by Gorman, A.
Dedication
To the love of my life, you have supported me from day one, and you always have my back. We may have been bucked off a few times, but we always get back up, dust ourselves off, and get back on. It’s been one hell of a wild ride, and I can’t wait to see where life takes us.
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A Second Chance
By A. Gorman
Chapter One
Hayden
The hot Texas sun shines brightly overhead as barrel racer after racer runs clovers, trying to beat the best recorded time of the event. As the day drags on, nerves take over, and butterflies flutter in my stomach as my time to ride approaches. I walk over to the trailer and mentally prepare for our race.
The sun lowers in the sky, and I warm up, knowing we’re up soon. Barney loves the excitement of the crowd and feeds off their energy to pump him up. I forget sometimes that he’s a horse because he acts so much like a human.
“Next up are the reigning state champions, Hayden Bergman and Barney…”
I lean over and pat Barney’s neck. “We got this, B.” He shakes his head at me, and we trot toward the chute. Barney anxiously chews his bit, ready to run. As soon we cross the start/finish line, our time starts. We’ve run this clover path hundreds of times. I close my eyes, inhale slowly, and I open my eyes as I let the shaky breath out.
The sun sets in the sky behinds us as I tap on Barney’s side with my heel. I grip the reins, preparing for forward movement. He takes off in a sprint, and we rush over the start line toward the first barrel. As we get close, I pull back on the reins to slow Barney, and we round the barrel without touching it. I give his side another tap, and he speeds to the next barrel, and I tug back as we approach the second barrel, clearing it with ease.
The final barrel comes in view, and Barney knows what to do as I tap his side. I pull back on the reins as we round the third barrel, Barney steps awkwardly, and I fly off his back. The left side of my body and head crushes the barrel, and I fall to the dirt as Barney falls onto his side inches from me. The loud arena silences as darkness spots my vision. Whispering voices echo in my head as the sound of pounding feet come toward me.
I blink my eyes to focus on my best friend, and I roll to him. Pain radiates through my shoulder and arm. I look down, hoping it’s not broken, and I push the pain aside. Barney needs me. I rub his muzzle.
“Barney, stay still,” I mumble out. He fights and tries to get up, hitting my arm with his muzzle. The pain pushes back, making everything around me dark, and lulls me to pass out.
“Hayden, you need to get checked out. Uncle Ryan is right behind us,” my dad tells me when he reaches me. Uncle Ryan is the county veterinarian, and equine is his specialty.
“It’s his left leg. I heard it sn-snap, and I think it’s br-broken,” I stutter through the pain.
“We’ll get him taken care of, don’t you worry about it. I need to get you help.”
“Hayden, I need to take a look at you,” James Curtis, a medic I grew up with, says as he kneels beside me. He pulls a flashlight from his pocket and shines it in my eyes.
“My arm,” is all I can get out.
He nods, and with gentleness, he grasps my arm. Pain jolts through my body, like a zap from an electric fence, and I cry out, wanting him to stop touching me.
“Hayden, I need to get you to the hospital. The ambulance will be here in a few.” He pulls tape out of his bag, moves my arm to my side, and tapes it in place. James’s partner comes with a backboard. They work together at a rapid pace to place me on it and load me into the ambulance.
As I look out the back of the ambulance, I see Barney standing, but I don’t like the look on my uncle’s face. He glances up, looking in my direction. Our eyes meet, and he shakes his head. Tears prickle in my eyes. Not only did I lose the race, the championship, but I could be losing my best friend too. Hot tears run down my face, into my hair, and James gently pats my face dry as he takes my vitals.
Physical therapy the last five weeks has damn near killed me. Broken left clavicle, shattered left humerus, and fractured left scapula are the damages the barrel gave me. I shouldn’t complain. My recovery hasn’t been as bad as Barney’s. At least I can move around.
His fetlock was fractured. He’ll never race again.
Neither will I.
We still don’t know if he has to be put down. He’s recovering well, but the chances of him having to be put down are greater than him recovering. If this had happened a few years ago, he would already have been put down.
I’m glad Uncle Ryan and his staff have been taking care of him. When I’m able, I go to the clinic and check in on Barney. I have to watch doing too much because one accidental bump could redo the damage, even though my breaks are almost fused together, with help from screws and plates.
Next week I can return to my normal activities, but the only thing I’ll be doing is working in the office at the stables. I have no desire to be on another horse. Barney has been my partner, my friend, and he was there for me when Rory left.
Rory Walker. He’s been on my mind with all the downtime I’ve had. I heard he was back in town, but I haven’t seen him. I thought he would come here to check on me because news traveled quickly about the accident, how the four-time champion reign came to a tumbling end. I’m curious to why he’s home in the middle of the PBR tour.
