* * *
Ilya felt an unexpected listlessness as they drove back home to the hills. Today had been a revelation for him in more ways than one. Not only had she opened up to him—which had been a gift in itself, even though it had opened a whole new can of worms—but she’d been the instrument that had made him face his own need to constantly be in charge and, more importantly, to learn when to relinquish control. She’d opened his eyes in a way he hadn’t believed possible. There was a freedom in trusting others—a lightness in his chest that had been missing for a very long time. That it was his arranged wife who’d introduced him to the concept was a complete about-face from the self-sufficiency he’d prided himself on for most of his life.
He was glad they’d stopped at her apartment. Not only because of the pleasure they’d found in each other while they were there, but because it gave him another window into Yasmin’s life. Her apartment was furnished comfortably but sparsely, with an eye for function rather than beauty. He doubted she ever had spent any more time there than absolutely necessary. In fact, there was so little of her in the apartment, aside from the occasional photo of an aircraft on the wall, that if he hadn’t known her as well as he was learning to, he would have thought her dull, boring, uninspired.
His body tightened on a memory of exactly how inspired she truly was as he remembered their lovemaking. No, her apartment was not a reflection of her at all. Unless it served as a reminder of her ability to compartmentalize her life. She was a conundrum, this wife of his. More at home in an aircraft than in a car. Happiest throwing said aircraft around the sky than making a house or apartment feel like a home. And there were so many more facets to her still to discover, he told himself as they turned into the driveway.
But opening her up, getting to understand her better, meant opening himself up more to her, too. Putting himself in the line of fire, giving her the power to hurt him. If that was the case, his rational mind argued, didn’t he have the power to hurt her also? He rejected the idea. Hurting Yasmin was not an option. But getting to know her better, to understand exactly what made her tick, that most definitely was.
Blaze greeted them exuberantly from inside his crate when they let themselves into the house. Ilya took him outside to do his business in the garden while Yasmin took the clothes she’d brought from her apartment upstairs to their room. She was back downstairs in no time.
“Hungry?” she asked as Ilya walked back to the patio with the puppy bounding along beside him.
“Ravenous. Someone gave me a workout today.”
“Aerobatics will do that to a person,” she answered flippantly.
“I’m not talking about the aerobatics. At least, not the ones in the air.”
Her pupils dilated and a flush lit her cheeks. For a few seconds they were both thrown back into the memory of the passion they’d shared. But then Blaze yipped, breaking the spell. Yasmin bent to give the puppy her attention.
“Hannah told me she’d leave a roasted vegetable salad and steaks for our meal tonight,” she said after giving Blaze a good rub that had him rolling onto his back in pleasure. “Do you want to do the meat on the grill?”
“Sure.”
It was all so normal, so domesticated, and he liked it. A lot. They walked into the kitchen together, the puppy trotting along beside them. This was the life he’d told himself he always wanted and yet never dared wish for. After his father’s death his mother had broken inside. She’d been completely rudderless without Ilya’s dad and, once she’d worked through the initial stages of her grief, she’d changed on a level that left Ilya confused and worried for her—both her sanity and her safety. She’d thrown herself into dating just about any man who showed an interest in her, once admitting to doing so because she had to find a way to light the darkness that losing her husband had left inside her.
He’d seen his mom go from a loving wife, a doting mother, to a brittle, insecure woman. Not being able to fill the gaps of what was missing in her had been torture for him. When she and her current boyfriend had been killed in a reckless driving maneuver on the 101, no one had been surprised. Devastated, yes, but not surprised. And for Ilya, it had been a horrible awakening. He hadn’t been able to save his father and he hadn’t been able to save his mother, either. He was under no illusion that his need to control the world around him stemmed from that year of sheer hell, which made this normality all the sweeter. Or would, if he could think of a way to tell Yasmin about his involvement in her past. That night had been a defining moment in her life—would she ever be able to not think of that experience every time she looked at him once she learned the truth?
As they were cleaning up together after their meal he heard Yasmin’s phone buzz on the counter.
“You gonna get that?” he asked, rinsing dishes and loading the dishwasher.
“Later.”
“Might be important.”
“It’s not a number I recognize. If it’s important they’ll call again.”
The phone stopped its vibration, then almost immediately started again.
“I’d better get that, then,” Yasmin said with a wry look on her face.
He watched her. She looked a little scared to answer the call. Maybe not scared, exactly, but apprehensive. She walked out onto the patio and after what sounded like some stilted pleasantries, he heard the tone of her voice change and become quite animated. She came back into the kitchen after a few minutes with a cautious smile on her face.
“This is awkward. I have a potential new client who wants to meet my husband and we’ve been asked out to dinner. I totally understand if you decline, given our agreement not to discuss our businesses in our marriage.”
“It was your stipulation,” Ilya pointed out carefully.
“Which you didn’t argue.”
“True. If I had, the wedding wouldn’t have gone ahead, right?”
