by Lisa Jackson
“Why do you do this to me?” he whispered hoarsely, as if he were angry with the world. He still held her breast, but now his body was pressed against hers and he was breathing in deep, trembling gulps of air.
“Do…do what?”
“Torture me.”
“I don’t—”
“Oh, hell, sure you do! You’ve got to know it! I’m crazy when I’m around you.” With his free hand he reached up and tilted her chin so that she was forced to look into his eyes, then slowly, deliberately, he circled her nipple with his other hand, gently rolling the taut bud in his fingers.
Nadine could barely breathe. Her diaphragm pressed hard against her lungs. His hips were snug against hers and his hardness was forced deep against her midriff. “You’re all I’ve thought about for days,” he admitted. “I want you, Nadine,” he said simply. “And I can’t have you.”
She wanted to ask why, but knew the answer deep in her heart. He was the rich kid, the boy who was used to taking anything he wanted, and she was a poor girl whose father worked for his, a nobody, and therefore off-limits.
“Nadine?”
“Oh, God, that’s Ben,” Nadine said with a gasp as she pushed herself away from him.
“What is it with your brother? Doesn’t he trust you?”
She glanced back at Hayden and flipped her hair away from her shoulders. “I think it’s you he doesn’t trust.”
Hayden’s eyes narrowed. “He’s smarter than I gave him credit for.”
She looked back to the dance, the torchlights being lit, the streamers and balloons and Sam, standing a little less steadily, laughing with a group of his friends. Ben was walking crisply along the path leading toward them and if it weren’t for the fact that Patty Osgood called out to him, he would have surely discovered his sister with Hayden.
“I want to come with you,” Nadine said impulsively, and for a second, the ghost of a smile played upon his lips. He reached for her hand, then dropped it quickly.
“Forget it.”
“But you invited me—”
Hayden stared at her so hard, she didn’t dare say a word. “I want nothing more in the world than for you to climb into that car and go home with me,” he said, shoving a handful of dark hair from his eyes. “But it would only get you into trouble again.”
“I don’t care.”
“Your brother—”
“It’s none of his business what I do!” she said indignantly.
“But your parents?”
“They’ll never know if we come back quickly.”
He hesitated, then let out his breath in a whistle. “You’re not making this any easier, you know. Besides, what about your…‘friend’?”
“I don’t owe him anything.”
“You came with him.”
“I came with my folks.”
“You know what I mean.”
She did, of course. But she’d risk hurting Sam’s feelings to be with Hayden. “It’s okay.”
He shook his head, though reluctance shone in his eyes.
“Hayden,” she said, her voice throaty, “I want to be with you. Maybe it’s a mistake, but if you want to be with me, then—” Impulsively she wound her arms around his neck and he groaned.
“You don’t know what you’re getting yourself into.”
“Tell me.”
He squeezed his eyes shut, as if closing out her image would push her from his mind, as well. “Nadine, don’t—” He started to untangle her arms. Startled, she looked into his eyes and he moaned loudly. “I don’t want to hurt you.”
“You won’t,” she said. “I won’t let you.”
“Promise?” His face was so close she saw the tiny lines at the crinkle of his eyelids and inhaled the very essence of him.
“Promise.”
His mouth captured hers and he gently tugged, pulling her lower lip into his mouth and touching it with his tongue. Liquid warmth rippled through her blood and her joints suddenly seemed to melt.
Hayden’s tongue plundered and explored; his hands were hard and anxious, and she felt him tremble as he finally lifted his head and buried his face in her hair.
“What the hell am I going to do with you?” he ground out, his breath ragged and torn. “Just what the hell am I going to do with you?”
“Trust me.”
The smile he flashed her was positively wicked. “I don’t think either one of us should trust the other. And I know you shouldn’t trust me. God, Nadine, I—This isn’t going to work.”
“I want to be with you,” she said desperately.
His eyes searched her face and he smiled a little, though reluctance still shone in his gaze. “Meet me later.”
“Nadine?”
Ben’s voice again!
She froze. “Later?” she asked Hayden, desperate to see him again. Curse her brother for interrupting them. “But how—”
When he didn’t answer, she stepped closer, surprised at her own boldness. She touched him lightly on the shoulder and he closed his eyes and gritted his teeth. “Where?”
“Don’t—”
“Where?” she demanded.
He held her close and kissed her, appearing to accept their fate. “At the lake. Tomorrow night,” he finally said, then turned and disappeared into the darkness. “In the lagoon where we were before.”
Nadine shivered as he left. She rubbed her arms and wondered if she’d have the nerve to meet him again. What did she know about him? He was rich. He’d never known the meaning of want. He didn’t have much respect for his father. And she lost all sense of reason when he kissed her.
She was acting like a ninny. She was no better than Patty Osgood or Trish London. But she couldn’t help herself. Hell could freeze over and Nadine knew that tomorrow night she’d be waiting for him. At the lake.
