****
Cassie greets me with open arms, holding me like I wish Aidan would. I turn to water in her embrace. She doesn’t ask questions. She just hugs me and lets me cry.
I’ve got to believe he doesn’t want this. When I go back tomorrow, he’s gonna have some explaining to do. I’m not going to put up with this, but right now, I can’t bear to be near him.
“It’s all fucked, Cassie. This whole situation … and Aidan …”
“Aidan what?” she asks, her forehead creasing with delicate lines.
“He came home drunk, and in so many words told me to leave.”
“What the fuck is his problem? Where’s your phone? I’m ringing him.”
Cassie on the warpath. Oh, no. There’s no way she can talk to him. This situation is volatile enough as it is.
“No, you’re not. He’s dead to the world, anyway. He needs to sleep it off.”
“Why did he tell you to leave?”
“He thinks it’s the only way to protect me.”
“That fucking sorry son-of-a-bitch. Haven’t you already been through enough? I can’t believe he’s pulled this shit.” Cassie runs both hands through her tangled bed-hair.
“He’s obviously not coping. This mess isn’t his fault, Cassie.”
“Dammit if it isn’t. You don’t need this, Eevie. Maybe you should leave for good.” As much as her words sting, I know there’s no way I could ever leave him, but I’m not in the mood for an argument. It’s only going to upset me more, and my words would fall on deaf ears.
“That’s not gonna fix anything. I’m not leaving him Cassie. I just need space … and sleep. I’m exhausted. Can I crash in your spare room?”
She breathes out heavily, her shoulders slumping. “Yeah, come on.”
I curl under the covers, and Cassie tucks me in like a mother hen.
“Are you alright?”
“I’m fine,” I lie. “I just need sleep.”
“I’ll kick his arse if you want me to,” she says, tucking my hair behind my ear. “He doesn’t scare me.”
“Good night, Cassie.” I shut her down, not wanting to talk about it anymore. I’m lucky to have a friend so ready to do battle for me, but not with Aidan. When he’s ready to talk, that’ll be my argument to have.
“Night,” she says squeezing me in a smothering hug.
After she closes the door, I check my phone.
Nothing from Aidan.
The battery in my phone then goes dead.
Tears slip down my cheeks as his words from earlier sink in. Just go … How could he be so cruel? Doesn’t he love me? I would do anything for him. Anything for us. Maybe it’s just not enough.
I hide my head amongst the pillows to muffle the sounds of my pain. I cry like never before, so hard it hurts to breathe. After a while, I’m so worked up I can’t stop. Just another thing I have no control over. My body aches, my head is heavy, and my heart could possibly rip in two.
CHAPTER TWELVE
* AIDAN *
My head. Oh, my fucking God, my head. I don’t ever remember having a hangover like this. I never drink like that because I don’t want to acknowledge the alcoholic that’s in my blood. My father’s blood. I’d worked so hard to be the opposite of him, yet I went out and got royally shitfaced. Nice one, Aidan. Way to deal with this shit.
My brain pulses hard against my skull as if it’s trying to escape. Bright light drowns the room, stabbing at my eyelids. I roll over to nuzzle with Eevie. The one thing in my life that is right.
I’ve been a prick. I should have told her I’d be late, but I got too caught up with those fucking shots. I just can’t back down from a challenge.
My arm meets only a tangle of sheets. I force an eye open to find her side of the bed bare. I have no idea what time it is. She’s probably already up. I sit up and rub my eyes, trying to ignore the walls closing in on me. I think I’m still drunk.
“Hey, babe?” I call out, each word pounding in my head. No answer, but the door is shut. She probably didn’t wanna wake me.
I stumble over to the bathroom and take a piss. I’m half fucking undressed. A chuckle escapes my throat. I must’ve been a mess. I guarantee Eevie won’t be my biggest fan today, and she has every right to be pissed. I’d better make it up to her. She can’t resist my big breakfasts, with loads of everything, and after not having anything to eat last night I need some carbs or something to make me feel human. I just hope I can keep food down.
