by D. J. McCune
The mood in the hall was darkening. Heinrich and Susanna were coming down the stairs, followed by Heinrich’s wife and children, including Alexander. Adam couldn’t help feeling sorry for him – and admiring him. As far as the Luman world was concerned it was his day. How long had he known that he wouldn’t be the one coming of age today? His cheeks were very red but he looked proud and determined as he walked beside his father and sister.
As Heinrich reached them, he paused and looked from Nathanial to Elise. He tried to smile. ‘I am so very sorry to have deceived you.’
Elise pursed her lips and looked at the ground. Heinrich’s face fell and Adam felt a flare of rage. How could his mother do this now, after everything Heinrich had done for them?
Perhaps Nathanial realised this. ‘It was a shock, old friend.’ He was struggling to find the words. ‘I think … you must have your reasons, even if I can’t see them.’
Heinrich smiled and leaned in closer. Adam was just able to catch his words. ‘I told you I wanted to bring a great storm before I left this world. And now I have.’ He squeezed Nathanial’s shoulder and moved on towards the doorway.
Adam looked from face to face, taking in the different expressions: anger, bewilderment, anxiety, hope. What were they supposed to do now?
Auntie Jo cleared her throat. ‘Well, I don’t know about you lot but I’m starving. Shall we go and eat?’
Usually the feast after the Marking was one of the highlights of the day. The girls and women would scurry off to the serving tables, unveiling dishes they had prepared at home and offering them to the men with smiles. Everyone would eat their fill and then the dancing would begin. The ballroom would be a whirl of music and colour, coy smiles from the unattached while parents kept a close eye on their offspring.
Tonight things were different, because so many people had left as soon as the Marking had ended. Instead of bursting at the seams the room seemed half empty. Behind the serving tables there were fewer girls than there were dishes. It seemed that some families had simply abandoned their food and gone home.
‘How could they leave?’ Aron was staring round the room, looking uneasy.
Auntie Jo was the one who answered. ‘They left because they didn’t want their daughters associated with what happened, in case it damages their prospects. And in case they got any funny ideas about getting Marked.’
Luc was biting his lip and looking uncharacteristically nervous. ‘But Heinrich’s the Chief Curator! They must know it looks really bad walking out on him.’
‘Maybe they don’t think he’ll be Chief Curator much longer,’ Adam said, thinking aloud. He cringed when he realised they had all turned towards him.
‘Can they do that?’ Chloe was wide-eyed. ‘Can they sack a Chief Curator?’
‘None of us are indispensable.’ Elise was terse. She turned to her husband. ‘It is best if we leave too. Soon. We will have something to eat and then we will go home.’
‘No.’ Nathanial looked grim. ‘Heinrich has been our friend for a long time. I won’t abandon him tonight. Whatever he has done, we will stay as courtesy dictates.’
‘He hasn’t murdered anyone!’ The words burst out of Adam’s mouth before he could stop them. ‘Seriously, you’re all talking like he’s done something terrible.’ He took a deep breath. ‘Maybe he hasn’t done anything bad! At school the girls all do the same as the boys; they do their exams, they get jobs, they go to university. What’s wrong with that?’
‘Our ways are not their ways!’ Elise hissed and to Adam’s shock he saw she was actually shaking with emotion. ‘We do not live as they do! And this is why you must leave this school if you cannot see that what Heinrich has done is wrong!’
‘No one else is getting Marked tonight, Elise,’ Auntie Jo said drily. ‘No one’s going to wrestle you to the ground and tattoo you. You’re perfectly safe.’
‘Do you think this is a joke?’ Elise rounded on her sister-in-law. Whatever uneasy truce had existed between them in the last few weeks was a distant memory now. ‘Do you plan to become a Luman because you never became a wife?’
Adam stared at his mother in shock. Had she actually just said that?! She knew as well as anyone why Auntie Jo hadn’t married: because after their brother’s suicide, her betrothal had been broken off, just as Nathanial’s had been. The difference was that Elise had ignored her family’s wishes and eloped with Nathanial; a rebellious side to his uptight mother that Adam could barely imagine. It was Heinrich who had married his parents. He had always been their friend. No wonder Nathanial wouldn’t abandon him now. All of this was supposed to be relegated to the past, but how could Auntie Jo resist blurting out the whole thing?
