Jane eyed Nick warily. She had assured herself that he was just being friendly, but from the gleam in his eye as he stared down at the Christmas cracker in her hand, she wasn’t so sure. She untied the ribbon around it and rolled out the paper within.
Jane, it read. I wish you a very happy Christmas — now and always.
She let out an exhale, before Nick winked at her and returned to the kitchen for the next course. He had been lovely helping her. Duncan had offered as well, but had been more hindrance than help for he had no idea what to do — and besides that, whenever he was around, she forgot what she was supposed to be doing, so it was better off that he be across the table next to little Amelia.
She had nearly fainted away at Amelia’s question. Her little voice had carried across the room, and Jane had remained as frozen as everyone else as she awaited Duncan’s answer. He, however, hadn’t said a thing.
And why should he? She had never asked for nor had he ever promised a declaration of love or a future together. She glanced up at him now. While everyone else exchanged Christmas crackers and had given each other gifts earlier in the evening, Duncan sat there alone, with nothing.
With the set of his jaw and the kilt he had insisted on wearing throughout the day — likely in silent protest — he was a man adrift, and Jane longed to cross the room and join him, even though she had no idea what her reception would be.
But far more pressing was that Mary had run from the room — alone.
Once she had returned the trays to the kitchen, instead of then taking her place at the dining room table, Jane took the stairs, seeking out Mary. Something was amiss, although why Mary was hiding it, Jane had no idea.
She entered the room without knocking, figuring that now was not the time for politeness.
Mary was sitting in front of her vanity, painting rouge on her cheeks.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing.”
“You’re trying to hide your paleness.” Jane crossed her arms over her chest.
Mary sighed, turning around and standing before practically waddling across the room toward Jane, although despite her efforts, Jane couldn’t help but notice the bend to her back.
“I’m fine,” Mary said, although when she placed a hand on the wall as she walked, it became clear she was lying.
“Mary—”
“Dinner is almost over, Jane,” she said abruptly, pushing past her and out into the corridor. “Let’s just finish this.”
Jane helped her sister down the stairs, but when they reached the bottom, she found that the family was already helping themselves to the plum pudding.
Nick walked over to her, concern on his face.
“It’s clear that Mary is not well,” he said quietly. “We will finish here and then leave. Will you keep us apprised of anything that occurs?”
“We will,” Jane promised, then took a breath before turning to him. While she was aware that Billy’s mother had her own expectations regarding Jane and Nick, she must put a stop to this before it began. “Nick—”
“I know,” he said with a surprising quirk of his lips. “You’re in love with the McDougall, and there can never be anything between us.”
Jane’s eyes widened. “How did you—”
“It’s fine,” he said, before leading her even deeper into the corner, where she was practically hidden between his body, the wall, and the Christmas tree. “Can you keep a secret, Jane?”
“Of course,” she said, looking up at him expectantly.
“You and I, well, we would never be anyway,” he said with a small smile. “I will never take a wife.”
“You won’t?” she asked, astonished. He would make the perfect husband, of that she was certain. If she hadn’t come to know Duncan, then she might have been interested in him, for she never would have known the intense attraction that could exist between two people.
“I will not,” he said, before speaking slowly, “A wife is not my preference.”
“What do you mean?” she asked, furrowing her brow. “I thought—”
She stopped, suddenly realizing just what he meant. It was astonishing and yet… illuminating at the same time.
“Well,” she said slowly. “I wish you the most luck in the world.”
“The same to you,” he said, before surprising her with a quick kiss on the forehead. “Happy Christmas, Jane.”
“Happy Christmas, Nick,” she said, watching him walk away as he began to gather up his family, encouraging them all to find their presents and make for the door.
“The snow is getting thick,” Billy announced as he pushed the curtain back to look out the window. “I’ll help see Mother home.”
“Not to worry,” Nick said, “I can do so.”
“Harriet needs you,” Billy said, motioning to one of their sisters, who had lost her husband a few years prior. “I’ll escort Mother.”
“Very well,” Nick agreed.
“It will not take long,” said Billy to Jane, although Jane noticed the worried glance he tossed Mary’s way. “I suppose McDougall is here in case anything is required.”
“I’ll look after her,” Jane promised, walking over to him and placing a hand on his sleeve. She had no idea where Duncan had gone off to, but she supposed he would reappear at any moment.
Which was, for once, a very reassuring thought.
Chapter 14
Duncan made it about halfway down the road before he paused and glanced behind him. The little house looked as cozy as ever, its red brick just visible through the swirling snow while the chimney smoked puffs of white. He thought of Jane within and the Miller family, all comfortable and warm. No one had likely even noticed yet that he’d gone.
Jane would be fine, he reasoned. He had left her a note, explaining that he had been wrong in remaining in London, waiting for her to return with him. He would travel back to the Highlands, and when she was ready, she could come join him, or he would return and collect her, but he couldn’t stay in London any longer.
If she chose to stay to be with someone like Nick instead… well, so be it. It might be better for all involved.