I splash cold water on my face, bloodshot eyes peering back at me when I glance in the mirror. I rest my hands on the vanity, and take in a deep breath. The vanity, which is usually overrun with Eevie’s things, is relatively tidy. She must have finally started using the drawers. Not that I ever said anything about the mess; it’s just part and parcel of having her live with me.
When I walk back into the bedroom, I spot a piece of folded paper with my name on it. I snatch the note from the bed.
When you wake up with the hangover from hell,
have a good think about what you said to me,
and if me leaving is really going to solve this mess.
Fuck. Motherfucking fuck. What have I done? What in the name of fuck did I say to her?
I swing the bedroom door open, calling out her name. I hope this is a joke. A fucking mean joke, but it’s better than the alternative. My broken voice echoes back at me, taunting me.
She’s gone.
I scramble around looking for my phone, and after a few frantic minutes, find it under the bed next to my crumpled jeans. I’d missed a call from her at ten o’clock, and she’d sent two texts.
9.02pm: Are you still coming home for dinner?
10:17pm: I don’t care if you’re late, baby.
Just let me know u r okay xox
I am such a dick. I press redial. It doesn’t even ring. It goes straight to voicemail. Fuck, I’ve really done it. She doesn’t wanna speak to me. Her sweet voice comes across on her voicemail message, like a harpoon through my chest.
“Eevie, baby. I’m sorry about last night. Please ring me back.”
I pace around my bedroom wondering what on earth I did. What I said to make her leave. I reread the note. Have a good think about what you said to me, and if me leaving is really going to solve this mess. Did I ask her to leave? Why the fuck would I do that?
I throw on my jeans and boots, and finally find my keys on the floor inside the front door. If she won’t answer the phone I have to find her. I can’t let her go.
I don’t even know where I’m heading, but I start making calls. Crystal first. She hadn’t spoken to Eevie all week. I call her brother, Chris. He was keen to lock in a weekend for the ride I promised to take him on, but eventually I got out of him that he hadn’t seen her.
Where else would she go? Cassie’s? Surely that’s where she is. But I don’t have her number. Or even know her last name. I think I remember Eevie talking about her house in O’Connor, not far from the city, but I have no clue where.
When I get this Ryan bloke’s phone number from Eevie, I’m gonna call him and sort this shit out. I’m not going down without a fight. My prick of a father is gonna find out that no one fucks with me, or the woman I love. I’ll meet with him, alright. Maybe I’ll bash in his skull. He won’t be able to hurt anyone when he’s dead.
Right now, I need to find my girl.
After driving up and down the streets for what feels like hours, trying Eevie’s number more times than I care to count, my heart thumps wildly when I find her car parked in a driveway in front of a cream brick house. The engine of my Ute roars as I pull in behind it.
My feet can barely keep up as I run, nearly knocking myself flat on my back as I skid on the loose rocks. I successfully negotiate around the terracotta pots filled with flowers, which are littered haphazardly around the porch.
“Eevie! You here?” I shout and pound my fist on the black timber door.
An achingly slow minute later the latch turns, and a no
t-too-impressed Cassie stands across the doorway in her pink, flannel pyjamas, arms folded across her chest. Even though she’s quite short, right now she’s towering over me. She steps closer. Her jaw is tense, and her cold brown eyes bore into me.
I am not welcome here.
I take a step back, and Cassie stands out on the front porch and closes the door gently behind her. She puts her hands on her hips and eyes me up and down, like she’s sizing up how to best cut me to pieces. “You’ve got some explaining to do. Fucking start talking.”
She’s here. Thank God she’s here. I bend over and put my hands on my knees, and breathe out. Air stings my lungs as I take it back in.
“I don’t know what I said to her … but I need to see her.” My heart pounds violently in my chest, echoing in my ears.
“I don’t think that’s a good idea.” As much as her words hurt, I’m glad Eevie has Cassie for a friend, to be her protector. Even if right now it’s from me. She’s done more than I have to save her from him, but that’s all about to change.
