Nita snort-laughed as he blinked his light on and off. After all the ugly truths she’d been forced to face this week, this simple, harmless truth made her feel light and a little giddy. Fabricio had bluffed himself into making everyone think he was wildly valuable, when he was one of the most common unnaturals out there.
She just shook her head. “I bet you’re great at poker.”
“Because of my glowing personality?”
She rolled her eyes at the pun, but couldn’t keep the slight smile from her face. “Yeah. Sure.”
They entered the hospital room together. Kovit was reclining in his bed, arms lying loosely at his side, and staring pensively out the window when they entered. It had started raining, and the drops trickled down the windowpane like tears.
“Hi, Kovit.” Fabricio stepped forward.
Kovit turned to face Fabricio, and Nita was shocked to see a slight, genuine smile cross his face. “Fabricio? Why are you here?”
Fabricio gave him a self-deprecating smile. “I’m trying make peace with Nita.”
Kovit raised his eyebrows. “And she’s interested in making peace?”
“I can be reasoned with.” Nita crossed her arms.
“Yes.” Fabricio raised an eyebrow. “I just needed the right olive branch.”
“Exactly.”
Kovit laughed. “You bribed her?”
Nita huffed. Fabricio smiled a little and said, “Your words, not mine.”
“All right, then.” Kovit grinned. “What’s this olive branch?”
Fabricio explained about the lawyer, and then at the end pulled out a business card for the person he was planning to hire and gave one to each of them. Kovit was silent, listening, and his gaze was fixed on that small business card.
Fabricio finished, and Kovit bowed his head.
“Why?” Kovit’s voice was steady, but there was something underneath it Nita couldn’t quite identify.
Fabricio tilted his head. “Pardon?”
“Why are you doing this?”
He sighed softly. “Because you’re the only thing Nita cares about, and I have a vested interest in having her not want to kill me.”
“But I hurt you.” Kovit seemed to be struggling with the idea that someone could do something good for him when he’d done something so terrible to them.
“Thanks, I remember.” Fabricio absently rubbed his bandaged hand.
Kovit met Fabricio’s eyes. “Aren’t you angry at me? Don’t you want justice to be served and all that?”
“Not really.” Fabricio gave him a bitter smile. “And awful as this sounds, I’ve had worse.”
Kovit was quiet for a long moment, and then he said softly, “I’m sorry, Fabricio.”
Fabricio blinked. “Pardon?”
“I’m sorry I hurt you.” Kovit’s hands were clenched into fists on the hospital blanket, but his face was calm and his gaze steady. “I wish I hadn’t done it.”
Fabricio’s eyes were wide, and even Nita’s mouth was open a little. Kovit was apologizing to someone he’d hurt. Someone whose identity he’d erased in his mind to hurt them had slowly become a person to him, and eventually he’d felt regret. Nita could barely believe it. She hadn’t thought him capable of it. She’d thought it would break all his rules, break him, the way killing Henry had shattered something inside him.
But here he was. Apologizing.
She’d noticed the changes in Kovit since Henry had died, but she’d never thought they would lead him here. She wasn’t sure what she thought of it.
This apology was different than Kovit’s desperate pleas when he’d spoken to his sister. The tone, the action, everything had changed. Kovit hadn’t really regretted hurting that INHUP agent, he’d only regretted his sister found out.
Nita thought he might genuinely feel remorse about Fabricio.
“You don’t need to forgive me. That’s not why I apologized.” Kovit spoke quickly, as though he wanted to get this over with. “I just wanted you to know. I wanted to say it. And, if there’s anything I can do to make it up to you, just ask.”
Fabricio hesitated, and Nita’s eyes turned to him. This was all new territory. She had no idea how Fabricio would react, no idea how his reaction would influence Kovit. What had it taken for Kovit to make that kind of apology? What would it be like for Fabricio, who’d been brutally tortured multiple times in his life, to hear that?
The silence hung for a moment, everyone waiting to see what the others would do. Fabricio’s face was a careful mask, but she could see the decisions swirling in his eyes, conflicting emotions and thoughts battling together.