She had the grace to look embarrassed. “Right,” she answered tightly. “Look, forget it. I—”
“Yasmin, relax. It’s a dinner. I think we can waive our rules this one time. It’s obviously important to you or you wouldn’t be asking me. When is it?”
“Tomorrow night?”
“Sure,” he said, wiping his hands dry on a towel. “We can do that.”
He saw her shoulders sag in relief. “Thanks. Um, you weren’t competing for the Hardacre contract, too, were you?”
He shook his head. Horvath Aviation had considered it when the job went out for bids, but he had heard rumors about the guy and he didn’t want to put any of his staff on the firing line should Wallace Hardacre make the type of inappropriate advance he was rumored to make. Yasmin obviously had put in a bid for the Hardacre contract, however, and he didn’t quite know how that made him feel.
Immediately his protective instincts surged to the fore, and he wanted to warn her about what Hardacre could be like. But then an insidious thought wormed through from the back of his mind. Somewhere he’d heard about a deal Hardacre had made with his long-suffering wife, Esme—that he would never touch a married woman.
Was that why Yasmin had suddenly put her single status in the hands of Match Made in Marriage? Had she married solely to secure a business contract? And if she had, where did that leave him if she won it—or didn’t? He was developing feelings for her that he hadn’t expected. But was she using him? Had he, through no fault of his own, simply repeated the mistakes he’d made in his early twenties?
Oblivious to the turmoil racing around in his mind, Yasmin made them each a mug of decaf coffee. She looked happy. Genuinely happy and completely relaxed. He hated that he had to question it and wonder whether it was because she was with him or because she was on the cusp of reaching some business goal. Suddenly her insistence that they never discuss business took on a whole new meaning. And he didn’t like it one little bit. But if she had her secrets, didn’t he also? And until he was ab
le to bare his truth to her, how could he demand the same of her?
* * *
Yasmin could barely contain her excitement as she got ready for bed. The dinner with Esme and Wallace Hardacre had gone extremely well and she felt certain that Carter Air was the Hardacres’ preferred carrier.
She’d had a moment of discomfiture yesterday when she’d wondered if Horvath had bid for the Hardacre contract, as well, but Ilya’s assurance they hadn’t lifted her heart and her hopes for Carter Air. Maybe now they’d have the stability they so desperately needed. She wouldn’t need to let any of her respected team go and she’d be able to pay her loan back in full. And the icing on the cake was the burgeoning relationship she had with Ilya.
The only fly in the ointment right now was those emails. Another one had come through while they’d been at dinner.
You’re not listening to me. Leave him now or everyone will know what you’re really like.
She’d seriously thought about blocking hisgirl but caution had stayed her hand. So far the emails had been empty threats—more nuisance than anything. Certainly nothing she felt she could take to the police. And did she want the police involved, anyway? One thing was certain: she couldn’t possibly comply with the demands. And even if she did what she was being told and left Ilya, what would that achieve for hisgirl? Was she standing in the wings, waiting to swoop in and take Yasmin’s place in his life? She shook her head at her reflection in the mirror. She had to hope it would all just die a natural death if she continued to ignore the messages.
Ilya was already in bed when she finished in the bathroom. She snuggled up to his back and put one arm around his waist.
“Tired?” she asked, her fingers stroking his bare belly.
“Yeah,” he answered.
His fingers closed around hers, halting her slow but inexorable movement down his stomach. She accepted the rejection without taking it to heart. Since that first night they’d made love, sleep had been low on their agenda when they’d gone to bed.
“Tonight went well, don’t you think?” she said softly against his back.
He grunted an assent. He really must be exhausted, she thought.
“Ilya?”
“Hmm?”
“Were you...?”
She struggled to find the right words, and when she fell silent Ilya sighed and rolled over to face her.
“Was I what?” he prompted.
“Were you going out with anyone before we got married? Anyone you were serious about?”
“No.”
His answer was short and emphatic.
“Oh.”
“Why do you ask?”
“No reason. Goodnight.”
He rolled back onto his side. “G’night.”
She lay in the darkened room and listened to his steady breathing. She was almost sure he wasn’t asleep. Something was bugging him, but what? When she thought about it, she realized he’d changed after she mentioned the Hardacres last night. In fact, last night had been the first night they hadn’t made love since their first time together. She’d put that down to the fact they’d sated themselves with each other at her apartment but maybe there was something else.
Had he been lying to her when he’d said Horvath Aviation hadn’t bid for the contract? No, surely not. It would have come out in the conversation at the dinner table tonight. Instead, Esme had talked about their wedding and the joy of being newlyweds, as if reinforcing to her husband that Yasmin was completely out of bounds. Wallace had been happy to discuss golf and the latest ball game results with Ilya. In fact, the conversation had been completely social—not touching on business at all.
So what had gotten under his skin? She wanted to know. Wanted to make it better for him. After yesterday and opening up to him about her college hazing, he’d been so loving, so gentle. And fierce, too, when he’d told her that none of it was her fault. She’d believed him, not only because she’d wanted to, but because she trusted him.
