Hoping Xavier’s sat on the bed but to my disappointment, he’s nowhere to be seen. I head back across the hallway hoping to find him in his room, which he is. I find him packing the last of his belongings. I promised myself I wouldn’t get upset, I don’t want to come across as clingy but God, I don’t want him to leave. “Don't get upset Isabelle, we’ll skype every day and I’ll be back in a few months.” I can’t keep it hidden any longer, I need to give him the final piece of my heart. I take a deep breath before letting the words tumble from my mouth, “I love you.” Xavier's mouth drops open in surprise, but his expression quickly changes. His lips pull up into a smirk, “I love you too.” My heart skips a beat. I can’t say I didn't have an inkling because I did but hearing the words said out loud solidifies things. Xavier's hand smoothes over my bump, as though he saying goodbye to my unborn child. “The baby kicked, she kicked,” Xavier streak. His eyes shine with happiness, even though a tear slides down his cheek. “I know,” I smile. Beyond happy with his reaction. For the last few weeks, Xavier has slipped into a fatherly role. He's always singing his childhood song against my bump. Whatever I’ve needed Xavier’s been at my beck and call. I didn’t believe for one second I was going to survive Josh’s death. I was in my own personal hell, but Xavier's been amazing. He’s helped me to realize moving on, doesn’t mean I’m disrespecting Josh’s memory. He's helped me to believe it’s okay to love after death. He taught me to how to laugh again and how to let go of the grief. With one last kiss, Xavier exits the room.
I enter the kitchen only to find Nikki in tears sat on Caleb's lap. Kyle and James are making a batch of pancakes, the room is too quiet. Xavier isn't anywhere to be seen. Laying my head on the table willing the tears to subside. I will not lose it, I make a promise to myself not to show any emotion until Xavier's on the plane. However, I don't think it's going to be a realistic promise to keep. Why has he got to leave? How stupid have I been, I knew he was only here for a short amount of time, but I still fell in love. I'm pulled out of my thoughts when a pair of hands slides around my waist. I lean into Xavier's chest and inhale his perfect manly scent. The room is silent, everyone lost in their own thoughts. Kyle places a stack of pancakes in front of me, indicating for me to tuck in but I'm not sure I can stomach anything. Half an hour later everyone is ready to head to the airport. Nikki is taking her car, Caleb is accompanying her. While everyone else, myself included climbs into Kyle's rust bucket. James and Kyle are quietly chatting in the front of the car while Xavier and I are silent in the back. Xavier hasn't said two words since the baby kicked earlier. Xavier pulls me closer to his side and proceeds to bury his head in my hair. "I'm going to miss you," his voice cracks with emotion. "I'm going to miss you too," I cry. Shit, I said there wasn't going to be any tears. "I promise, we will see each other again. Let me save up some dollar and I will get a flight back out. You're my girl Isabelle." The niggling feeling it will all change when he gets back on home turf leaves me unable to answer. "Just remember, I love you," he sighs.
"I love you too," I whisper.
When you're excited about something, why does time drag? But when you wish time would slow down it whizzes by, leaving you disappointed. We're pulling up to the airport yet it only seems like we've just climbed into the car. Kyle pulls into a space and exits the car alongside James, I take a deep breath, trying to delay the inevitable. If I stay curled into his side, he won't leave. Right?!
Xavier cups my face between his large hands and place the gentlest of kisses upon my lips. Before the kiss turns to anything more, he releases me and exits the car. Holding his hand out for me to take. Tears roll down my face has I take his proffered hand. Xavier pulls me into his side and wraps his arm over my shoulders, leading me to the entrance of the airport. I'm not ready for this, why can't he stay?
My eyes scan the terminal for Nikki, I find her in Caleb's arms sobbing. Caleb doesn't look like he's going to hold it together for much longer either. Xavier leads us over to check in. My heart breaks into a million pieces, knowing this could be the last time we see each. If I can just hold onto him, God, he can't leave. The call for the flight to America blares across the tannoy. James thanks Kyle for a great summer, then proceeds in my direction. He pulls me into his arms “take care of yourself, Izzy. And keep in contact.” He kisses me on the cheek, leaving me stunned.
