She swept her hands in a long arc, and light filled the glade, brighter than any sun or flame. Burying my eyes under my battered wing, I heard the screams of the creature as whatever magic Aileen had flung at it, tore through its body.
Whatever happened next, I didn’t know. When I peered from behind my feathers, the creature was gone, and the witch stood over me, a look of absolute rage on her face. I’d never seen her look so angry, and I cowered under the weight of it.
Aileen grabbed me by the scruff of the neck and shook me with all her might. The force of her anger caused my bones to shatter, and I began to change back into a man. Fire tore through my body as my limbs lengthened and my insides grew, my white feathers melting into my flesh.
When I was done, I knelt in the dirt, naked as the day I was born. I was ashamed to look up. I knew what I would find if I did. Disappointment. I’d gone looking for trouble and had almost been killed, and Aileen…she had almost been dragged down with me.
I wasn’t a warrior or a savior.
I was a fool.
Chapter 7
“What did I tell you?” Aileen exclaimed.
“I’m sorry,” I muttered. “I didn’t think it would be a worry if I was a gyrfalcon.”
“That’s right,” she seethed. “You didn’t think.”
The witch muttered under her breath and began pacing back and forth in front of me.
“The hawthorn was hurting, wasn’t it?” I asked. “That’s what I was feeling.”
“You were lucky I was watching it,” Aileen said irritably.
“Why didn’t you tell me?”
Her expression contorted, and I was positive she didn’t trust me quite as much as she’d let on. If she did, she would’ve told me the truth about the hawthorn when I asked about it the other night. Then we wouldn’t be in this predicament.
“It was a craglorn,” she declared, avoiding my question. “A servant of the witch Carman.”
“Who?” I narrowed my eyes. I was tired of not understanding the world I was a part of. Not because I was daft but because I couldn’t remember.
“A power hungry bitch, that’s who. Evil to the core. She did some very bad things and was banished from Ireland over a thousand years ago because of it. There’s no way she can return. Ohh, I can see that look in your eyes. She ought to be dead after that long, right? Not her. Not with the magic she’s sucked out of witches all over the world. She wants back in, laddy, and she will stop at nothing to open the doorways to the fae realm.”
I stared up at her, not understanding. Fae realm?
“The fae realm,” Aileen reiterated, rolling her eyes. “The land of magic and creatures stranger than you and I put together. A thousand years ago, the doorways were sealed. Just like that.” She clapped her hands together, the sound echoing through the glade. “People and creatures were trapped on both sides. Who knows what’s happening over there, but here…” She shook her head. “Those parasites I told you about? They’re dying without magic, flapping around like fish out of water. That’s where we come in.” She made a slurping sound. “We’re fish food, Boone. Magic is the key to opening the doorways, but none of us have enough on our own. Together, though…”
That thing—the craglorn—and others like it were trapped and had resorted to killing, feeding, and sucking the life out of this world in a desperate attempt to stay alive. It had grabbed me the moment it sensed my magic. It had been desperate, its black eyes empty.
Aileen turned and stared at the hawthorn. “Who knows what horrors will come out of there if Carman gets her way. There are enough of them here already.”
Glancing at the tree, I began to piece together the puzzle. The craglorn had been scratching at the base of the hawthorn, and the only thing left behind was the hole it had managed to dig among the roots.
“The doorways,” I began. “They’re guarded by the hawthorns, aren’t they?”
“Aye,” Aileen said, some of the anger disappearing from her voice.
“Will they come now?” I asked. “Other craglorns?”
“I hope not,” Aileen replied. “The tree should still be strong enough to have dampened my signature, though this one is not long for this world.”
“The hawthorn has that kind of magic? I thought…”
“Of course, it does. All of them do to varying degrees. When the Crescent Witches were at the height of their power, they used them to hold their councils. Under the branches of a hawthorn, words are protected, doorway or no. As you know, there was a reason you landed underneath one the night I found you.”
Covering myself, I sat on the grass, my mind turning over. I felt sick to the stomach. Mostly because I’d betrayed the one person who’d placed their complete trust in me, but also because I was starting to believe I may have been targeting the hawthorn because I was also trying to go home. I had a human body, but I was a shapeshifter. What if this wasn’t who I was at all? What if under my skin was the stony hide of a creature like the craglorn? Was that why she didn’t trust me?
Aileen sat beside me, her gaze locked on the hawthorn. “Things are going to get a lot worse before they have a chance of getting better,” she said. “I’m not sure I can protect Derrydun on my own, let alone face Carman.”
“Aren’t there other witches?”
“There are, but they’re all in hiding. Who knows how to find any of them. If a witch doesn’t want to be found, then it’s near impossible to find her.”
“Can I help?”
She studied my expression for a moment and then sighed. “I’ve seen enough of your bare ass to last a lifetime. You had better flap away and find where you left your clothes.”
“But—”
“Roy will be wondering where you are.” She rose to her feet gracefully and approached the hawthorn.
While her back was turned, I changed back into a gyrfalcon and flew up onto a branch. I watched her examine the damage the craglorn had inflicted on the tree, but she never raised her head.