Trust was a fragile thing. Like spun glass. In the wrong hands it could be shattered into a thousand painful shards. But in the right ones, it could be treasured and loved. Was that what she was learning to feel for her husband? Love? She had nothing to compare the feeling with, but the way both her mind and her body reacted when she was with Ilya seemed to indicate that she was very definitely falling for him. It was more than she’d hoped for. More than she’d ever thought she deserved. And all because of him.
She shifted in the bed, trying to get a bit more comfortable, but it felt strange now to try to fall asleep without her limbs entwined with her husband’s.
She found herself thinking about her grandfather. He most definitely would have disapproved of this union, but he wasn’t here anymore. He’d been her guide growing up, but at her darkest moment she hadn’t been able to turn to him for support. She’d struggled through the worst time of her life on her own and had come through on the other end stronger and more determined to succeed without the help of anyone else. But sometimes, she acknowledged, she couldn’t do it all on her own.
She considered Jim Carter’s bitterness toward the Horvaths purely because he’d been the jilted lover. Alice had broken his heart and he’d built a lifetime of resentment over the fact, poisoning Yasmin’s mind about the other private aviation company and its owners from the day her parents had parked her on his doorstep. But Ilya was nothing like the type of man her granddad had told her he was.
You barely know him and you think you’re in love with him? She didn’t know if the voice in her mind was her own or an echo of her grandfather’s, and as it played in her thoughts she couldn’t sleep. Something had shifted between her and Ilya. Something she couldn’t put her finger on. Something wasn’t right.
Twelve
It felt odd to drive toward work together, especially with this awkward new invisible wall that had appeared between them over the weekend. They’d left Ilya’s Lamborghini in the garage, taking his brand-new Tesla, instead.
Ilya dropped Yasmin at the front door of Carter Air. He hadn’t rebuffed her attempt to kiss him as she’d gotten out the car, but he hadn’t exactly turned it into a fond farewell, either. Maybe it was because of the puppy, she thought, as she snapped a leash on his collar and undid his puppy seat belt harness to get him out of the car. Blaze had shown an unholy interest in the armrest next to him and the leather upholstery now bore a less-than-charming set of tooth marks. Ilya had not looked impressed when he’d seen the damage.
Or maybe Ilya was just worried about something waiting for him at Horvath Aviation and had switched into work mode already. She let the puppy go to the bathroom before taking him into the office building attached to Carter Air’s main hangar.
The moment Yasmin set foot inside, Riya shot out of her chair to envelope Yasmin in a massive hug.
“Welcome back!” the petite office manager gushed before stepping back to appraise her boss. “Well, well, well, marriage obviously suits you. Look at that glow!”
Yasmin felt her face suffuse with color. “It’s just a tan. I laid around the pool a lot.”
“Oh, sure, I believe you,” Riya answered with a giggle.
“It’s true,” Yasmin protested, then couldn’t help but join in her friend’s laughter. She looked around the office. “So, what’s new? What do I need to attend to first?”
The two women went into Yasmin’s office. Blaze flopped down in a corner and dozed off. Yasmin had taken him for a long walk earlier this morning, to burn off some of his energy so she’d be able to concentrate on work for a few hours, at least. Hannah had suggested leaving him at the house but she wanted to get the puppy used to a varied routine, which included having him learn how to behave at work with either her or Ilya.
“This courier delivery arrived just before you did,” Riya said with a massive grin and handed over a legal envelope to her boss.
Yasmin felt her heartbeat speed up. She recognized the name of the attorneys printed in the corner of the envelope. They acted for the Hardacres. She took a deep breath, opened the flap and shook the contents onto her desk. And there it was, the signed contract in black and white. Joy and relief competed for equal space inside her.
“We did it,” she said triumphantly, looking up at Riya with a big grin. “We got the contract.”
“That’s great news. I never doubted you for a minute. They’d have been crazy to accept anyone else’s offer. What a great way to kick off the week. I’ll let the team know. When do we start with them?”
“Friday,” Yasmin said scanning the letter that accompanied the contract. The signed contract, she thought with an inner shimmer of happiness. “They have a family trip to Palm Springs.”
“It’s a good thing we can fit them in, then, isn’t it?” Riya said with a wink as she headed out to the main office.
Bookings had been well down these past few months and the relief Yasmin felt was huge. She took her time to read through the contract again, her eyes lingering on the morality clause. Esme Hardacre had insisted upon it, partly to keep her husband’s wandering hands in check but also to act as a warning to anyone who looked at the charismatic motivational coach and speaker as fair game. Yasmin hadn’t balked at it when she’d bid for the business and had read the initial contract draft as part of the tender process. But now? Given the weird emails she was getting?
She pushed her concerns about the morality clause aside as something that would not be a concern. She’d met Esme’s strict criteria and she would continue to do so. That’s all there was to it.
Blaze sat up and barked, his nap quite clearly over.
“Wanna go and meet the team?” she said to the little guy, clipping his leash back on. “C’mon, they’re going to love you.”
Tangled Vows (Marriage At First Sight Book 1) Page 10