“You'll be sick of my messages,” I tease.
“Never,” he states before heading towards the escalator. Caleb yells goodbye while he steps back from Nikki and proceeds to follow James. Kyle and Nikki excuse themselves while I turn to face Xavier. “Isabelle, please promise you'll look after yourself. Don't let the darkness consume you again.” How can I promise not to let the darkness consume me? “I'll try,” I whisper.
Xavier sighs, “Okay, I'll take that.”
Xavier is holding me close like he's scared to let me go. Unfortunately, the inevitable happens when the last call comes over the tannoy. My stomach flips, knowing we've run out of time. “Never forget I love you, you're my girl. I'll speak to you soon Isabelle,” and he's gone. I'm left, watching his back as he enters the boarding lounge. I try to stop the tears from falling, it's impossible. I've just lost the second person I've ever loved.
I collapse into Nikki's arms, both of us sobbing. The urge to run after him is too much, instead, Nikki and Kyle lead me out of the airport and away from the love of my life.
Chapter Seventeen
Xavier
The thought of leaving Isabelle is killing me but it’s for the best, she wouldn’t survive in my world. Fuck, it’s been one trying summer. I can't count the-amount-of times I’ve wanted to slam her body against the wall and sink my cock into her. It's fucking frustrating. I knew she would’ve never been able to handle me. Plus it didn't feel right when she is pregnant with another man's baby. I’m willing to give up my family, my life in America for her but right at this moment, it isn’t possible. I need to avenge my best mate’s death. Maybe once I’ve killed the fucker who took down my best mate, I can come back if she’s willing. But in the respect I wouldn’t want to taint her or the baby’s life. I would rather take a step back than bring Isabelle into this fucked up trouble. It was the hardest decision in my life, walking away from her sobbing form but I need to protect them. I stayed on the balcony until she was out of sight, watching my girl disappear from my life. Shit, how whipped do I sound?
Earlier this morning, the baby kicked for the first time. It was an amazing experience yet at the same time it was bittersweet, I loved the fact I felt her first kick. But on the downside, it felt like the baby was saying goodbye. Like she knew the truth. I managed to get Kyle alone a few days prior to leaving and explained the situation I was in. To say he was pissed is an understatement. The boy went bat shit crazy. I know I fucked up letting my emotions get involved but it was impossible not to. Isabelle kind of wormed her way around my heart, without even trying. Anyway, I gave Kyle a letter to give to Isabelle once I was out of the country.
I’ve been sat on this plane for an hour worrying, whether or not she'll be okay. Praying, I haven’t shattered her or caused for her life to spiral out of control again. I would never forgive myself. There’s so much she doesn’t know about me, so much I've kept hidden to protect her. Hopefully, after reading the letter, she will understand why I kept myself closed off. And pray she believe's everything between us was true. I love her to bits. She allowed me to forget the trouble looming back home. The responsibilities I’m going to have to face.
James is sat in the row ahead of us, blatantly staring at the air hostess' ass. His attempts to flirt is comical, the poor lad has no fucking clue when it comes to women. Caleb is sat beside me, unusually quiet probably thinking about Nikki. In an attempt to have a nap, hopefully, that will help to push my problems away, one could wish.
I awaken when the tannoy sounds, telling us to prepare for landing. Buckling up, I brace myself for the descent, this is what I hate most about flying; the landing. My stomach’
s in tight knots, waiting for us to be safely back on the ground. Air escapes from my lungs, when the wheels touch the tarmac, easing my queasiness. James and Caleb say their goodbyes before heading to catch their next flights. Luckily for me, we’ve landed in my hometown New Orleans. I exit the airport and search the lot wondering if anybody is here to pick me up. But unfortunately for me, the one person I thought was long gone is stood before me with a pistol raised at my chest.
