by Lily Zante
Maybe tomorrow I’ll head straight to the gym and do a short workout on my own. I fired the trainer but there’s no reason I can’t use the gym.
Today has been a good day. I need to shower and go to bed. Just as I’m about to leave my study, I see my plate lying on the table. It’s a habit of mine to leave things lying around. But for some reason, I pick it up and head over to the kitchen then stop.
The housekeeper sits at the island with her head in her hands. Her posture is slumped, she looks resigned. I seem to have caught her unawares, in an unguarded moment. She hasn’t even seen me, and I don’t want to interrupt her because she looks deep in thought. But I’m inside the kitchen now. I tiptoe over to the sink and set down my plate on the countertop. When I turn around, she’s looking at me.
“You’re up,” she says, sounding surprised.
“You told me not to wait up, but I couldn’t help myself,” I reply dryly.
She gapes at me in confusion yet seems a million miles away. “Your note,” I remind her. “You said don’t wait up.”
“Oh.”
I wait for her to ask me if I liked the quiche, or the salad, or anything else. I wait for small talk, only, she doesn’t say anything. She’s not her usual talkative self. She gets up from her stool and says ‘goodnight’ and leaves.
The next morning, something isn’t right. I think I’m coming down with something because my first thought of the day is to head to the gym.
As I pass by the kitchen, I contemplate having a strong cup of coffee and maybe a donut or two. I’ve still got some left over from the box Mari gave me. Writing is damn hard work. Some like bars of chocolate, some like alcohol. Me, I like a box of donuts.
I should hit the gym first, then I can reward myself with coffee and donuts. Having made that executive decision, I head into the gym but the sight which greets me is that of Mari, or rather, her upturned butt, high up in the air. I stop in my tracks. She’s in a V-shape posture, with her feet and hands planted on a mat and her face turned down. She hasn’t seen me, but I have a pretty good view of her. She looks good.
Her butt looks great.
She’s wearing a crop top and I can see the sheen of perspiration on her back.
Blood rushes from my head straight to my groin and I feel lightheaded for the few seconds it takes her to notice that I’m gawking at her.
She stands up immediately. “I wasn’t expecting you to be here.” The disappointment in her voice is hard to ignore.
My body responds to her in a way I am ill prepared for. Excitement darts through me. I want to say something witty, something that will detract from the way I look, something that will make her see me and not the blubbery loser I suddenly feel like.
“I ... I need to … workout,” I say, for once at a loss for words. She wipes the towel across her brow, and my attention falls to her thin and taut arms. I’ve only seen her in her work clothes, but the skimpy skin-tight cropped leggings and crop top reveal her slim and shapely body.
Standing in my gym shorts and t-shirt, I’ve never felt so self-conscious of my body before.
Or so turned on in months.
“Do you want me to go?” she asks.
“Go where?”
“Leave. If you’d rather have the gym to yourself.”
I would rather have the gym to myself, but only because I feel twenty pounds heavier than I should be and I don’t want her to see me. But since she’s already here, it would be selfish of me to tell her to leave. “Shouldn’t be a problem. It’s big enough for both of us.”
“I’ll get back to it, then,” she says, getting ready to get back down on the mat again.
“What was that?”
“Warming up,” she replies.
“That was warming up?”
“That was downward dog.”
“A downward what?”
“Downward dog,” she explains, tucking a stray lock of hair behind her ear. “It’s a yoga pose.”
I suck my belly in and try to get my belly button as close to my spine as I can, hoping that I can smooth out the curve of my paunch. She picks up her bottle of water and takes a huge gulp from it, still staring at me. She unnerves me. This is my house, albeit rented, yet I feel unsure of myself, especially here in the gym which isn’t my domain.
As she continues to drink, I stand there, unsure of what I should do next. I was supposed to do some push-ups, but given that I looked like a beached whale last time, with Trevor standing over me as I killed myself doing them, I decide not to put myself in such an embarrassing position, especially since she’s here.
I glance around the room, desperate to find something quickly that I can start using.
The treadmill.
Get on the treadmill.
I head over to that and set a speed that I can handle easily. Trouble is, she’s directly in my line of sight. Now she’s straddling a bench and drawing down the weights bar. My attention is drawn to her lithe taut arms as she pulls and lets go of it. I can’t help but notice her breasts as she brings the bar to chest level and pushes up.
If I’m not careful, she’s soon going to see the evidence of my arousal.
This is awkward.
Worse, compared to her, I’m so out of shape. A picture of her and Trevor laughing about me flashes in front of me. I hate being around people and I hate this most of all—being in the fucking gym, looking like an overweight loser.
I try not to glance at her, but I can’t help myself. I look away, trying casually to find another machine I can use that’s far from her.
I consider using weights. Giving a display of my strength, and then I wonder why the hell I’m even thinking of something like that. I would look ridiculous. No weights yet. Nothing too fast, and nothing that requires me to do push-ups.
I decide to use the vertical climber machine which Trevor said would be good to use. The beauty of this is that she’s not in my direct line of sight and hence won’t be the distraction she’s currently being.