When he looked back, he noticed that, rather oddly, the light emanating from the front windows had dimmed, as though many of the candles had been snuffed out. That was odd, he reasoned. When he had left the room to pack his bags, the family had still been enjoying the gaiety of the festivities. He had escaped out the back of the house so that no one would see him leave but, come to think of it, he had no longer been able to hear the family.
And one could always hear the Millers.
Duncan paused, unsure of whether he should go back and ensure all was well, or continue on to the rented house, where he would stay for the night before searching out the train schedules to return to the Highlands.
Ultimately, the decision was made for him when Jane stepped out in front of the house and called his name.
“Duncan!” she cried rather desperately, “if you are out there, could you return? Please?”
Duncan didn’t even take time to think on the request — his heart chose for him, as he was down the street and back in front of the house in seconds.
“What’s wrong?” he demanded as he climbed the steps, but Jane was already within. Duncan threw down his bag and followed her, but it was already quite obvious as to what was amiss.
“It’s Mary,” Jane said hurriedly, not even looking at him. “She’s gone into labor. Billy’s family left not long ago to return home, and Billy escorted his mother while Nick was taking his sister. With the weather as it is, they should hopefully return within the hour, but Mary’s contractions are coming rather quickly.”
Jane’s words were calm, but Duncan could hear the concern in her voice.
“Duncan, I don’t… I don’t know if I can do this – alone, without a midwife or a physician. I—”
“Jane.” He caught her hands in his. “You will be just fine. You are the best person your sister could have wi
th her right now. What do you want me to do?” he asked, and she gripped his hands, squeezing them tight.
“I’ve sent Abigail for the physician, although this being Christmas and all, I have no idea if he will come, nor how quickly,” she said. “Mary is upstairs, and I must get back to her as soon as possible. Will you boil water and find towels in the closet?”
Duncan nodded, watching as Jane hurried up the stairs, throwing an apron over her dress as she did so. He sighed as his heart hammered in his chest. He had never had anything to do with the birth of a baby, unless one counted the animals in Galbury’s stables and sties. He supposed that could be of some help, although he had faith that Jane had all well in hand.
He did as Jane bid, hoping that he was preparing everything as she needed it. He hurried up the stairs, pausing in front of the door at Mary’s long moans within. He swallowed hard, deciding right then that no matter what anyone said, women were much stronger creatures than men would ever be.
“Jane?” he called, wishing he could leave everything at the door, but the water he had boiled over the stove was likely too heavy. “Should I come in?”
“Yes, please,” she said, before resuming the low murmuring to her sister as he stepped through the door. Fortunately, Mary was currently well covered, and Duncan followed Jane’s pointed finger to set down the items beside her.
Jane sent him out once more, to the nursery down the hall to find more blankets. He nodded, relieved for another task, but when he got to the nursery, a flood of emotion punched him in the gut, and he had to pause for a moment to look around. A cradle sat in the corner, with a blanket hanging over the edge. A change table and a little rocker were on the opposite side of the room, while a few little dolls and toys had been placed in a basket near the corner. Mary had already apparently collected some clothes for the child, which were laid out in a basket.
He took a long inhale as he attempted to catch hold of his breath. It wasn’t that he was suddenly wishing he was the man who was fathering Mary’s baby. Instead, it was the thought of a room like this at Galbury, with Jane as the woman who would be sitting in the chair rocking a baby in her arms. He could picture her now, looking up at him lovingly, with that same expression that Mary and Billy wore on their faces when they looked at one another.
He would have assumed that such a thought would only frighten him, but instead, for the first time in his life, it warmed him right through. He met it with anticipation, and he knew now what he must do.
Running from London — and from Jane — would accomplish nothing. Instead, he had to stay, and fight for her love, the love he didn’t think he could live without any longer. He could only pray that she felt the same.
He lifted the blankets and raced back down the hall, finding that Mary’s moaning was louder than ever until it became a scream. Perhaps he didn’t want Jane to ever go through this, he reconsidered. He would be content for the two of them to live out their days with only each other for company and love. It would be more than enough for a man like him, who had never known the companionship of a sibling.
“Jane?” he called as he raced through the doorway, although he was tempted to turn around and run back the other way at the sight in front of him. Jane still had a blanket over Mary’s knees, but her hands were beneath it, as she was slowly crooning to her sister, whose hair was wet with perspiration as her hands fisted the sheets on either side of her.
“Jane!” Mary yelled out now, “Get this baby out of me, and get it out right now!”
As Duncan moved to the side of the room, Jane lifted the blanket to better see, and in a gentle voice that was, at the same time, loud enough for Mary to hear her, she encouraged, “That’s it, Mary, you’ve got this. Ready? One, two, three, push!”
Mary complied with a scream and Duncan could only stand there with a hand over his mouth and wide eyes. He should not be here, he suddenly realized. Not at all. He began to back out of the room slowly but just as he did, something slammed into his back and propelled him forward once more.
“Mary!”
Thank God. Billy was here. He rushed over to Mary’s side, taking her hand as suddenly Jane gave out a cry of exaltation, and Duncan let out a breath of relief as he realized the baby must have been delivered.