I do as I've been taught and look the enemy in the eye, not showing any weakness. I’ve left myself unarmed, never in a million years did I think, he would show up in broad daylight. “Casper,” I warn, “you know you’ll never get away with this. Have you lost you fuckin mind?” I don’t receive a response, instead, I hear the sound of a gun being fired. “Fuck,” I ground out before dropping to the floor. I picture Isabelle, then my world goes into darkness.
Chapter Eighteen
Isabelle
I’m lost, Xavier left a week ago and I can’t think straight. There’s a gaping hole in my chest, I feel as though half of myself left with Xavier. Like I've lost my soul mate. Sighing, I drag myself out of bed, keeping my promise to Xavier to look after myself. My eyes land on an envelope which has been sitting on my chest of drawers since two days after he left. I haven't had the courage to read the written words. I've studied the envelope on more than one occasion. There's no return address. No postal stamp. I wonder who it could be from?
I tear the envelope open and pull out the letter. I scan the heartfelt words. Tears spring to my eyes. The pain is too much. Who was the stranger I spent the summer with? Everything was a lie, I sob. How could he keep so much of himself hidden away? My heart splinters at the hands of his deceit.
Dear Isabelle,
I never truly realized how hard it was going to be, being away from you. The need to hold you against my chest. To feel your lips pressed against mine is unbearable. I'm counting down the days until I get to have you be within my arms again.
Okay, so you're probably confused why you’ve received this letter. To be honest, this was the only way I had the balls to tell you the truth. I couldn't bear to see you hurt. To witness to pain in your beautiful eyes. I know I'm being selfish but that’s me. I’m a selfish asshole.
I’m just going to spit it out; I wasn’t completely honest about the real me. I’m not entirely sure whether you noticed the fact that I kept myself closed off . Or the fact my attention was focused on helping you. Yet in the way you’re the only person who knows the true me. I am a gamer but it isn’t my true profession, it’s a ploy if you like, to keep me out of the limelight. I can see the questions swirling in your brain but let me finish okay.
My father is part of an MC actually I’ll rephrase that; my father is the president of Rebel Hunters MC. And I happen to be next in line to become president. The reason I didn’t tell you was because I didn’t want to taint you with the lifestyle but I couldn’t keep away. God, I tried but the temptation of you was an impossibility.
Please don’t think everything between us was a lie because that will be bullshit. It was true and real for me. I was happy with you Isabelle, I got to be true to myself. I have many responsibilities regarding the club. But being close to you allowed me to forget the stress and worries of becoming club president.
The only thing I ask from you is, don’t let my confession hinder our relationship.
Please forgive me, Isabelle.
Xavier
The End
Sneak Peek
Inferno by Kathryn Kelly
Prologue
Georgie
It’s been written, that, for the life of the flesh is in the blood…For it is the blood that makes atonement for the soul.
The pain sliding across my belly represents the flesh, the blood, and the atonement. The weakness of my flesh, his flesh, the heat in my blood, has merged into the life I’m struggling to bear. I want this as an atonement. His, too, but I know it isn’t. Forgiveness for what I’ve done isn’t on the horizon.
If I could make it right, I would. Except making it right means I wouldn’t be laboring to bring his child into the world. Confused, I shudder and cry out at another sharp ache, wanting this over with. After writhing in labor for over twenty hours, I don’t know how much longer I can continue. I’m not dilated fully yet, but neither the baby nor I are in distress, so suffering through it is my only option.
How mistaken I was that I’d feel the agony only in my womb. It’s everywhere and it’s wearing me out. “I can’t do this anymore,” I complain, twisting at the cramping and the intense pressure spreading across my lower abdomen and back.
From where she’s seated in a comfortable rocking chair, Grandma’s unyielding eyes narrow. “You’re not fully dilated yet, dear.”
“Please,” I whisper. The wounded animal noises I’ve emitted for hours has hoarsened my voice. My pinned up hair is plastered to my head, long strands sticking to my face and cheeks. “Do something.”
She snorts. If not for my predicament, I’d mark this date on the calendar in my official remembrance of Helen Sanderson’s low-browed sound. According to her, ladies are prim, proper, and elegant.
“Grandma.”
The entreaty in my tone earns me a pinched glare.