“Please, Cassie,” I beg. “I’ve made a huge mistake. I went out and drank enough to sink a ship. I never drink like that. I don’t because I don’t want to be like him. I fucked up. Big time. Whatever I said to her,” I shake my head, “I would never ask her to leave. She’s my world.”
Her arms move protectively across her puffed-up chest. “I’ve never seen her like this, Aidan. Even after the shit with Dean. After I put her to bed, do you know what I heard? For hours all I heard was her sobbing. She tried to make out to me she was okay, but once I closed that door she was a fucking mess. If I didn’t know better, I’d think you’d broken her.”
I’ve broken her. Fucking perfect. She probably wants nothing more to do with me. Without warning, a tear slips down my cheek. I never cry. I can’t even remember the last time I did. No wait, I do. In the hospital. Eevie’s limp body lying there with tubes down her throat, and barely a pulse as I held her cold hand in mine. The moment I thought I would break. And now I could lose her.
“I would never in my right mind ask her to leave. I just wanna save her from all this. I can’t see her get hurt again, and deep down, for whatever fucked-up reason, I must’ve thought this was the way. It’s not.”
“This shit’s serious, Aidan. Eevie needs you more than ever, and your father has the ability to fucking ruin her. If you love her as much as I think you do, then show her. Show her you’re not backing down. You need to fight for her, Aidan, because she’s done nothing but fight for you.”
Cassie’s right. Eevie is more selfless than any person I’ve ever met. And this time, when she needs me the most, I’m off drowning my sorrows and saying shit, enough to make her pack up and leave in the middle of the night.
The front door creaks as it swings open. Eevie stands in the doorway, and when our eyes meet, she freezes. She looks like shit: tear-stained cheeks, a red nose, and her hair looks like she’s been in bed for a week. She looks defeated. And I did that to her. Fuck. I have never felt so low. How could I have done this?
“What are you doin’ here?” she snaps, and then her mouth forms a firm line. She has every right to speak to me in that tone. I deserve whatever is coming my way.
“We need to talk,” I mutter softly. “I’m sorry … I fucked up.”
“Do you wanna talk to him, Eevie? ‘Cause you don’t have to if you don’t want to,” Cassie interrupts.
“No, Cassie. We need to talk,” she mutters in a croaky voice.
Not being able to hold myself back, I move over to her and kneel at her feet. This moment is worthy of grovelling. I wrap my arms around her small waist, and hold her as tight as I can, pressing my face into her stomach.
“I’ll leave you to it, then.” Cassie walks around us, but I can feel her glaring a giant hole in the back of my head. The door slams shut. I bet Cassie could throw a good punch. I’m probably lucky that so far she hasn’t taken a swing. I glance up at Eevie.
“Get up,” she says sternly. I stand up, but don’t dare take my arms from around her waist. I bow my head, not looking away from her bloodshot blue-green eyes. “Talk.”
Where do I start?
I breathe out loudly. “There’s a reason I don’t drink … well, not more than a couple of beers, and never the extreme amount I had last night. You know why. I never wanna be like him.” I rake my hand through my hair, and then rub at the back of my neck. “All this shit just became too much, and I was drowning. My dad coming out of hiding after all this time, and the way he arranged to get the photos and the tape. He was as good as dead to me, Eevie. I thought I’d never speak to, or see him again. My whole world is being ripped out from under me and I couldn’t see a way to stop it. And you, Eevie. You are my everything, and the one person I can’t bear to see hurt.”
Eevie moves her hands to my chest, and I hold her tighter as she tries to push me away. “Why didn’t you talk to me?” she says, in a harsh enough tone to make me wince. A solitary tear runs down her flushed cheek. “Don’t you think I’m scared? I’m fucking petrified, Aidan. Do you really think telling me to leave was the answer?” Fuck. How could I do that to her?
“I’m disgusted with myself. I’m so sorry, baby. It’s no excuse, but after a few too many rounds of shots I can’t remember a thing. The night was swallowed by a black hole. I don’t even know how the hell I got home. Please tell me what I said because I promise you, I never want you to leave.”