* * *
THE AIR WAS thick and heavy, the sky hazy for the Monroe Sawmill Company picnic. Unlike the day before, all the food and beverages were catered and served by a firm from Coleville. Compliments of Garreth Monroe.
A whole pig roasted upon a spit, and cloth-covered tables were arranged under a huge tent, where salads cooled in trays of crushed ice, and a huge electric freezer was churning homemade ice cream to top fresh strawberry shortcake.
Despite the threat of thunderstorms, the mood of the employees of the sawmill company was carefree. Laughter and conversation floated on the air tinged with the acrid scents of cigarette smoke and sizzling pork slathered in barbecue sauce.
Blankets were spread upon the grass and sunbathers soaked up rays while children splashed in the roped-off area of the lake and older kids swam farther out.
Nadine’s entire family attended. Her mother, sipping iced tea, sat at a table and gossiped with other wives of the mill employees. George Powell threw horseshoes with some of his friends. They talked and laughed and sipped from cups of beer drawn from a large keg.
Kevin swam with the younger men he worked with and Ben linked up with Patty Osgood, who had come as a guest of one of the foreman’s daughters.
The muggy air was cloying, and sweat collected on Nadine’s skin as she sat on a blanket next to Sam. Her eyes, hidden behind dark glasses, continually scanned the crowd for Hayden. She knew she was being foolish, but she couldn’t stop herself from searching the groups of people. Surely he would attend. His father was here, glad-handing and acting just like one of the men who worked for him. He pitched horseshoes, downed beer and told off-color jokes with his employees. Dressed in crisp jeans and a polo shirt, he squired his wife, Sylvia Fitzgerald Monroe, through the tents and games. Hayden’s mother managed to smile, though no light of laughter lit her cool blue eyes. Her silver-blond hair was coiled into a French braid at the back of her head and the nails of her fingers were painted a du
sty shade of rose, the same color as her jumpsuit. A delicate scarf was pinned around her neck and diamonds winked at her earlobes.
Hayden was nowhere in sight.
Nadine tried to hide her disappointment and pretended interest in a game of water volleyball, but she wished she’d catch a glimpse of him.
“You’re still mad at me,” Sam said, touching her arm.
“I’m not mad.”
“Just because I tied one on. It was a stupid thing to do and I’m sorry. It won’t happen again. Come on, Nadine, don’t hold a couple of drinks against me.”
“It was more than a couple.”
“I got a little out of hand—”
“You threw up all over the back porch, Sam,” she said, irritated. Even her parents had been angry.
“I’m sorry. Forgive me?” he asked.
“Nothing to forgive.” She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around her knees. Sam had added liquor to his soda last night, and it was the first time Nadine had ever seen him drunk.
Leaning back on his elbows, Sam adjusted his sunglasses to protect his eyes. He had sobered up since the night before and was suffering with a hangover. His skin was paler than usual and two aspirin hadn’t seemed to help to ease the pain of what he called a thundering headache. “Don’t tell me. I know,” he said, wincing as a ten-year-old boy set off a string of firecrackers against all park and company regulations. The kid was promptly scolded by his mother. “I deserve this.” Sam reached for her hand and held it between two of his. “I probably wouldn’t have gotten so drunk if you wouldn’t have been in such a rotten mood.”
“So now it’s my fault?” she asked, removing her hand and feeling uneasy.
“What’s going on, Nadine? Something’s not right—and don’t bother trying to deny it.”
She couldn’t. It was time to be honest with Sam. She owed him that much. “I…I just think we shouldn’t see so much of each other,” she said in a quick rush of breath.
Sam didn’t move a muscle, just continued staring across the lake. “So much of each other?”
“Yes…”
“You want to date other guys?”
“I—”
“Who?” he demanded, suddenly facing her. His face suffused with color while his lips turned white.
“Who what?”
“Who is he?” he asked, his voice low. “There’s someone else, isn’t there?”
“No one special,” she lied.
“Like hell! Dammit, Nadine, where’d you meet him?” he demanded, suddenly furious.
“I just think it’s time we saw other people. That’s all.”
“Why now?” He glanced around, as if he expected one of the boys at the picnic to come up to Nadine and claim her as his own. “It’s not like we’re going steady or anything.”
Nadine tucked a strand of hair around her ear and hoped their conversation didn’t carry to other knots of people crowded around the stretch of beach. “In this town, two dates with one person is the same thing as going steady. You and I both know it. People couple up.”
“And you don’t want to be part of a couple.”
She steeled herself. She didn’t want to hurt him, but she couldn’t live a lie. “Not right now, Sam.”
His shoulders slumped as if with an invisible weight, and she felt instantly sorry for him. She liked Sam, she did. But he wanted their relationship to deepen, and he wasn’t the boy for her. The sooner he knew it, the better for him, she reasoned, but couldn’t help feeling like a heel.