“Duncan?” Jane called out to him, “Will you please pass me more towels?”
He did as she bid, and soon Jane had passed the baby over to Billy.
“A boy,” she said with a smile, and Billy nodded, seemingly unable to say anything, likely due to the tears that were coursing down his cheeks.
Suddenly Mary gave another shout of pain, and Jane looked to her in alarm that scared Duncan in turn.
“Mary?”
“It hurts again, Jane,” she moaned. “Oh, so much.”
Mary let out a scream, and when Jane looked at Duncan helplessly, he realized that this was likely beyond her scope of knowledge. They needed the physician, and they needed him now.
“It’s all right, Mary,” Jane said, although this time she was far from convincing. She reached up and began touching Mary’s stomach, when suddenly she gave out a soft cry of exclaim.
“Oh, Mary!” she said, turning to Duncan with a wide grin on her face. “You’re experiencing more contractions — there’s another baby coming!”
Mary and Billy just stared at her in astonishment for a moment before Jane cried out “Push!” once more, and soon Mary was doing just that. Duncan forced himself into action, preparing more towels and blankets, and soon enough there was another baby — and this time, he found the baby — a girl — within his arms. He stiffly cradled the tiny little child, terrified that he was going to drop her, as Jane helped Mary deliver the afterbirth and began to clean away the soiled linen.
Duncan stared down at the crying little ball, his heart near to bursting with affection for this baby that no one had even known existed until seconds ago, as well as pride for Mary and for Jane, and a love for Jane beyond anything he had ever experienced before.
He looked up, meeting Mary and Billy’s own expressions of love before he crossed the room and laid the infant in Mary’s arms.
“Here,” he said gruffly, nearly fumbling the exchange, but she just laughed lightly as tears rolled down her cheeks.
“Thank you, Duncan,” she said, before looking across the room at Jane, who was walking toward her with a wet cloth to wash her brow. “And thank you, Jane. For everything. I could never, ever, have done this without you.”
The sisters touched their foreheads to one other’s as they cried a few tears of joy, and Jane had the opportunity to hold the two little babies.
Finally, she stepped back, and nodded her head out of the room. Duncan followed her out as she shut the door gently behind her.
“We’ll give the new family a moment together,” she said as they descended the stairs, before she collapsed into an overstuffed sofa before the fire, which was now the only light in the drawing room besides the candles on the tree, which were still lit, for the most part, although wax was beginning to drip from them and onto the evergreen branches. She looked up at Duncan with some hesitancy.
“Thank you, Duncan,” she said. “I will never forget what you did today.” She paused, her eyes wide and soulful. “But… where were you going?”
He sighed. He supposed there was nothing to do but tell the truth.
“Home.”
“Oh,” she said, seeming to sink deep into the cushions. “Home — to the Highlands?”
He nodded.
“Yes,” he said, swallowing hard at the dismay that swam in her eyes. He sat down next to her, lifting her now cold hands into his lap. “I must apologize, Jane. I made assumptions, and I was a fool.”
She lifted her brilliant blue eyes to his. “Assumptions such as?”
He looked away from her for a moment, toward some of the paper ornaments that covered the tree. He smiled at the one Amelia had made for him. Already forgetting his reservations of just an hour ago, he wond
ered if he would ever have a daughter of his own.
“I’ve never been much of a… reasonable man. I have more faults than I could even name. You are the best woman — the best person — I have ever met, and I have not treated you as well as I should have. Tonight, when I saw, once again, how well you and Nick got along, how you enjoyed one another and worked as a pair, how he knew what you needed… I thought it might be best if I give you space to decide what you truly wanted — me, or if you would prefer an Englishman, as your sister did.”
“Oh, Duncan,” she said, tilting her head to the side as she looked at him. “I never thought about how Mary—”
He held up a hand.
“I realized something tonight, however,” he said, gritting his teeth together as he looked at her, praying that he would find the right words to convey all that he felt deep within him. “I love you, Jane, and despite my faults, I promise that I will spend the rest of my life doing all I can to ensure that you know just how deeply you are loved. I will provide you with whatever you need, and be there any time you call. I am not perfect, but I will be the perfect man for you.”
He knelt in front of her now, bringing her hands to his lips, noting the tears swimming in her eyes, and his chest ached as he looked up at her imploringly. “Will you have me, Jane? Will you be my wife, and spend the rest of our days together, whatever that might mean?”
She leaned down, cupping his face within her hands, which had warmed from his own overtop of them.
“If you thought I would say differently, Duncan, then you are a fool,” she said, softening her words with a smile, “for I love you more than I ever could another and I will marry you and live with you wherever we choose to make home.” She bit her lip. “Although I dearly wish that was back in the Highlands. London is lovely, but it certainly isn’t home.”
He let out a bellow of glee before he reached up and lifted her into his arms, swinging her around in a circle as his heart seemed to burst in an explosion of happiness unlike anything he had ever known. This perfect, wonderful, beautiful woman loved him.
Now he had to make good on all his promises, and be the man worthy of her.
Duncan’s Christmas: The Victorian Highlanders Prequel Page 10