“You said you were no good for me, and me leaving was the only way to protect me. You told me to go.” Tears well in her eyes. Fuck. She quickly glances away and takes in a shuddery breath. “Maybe you’re right. This might just be the only way. He’s dangerous. So are the people that are after him.”
Is she trying to hurt me? Rip my heart open? There’s no way this is the only way. She must know that.
“Baby, you shouldn’t have listened to me. I was drunk.”
“I’ve never seen you drunk, Aidan, so forgive me if I listened to you. I tend to take you at your word.”
Ouch. “You’re right, I’m sorry. I’ll do whatever it takes to make it up to you. I shouldn’t have put you through this.”
Silence.
“I can’t back down from this, Aidan. I need that video. I can’t see you get hurt, but right now all I can think about is how you’ve hurt me. Don’t you see how hard this is? Am I gonna have to do this shit alone?”
“You’re not doin’ it alone,” I say sternly. No way in hell. I kiss her softly, and squeeze her body tight, our kiss becoming more urgent with each passing second. I release from her soft lips, and gaze into her eyes.
“Did you think I’d left for good?” she asks, her lips pressed tight together.
“When I woke up and you were gone, and you didn’t answer your phone … I thought maybe you had.”
“And how did that make you feel?”
Fuck, my girl is gonna make a fantastic shrink.
“It hurt,” I admit. “It fucking cut me to pieces.”
“So did your words, Aidan. You were pretty clear that you wanted me gone. I wasn’t gonna leave you. I love you too damn much, but after what you said … I couldn’t sleep next to you. And you smelt like a fucking brewery. I needed space.”
I sniff at my shirt. I fucking stink. “Come home. I promise I’ve got my shit together. I’ll take a long shower. We’ll talk as much as you wanna talk. We’re gonna fight this thing to the end. It’s you and me. I can’t do this any other way. Not without you.”
“When your world crumbles, Aidan, so does mine.” She pauses. “Don’t ever do something like this again, or I swear to you, on my Nana’s grave, I will have your balls on toast, with the spiciest chilli sauce I can get my hands on.” She smiles, wearily, and a nervous chuckle escapes me.
“Never.” I will never hurt her like this again. “I love you, Eevie.” I don’t say it to her every day—although I probably should—but when I say it, I mean it. And she knows that. I’m not that guy who utters it at t
he end of every phone call, or casually over a meal. Those words mean more to me than that, and so does Eevie.
“I love you,” she replies, her smile growing wider. “Let’s go home.”
****
After driving home like a lust-fuelled maniac, I pace the floor of the kitchen waiting for Eevie. The front door slams open, and she rushes into the room. I practically rip her clothes off as she grapples with my belt. Her hair is as wild as her ragged breath, her chest fighting for air as her clothes land on the floor.
I lift Eevie onto the kitchen counter, and tear my shirt off. She finally tugs my belt loose, and I barely get my jeans down before I drive deep inside her. I don’t hold back, meeting her hips thrust for thrust. Her back arches as she cries out in ecstasy. I make love to her fiercely, all the while cursing myself for being such a stupid fuck. I could never lose this. This love. The love of my goddamned life.
When Eevie’s moans turn into loud cries of pleasure, I can’t hold back my desperate need to devour her, to taste the sweetness of her mouth. I’m sure her bottom lip will be bruised, but I’m a hungry man. Salty tears rain down her face, as she wraps her legs tight around me. I hold her body in a vice-grip with my arms as I come hard inside her. She screams, and I hope the fuck I haven’t broken her rib.
“I’m fuckin’ sorry … I love you so much,” I say, gasping for air. I feel like the lowest of the low for what I did. My grovelling is in no way over.
I wipe the tears from her face, and help her down from the counter. She weaves her arms around my back and holds on tight, looking up into my eyes. “I love you. Always. We’ll get through this.” She smiles, and moves her hard nipples against my chest, the sheen of sweat making our skin glide. Her hands wander down to my arse cheeks and she digs her nails in, pulling me against her. My cock decides, then and there, that one bout of make-up sex is not enough: I have to her have again, and from the wanting in Eevie’s eyes, she needs this too.
Spike (Spark Series #2) Page 13