It wasn't the only shock he received, however. Three days after his rampage, he and Allia were visiting the baths for their after-practice bathing, and Tarrin saw Jesmind in the baths, soaping her red hair vigorously. The sight of her made him grit his teeth together, and he extended his claws almost out of impulse. Allia put a hand on his shoulder quickly. "She is not here to fight," she warned, soothing him. "Do not dishonor yourself by attacking one who has no desire to fight."
"Alright," he said stiffly. She looked up, catching his scent, and those green eyes locked with his for a few moments. Then she just looked away, dunking herself underwater to rinse her hair.
The Novices that tended the baths took one look at the impending disaster, and then fled, leaving the three of them alone.
Tarrin stood at the edge of the bathing pool and squatted down, his eyes flat. "What are you doing here, Jesmind?" he asked in a stiff voice.
"I'm bathing," she said with infuriating calm, pulling her hair behind her.
"Don't state the obvious," he grated. "It makes you look like a fool."
Her eyes flashed, and her light expression turned steely. "I'm not the fool here," she said, her voice carrying an edge. Then she turned her back on him pointedly. "I made a deal with the Keeper," she told him. "I promised not to fight with you, and in exchange, they allow me to stay on the grounds."
"You, making deals?" he scoffed.
"Why not?" she said. "I'd never get away from here if I killed you. They'd kill me. I'm not stupid," she told him. "So count your blessings, cub. So long as you're inside the fence, you're safe from me. But be warned. The minute you step outside the fence, your life is mine."
"I'm not afraid of you anymore," he said in a hissing voice. "Any time you want a piece of me, you just ask. I'll bring everything you can handle." That even startled him.
"My, the cub grows teeth, and he thinks he's an adult," she chuckled. "Since we're going to be stuck here together, there's no reason to be so nasty. I'm almost ashamed for you."
"Get over it," he said in an ominous voice.
She stopped, then turned partially and looked at him. And then she flinched visibly. "I, see," she said quietly. Her tone surprised him. It was one of regret, not anger. "Goodbye, Tarrin," she said quietly. "I'll think fondly of you."
That confused him. He gave Allia a strange look, then stalked away.
"Allia," Jesmind called.
"What do you want of me, kissash?" she demanded flatly.
Jesmind winced. "Watch him," she said in a civil tone. "He doesn't have much more time."
"Time?" Allia said. "Time until what?"
"Until he is gone." She wrung her hair out with her paws, looking up at the Selani woman. Her face was sober. "It may come down to you. A knife thrust to the base of the skull will kill, even one of us. Just make sure you sever the spine, and leave the knife in until he's dead."
"What talk is this?" she demanded hotly.
"He trusts you," she sniffed. "When there's no more hope for him, you're the only one that will be able to get close enough."
Tarrin and Allia were in practice the next day when the news reached him. A nervous Novice handed him a message, and then bolted. Tarrin broke the seal on it and unfolded it.
"What is it?" she asked.
"I'm not sure," he replied. Then his eyes widened, and the first smile in a ten-day graced his handsome face. "My family is here!" he exclaimed. He laughed, and then picked up Allia and spun her around a few times. Then his face took a stricken look.
"Just go to them, my brother," she said softly to him. "They are your blood. It is not how you look that will matter to them."
"I hope so," he said fervently.
"Go bathe first," she noted critically. "You have sand all over you."
"You're right," he agreed.
"Well, Faalken," Allia said, dismissing Tarrin with a slap on the rump. "What can I teach you today?"
Tarrin flew through his bath, all but jumping in and jumping out, then he ran to his room and put on his Novice clothes. The note said to meet them in the room that was the third door on the left coming off the hallway that led from the Grand Stairwell, on the third level, along the outermost ring. That was only one floor up, but was in a different section of the Tower.
He ran up there, but then stood in silent dread by the door for nearly ten minutes. His desire to see his family was balanced by the fear that they would reject him, and it left his mind a confusing chaos of conflicting thoughts and impulses. He stood there, eyes closed, hand on the door handle, until a voice from behind startled him out of his indecision.