“I’m not the one who did this to you. My assistance in this matter only gets you so far. I’ve done all that I can do.”
She nods to my delivery suite, the best money can buy, courtesy of her. Soft lighting, wood furnishing, a gorgeous view of downtown Houston. Music plays as a method of relaxation for me when, in reality, it tears me in two. I’m not sure why she requested to have his songs included in my playlist. Then, I remember.
She’s related to Mom. They’re both sadistic this way.
Sloane’s voice lulls me, soothes me, and breaks me. But it’s always been that way between us. From my first encounter with him when my brother’s best friend snuck me into a party I shouldn’t have attended. Fake IDs, a little makeup, and a lot of money works wonders.
“Court ordered DNA will prove he fathered your baby. Ruin him. Lock him away for years to come.”
When Grandma discovered my pregnancy, it sounded as if she’d made some type of agreement with Sloane. He’d thrown at me that she’d find a boy my age to claim paternity.
Double agony seizes me. Oddly, my emotional distress overshadows the physical torture. He lied to me. Again.
Tears rush to my eyes. Despite our history, I don’t want Sloane labeled in horrible ways because of his relationship with me. “Emancipate me,” I croak out, wishing the idea had come to me months ago when a haze of drugs claimed all my reasoning to remove my craving for love and search for someone to matter to. “Let me take control of my own life.”
“It doesn’t change your age, Georgiana,” Grandma scoffs.
“I’ll do anything except give up my baby for adoption.” For weeks, she’s attempted to secure my agreement for a closed adoption. “Whatever else you want.” My pulse thumps more frantically now than the hours I’ve suffered through labor. “Just help Sloane. Please,” I add.
Mouth pursed, she studies me. “You’ll never see him again?” she asks after a moment.
“As if he’d want to see me,” I mutter, unable to stop the words. The pain of how he feels about me makes me dizzy. “He hates me.”
“He never cared about you in the first place. He used you to make your mother jealous.”
A sob escapes me. “That isn’t true!”
“He had an affair with your mother,” she states coldly, a fact I already know. “He wanted more with her than she was willing to give, so he flaunted you in front of her. In the end, he rejected her and destroyed her.”
Mom and I might not have anything else in common but Sloane’s rebuff. Images run rampant in my head of the two of them together and Sloane doing the things to her that he did to me. Nauseated, I dry heave. I haven’t had solid food in over a day. By the time I went into labor, it had been five or six hour
s since I’d eaten.
“No more talk of emancipation,” Grandma says briskly. “You’ll be eighteen in a matter of months. It’ll take longer to finalize the legalities of freeing yourself from…” She waves a hand, her diamond tennis bracelet sparkling as much as the matching ring she’s wearing. Earrings, similar in style, are in her lobes. The straight strands of her silver hair are situated behind each ear. Money. Power. Ruthlessness. That’s Grandma. “You’ll do as I say to help your mother along.”
Bitterness assails me. No one really cares about my life. This is all to appease Mom and avenge her bruised heart and ego. My nostrils flare. After allowing another contraction to slide through me, I glare. “If helping her along means giving up my baby, then I’m not doing it. Disown me.”
Grandma clenches her jaw and huffs, tapping her fingers on the rocking chair’s wooden arm. Seeing I’m not backing down, she offers a terse nod and reiterates, “No more contact with Sloane.”
Weak and exhausted, I capitulate even as I wonder what makes her think Sloane would accept a call or visit from me. Humiliation aside, he supposedly used me to get back at Mom. Yes, he and Mom slept together, but I don’t believe he ever cared for her as much as he did me. However, with Grandma’s unyielding stipulations on me, I better understand Sloane’s ability to walk away from me when Grandma demanded it. That still doesn’t explain her renewed determination to make him suffer.
“Seeing you and Sloane together will only send Cassandra into another spiral.”
“Mom has Dad,” I point out. “It shouldn’t matter.”
“It does.”
“Grandma—“
“It’s your choice,” she interrupts. “His future, his career, is in your hands.”
A Summer To Remember: Novella (Lost Love Book 1) Page 11