For a moment she seemed to be thinking about it. Then, as Adam watched, Auntie Jo took a deep breath in and out. ‘Not everyone was as forgiving as you were, Elise. That’s why I never became a wife.’
Elise pursed her lips and seized Chloe’s arm. ‘Come. The food must be served.’
Nathanial watched them walk away, apparently shell-shocked. ‘I’m sorry, Jo. Elise had no right to say that.’ He tailed off, realising that his sons were watching. ‘Let’s all just have something to eat.’
As they made their way to the serving tables, the three male McVeys and the younger girls joined them. Ciaron nodded at them and began talking to Aron. Adam hesitated, then slipped in closer to his father, hoping to overhear his conversation.
Uncle Paddy was grim-faced. ‘Well, this has set the cat among the pigeons for sure. Did you know what he was up to?’
‘I had no idea,’ Nathanial said softly.
‘They’ll ruin him, the silly bugger.’ Uncle Paddy shook his head, almost admiringly. ‘What the hell possessed him?’
‘I think he knows they won’t be able to do anything to him for much longer.’
‘He’s certainly going out with a bang, I’ll give him that. But Christ, why did he do it? It’s hard enough managing Caitlyn as it is. She’ll have my head wrecked after this.’
They were shuffling along the line in front of the table. Up ahead Adam could see his sister, standing stiffly beside Elise. Her face was pale and pinched but she was trying to smile as she ladled out some kind of casserole onto plates. Just before her, Auntie Orla was keeping a watchful eye on Caitlyn and her younger sisters. Aine and Sorcha looked cheerful but Caitlyn was glaring at every boy who came near her, as though daring them to ask for food. When a smiling Australian was foolish enough to do so she dropped a mound of champ onto his plate with a splat that flecked his ceremonial cloak with potato. He beat a hasty retreat while Auntie Orla leaned forward and hissed something into her eldest daughter’s ear.
As Adam drew closer she turned to him, eyes glittering. ‘Do you want some spuds?’
Adam grinned. ‘Only if you don’t make me wear them.’
She smirked and ladled a dollop onto his plate with a little more care. When she turned to Luc she smiled sweetly. ‘Champ?’
Luc arched an eyebrow. ‘I’ll pass, thanks. I’m gorgeous enough without you decorating me.’
They had no trouble finding a seat this evening. Even when the girls and women finally sat down to eat there were still empty tables. Chloe was allowed to sit beside Ciaron but instead of their usual easy chatter the conversation seemed stilted.
As soon as they had finished Elise suggested that they leave, only to be told firmly by Nathanial that they would be staying until the dancing had begun. Adam’s curiosity was piqued. The Curators were already moving towards the dance floor (Darian was steering well clear of Auntie Jo). It was traditional for the newly Marked Luman to help lead the dancing, having picked a partner first. Did that mean that Susanna would have to pick someone to dance? Judging by the anxious glances and murmurs as they moved back into the ballroom, he wasn’t the only one wondering.
‘Where’s your chick? The one from your Marking?’ Luc asked Aron. He was scanning the room, looking doleful at the reduced number of girls available.
‘Sh
e was here but her parents must have taken her home.’ Aron looked glum. He had chosen a pretty Indian girl as his dance partner. Adam could still remember her brilliantly coloured sari and the jewels in her hair. No wonder Aron was disappointed that she’d gone.
Music rang out from the front of the room. Susanna was standing there, still wearing the heavy ceremonial cloak. She looked very alone. Her father was beside her and he nodded encouragingly. She took a deep breath and walked towards a tall, blond boy, smiling in a way that suggested she knew him – but the boy’s mother suddenly moved forward, took his arm and pulled him away into the crowd. Susanna faltered and stood still.
‘That cowardly little toad,’ Auntie Jo said, loud enough to make people turn and stare. ‘She’s a beautiful girl and the Chief Curator’s daughter. Normally the boys in here would be killing each other to dance with her.’