"Tarrin," called the warm voice.
Tarrin turned and looked. It was Jula, the Sorceress who had braided his hair. She smiled at him and approached, putting her hand on his forearm. "Are you unwell?"
"No, Madam Jula," he said quietly. He heard sudden commotion in the other room. They knew he was here. "I'm alright."
"Good," she said with a smile, patting his arm. "Have a good day."
Tarrin watched her leave, then he took a deep cleansing breath, and turned the handle.
They were all there, as was the Keeper. Seated around a polished oak table that was the main facet of the room, surrouned by many plush chairs. A single window stood on the far wall. But it was the faces of his family that captured his attention, mainly his mother. He watched that face blink once, and then a look of profound relief and joy swept over her features. "Tarrin!" she called, coming around the table.
Tarrin met her half way and buried her in his arms, lifting her up off the ground, all the relief in the world flooding over him. "Mother," he said quietly, in a voice that communicated all the fear and anxiety he had felt at meeting her.
"I need my ribs, my son," she gasped. He let go of her and hugged his father in almost exactly the same way, then he picked up Jenna and whirled her around a few times, as she held onto his neck. He cradled his beloved little sister up in his arms, laughing delightedly. She reached up and touched his cat ear delicately, then started feeling along its ridge-backed length. "It's soft," she remarked.
"It's sensitive," he warned, though he didn't stop her.
"I think it's cute," she said with a grin.
"Well thank you," he grinned, setting her down. "You have no idea how frightened I was-"
"I know, Tarrin, I know," Eron told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. "But no matter how you look, or what happens, you'll always be our son, and we will always love you."
Tarrin put his paw over his father's hand, his eyes grateful and warm.
"Well, I think you need time," the Keeper said. "Show them around, Tarrin." And then she took her leave.
"How did it happen, Tarrin?" Elke asked calmly. "They only told us that you'd been changed. They didn't give us details."
They sat down, each paw holding a hand of a parent and Jenna in his lap, playing with his tail idly, and he recanted the events that had led him up to that point. "I don't really blame Jesmind," he said, looking down a bit. "I just wish she'd give up on this and just wait. She doesn't understand."
"She's only doing what she thinks best," Elke said.
"Well, it's not best for me," he replied calmly. "Jenna hon, don't pick at the fur. That hurts."
"Sorry," she apologized. He pulled his tail free of her hand, and then rapped the end against her forehead, making her giggle. Then he let her grab it again and continue her inspection.
"You seem to have taken to the tail," Eron remarked.
"It's not easy to ignore," he chuckled. "It has its uses."
"I'm sure," Elke said. She turned his paw over and ran her finger along the large pad on the palm, then over the smaller pads on the fingers. Then she pinched his fingertip gently, coaxing a long, sharp, wickedly curved claw to come out. "Formidable," she noted. "It's too long. Where does it go?"
"The bones in the end of my fingers are hollow," he told her. "The claw stays inside it. When its retracted, you can feel the base of it up by the k
nuckle. Just at the end of the pad on my fingertip." He did so, feeling her fingertip put pressure on that very small bump that was the base of his claw.
"Clever."
"Don't congratulate me," he told her. "I didn't do it."
She chuckled. "Guess not. What's it like?"
"It's not all that bad," he told her. "But I have the Cat inside my head too. He kinda came with the body. Sometimes, sometimes I have trouble controlling it. When I get mad, or I'm in a fight." He cut himself off. "Let me show you around," he said. "The gardens here are very pretty."
He took them on a tour of the grounds, introducing them to Faalken and the Knights, then showing the the huge garden behind the north Tower, where the hedge maze was. Tarrin enjoyed it immensely, feeling the worries of the last month flow away at the touch of his parents' hands, or the bright laughter of his sister. They walked around the garden five times, then sat down on one of the marble benches. "We've decided to stay here, Tarrin," Eron told him.
