by Gorman, A.
“Look over there.” Matt pointed to the stars reflecting in the still water beside them.
“This is amazing,” she gasped. “It feels like we’re floating in the sky.”
Matt pushed up on his elbow. “Can’t see that in the city, can you?”
“This is so beautiful.”
The wind blew, warm and gentle, rippling the water that surrounded them and blowing the honeysuckle fragrance over them.
Ashley closed her eyes and took in a deep breath. “This is the best night.”
“Wanna make it better?” Judging by the way she opened her eyes and the languid smile that formed on her lips, she knew exactly what he meant. It was impulsive and rash and selfish, and he shouldn’t have said it. She’d shared her greatest struggle with him, which meant she trusted him. If he made love to her tonight, she’d hate him. He’d hate himself. “I’m sorry. I should’ve―”
She grabbed him around the back of the neck, pulled him down to her, and kissed him, leaving no room for rational thought. It was just the two of them in the dark with the stars and the honeysuckle. He was powerless to stop. Now he was the addict desperate for a taste of what was forbidden.
He unbuttoned her shirt and marveled at how beautiful her body was. She had a tattoo right above her waistband. Tiny angel wings.
“They’re for Mackenna,” she said. “She’s my guardian angel. My protector.” She sat up and started to button her shirt. “I should go.”
“Yeah.” He stood and helped her up. “Want me to drive you?”
“I’ll walk.”
“So you know the way now, huh?” he asked, trying to keep it light, trying to keep her from being too uncomfortable in this awkward situation he put them in.
“Javier showed me a short cut,” she said without looking at him. “Thanks for a great night.” She waved goodbye and disappeared into the night.
Matt’s phone rang on his way back to his house. He almost ignored it because the only people who called him at this time of day had car trouble, but he didn’t, because he hated to think someone might be stranded somewhere and need help. He cradled the phone between his shoulder and ear. “This is Matt.”
“So you are alive.”
Even if he hadn’t recognized the voice, the bite was undeniable. Rebecca. Dammit. “Yep. I’m alive.”
“I wasn’t sure because you haven’t been accepting any of my phone calls.”
“Been busy. What can I do for you?”
“I’m getting out. They gave me a bus ticket to Durant. You can pick me up on Friday at ten in the morning.”
Did he hear her right? “What the fuck do you mean you’re getting out?”
“I made parole. I’ll be released on Friday. You’d know this if you’d have accepted any of my calls. Didn’t you get a letter?”
Did he? It was possible. Anytime he saw anything with the Oklahoma Department of Corrections on the envelope, he threw it out. “No.”
“Well, pick me up. Don’t be late. We have a lot to discuss.” She hung up, leaving him stunned and depressed.
She’d only served eighteen months of her five-year sentence, so apparently a third offense for pushing prescription drugs meant nothing anymore. Dammit. He should’ve killed her when he had the chance. He always knew the five-year date would come, but he thought he had at least three and a half more years to worry about it. He was just starting to move on and be happy—really happy. He thought about Ashley and the way she kissed him. There was something there, something amazing, and now Rebecca was going to come back and ruin it all. Why the hell did he ever marry her?
Chapter Five
Ashley
“What about this?” Mackenna held up a big, blue satin bow.
“Looks great!”
“Okay. That’s it.”
“What?”
“You have got to tell me what’s going on.”
“Nothing.”
“It’s so obvious something’s wrong, but you’re acting like it’s nothing, like you don’t want me to know. I know you’re trying to hide something from me.”
Ashley plopped down on the sofa. “I’m not doing drugs, if that’s what you’re worried about. I haven’t told you because I don’t want you worrying about me so close to your wedding. You’ve had to worry about me for most of my life. After everything you’ve done for me, you deserve to have the perfect wedding, and I would feel awful if I ruined that too.”
Mackenna sat next to her and put her arm around her. “You feel guilty for what I did to save you?”
Ashley laid her head on her big sister’s shoulder. “I know it was bad, Mackenna. I know the people I was mixed up with. I know you can’t sleep because you have nightmares, so yeah, I feel guilty.”
“But everything happens for a reason, right?
“I guess.”
“I met Ben while I was trying to find you.”
“Yeah.” Ashley shrugged. “So?”
“So I sacrificed six months and a little sleep for you, but I’m happy now because of you. What I did is nothing compared to what you’ve fought your way through.”
“I guess I…” Ashley had never thought of it that way. Mackenna and Ben were perfect together; they were perfectly matched in every way, and the way they took care of Javier together was beautiful. “I’ve never considered it like that.”
“I don’t care about this stupid wedding, Ashley. Well, I mean I do, but I don’t need the perfect day to make my life perfect. It’s perfect because I have the people I love with me, but I can feel you slipping away again. I know you’re struggling, so I’m going to worry. Tell me the truth so I don’t have to make it up. Talk to me.”
“Matt is married.”
“Oh my God.” Mackenna sat up and twisted her torso to face her. “That son of a bitch.”
“It’s not like that. He doesn’t love her.”
“Oh please.”
“I know. I sound pathetic.”