That was probably true but there was nothing normal about this Marking ball. Susanna was glowing red, a deep blush staining her chest from her tattoo all the way up to her forehead. Behind her Heinrich’s face had darkened and Adam could see that the Chief Curator was angry. More than angry – he was furious. Whatever he had done, he hadn’t expected people to snub his daughter so publicly. Susanna was holding her head up high but her eyes were darting around like a hunted animal, looking for a way out. The band was becoming aware that something was wrong and the music was slowing down and the whole thing was awful …
So awful that suddenly, without planning it, Adam found himself moving forward. One foot stepped in front of the other and within seconds he was standing where the blond-haired boy had been. He looked at Susanna, who stared back at him in confusion, until he smiled. The relief in her face made Adam feel happy and sad at the same time. He had missed his chance to clap after Heinrich’s speech. He wasn’t going to mess up again.
Susanna cleared her throat. ‘Would you do me the honour of this dance?’ Her voice was small, like she was saying something unfamiliar – which she was. These were the words that Adam and his brothers had been trained to say.
Now he found himself struggling. What did Chloe say at this kind of moment? ‘Uh … yeah. That would be great.’
She smiled at him. Adam stepped up to her and took her hand, putting his hand on her waist. This bit was easy – it was just dancing, like he’d danced before at so many balls. Susanna was older than him, taller and pretty gorgeous and normally she was so far out of his league that he wouldn’t have ever found himself in this position, but now that he was here, he might as well make the best of it.
The dance floor was filling up around him. He tried not to look at too many people but he couldn’t help noticing that as Heinrich and Alberta danced past him they were smiling. Susanna lowered her head and whispered in his ear, ‘Thank you.’
‘No problem,’ he said, wishing it was true. His parents had just waltzed past and although he couldn’t see his father’s expression, his mother’s face was pale and set.
When the dance ended he bowed at Susanna and she curtsied. He almost suggested that he should be the one curtsying, then decided it was too soon for jokes. Susanna seemed relieved the whole thing was over. She murmured her thanks once more and then disappeared into the crowd.
Adam stood still, wondering what to do next. People were staring at him and most of them weren’t looking kindly. He felt a tap on his shoulder.
Caitlyn was grinning at him. ‘Since you’re doing charity dances, I thought I’d take pity on you. Want to dance?’
‘Not really,’ Adam said. When her face changed he realised how it had sounded. Quickly he stepped towards her and took her hand. ‘I don’t want to dance. I kind of want to get out of here.’
Caitlyn gave him a small, secret smile. ‘Funny you should say that. I know just where to go.’
Chapter 17
t wasn’t too difficult to slip away unnoticed. Outside the castle the air was cold and green with pine. Here, far from any big town or city, the sky was bright with moonlight. In the gardens Caitlyn kicked her shoes under an ornamental shrub and took his hand. ‘It’s this way.’
Adam allowed himself to be led across the lawn, jogging to keep up. As they reached the dark wall of trees at the end of the lawn he hesitated. He could remember looking out of an upstairs window at a never-ending forest. ‘What if we get lost?’
Caitlyn glanced at him. ‘Would it be so bad if we did?’ When he didn’t answer she sighed. ‘It’s OK. I know where I’m going. I’ve been here a few times before.’
They stepped into the shadows. Moonlight slanted into the spaces between the trees but he still couldn’t see much. Caitlyn didn’t seem to be having any problems and he kept hold of her hand, small and cool in his. It felt different from Melissa’s. He tried to ignore the ache this sent through him.
Caitlyn turned back to him. ‘There’s a kind of path. It’s hard to see but I can feel it with my feet.’
It felt like they were walking for a long time but it couldn’t have been more than a couple of minutes. The trees were still dense around them but up ahead it seemed brighter. Sure enough, a moment later they emerged into a small clearing. There wasn’t much there – a gazebo, a pond and a bench. Oil lanterns hung around the edges of the gazebo and Caitlyn dropped Adam’s hand and reached up to the eaves, searching until she triumphantly produced a box of matches. Adam watched her flitting from lantern to lantern, leaving a trail of light behind her.
When she finished she returned the matches to their hiding place and paused. They looked at each other across the clearing. It was Caitlyn who moved first, padding over to the bench and sitting down. After a moment’s hesitation, Adam sat beside her.