"Stay?" he repeated. "But the farm-"
"Tarrin," Eron said. "Don't worry about the farm."
"But it's our home, father," he said.
"It's not anymore," Elke said quietly.
"What happened?"
"Not long after the Sorcerer arrived to train Jenna, the village was attacked by Dargu," she told him. "We were all in the village that day. Emiris, the man sent by the Tower, gave his life to defend the village. He managed to make them turn and run, even with two arrows sticking out of his chest. He died with honor," she said with respect in her voice. "When we got back to the farm, there wasn't much left. They missed the underground rooms, but everything else was burned to the ground. Instead of rebuilding, we decided to bring Jenna closer to the tower, and we thought that with us close by, it may make you feel more at home here." She patted his paw. "So we packed up everything we could and came here. When you leave the Tower, we'll go back home and rebuild. Maybe," she said. "I rather like it here, and Eron's starting to get a bit restless out there in the forest. I think a couple of years in the city will be good for him. And the Sorcerers said they'd see if they couldn't fix his limp," she added with a smile.
"I'm used to it now," he said mildly.
"True, but you'd be more fun to chase around the bedroom if you weren't so easy to catch."
Tarrin laughed, and Eron flushed a bit. He figured that it was his exposure to his mother that made him relate so well with Allia, and at one time, with Jesmind. They all three were very much alike.
"I'll miss the old farmhouse," Tarrin sighed, "but I guess it's not all that important."
"No, not really," Elke replied. "What matters is that we're still a family, no matter where we are."
"Amen," Eron said.
They ate dinner that night in the same private room where he'd met them, and they all sat around the table and talked for quite a while. The Dargu attack had been sudden, but only a very few houses were damaged, and though there were casualties, they had been light. Only three men had been killed, all of them men Tarrin didn't know very well, who lived to the northeast of the village. The Kael farm, the Sain farm, and the Ubara farm had been burned down, and a few fires in the village itself from burning arrows were just about it. Tarrin marveled at the change in his home village, how it had always been so peaceful and quiet. Now, two attacks in so many months. It was as if the entire world were starting to get unsettled.
But the villagers would cope. Elke respected them a great deal, though she didn't show it, because they were strong. It took a special kind of people to live in a frontier village, where danger could show itself at any moment. The fact that Aldreth saw alot of Dals come down from the mountains, and even the occasional Forest Folk wander in from the Frontier, made them a bit more cosmopolitan than normal backwater villages, and it gave them a tolerance for things that weren't "home". They were a rugged people.
"What have you seen so far, Tarrin?" Eron asked.
"Not much," he chuckled. "I've been in the Tower almost all the time I've been here. I came in the middle of the night like a thief, and sight-seeing wasn't on my mind. I-" he stopped abruptly, turning in his seat. Jesmind's scent was touching him, and it made his ears instantly go back. He had no doubt that she was listening, and in an instant, he realized that if she could use his family to draw him off the Tower grounds. That filled him with a sudden icy rage, so sudden that the Cat roared up from the dark place in his mind and very nearly seized control.
"What's the matter?" Elke asked.
He put up his paw to hush her, and he reached out with his formidable senses. Her scent was her cat-scent, and it was wafting in from the window. He stood up, oblivious to the strange looks his family was giving him, padding on silent feet towards the window.
He had no choice now. To protect his family, Jesmind had to die.
"Get out of the room," he said in a cold, tightly controlled voice.
"What?"
"Get out!" he shouted, as his hand lashed through the window and closed over fur. He drew his hand in, and whipped the white cat across the room. Jesmind yowled in shock and surprise as she sailed through the air, which turned into a screech when she slammed into the far wall with enough impact to chip the stones. Jesmind changed form, blurring into her human-like shape on her hands and knees, her eyes wide, and sudden fear glowing in them.