Finally, Fabricio took a step forward and put his hand on Kovit’s shoulder. “It’s okay, Kovit. I forgive you.”
Kovit’s eyes went huge. He looked so fragile in his hospital bed, so small and breakable. “Pardon?”
“I forgive you.” Fabricio’s smile was a little broken. “I know what it’s like to live in a cage. I know how things that should never be normal become normal. And even when you’re out, you fall back on old habits for comfort, just for the familiarity, even when you shouldn’t. You hurt people because that’s what you’ve always done. You lie because you can’t remember telling the truth.” Fabricio’s voice went bitter. “I know that better than anyone.” He pointedly didn’t look at Nita. “And sometimes, in that first while after you’re free, all you can do is make mistakes, do the exact things you were trying to escape from over and over, because you don’t know who you are and it scares you.”
Kovit hadn’t missed how similar Fabricio’s musings were to his own, and his voice was soft as he said, simply, “Yes.”
Fabricio stepped away. “I forgive you, Kovit.” Then he cracked a warped grin. “But don’t do it again, okay? I really didn’t enjoy it.”
Kovit laughed, a short, scratchy sound.
Nita suddenly had a terrible, dark thought, as she watched that bond of safety click into place around Fabricio, the same way it had for Nita, for Gold, for Henry, for Patchaya. The mental shift in Kovit’s mind that meant he’d never be able to hurt Fabricio again.
She wondered if Fabricio had only said those words to earn Kovit’s protection.
Fabricio was smart, and he was good at manipulation. He’d spent enough time with them that he could play Kovit like a finely tuned violin. And he had to know that Kovit wouldn’t—couldn’t—hurt people he cared about. Making a deal with Nita was just that—a deal. A deal could be broken. Nita could decide to betray him at any point.
But Kovit? Kovit would never betray Fabricio now. And he’d never let Nita betray Fabricio either.
Kovit awkwardly readjusted his blankets, trying to hide his emotions, and Fabricio turned to Nita, their eyes meeting for a moment. He gave her a small smile, not a smug smile, but a sad smile, a smile of recognition. He knew what she was thinking, he could see the question in her eyes, the angry demand, Did you manipulate him just to be safe?
But in the broken cracks of his expression and the grief in his smile, she realized that Fabricio himself didn’t truly know either. He’d lied so often and so long, had spent his whole life manipulating people, that even he didn’t know anymore whether he said things because he meant them or because they would benefit him.
In that moment, she pitied him, this sad boy who was so lost in his lies he couldn’t see the truth anymore, couldn’t understand what his own emotions were, had let them all be replaced by whatever person he needed to be in any given moment to survive.
Nita sighed softly and went to Kovit. She took his hand in hers and looked up at Fabricio. She would never forgive him for selling her on the black market. But she didn’t have to forgive him to leave him alone and move on with her life.
“Goodbye, Fabricio,” Nita said. “Let’s never meet again.”
He smiled softly and turned away, walking toward the door. “Goodbye, Nita. Goodbye, Kovit. Good luck.”
And then he was gone.
Forty-Four
AFTER FABRICIO LEFT, Ni
ta went to the nurses to get a wheelchair and told their guard they were going to go for a walk in the hospital garden. Nita wanted to talk to Kovit, and she didn’t want to risk the guard overhearing. She wasn’t even sure their guard spoke English, but that didn’t matter. She just operated on the assumption the room was bugged.
Nita helped Kovit into the wheelchair, and the guard followed as they made their way to the elevator and down to the first floor. Kovit was conscious and in control now, so even though the pain flowed into him from all sides, it was only rarely that the shaking ecstasy from other people’s agony was too much for him to suppress and he’d give a soft, low moan of pleasure, before they passed away from the patient out of range and he’d settle again.
Behind them, the officer shuddered every time he heard Kovit’s voice.