At one time, I thought he was my forever, but life has a funny way of working out. If there was a chance that we could get back together, I would. Everything that happened prior to him leaving was amazing. I had the perfect life. After he left, nothing was important anymore. He was like the other part of my life. I tried moving on, but I couldn’t. No one filled the void that Rory left behind.
I’ve given up too much of my life to have people whisper behind my back instead of being a friend, the friends they claimed to be. And now that I’m not the champion anymore doesn’t mean I’m not the same person I was before my fall. I’m throwing myself a pity party, but I shouldn’t be. I should be looking at a new horse to race instead of letting fall ruin what I once loved doing, but I can’t. I can’t get that scene out of my head, and it plays on a constant loop.
What if the next horse steps wrong and I’m thrown off again? I can’t take the risk of getting close to another racing partner and losing them. Barrel racing is a chapter of my life that I closed. The love that I once had for it is gone…The fall broke more than just my bones.
I’m so sorry, Barney…It’s my fault you’re broken just like me.
Chapter Two
Rory
The phone call replays in my mind as I drive down the gravel road to Bergman Stables. Dust kicks up behind my truck, and the view behind me is cloudy, like my future. I’ve been home from Kentucky for six weeks. I arrived the same day as her accident. I was ready to lay it all out for her, but I didn’t have the chance.
I’m a bastard. I should have checked on her, but what would I have said? Sorry to hear about your fall. Oh, and I regret leaving you for the PBR. I failed miserably and missed you. I’m sure she doesn’t want to hear my groveling. Hell, I’m not even sure she wants to hear from me. We faded away from each other after I left over a year ago. Traveling the circuit took up most of my time. When I wasn’t riding, I was practicing or sleeping.
I fell for the
fast life of a bull rider, groupies, and everything else that came with being at the top. It got old fast, and I realized I missed her. None of it was her. None of it made me feel the way she did. I’m a love-sick fool…and I don’t know if I can ever get her back.
The red-colored stables come into view. I’m here to look at a colt for a client. Bergmans breed the best Quarter Horses in the region. Plus it gives me an excuse to be here, to see Hayden. I park my truck near the office and quietly walk in. I’m not supposed to be here for another fifteen minutes.
I sit down in a brown leather chair near the door, and that’s when I see her in the back office. Her back is to me; she didn’t see me come in because she’s on the phone. Her body posture is slumped. I’m not sure if it’s from her injuries or if her spirit is broken. She hangs up the phone and turns around. Our eyes meet. She’s unguarded, and her sad, pale green eyes tell me everything I need to know.
Hayden looks away, turning her body from me, and she walks out of her office. She looks happy to see me here, but she looks like she’s at a loss for words.
“Rory…?”
“Hey, darlin’. It’s good to see you.” I lean over and kiss her cheek. My feelings for her bubble to the surface, and I want to do more than just kiss her cheek. I want to familiarize myself with every inch of her body. It’s been too long.
“How have you been?” Her cheeks blush, and she takes a half step back, trying to clear her head. I still affect her.
“I’ve been doing okay. Back in Texas to work for my dad.”
“Oh, how long have you been back?”
“A little over a month.”
“Nice. Staying for good?”
“That’s the plan. Dad wants me to take over a majority of the business, because he wants to go into cattle or some kind of livestock.”
“That’s a big leap from training horses.”
“I think so too, but it’s what he wants to do.”
“Nice. So are you my two o’clock appointment instead of your dad?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
“Enough of my yapping then. Let me show you the colt.”
She walks by me, and I turn around to follow her out the door. I walk behind her, admiring the view. Her curves go for miles, and her jeans hug her ass. I clear my throat, trying to clear my mind from the thoughts of her luscious body.
“The colt doesn’t mind a halter,” she says, breaking my train of thought.
“Good. Did you work him?”
“No, Matt did.” Her brother? “When did he start working the colts? I thought he was traveling.”
“He came home after I got hurt and took over my duties. I work in the office now.”
“Do you ride at all?” She stops and turns around, facing me.
“No.” Tears well in her eyes.
“Oh, Hayden.” I take a step toward and wrap her in my arms, holding her tight. I feel like an ass for not seeing her sooner. “Talk to me.”
She shakes her head no.
“Darlin’, I’ll listen to whatever you have to say. I probably have no right saying that, but I’m here.”
She raises her head, looking up at me. “Why didn’t you come sooner?”
“Selfishness, I guess.” I release her from my hold. I didn’t want to have this conversation with her now or here. I look around and see we aren’t far from the tack room. I grab her by the waist and pull her into the room, closing the door behind us.
Without a single word, I lace my fingers in her hair and kiss her. She trembles under my touch, but she wraps her arms around my waist, pulling me into her. Her taste drives me wild, and her soft moan makes my cock harden as I deepen the kiss. This can’t happen now. There’s too much that I need to say. I reluctantly end our kiss and place my forehead on hers.