Neither of them spoke. Adam stared at the pond, silvery with reflected moonlight. Every so often the wind gusted, sending ripples through the water. Melissa would love this, he thought. Only she doesn’t want to be with me any more. And even if she did, I couldn’t bring her here. I couldn’t even bring her home.
He turned his head and found Caitlyn watching him. He shifted along the bench towards her. She leaned forward until their noses were touching. He almost stopped but her hair tickled his face and a rush of emotions flooded through him; loneliness, desire, curiosity. She pressed her lips to his and he froze, breathing in slowly, wondering at the strangeness of it. Melissa was the only girl he had ever kissed. He had kissed her so often that he knew exactly how her mouth felt and tasted.
He kissed Caitlyn back. Her mouth was soft and she smelled lovely. When his fingers brushed across the lace on the back of her dress he could feel skin underneath, warm and alive. It made him feel like he couldn’t breathe, especially when she kissed him harder. It should have been perfect. There was a full moon and lanterns and a deserted, magical place in the middle of a forest miles from anywhere, and it should have been the best moment of his life but it felt all wrong.
Caitlyn pulled away. He blinked at her. He was expecting her to look angry or upset but she bit her lip and studied him, considering. ‘That didn’t feel like I thought it would.’
Adam cleared his throat. ‘Have you kissed someone before?’
Caitlyn grinned. ‘Nah, my da keeps me locked up in a tower, waiting for a handsome prince to come and marry me. Of course I’ve kissed people, Adam. Have you?’
He nodded. ‘Yeah.’
‘Who?’
Adam sighed. ‘Just a girl I know. From school.’
‘Just once?’
‘No. Loads of times. We were going out for ages.’
Caitlyn’s eyes widened. ‘Like a girlfriend?’ At his nod she pulled her feet up onto the bench, tucking them under her dress, hugging her knees to her chest. ‘How did you get away with that?’
‘I lied.’ Adam felt tired. ‘I just told loads of lies. To my family and to my girlfriend. I lied at home about going out, to do work for school. And I lied to her all the time. I couldn’t tell her about anything. Sometimes I had to go on jobs and then I couldn’t see her and then I would have to lie some m
ore. That’s why she dumped me. She got tired of me bailing on her. I would have dumped me too.’ It was true. He couldn’t blame Melissa.
Caitlyn was playing with the hem on her dress. ‘It never works out.’ She looked over at the pond. ‘I met someone a couple of months ago. Ryan. People come on holiday where we live, because of the beaches and stuff. His parents had a caravan. I used to see him every morning and every evening when I was walking the dogs. And then the weather got bad and he went home. He gave me his email address and his mobile number but I chucked them away.’ She stopped and chewed her lip. ‘I couldn’t tell him I wasn’t allowed email. And what was the point in texting him? He would only want to meet up and I wouldn’t be able to.’
Adam shrugged. ‘You would be able to at first. But after a couple of months he would want more. He’d want to go out at the weekend and to come to your house to hang out. And then you’d have to start lying. And when you love someone you shouldn’t lie to them.’
‘Did you love her? The girl in school?’
‘Yeah.’ The ache in his chest was spreading all the way up to his throat, making it ache too.
‘Sorry.’ Her face was softer than he had ever seen it before. ‘I liked Ryan a lot but … I don’t know if I loved him. It must be crap. Loving someone and not being able to be with them.’
‘I hate being a Luman.’ He hadn’t planned to say it. The words were just coming out, free at last. ‘I hate it all so much. I just want to go to university and have a life. No Hinterland, no souls, no betrothals. Just normal stuff.’
‘I would love to be a Luman.’ Caitlyn sounded almost fierce. ‘You saw what Heinrich did. Maybe everything will change. Maybe I’ll be able to get Marked instead of getting betrothed.’
Adam didn’t answer. What was there to say? She had seen what happened inside. People hadn’t exactly jumped around celebrating. Even people like him who agreed with it hadn’t cheered along. The thought made him pause. Was it possible that there were other Lumen who had silently applauded Heinrich, once they had got over the shock? Would they support him down the line? The Lumen who had left the ball early had made their feelings clear but plenty of others had stayed. Surely they hadn’t all stayed out of fear or pity.