It was still raining outside, but part of the garden was covered. Nita politely asked the guard to give them some privacy, and he agreed, looking askance at Kovit. Nita ignored his looks and wheeled Kovit into the garden. The flowers were in full bloom, massive pink and purple blossoms perching on bushes and small white flowers in trees.
The rain washed a petal off a tree, and it fluttered softly to the ground under Kovit’s pensive gaze.
“Penny for your thoughts?” Nita asked, sitting on a bench beside him.
He blinked and looked up at her, eyes soft. “Just thinking.”
“About?”
“What’ll happen now.” He watched the rain fall. “Trials. Publicity. I’m never going to be anonymous again.”
“No,” Nita admitted. “Probably not.”
“And for the next while, the world will be watching. Even though I have Fabricio’s lawyer now, I’m going to have to be very careful. I’m going to have to behave like the person I’m pretending to be.” He made a disgusted face. “I’m going to have to be good.”
Nita burst into laughter at the horrified expression. “You are. No torture, no murder, no threats.”
He groaned softly. “Ugh. Really? Nothing?”
“Nope.”
“I could hide it.”
“There’s too many eyes on you. You’d be found out.” Nita smiled slightly. “You’re going to have to put on your tragic hero face and brood for the next few years.”
He sighed heavily. “If I must.” He looked up, toward the sky and grudgingly admitted, “Maybe it’s not such a bad thing.”
Nita tilted her head. “Pardon?”
“I wanted a way off the hamster wheel. I wanted a chance to force myself into a completely different life, just to get out of this toxic cycle. Well, there’s nothing more different than having to behave like a good person. None of my old habits are allowed. I’ll have to completely reform my image.”
She looked at him. “You’re not actually seriously thinking of becoming a good person?”
“God, no.” He burst into laughter. “Obviously, it won’t be real. I’d never actually be good. I like hurting people. Far too much to ever stop.” He shrugged. “But as long as I behave in a ‘moral’ way or whatever, no one’s ever going to know I don’t give a shit, right?”
Nita snorted. “True enough.”
“And . . .” He hesitated. “I need to prove something to my sister. To all of them.”
“What?”
“That I’m in control.” His voice was hard. “My sister thought it was lack of control that makes me hurt people. That I succumb to my need for pain in dark ways, like an out-of-control serial killer. But it’s nothing so excusable. I genuinely enjoy it. And I’m not going to stop.” His gaze was intense. “There’s a difference between not having control and hurting people because you can’t help it, and hurting people because you just don’t care. I don’t think my sister quite realizes how . . .” His smile turned bitter. “Well, to use her words, how ‘evil’ I am.”
Nita was quiet for a long time. “So you plan to not hurt anyone for the duration of the trial and public spotlight to prove a point?”
“Exactly.” He stretched languidly. “And then, the moment it’s safe, I’m going to find someone, and I’m going to make them scream in ways they never even imagined.”
He closed his eyes briefly, as though savoring the image, and Nita shuddered softly at the expression on his face, dark and hungry and terrible.
She forced herself to crack a smile. “And here I thought you were on your way to a cheesy movie redemption arc.”
He laughed, light and free. “Redemption? Me? Not likely.”
She smiled a little at that.
He turned to her and sighed softly. “This break will also give me a chance to update my rules.”
Nita’s eyebrows rose. “I thought you never changed your rules?”
“I did too,” he admitted. “But my rules were made in captivity, with very strict goals. And they haven’t been working outside of captivity. Killing Henry nearly broke me. I can’t be that fragile. I need to be flexible, not rigid. I need to be able to bend when circumstances change.”
“Like with Fabricio?” Nita hedged.
“It was more than that. After the video of”—he took a deep breath, and then, to Nita’s shock, said the name he’d avoided for so long—“Mirella accusing me came out, I realized that my rules weren’t protecting me anymore. They were keeping me blind to threats. I couldn’t even remember this girl, and now she’s pressing charges against me.”
He looked up and met Nita’s eyes. “Something has to change. I have to change.”
Nita was quiet for a moment, before asking, “Is that why you apologized to Fabricio?”