“So where is she?”
“In prison.”
Mackenna raised an eyebrow. “What did she do?”
“I think she stole Pop’s medicine or his doctor’s prescription pad or something like that.”
“Hang on a minute.” Mackenna left and returned with her laptop. “I can find out.”
“No.” Ashley put her hand on the laptop and pushed it closed. “I will not have you hacking into some ultra-secure database and putting yourself at risk for this. I know you’re very good at it, but I won’t have you do that kind of stuff for me anymore. You could lose your job.”
“First of all, I’m a consultant; I can’t lose my job because I’d never fire myself. Second of all…” She yanked the computer out of Ashley’s reach. “I was going to Google it. What’s her name?”
“Rebecca.”
Mackenna typed in a few words and scrolled through a few pages of results. “That’s not it.” She typed and scrolled, typed and scrolled. Finally, she said, “Got it.”
“What does it say.”
“Oh God.”
“What?”
“Hang on a second.” Mackenna bit her bottom lip as her eyes scanned the screen. When she finally looked up, she cringed. “She’s being released tomorrow. You were right about the prescription drugs. Stealing an old man’s pain medicine? Who does that?”
“Someone who’s desperate.” Her voice came out smaller than she’d intended, but she felt so small at hearing her sister’s disdain. A year ago, she might have done the same thing.
“Sorry. I didn’t mean—”
“It’s fine,” Ashley interrupted. “It’s an awful thing to do. What else did you find?”
Mackenna gave her that same smile she’d given ever since she could remember when she felt bad about something she’d said and then focused her attention back to her laptop. She read for a minute longer and then frowned. “She was arrested in room ten at the old motel in town about a month before she and Matt were both questioned about a murder at their home.”
> “Where he lives now?”
“Yeah. Some lowlife drug pusher attacked her, and he shot the guy.”
“Oh my God.”
“Yeah, but…”
“What?”
“The guy’s cell phone was never found, but according to his records, he’d made a call right before going into the house.”
“What good is a drug dealer if he doesn’t have a phone? How did they explain that?”
“Matt couldn’t. Rebecca blamed it on the police mishandling the evidence.”
“Did they ever find the phone?”
“No. And the case is still open. She was arrested a month later on the drug charges. There’s something that’s really bothering me about all this.” Mackenna looked up at her over the top of her laptop.
“What?”
“I don’t know. A name keeps popping up, along with Tulsa.”
“Isn’t that where Ben’s been working?”
Mackenna didn’t respond, and Ashley realized she wasn’t really talking to her. She got this way when she was trying to work through a problem, and trying to engage her now would frustrate her.
“Ben’s working on a case in Tulsa. Before he left yesterday, I saw him put something into his bag with…” She stood. “Something’s not right here. I’m going to go to the bedroom and work through this.”
Ashley couldn’t sleep that night, thinking about Matt and Pop and the woman who’d be coming home to them tomorrow. She almost had sex with him—a married man. What did it say about her that she’d wished she had?
Her door flew open. Mackenna stood in the doorway, backlit by the light they kept on in the hall for Javier. She was cradling her open laptop in her arm.
“What?” Ashley sat up on her elbows.
“Tulsa.”
“Yeah?”
“I’m going to need your help.”
“Okay.” She sat up. “What is it?”
“Rebecca’s release has some kind of connection to Ben’s case.”
“Oh my God.”
“I have to ask you something I promised I’d never ask you.”
“You can ask me anything.”
“And no matter what your answer is, we can handle it, okay?”
She’d never seen her sister so scared before. Was this what she was like when she was trying to find her? “You’re scaring me, Mackenna. What is it?”
“Do you know anyone in town who sells drugs?”
Chapter Six
Matt
Matt watched the Greyhound bus pull to a stop and Rebecca climb out. Even coming out of a big, ugly bus, she was gorgeous. They were happy back in the days when love was all they needed and life hadn’t disappointed her. He hadn’t disappointed her. Then she turned, and though he never knew exactly when that happened, it always came back to the grease that was on his hands or the money that wasn’t in his wallet.
She stopped when she got to his truck, threw her hair back, and glared at him through the window.
Matt rolled the window down. “Are you going to get in?”
“I was waiting for my loving husband to open my door for me.”
“If you want a ride, get in. If you want someone to play your games, I’m sure there’s a casino bus somewhere in the area.”
She rolled her eyes and climbed in, slamming the door as she scooted over to the middle of the seat and put her arm around him. He’d rather put his hand into a bed of a million fire ants than have her touch him. She’d been responsible for so many people getting hurt. Except for Ashley. She was his fault, his responsibility.
Rebecca kissed his ear and whispered, “Did you miss me?”
“Not at all.” Matt put the car into drive and pulled onto the road.
Rebecca snuggled in closer and wrapped her other arm around him. “Did you tell anyone?”
“You think if I had, you’d be sitting here right now?”
“Aw. Someone’s feelings are hurt,” she teased.
“I don’t give a damn about my feelings, Rebecca.” He pushed her hand off his shoulder. “You got greedy, and I’ve spent the last year and a half in the hell that you created for me.”
