The realization that they were never fully in control.
Tarrin was so desperately alone, and he was too young to be able to deal with it himself. He needed Jesmind, but she couldn't be there to help him. Her instincts cried out to be there for him, but other, equally powerful instincts were forcing her to stay away from him, because he was much too dangerous for her to handle in her condition. She hoped that Triana could take up that role, because of all their kind, she would be the best at recovering her tormented bond-child and returning him to a life of relative peace.
She believed in her mother, and had the feeling that if anyone could help Tarrin, Triana could. She just had to reach him before he was too far gone. She wanted to do it herself. Tarrin was her bond-child, and he was special. She wanted to be there for him, to help him, to ease him through things, but she just couldn't. His Sorcery made him dangerous, and she couldn't risk getting caught between him and his anger should he use his powers while in a fury. She had other duties, other responsibilities, and they were just as powerful and immediate as Tarrin's. It had been a hard choice, but it was a choice that she had been forced to make.
She had been forced to decide between two children, both of which needed her. And she had made her choice. She placed her hand on her belly, her thoughts grim and foreboding.
She only hoped that it was the best one.
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The Tower of Sorcery f-1 Page 100