I flew off toward the farm, my heart heavy. I didn’t belong in the human world, and I didn’t belong with the supernatural. The secrets were starting to pile up, and I didn’t like it, not one bit. The creature, the truth behind who was stealing magic, the doorways to the fae realm, my hidden nature… What if I had something to do with it all?
Below, the farm came into view, and I spied Roy and his tractor crossing the far field, making for the yard. Reaching the spot where I’d changed, I landed and returned to my human form.
Lacing my boots back up, I began to feel a sharp pain in my back. The more I dwelled on what I’d learned, the more uncomfortable I became.
The Ten of Swords. Thinking about the tarot card I’d drawn my first morning in Derrydun, the more I believed its message.
Betrayed by a power that has no mercy or feeling…
For the first time since I began remembering, the sky was clear.
Sitting in the garden behind the cottage, I gazed up at the stars, studying the silver points of light. There was no moon, and it only made them shine brighter, the universe infinite compared to my insignificant life.
Wracked with guilt and worry, I hadn’t ventured inside. I could still see the craglorn in my mind’s eye, its hideous black eyes etched in my memory for eternity. Definitely not one I wanted to keep. My ribs ached, and I rubbed my palm against my chest. Maybe it was time to find somewhere new to live.
Behind me, I heard the kitchen door open and close.
“Are you coming inside, or are you going to sleep with the carrots?” Aileen asked, standing over me.
“The carrots seem nice,” I muttered.
She sighed dramatically and sat on the grass beside me. “I keep forgetting you’re a man and not a boy.”
I stared at my hands. “I’m not sure whether to be offended by that or not.”
“You may have forgotten your past, but you haven’t forgotten how to live.”
“But I’ve forgotten magic…”
A
ileen lifted her chin and peered at the stars.
“I spoke to Mrs. Boyle this afternoon,” she said after a moment.
I snorted. Old Mrs. Boyle, the crazy women who lived along the main road and scared away children who dared come too close to her fence with her broom. I knew there was anger in her, whether it was from a past hurt or something else, I didn’t know, but she seemed to tolerate my presence. I trimmed her hedges and pulled the weeds from her garden beds, then she handed me thirty euros. I couldn’t see what she had to do with any of my stupid decisions.
“I’ve never heard her speak so highly of anyone in my life,” Aileen went on. “What did you say to her?”
“Nothing,” I replied, wondering where this was going. “I just tended to her garden as promised.”
“Hmm,” the witch said thoughtfully. “When I was a girl, she frightened off a con man who was doing the rounds of the village. No one suspected a thing, and he almost took off with the life savings of a few residents. Before he left, he decided to tangle with Mrs. Boyle. I never knew what happened, but he ran off with his tail between his legs, and the local constable chasing after him down the road. The next day, everyone got their money back.”
“What does that have to do with me?” I asked sullenly.
“Mrs. Boyle has an impeccable eye when it comes to shady characters.”
“Did I come from there?” I murmured, placing my palms on the earth.
“Where?” Aileen sounded surprised I’d even asked.
“The hawthorn…”
“From the fae realm?” she asked, aghast. “Of course not. Why would you think something like that?”
I lowered my head, my unruly hair covering my eyes.
“Boone, like me, you’re human. The only difference is you were born with magic in you. That’s all.”
My shoulders sank in relief, but my heart was still heavy.
“There’s more worrying you,” she said.
“Do you trust me?” I asked straight out.
“Of course, I do. What kind of question is that?”
“If you do, then why didn’t you tell me the truth about the hawthorns? You could’ve told me everything, and I wouldn’t have…” I hissed and turned away. “I wouldn’t have forced you to reveal your magic to half the parasites in Ireland.”
“It is what it is.”
I couldn’t accept her answers. Everything she said came with ten different meanings. She explained her reasons yet left out everything that mattered, expecting me to be okay with it. Was it a witch trait or something more?
“Why can I help you?” I asked. “If the hawthorn isn’t strong enough to hide what you did today, then more of the things could turn up.”
“I’ve been protecting Derrydun for a long time,” she replied. “I know what I need to do, and you… You need to settle and come to terms with who you are before you think about becoming more.”
“But you said you might not be able to protect the village on your own.”
“Perhaps not indefinitely, but I won’t allow it to come to that. We are only human under all the supernatural, after all. I won’t force you before you’re ready, Boone.”
“I’m a full-grown man, yet I feel like a child,” I said sharply. “I don’t belong, I don’t understand, and I don’t remember. I can’t get past it. All these jobs I’ve been doing are just bollocks. A stupid distraction. I’m make-believe, Aileen. Even my name isn’t real.”
“Bollocks?” Aileen asked with a snort. “Mrs. Boyle can finally see her garden path thanks to you, and she’s a sight friendlier. It’s been a week and counting since she’s chased a child with her broom of doom. Roy values your hard work and likes that he doesn’t have to tell you what to do, that you just do it. The animals flock to you like bees to honey, and that farm has never run smoother. Mary is free to expand her business because you’ve taken over her deliveries and don’t charge her a premium. Everyone at the pub is happier, and all you do is wash dirty plates and glasses. You show Mairead a little kindness every so often, and now she doesn’t hate everything anymore and is nicer to my customers. And Sean McKinnon has been fifty percent less drunk since you’ve become friends.” She looked at me with a raised eyebrow. “None of that is bollocks, Boone.”