Utter, total rage boiled through Tarrin's mind as he charged forward, picking up the table and sending his family tumbling in every direction. Jesmind seemed frozen in place, then she suddenly tried to spring out of the way as Tarrin levelled the table at her, but it was too late. He slammed the table into her, as it shattered from the impact, and for a moment she was pinned between the remains of the table and the wall, crying out in pain, until she got a leg up and put a foot on the table, then pushed it away. "Tarrin!" she gasped hurriedly, "I'm not here to fight! Tarrin!"
But Tarrin was beyond any mere words, and one look into his eyes told her that. There was nothing rational left in his eyes. She ducked under when he swung the table pedestal at her, her claws ripping the muscles in his arm and making him drop it. But instead of pressing, Jesmind backed away, quickly, backing straight towards the window.
She never saw it coming.
Eron stepped up behind her and smashed a table fragment into the back of her head, and she crumpled like a rag doll.
Yet that wasn't enough. Tarrin was on top of her in the span of a heartbeat, kneeling over her with one paw on her chest to hold her down, the other rising with claws out to finish her off. She put both her paws on his wrist, weakly trying to push him away, but her eyes were unfocused and she had no strength in her arms.
"Tarrin!" Elke gasped in shock. She grabbed his wrist with both hands. "You can't! She's defenseless!"
Tarrin yanked suddenly, sending Elke reeling, but she would not let go. "No!" she barked at him. "Tarrin!"
He rose up off of Jesmind and smashed Elke against the wall, her feet dangling half a span off the floor, holding her up by the paw she held in her grip, as the other paw reared back, claws out. Her stunned look of terror did not register to him. At that instant, she was not his mother, she was an enemy, someone trying to stop him.
He didn't know what would have happened, had Eron not smashed him in the back of the neck with the table leg. The blow made him let go as he gasped in pain, staggering back. The blow knocked some sense back into him. Jenna was crying hysterically. Elke Kael was wheezing for breath, and Eron was just beside him, ready to hit him again should do anything untowards.
Tarrin looked up, and he realized what had almost happened. He had very nearly killed one of the most important people in his life. "What have I done?" he said in a voice filled with self loathing.
He had almost killed his mother.
He stepped back, putting his paws to his face, bending over to hide from the shame and agony of it.
He had almost killed his mother.
Everything he had ever feared had come to pass. He was losing co
ntrol of himself, becoming the monster that he appeared to be. Not even his own family was safe around him any more. He would have killed Jesmind, and he would have killed Elke, had his father not stopped him.
He had almost killed his mother.
He stood up and wailed, a sound of such loss and despair that it made the hair on the back of Elke Kael's neck stand up, a wail filled with such self-loathing and guilt that it nearly broke her heart. He looked at her then, and in his eyes she could see his blame, his guilt, his apology, and she could see his horror. It was such a look of pleading, of terror, of guilt…it was the look of a man who had lost all hope for himself. He had almost killed her, and Elke understood with that look that it was the one thing that he could not bear, the one horror against which he could not stand.
He had almost killed his mother, and it was the one crime for which there was no forgiveness.
Tarrin flinched away from his mother's gaze, turned, and jumped from the open window.
The Cat-woman groaned a bit and pushed herself up on her hands, looking out the open window. Blood was oozing from the corner of her mouth. "Did you have to hit me so hard?" she complained, rubbing the back of her head.
"I don't think I hit you hard enough," Eron said in a cold voice, one that made her flinch.
"That fool," she spat, sitting up. "I warned him about this, but he wouldn't listen to me." She got to her feet, wobbling a bit, as Elke comforted the nearly-hysterical Jenna. "Tell the Keeper that I'll take care of it."
"How, by killing him?"
Jesmind looked at the blocky man, her eyes grim. "No, he'll do that for himself if someone doesn't stop him," she said. "I didn't come here to fight, but he thought that I was. I didn't know that you people were his family. He was fighting to protect you from me. I'm responsible for this," she said, sighing, "and I have to put things right. Tell the Keeper I'll bring him back, alive, no matter how long it takes."
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