I’m on it for about five minutes, thinking about my story and trying to plan what chapters I need to focus on later. But my attention is once again diverted by the sight of Mari on the floor, on the same mat again only now she’s doing push-ups. I can see her from the reflection in the mirror.
She makes it look really easy, too.
I narrow my eyes wondering if she’s doing this on purpose because I fired the trainer. They were both laughing at my pathetic attempts.
My body tenses. Irritated, I look at my machine display. I’ve barely done much, but I’ve had enough. I already hate using the gym but the housekeeper being here has pissed me off.
Just as I step off it, she walks past me with her belongings.
“Is that it?” she asks in surprise.
It’s the condescending tone in her voice that grates on me more than her fitness level. I can’t even lie and say I’ve been here longer than I have because she was here before me.
“I’ve figured something out,” I tell her, “For my story. I need to write it down before I forget.”
I rush out of the gym. It’s the fastest I’ve moved all morning.
Chapter Ten
MARI
* * *
That was a shock to my system, finding Ward in the gym. Even last night he startled me in the kitchen. That’s twice he’s popped up when I’ve least expected to see him. Either I’m lonely and reading the signs wrong, or he’s changed.
A little softer.
A little different.
Maybe he feels bad that he fired Trevor.
Maybe he’s making an effort to be nicer.
He seemed embarrassed to find me in the gym, but he also seemed uneasy. At first, I was startled when he showed up. This man is a stranger to me, and he could be a psycho for all I know, even if he’s a multi-millionaire best-selling author.
I should be afraid, based on his behavior so far, and yet I’m not. In the gym it was a sense of power I felt, not fear.
He
might be the master of my destiny in that he’s my boss but in its barest, raw terms, in the gym, Ward Maddox isn’t as brutal or as terrifying as he likes to think. I’m not sure if it’s because he’s unfit, or slightly paunchy. Me showing off and doing those push-ups probably didn’t help. Staring into Ward’s eyes, I felt jubilant, but when he left as suddenly as he had arrived, a part of me felt I’d gone too far.
I’m about to head into the shower when my phone rings.
It’s Rob.
Good, because I have a million questions I still need to ask him.
“What happened with Trevor?” he asks, before I get a chance to say anything. I was wondering when he would find out. I was wondering if I should be the one to tell him.
I tell him what happened. “Thank goodness you’re still there. For a moment I was worried that he might have fired you.”
I laugh uneasily. “I need this job. I can’t afford to lose it.” I figure that being downright honest, even if I sound desperate, is the right thing to do.
“Ward can shoot off with his mouth sometimes,” Rob says. “I knew he wouldn’t find it easy having two new people upset his routine.”
I hold my breath, suddenly afraid Rob’s going to tell me that it’s best if I also leave. “Trevor shouldn’t have said those things,” I reply, somehow justifying Ward’s stance. “He wasn’t being complimentary.”
“Ward’s never been in such bad shape before.”
“You’ll be surprised to hear that he was in the gym just now.”
“What?”
I tell him about the gym session just now, but omit the fact that Ward didn’t do much and didn’t stay for long.
“I’ll be damned,” says Rob. “At least something’s working.”
“He seems to be heeding your advice,” I add.
“It’s a shame it’s not translating over to his written work.”
“You’d be surprised. He said he needed to write today and that he’d figured out a few issues with the story.” I’ve suddenly become Ward Maddox’s biggest fan.
“Are you serious?” Rob asks.
“That’s what he told me.”
“He’s talking to you?” That Rob has asked this, is telling.
“We were in the gym together.”
“Together?” The guy sounds positively shocked.
“I was using the gym, I hope that’s okay?”
“Perfectly okay.”
“I need to do something. I’m feeling cooped up and there’s a lot to get used to.” Taking Jamie’s advice to hit the gym was good. My yoga session and workout has improved my mood somewhat, but I’m not sure how much of my elation is to do with feeling I’ve got some sort of power over Ward.
“Of course,” says Rob. “You go ahead and don’t feel shy.”
“Oh, I’m anything but shy,” I assure him.
Rob chuckles. “At least it worked. Getting Ward out of New Orleans and somewhere new worked.”
“I’d say he’s doing fine.”
“How is he with you?” Rob asks, and I wonder if I’m being tested.
“He’s … ok—aaaay,” I say slowly.
“Good. That’s what I want to hear. I can’t afford for him to fire you too.”
“Me neither.”
“I wish he hadn’t fired Trevor. He needs a personal trainer. I know Ward. He has highs and lows. I’d feel better if he had someone to come and push him more.”
A silence falls because I have no idea what to say.
“I don’t have time to look for a replacement personal trainer. Do you know anyone?”
Jamie comes to mind immediately. “I have a friend. He’s a fitness fanatic. He used to be in charge of the gym at the hotel before we both got laid off. I’m not sure if he’d be able to do it.” But Jamie is in awe of Ward Maddox. He’d definitely be hyped at the prospect of being his trainer. “He’s not a personal trainer,” I hasten to add, knowing that Ward might be a stickler for detail.
“If he’s a fitness fanatic, that’s good enough. Ask him. Tell him the money will be good. He only has to come every weekday and kick Ward’s butt, and try not to get fired.”