I scowled, and she lifted her hand and slapped me on the back of the head.
“Ow! What was that for?” I rubbed my palm against my skull.
“You’re being a selfish little toad,” she declared. “Boohoo, you can’t remember your past because someone locked your memories away and threw away the key. Toughen up, Boone. You’re alive, among new friends who actually care, and you’re safe. You made a mistake today. Am I angry? You bet I am, but we’ll get over it. Stop dwelling on the things you can’t change and worry about those you can.” She jabbed a finger toward the village. “Those people matter, and so do you.”
A wave of nausea swept over me, and I bowed my head. She was right. I’d retreated into myself, and all I could think about was the bad things that had happened to me. I thought I’d tried, but I hadn’t at all.
“Would you draw another card for me?” I asked, pulling at the grass.
Aileen placed her hand on mine to stop me destroying her lawn. “I thought you didn’t believe in them.”
I shrugged. “Perhaps I’m starting to convert.”
She laughed softly.
“Will you?”
“Tomorrow,” she said with a smile. “I think we’ve had enough excitement for one day, don’t you?”
Chapter 8
Staring at the giant amethyst cave perched in a glass cabinet inside Irish Moon, I fidgeted nervously. Its energy was doing nothing to calm me, especially when I could see Aileen’s reflection behind it.
As promised, she’d dragged me into her shop so she could draw me another card from her tarot deck. After the events of the last few days, I wasn’t sure I was ready to see what it said about me. The first card had begun to show its meaning in more ways than I’d been expecting, and I wasn’t keen on having my misdemeanors shoved into my face yet again.
“Are you ready, or are you more interested in amethyst?” Aileen called out from behind the counter.
Sighing, I turned and moved toward her as she shuffled the cards. As I sat beside her, she set the deck on the glass countertop and placed her palm over the cards before sweeping them to the side.
“You know the drill,” the witch said. “Pick one that calls to you, and we’ll see what it reveals.”
Reaching out, I allowed my hand to hover over the fanned out cards. The gold foil design on the backs sparkled as I moved until I finally felt my fingers dragged toward one end. Choosing my card, I drew it out and set it face up on the counter.
The card held the image of an angel with two chalices, a wave of water flowing between the two. The card was upside down this time, whereas the Ten of Swords had been the right orientation.
“Temperance but reversed,” Aileen said, announcing the name of the card. “Major Arcana this time.”
“What does it mean?” I asked eagerly. An angel didn’t seem as confronting as a man with ten swords stabbed into his back, and I hoped it was a good sign. I desperately needed one.
“It can suggest you lack a long-term purpose, and you feel unbalanced because of it,” Aileen replied. “I would say that was fairly accurate, wouldn’t you?”
Grunting, I nodded.
“You should probably focus on finding your happy place,” she went on, explaining the meaning behind the card. “Lack of direction and meaning is causing stress and may manifest as impatience, excessiveness, or reckless behaviors. In this instance, balance is the key to finding purpose.” She tilted her head to the side and made a face. “I can attest to the reckless part.”
Choosing to ignore her and not dredge up yesterday’s misadventure, I asked, “What kind of balance?”
Aileen shrugged. “It could mean balance in your day to day life, your ability to control and master your abilit
ies, even your greater purpose, or it could be a mixture of them all. It’s hard to say.”
“So, I should think about the message and what it would mean to my current state of mind?”
The witch smiled brightly and nodded. “See, you’re finally beginning to get it. Tarot isn’t so bad after all, right?”
“Temperance is about balance,” I mused aloud. In life, spirit, and my connection with who I was. The shapeshifter, the human, and my new identity as Boone.
“You’re out of balance now, but it doesn’t mean it’s forever,” Aileen declared.
“I have to find a purpose,” I said, scratching my chin. “Maybe helping people in the village is what I’m supposed to be doing…”
“You’re much stronger now,” Aileen said, watching me in that witchy way she had. Like she was seeing my aura or something. “Your confidence is growing. You seem to be forming an identity.”
I scowled even though I knew she was right. I wasn’t sure if knowing my past would have any effect on who I was now. That man was gone, and all that was left was Boone. He was who I was now. Boone, the jack-of-all-trades, the secret shapeshifter, the mysterious man of Derrydun.
Aileen protected me, mostly from my own curiosity, but I also fancied I protected her. At least, I could someday.
“You’ve got today off, don’t you?” she asked. When I nodded, she said, “Then why don’t you go out and take a walk or fly or whatever it is you do. It’s better than sitting in here all day.”
“I don’t mind.” It was true since the horde of crystals around us were so soothing.
“I do. You’re cramping my style.”
Raising an eyebrow, I stared at her.
“Every time you’re in here and a bus shows up, sales dip,” she explained, shuffling the tarot cards absently. “All the women are too busy fawning over the ruggedly handsome Irishman and not my stock.”
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