“You’re mad that I got caught.”
“I’m mad at you for a lot of things.”
When they got to the house, he got out and left her in the truck. Inside, he went to Pop’s room, where he was sitting at the window watching for them. “Is she coming in?”
“Yeah.” Matt put his hand on Pop’s shoulder. “She’s just on a power trip. Wants me to come out there and open the door for her.”
“How is she?”
“Same as always.”
“Did you talk about it?”
“Not yet. But don’t you worry. I’m not going to leave you here with her.”
Pop put his hand on his and patted it. “Just don’t forget where my papers are. When I’m gone, that will make it easier for you.”
He kissed the top of Pop’s head. “I’m in no hurry to lose you.” He trudged back out to the truck and opened the door for Rebecca.
“Finally,” she huffed as she climbed out.
He pushed her up against the door with his hands on her shoulders. “Time to talk.”
She wriggled out of his grasp and pushed past him. “I’m going to talk to my grandfather.”
Matt grabbed her wrist and pulled her back to him. “Leave him alone. He’s asleep.”
“What’s the matter?” Her gaze moved slowly from the place where he was holding her wrist, up his arm, and to his face. “You don’t wanna let me out of your sight?” She stepped into him, pushed her breasts against him, and rubbed his bottom lip with her thumb. “Maybe talking isn’t what you really want. Maybe you want to throw me in the back of your stupid pickup truck and fuck me.” She raised up on her tiptoes and kissed him on the lips. “I know I could use a good fuck.”
He grabbed her hair at the back of her head and pulled to get her lips off his. “Don’t forget I could fuck you without even touching you.”
“Clearly you don’t understand how it works, Matthew. You can’t fuck someone without getting fucked yourself.”
How did he ever love this woman? Everything about her was so much less than Ashley. Two different women; two different bonds. His bond with Ashley was satin. His bond with Rebecca was barbed, and he was so damn tired of bleeding. He pulled harder on her hair. “Tell me where it is.”
For the first time since she got into his truck, Rebecca’s expression faltered. Her lips quivered in a rare moment of vulnerability. She blinked a few times, and it was gone. Then she gulped and said, “If I tell you, you’ll leave.”
His anger subsided, and he let go of her hair and backed away. That’s how he’d loved her. Because she once loved him. They weren’t the same people apart from each other, so they couldn’t be the same people together. Her unmet expectations and his dead hopes were all that was left of them now. “I left a long time ago, Rebecca. Right after you left me.”
“Well I’m back now, and you will love me, or I will make your life a living hell.”
“It’s already a living hell.” He went into the house, slammed the door, and went to Pop’s room. He sat on the edge of the bed, put his head in his hands, and fought the urge to cry. She wasn’t going to let him go, and it wasn’t because she hated him. It was because she still held on to some twisted version of love that manipulated and lied.
Pop rolled his wheelchair over to him and rubbed his head. “It’s okay, son.”
“It didn’t go well.”
“I could see that. Give her some time.”
He went to his…their bedroom when he heard the water from the shower. Washing prison off of her. That’s probably the first thing he’d want to do too. He hoped to God he’d never have to. Having Rebecca back was bringing up the awful memory of the night he killed the person attacking her…who he thought was attacking her, in the room across the hall. The room always stayed shut now, but it didn’t matter.
He could s
till see every detail of that night with clarity. He came home from work to find someone on top of his wife, raping her. Or so he thought. He grabbed the gun from the drawer in the table by the door, shot the man in the back, and watched him go limp on top of Rebecca. After the coroner and police left, she poured him a drink, which he gulped down despite his shaking hands. Then she showed him the text messages on the man’s cell phone. She owed him money but couldn’t pay him. She said she was afraid of her husband because he had a lot of rage. She told him she could have sex with him to pay him off, but he’d have to come there.
She’d set the whole thing up to kill two birds with one stone. Get rid of the man she owed money to and bind her husband to her. It was love, she said, and one day he’d understand. But in case he didn’t, she had the cell phone. The whole time she told him all this, his eyelids got heavier and his limbs felt like weights. She’d drugged him. When he woke up, she’d hidden the phone.
The water turned off, and she walked out, naked and drying her hair with a towel. “I hope you never have to find out how good it feels to wash prison out of your hair. Hand me my jeans, please.” Her jeans were on the bed, within arm’s reach of her, but she wanted him to do it.
He’d forgotten how tiresome power struggles with her were. Always trying to decide which battle to fight was almost as exhausting as the battle itself. When he picked up the pile of denim and passed it to her, a small strip of paper fell out of the front pocket onto his lap. He unfolded it. It had Ben’s name and address written in her handwriting. “What the hell is this?”
“I’m not supposed to talk about it.” She tried to snatch it out of his hands.
He stood and held it away from her reach. “When did you start following the rules?”
“When the rules got me out of prison. Give it back.”
It was another power struggle, but this was a battle worth fighting. “Tell me why you have this, and I’ll think about it.”
“I wasn’t exactly let out for my good behavior.”