“I don’t know what to tell you. I’m an asshole. I should have come straight here after I got the phone call. I was five hundred miles away when James called. But I didn’t. I didn’t know what to say to you. I still don’t. I’m sorry I didn’t try harder for us. I still love you. Fuck. I have no right to say that to you.”
She reaches up and softly places her hand on me lips, stopping me from talking.
“I understand…So many times I wanted to reach out to you, but I didn’t know if you wanted to hear from me. You were living your dream, and I wasn’t going to bother you.”
“You wouldn’t have been a bother.” I caress the side of her face with my hand. She leans into my touch. “It might have made me realize sooner what I was missing…what I left behind.”
“I was trying to move on…” Guilt flashes in her eyes as she looks at me.
“I thought that’s what I wanted too…but I was wrong. I failed at competing. It was my sign to come home.”
“I’m not the same person you left.”
“I didn’t expect you to be…I was hoping you’d be single, though. Selfish, I know.”
“Maybe I’m not single.”
“Would you have kissed me back like that if you weren’t?”
“No.” She smiles shyly.
“I don’t expect to pick up things where we left them, but I would love to give us a chance again.”
“I don’t know, Rory…” She hesitates.
“Hayden, I won’t pressure you into anything, but I’m not going anywhere. I made that mistake once, and I won’t do it again.”
“I’ll think about it.”
“Thank you.” I pull her into me again, and her body melts into mine. This feels so right.
She gives me a small smile. “I better show you this colt…” Hayden opens the door and walks out of the room, leaving me behind. I hope I didn’t push her too much, but she needs to know how much she means to me and how stupid I was.
Chapter Three
Hayden
I watch Rory’s truck kick the dust up as he drives away. Feelings I’ve kept hidden away for the past year and a half kick me in the stomach, and I don’t know if I should be happy he still loves me or mad as hell that he still has an affect over me. He didn’t do me wrong, we just wanted different things when he left the valley, and I refuse to hold that against him. Did it break my heart at the time? Yes, but he tried to stay in contact, and I let him go.
I walk back into the air conditioned office and touch my lips. They are still swollen from his kisses. My heart pounds with excitement from his touches, and my body craves his full attention. I fall back into my office chair a little harder than I mean to, and pain radiates through my body.
Six and half weeks later and my body still hurts from the fall. I feel eighty-two instead of twenty-two most days, and the doctor keeps telling me to give it time, but I don’t want to. I close my eyes, waiting for the throbbing to leave my back, and I sit back softly.
My mind goes back to Rory. Do I want to try with him again? We were amazing together. Could we go back to that again? I think back on all the years we were together. He was my first kiss, my first love, my first heartbreak…Are all those feelings worth it…Is he worth it?
“Hayden?” my dad hollers from the front office.
“Yeah, Dad?” I respond, and he walks into my office.
“Did Royce Walker come in?”
“No, Rory did.”
“Oh, was that who you were talking with?”
“Yes…”
“I heard he was taking over RW Ranch, but I didn’t hear it from any of the Walkers. I was going to ask Royce today.”
“That’s what Rory told me. He said Royce was getting into livestock.”
“Interesting.”
“Equine to bovine…”
“Big difference.”
“Agree.”
“What did Rory think of the colt?”
“He said it would work for his client, and he was going to get the paperwork drawn up today. I think he’ll be back at the end of the week to pick him up.”
“That works. We have one more colt, unless you want him to train and ride.” His eyes beg me to say yes
.
“I’m good, Dad. I don’t need to ride.”
“But it’s who you are.”
“No, it’s who I was. I’m not that person any more. My mistake ruined that for Barney and me.”
“It wasn’t your fault. It was a freak accident. How many times have you ridden a horse around the clover? How many times did you ride Barney around the clover? Thousands of times, Hay. Please, you got to see that this isn’t your fault. It couldn’t have been prevented…”
“I’m not ready, Dad. I have no desire to be back on a horse…”
He looks like I just broke his heart…He and Mom poured all their time into letting Matt and I live our dreams. Matt became a traveling farrier, and I was a barrel racer. Was. No more. Now I have to figure out what I’m going to do with the rest of my life. All I know is horses.
“All right. You know your mom and I will always support you in whatever you decide to do. I just don’t want you give up what you worked most of your life toward because of one fall…”
Tears burn my eyes.
“I’m sorry. That sounded insensitive…I love you, Hayden. Don’t give up.” He turns and leaves before I can reply. My dad can be an ass sometimes, because he cares. Sometimes he cares too much. I understand where he’s coming from, but I don’t have to agree.
I blow the piece of strawberry blonde hair that fell into my eyes out of my face. Paperwork I put off this morning needs to be addressed now, but all I can think of is whiskey-colored eyes and the smell of Tommy Hilfiger cologne.