by E. L. Todd
Finally, I broke the kiss. “I’m sorry…it might be important.”
She moved off of me but didn’t seem mad. “You’re right. You should get it.”
I grabbed my jacket then pulled my phone out of my pocket. I glanced at the screen before I answered it.
Beatrice.
What the fuck? Why was she calling me?
I glanced at Lexie and saw her watch the game on the TV.
Why did I care if she saw Beatrice’s name?
And why was I still thinking about taking this call?
Why did Beatrice want to talk to me?
What did she need to say?
“Are you going to answer that?” Lexie asked.
“I…need to take it in the other room.” I walked into her bedroom then answered it, unsure what I was doing. “Hello?” I sat at the edge of the bed and stared at Lexie’s closet. She had piles and piles of shoes.
“Conrad?” Beatrice voice didn’t sound happy or calm. She sounded terrified.
“What’s wrong?” I blurted. “Are you okay?”
“I’m fine,” she said immediately. “But I heard about the shooting…are you okay?”
I wasn’t sure how she figured it out but word traveled fast among prosperous families. “Yeah, I’m fine. Nothing happened to me.”
“But…you must have been so scared.”
I wasn’t ashamed to admit it. “I was terrified.”
“Is everyone okay?”
“Skye was hit but she’s fine.”
“God, that’s terrible…” She seemed truly upset. “Anyone else?”
“Clementine was hurt but it was a minor injury. Everyone else is okay.”
“Thank god,” she said. “I just heard the news and I had to talk to you…to hear your voice.”
“Well, I’m okay,” I said. “We’ve all been shaken up but we’ll make it through.”
“Yeah…the Prestons always survive.”
I rubbed the back of my neck.
“I’m glad you’re okay,” she whispered. “I was so scared. I know you aren’t in my life anymore but…I couldn’t bare to lose you.”
I knew that fear stemmed from her mother’s death. It was weird to think I knew Beatrice so well, so intimately, but I didn’t know her at all anymore. She was such a big part of my life but now she was just a memory. “Well, thanks for calling me…” There wasn’t much else to say. And I should get back to Lexie.
“Is your girlfriend still around?” There was hope in her voice.
Lexie wasn’t my girlfriend but I didn’t want to correct her. That would be too difficult to explain and I didn’t want to give her the wrong impression. “Yeah, she’s been helping me get through it.”
“Oh…”
Now the conversation was awkward. “You aren’t seeing anyone?”
“I haven’t seen anyone.”
I stared at the ground.
“Well, she’s a really lucky girl.”
“Yeah…”
“You know, you can call me if you change your mind about her…”
For some reason that made me mad. “You didn’t want me when we were together. You pushed me away and let me go. And now that we aren’t together and haven’t been together in a year you actually fight for me? It makes no fucking sense.”
Her voice remained strong. “Sometimes you have to lose something before you realize how much you need it.” She paused for a long time. “I’m much different than I used to be, Conrad. I’ve grown and matured. If you gave me another chance you would see that.”
I ran my fingers through my hair anxiously. “I have a girlfriend, Beatrice. We shouldn’t even be talking about this.” It was just an out. But I did feel guilty since Lexie was in the other room.
Lexie opened the door then came inside, grabbing her phone from the nightstand.
I tried not to talk so Lexie wouldn’t know whom I was talking to.
“I just want you to know the offer still stands if it doesn’t work out…”
“Well, thanks.” I guess. “I should go.”
“Okay,” she said sadly. “I hope we’ll talk again soon.”
“Bye.” I hung up and tossed my phone aside.
Lexie came to my side with her phone in her hands. “Everything okay?”
I couldn’t hide anything from her. I told her I would always be honest. And I had nothing to hide anyway. “That was Beatrice.”
“Oh.” She sat down beside me. “I see.”
“She found out about the shooting and wanted to make sure I was okay.”
“It would scare anyone,” she said quietly.
“She still wants me back.” I wasn’t sure why I said that, especially so bluntly.
Lexie crossed her arms over her chest. “And do you want her back?”
“No.”
She turned to me. “Are you sure?”
“No. Why would I lie?”
“Why did you take her call to begin with?”
“I don’t know,” I said honestly. “I thought she might need help or something.”
“And what if she did?”
I shrugged. “I’m not cold. Our relationship didn’t end because she cheated or lied. I still care about her and always will.”
She turned away. “If you still love her, you should make it work.”
“I don’t love her,” I blurted.
Lexie finally dropped it. “Then why are you in such a solemn mood?”
“I guess I’m irritated. She didn’t fight for me when we were together. And now she fights for me when it’s too late. It’s interesting how the world works sometimes.”
“It’s natural to still feel something for your ex, no matter how complicated it is.”
“She’s the only ex I have. I guess I don’t have anything to compare it to.”
She crossed her legs. “When my ex tried to get back together with me, I still loved him. I agreed to give him a second chance when I shouldn’t have. We went to counseling even though I knew it would never work. I still don’t know why I bothered. The feelings were complicated…”
It was the first time she shared something personal with me. And that meant a lot to me. My hand snaked across the bed and grabbed hers. “You were married?”
“For two years,” she said. “It was a stupid decision.”
“It couldn’t have been all bad, right?”
“It wasn’t because I was ignorant most of the time. But when I realized he was cheating on me since the day we got married I pretty much hated him completely. I’ve never forgiven myself for being so stupid.”
“Don’t beat yourself up over it.”
“I was so humiliated—in front of everyone I knew. And he cheated on me with my sister…that was the worst part.”
Shit, that was bad. “You’re too good for that.”
“I know,” she said. “But it still haunts me sometimes.”
I put my arm around her shoulders. “For what its worth, that guy was an idiot. And you deserve so much more than what he gave you.”
“I was young and stupid.”
“If you gave love another chance, I’m sure it would be different.”
“Love doesn’t exist,” she said. “And I won’t waste my time searching for it.”
“If you found the right guy you wouldn’t feel that way.”
“Well, there’s no such thing as the right guy,” she said quietly. “My life is better this way. I have the love of my friends and family. I don’t need anything else.”
I felt the same way. After the way Beatrice hurt me, I didn’t want to risk my heart again. I couldn’t do it. It was just too hard. “You and I are a lot alike.”
“We are,” she agreed.
I pulled her close to me. “At least we got each other, right?”
“Yeah, you’re my closest friend right now.”
“You’re mine too.” I smelled her hair as I held her. “Can I propose something?”
“Sure.”
“Wh
en this ends…can we still be friends?”
“Why?”
“I never want to have you out of my life. You’re too cool.”
She looked up at me and smiled. “Too cool, huh?”
“Yeah,” I said. “So, you want to be my friend? I’m really good. I have tons of references.”
She chuckled. “I would love to be your friend, Con.”
“Good.” I rested my head on hers. “I need someone to watch the Yankee game with anyway.”
“I thought I embarrassed you?”
I chuckled. “You make me laugh and smile. And you never embarrass me.”
She turned her head up and looked at me. Affection was in her eyes as well as joy.
I leaned down and kissed her, giving her the same kiss as I did before. And like last time it felt right.
It always felt right.
I Will Love You
Book Twenty-Three Of The Forever and Ever Series
AVAILABLE NOW
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E. L. Todd
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