“Yes. It was . . . an experiment. I knew why he did the things he did. I pitied him, even though what he did to you is unforgivable. But when I pitied him, I started to regret worsening his life even more. I felt bad. So I apologized.” He took a deep breath, then let it out. “I made a mistake. I admitted it. And I didn’t break.”
Nita nodded slowly, understanding more than he was saying. He’d needed to apologize to Fabricio, to bend a rule, to see if he was truly as fragile as he thought, to take that first step into changing the way he worked. She only wished he’d decided to feel bad about Mirella, an innocent victim and Nita’s sometime friend, rather than Fabricio, the liar who betrayed her.
“No, you didn’t break.” She put her hands on his. “You’re stronger than you think, Kovit.”
He smiled slightly at that, and the two of them were quiet for a few moments, just watching the rain fall, glittering in the darkness.
“I imagine you’re happy about my new situation,” he said, looking at her from the corner of his eyes. “Less screaming.”
She winced. “Guilty.”
He was quiet a moment, and then asked, “Why do you stay when it bothers you so much?”
Nita was silent a long moment before she responded, words coming slowly. “I don’t like hearing what you do, but I don’t care if you do it. I’ve never cared that you were evil. I think a part of me even liked it, because I could pretend that you were more evil than I was, and it made me feel superior.” She sighed. “But the truth is, I’m just as evil as you, in different ways. It’s just taken me a long time to see it and admit it to myself.”
She raised her eyes and met his. “I don’t care about anyone in the world except those close to me. You could skin the fucking pope alive, and as long as I didn’t have to see it, I wouldn’t care. Because he means nothing to me, and you mean everything.”
His eyes flicked back and forth over her face, and then he reached out and linked his fingers with hers.
“Nita,” he breathed softly, “what could I ever have done to deserve someone like you in my life?”
“There’s no ‘deserving’ involved.” Nita smiled, sharp and sly. “Sometimes bad things happen to good people.” His expression of confusion was adorable. “And sometimes,” she continued, cupping his face in her hands, “good things happen to bad people.”
He stared at her a moment, then burst into laughter, breaking away from
her, his sides shaking as he laughed and winced in pain. When he finally stilled, he lifted his eyes to hers, his gaze soft and dark.
He raised a finger and traced the outline of her cheekbone, and she caught his hand with hers and wove her fingers through his so their palms were pressed flat against each other, linking them. She leaned forward so their foreheads were pressed together, drinking in the warmth of his body against hers.
They might both be terrible, and the world might want them dead, but they had each other. Sometimes, that was all that mattered.
Forty-Five
KOVIT SLEPT QUIETLY, his heart monitor beeping softly. Outside, the moon hung high in the sky, and the faint glow of the streetlights barely penetrated the darkness of the hospital room. The door to the room was open a crack, and Nita stood just outside it, in the hallway, bathed in fluorescent lights.
It was the middle of the night, and though the hallway was lit as bright as daylight, Nita was the only person there. The rest of the ward was fast asleep, and there were only a few nurses in this wing, most of them at the desk down the hall and around the corner, chatting. Nita had checked on them earlier.
She stared down at her phone, second- and third- and fourth-guessing her decision, trying to poke holes in it, questioning whether this was truly her best option. But in the end, however many misgivings she had, she knew this was the right choice.
Pride only got you so far. Nita wasn’t going to let hers keep her away from her dreams, or from her survival. She called, lifting the phone to her ear as she waited, tapping one foot against the floor in a small physical sign of her nerves.
Adair picked up on the third ring. “Hello?”
“Hey. It’s Nita.”
Static on the other end of the line, and then, “I haven’t heard from you in a while.”
“It’s been busy here. I imagine you’ve heard the news?”
“Hasn’t everyone?” A short pause. “How’s Kovit?”
“Stable. The doctors think he’ll make a full recovery, but it’ll take many months. They’re amazed he survived.”
“How did he survive, Nita?”
When Villains Rise Page 28