“I’ll ask him today.” I’ll ask to meet him this evening. I’m already looking forward to the idea of going out and having someone to talk to.
“Great.”
“And now that I have you on the phone, I’ve got a few questions for you.” Questions about my hours, and my duties and what sort of food I should cook for Ward. So far, I’ve been guessing and just getting on with things, and it’s working.
“Fire away.”
Rob informs me that Freya, Ward’s housekeeper in New Orleans, finished at six o’clock each day and had weekends off but would leave him food. This is more or less what I’ve been doing.
“Just be nice to him, and do what he says.”
“He doesn’t say much,” I reply. “He keeps out of my way. I was worried that he’d be a picky eater, but he’s becoming better as the days go on.”
“It seems you both have an understanding.”
I wouldn’t go so far as to call it that.
“Are you interested?” I’ve told Jamie about Rob’s proposal.
We’re in a bar, having a couple of drinks. There’s live music, and the place is busy. I’ve missed being in the world of people who are laughing and having fun. Ward’s house is deathly quiet. I’m not used to it, but then again, being a housekeeper is not my vocation. This is just a stepping stone, I remind myself.
“Working for Ward Maddox?” His eyes are suddenly animated. “Hell, yeah!” Then his face sobers up. “But you said he has a temper. That he’s weird. He fired the other guy.”
After running into him in the gym today, I feel as if I have a better handle on Ward. I’ve seen another side to him, and he seems more human. “He’s not weird. He’s just … awkward.” Brooding and miserable on a good day. Offensive and rude on a bad day. I intend not to have any bad days with him. “He’s used to his own space and he’s not used to dealing with people.”
“That sounds weird.”
“I thought you liked him!” I protest. I so badly want Jamie to take this job. For one thing, it means I get to see him every day and it will give me something to look forward to, a little company, a little humor, someone familiar. I also think it will be a good second income for him.
“His books are brilliant. I can’t believe you’ve never read any. Or watched The Attic.”
“I hate horror.” I lean forward across the table. “It’s only one hour a day and the money will be good. He’s not so bad when you get to know him.”
“You’ve changed your tune quickly,” Jamie says.
“I’m trying to sell him to you so that you’ll take the job.”
“You want me to take the job?” he asks, his eyes dancing with amusement.
“I need company. Ward writes all day. I don’t see anyone.”
“You want me to take this job on so that you’ll get to see me.”
He’s twisting my words, but in a roundabout way, yes. He’s not entirely wrong. “It will be like the old days. Kind of.”
He seems to be considering it. I want him to say yes because it’s isolating, and hard, being alone. Cooped up all day in that house, cleaning and cooking—it’s not that I mind it that much, as not interacting with people.
“At least I get to see you,” he says, lifting his beer bottle to his mouth. “It will be like old times.”
“Yes, it will.” I smile, because that’s exactly what I have in mind.
“And I could use the extra money,” he says, as if he’s trying to sell himself on the idea.
“We can’t whine about him, though. You don’t want him to fire you on your first day.”
“I promise to be on my best behavior.”
“It’s only for a few months. Rob’s desperate to find a replacement, so if you’re smart, you might be able to negotiate a good rate.”
“I don’t have your sob story. That’s
why you’re living there, right? Because you have nowhere to stay?”
“I mentioned that I was going to find a place to stay, and he made me an offer.”
“I don’t want any perks. Sorry.” Jamie puts his hand over mine and gives it a squeeze. “I shouldn’t have hit so low.”
I move my hand away and lift my cocktail glass. “It’s okay. This job means I’ve been distracted and I don’t have to think about Dale.”
“You still think about Dale?” He sounds annoyed.
“He was my boyfriend.”
“He cheated on you. Not once, but twice. He got someone pregnant, Mari. Why are you wasting your energy thinking about him?”
His tone startles me. I had no idea he hated Dale this much. I hate him too, but there are moments, lonely moments, when I lie in bed at night, and I can’t help but think of my ex and the good times we had. “You’re supposed to make me feel better.”
“I’m sorry. But I hate it when you lapse back into the past, Mari. It’s like you’ve forgotten what a dick he was to you. You deserve better.”
That brings a smile to my face. “I’m going to stay single for a while. I need to get my head on straight and focus on the important things.”
“That’s better. Focus on the important things.” He sets his bottle down. “Now tell me, what’s Ward Maddox really like?”
“You’ll find out soon enough. We won’t have to work for him for long, though it depends on how long it takes him to finish this book. From what Rob says, he’s been struggling with it.”
“His mom died recently,” Jamie announces.
“How do you know?”
“I read up about him. He’s a big deal, Mari. You’re working for the Ward Maddox.”
“So you keep reminding me. You sound like a crazy fan.” This guy has never been on my radar and I’m not in awe of his fame.
“He’s writing the third book in the Morbid Trilogy.”
I wince. “There’s a lovely sounding name if ever I heard one.”
Jamie tut-tuts. “That Attic was the first book, then he wrote The Dark Woods years later. The movie to that is coming out this year.”