrecker. Tears pricked at the backs of her eyes. She hated that her parents could still affect her even now. Why couldn’t she move on?
She didn’t want to dwell on the past. Wagner offered her a chance at a new life, and she gladly accepted. But forgetting the pain that cut her soul deep wasn’t as easy as she had hoped. If she could physically remove the memories, she’d carve them out of her body with a rusty blade.
“Cold night to be out here without a sweater.” She spun around, still hugging herself. Trevor leaned against one of the oak trees lining the long driveway. He wore his black suit, the one that had captured her attention all evening. The man looked edible in formal wear. He’d lost the jacket and tie somewhere along the way, now in just his pants and a partially opened shirt that matched her dress. Her connection to him from the other night came back after a single glance at his face. Trevor emitted a calm energy. He was a laid-back cowboy, not easy to rile.
“I was just—”
“Thinking?”
“I guess. The wedding’s over now. Life will go back to normal.”
He slowly exhaled, rubbing behind his neck. It had been a long day, and she felt the strain herself. “I’ll be glad. It’s been crazy the past week.”
Back to normal. She couldn’t help but see the future as bleak, loveless, pointless. After a good night’s sleep, she’d strengthen her emotional barriers and forget about the vulnerability threatening to undo her tonight. She’d focus on work and making Wagner proud.
She straightened her back and concentrated on maintaining her composure. “I’ll have to ask around about getting some new ranch hands. In the meantime I’ll help out with the branding.”
“Good. We’ll get a hell of a lot more done without those clowns.”
“You can go back to parking the trucks at the front now.” She began to walk away from him, too tempted t
o let it all go. “I’ll be busy as hell tomorrow helping Pete with the cleanup, but after that I’ll help out with the cattle.”
“You’re the best, darlin’.”
She shook her head in annoyance, finding it difficult to be hostile when she was drained of emotion. “Don’t darlin’ me, cowboy.”
As she put distance between them, she heard his quick footfalls behind her. She turned sharply. Trevor put up his hands and stopped dead. “Those yellowbellies may still be lurking around. I should escort you back to your room.”
“Escort me?” She chuckled. “Since when did I need your help, Mansfield? Save the dramatics for your buckle bunnies.”
Jenna began walking again, Trevor at her side like a pain in the ass. “You’re a woman.”
“And—”
“You need a man to take care of you.”
She ground her molars together. There was a fine line between being gallant and being an asshole, and Trevor just crossed it. Even being nearly a foot shorter, she pushed him in the chest with force. “Do I look like I need a man? Do I look like a helpless woman?” The satin of her gown caught her eye as the spotlights shimmered off the surface. “Okay, I look like one tonight, but once this dress comes off, you’ll remember who I really am.”
“Who might that be?”
“A cold, hard bitch that you’d be wise not to mess with. I don’t need, nor do I want, a man, and you know it.” He just stood staring down at her. She was making a fool of herself, so took a cleansing breath and slowed her breathing. “Forget it. I’ll see you in the morning, bright and early.”
Once she reached the barn, Trevor was still rooted in place where she’d left him. They exchanged a long glance before she escaped into the dark interior of the barn.
* * * *
Trevor had to bite his tongue. He wanted to shout out that he knew who she really was. He wanted to shut her up with a mind-numbing kiss, feel her soft body pressed against his. Her bravado was partially an act. He knew that now. It took all his resolve to keep his newfound knowledge locked within. How long could he keep this secret? Mr. Wagner knew. Conner knew. Would Conner make his move before him? Did the guy really believe he could dominate that wild filly?
Taming Jenna [Sequel to Saving Grace] (Siren Publishing Ménage Amour) Page 4