And just who is the boy for you? Hayden Garreth Monroe IV? She frowned and picked up a small stone, skipping it along the surface of the lake and watching the rings of water ripple in perfect circles.
“I guess this is it, then,” Sam finally said, his jaw set in stony determination.
“We—”
“Don’t say ‘we can still be friends,’ Nadine, because we can’t. At least I can’t. Not right away.”
“I didn’t mean to—”
He waved off her apology, stood and without a look over his shoulder, found his way to a pack of his friends who were hanging out with Joe Knapp, Bobby Kramer, Rachelle Tremont and her younger sister, Heather. Rachelle was a striking girl with long, mahogany-brown hair, and hazel eyes that were as intelligent as they were beautiful. Heather was blonde and petite, but much more outgoing than her older sister. Though the youngest member of the group, she was the center of several boys’ attention, including Sam’s as he sidled up to them.
Nadine let out a sigh of relief and wiped the sweat from her forehead. Thunderclouds rolled over the mountains, gray and ominous and burgeoning with rain.
Tossing another stone into the water, Nadine closed her eyes, and silently wished that she’d see Hayden again soon.
Forty-five minutes later, as the pig was being carved, a speedboat jetted toward the dock. Nadine’s heart leapt as she recognized Hayden steering the boat inland. But her euphoria was quickly doused as she noticed his passenger—a tall, willowy girl who hopped out of the boat before Hayden could set the moorings.
His date was gorgeous. Her short blond hair was thick and streaked in shades of gold. A white sundress showed off a tan and legs that seemed to go on forever. At five-eight or-nine, she was model-thin and radiant. An effortless smile played upon her full lips as she grabbed hold of the crook of Hayden’s arm and made a beeline toward his parents.
Sylvia Monroe embraced her and Hayden’s father winked and gave her an affectionate pat on her rump while Hayden glowered and the girl, Wynona Galveston, Nadine guessed, was still linked to Hayden. She said something clever, everyone but Hayden laughed and Garreth herded them into one of the shaded tents.
Nadine felt as if a trailerload of stones had been dumped into her heart. Wretchedly she sat alone on her blanket, pretending interest in the swim races being organized for the children, while inside she was miserable. How could she have thought he cared for her—a simple, not-all-that-pretty country girl—when he was used to such sophisticated beauty? She felt incredibly naive and wretched inside.
Avoiding Hayden, she wished she could think of an excuse to go home. She didn’t have a ride, unless her father drove her, and from the looks of him, his face starting to flush with the combination of too much hazy sun and beer, a smile fixed onto his face, she doubted he would want to end the party.
Her mother, too, seemed content to sit and gossip with the other women while fanning herself with her fingers. Ben, with Patty Osgood, was having the time of his life. Even Kevin was laughing and joking with his friends and a few younger kids.
Sam was already gaining the attention of some of the girls, but Nadine didn’t care. He deserved someone who could care for him more deeply than she could. As for Hayden, he didn’t seem to be having much more fun than she.
She was shoving around the scalloped potatoes on her plate when Ben plopped down beside her at the picnic table. “So, it looks like Lover Boy has found someone new.”
She shot him a look meant to convey the message Drop dead.
“Dr. Galveston’s daughter. Big bucks.” He picked up his corn on the cob. “She looks good, too—blonde and sexy.”
“Like Patty Osgood.”
Ben scowled slightly. “I’m just pointing out that Wynona Galveston has looks and money. Who could want anything else?”
“Grow up,” she muttered.
“Maybe you should take that advice.” Ben ate a row of corn from his cob, then hooked a finger toward the tent where Garreth Monroe was holding court. “Face it, kid, you’d never fit in—and count yourself lucky for that. If Hayden marries Wynona, I’ll bet she’ll be miserable.”
“Why?”
“If not because of her husband, then look at her father-in-law. He’s had more affairs than you can count, and see the way h
e’s all smiles whenever Wynona’s around. What do you bet, he’s already set his sights on her.”
“That’s gross. He’s old—”
“Enough to be her father,” he finished for her. “Or her father-in-law. Doesn’t matter. He’s a tomcat. Always on the prowl. That whole family is bad news, Nadine. You’re better off with someone else.”
“Like Sam?” she asked, but to her surprise Ben shook his head.
“Don’t limit your options, kid. You could have the best. Don’t get me wrong. Sam’s a good guy, but…well, if you want to know the truth, he’s got his share of problems.”
“Is there anyone good enough?” she asked, a little hot under the collar. Where did Ben get off, trying to tell her how to run her life?
“Maybe not.”
“How about Tim Osgood?” she said. “Patty’s brother?”
Ben’s good mood vanished and he dropped his corncob onto his plate. “I was only trying to help.”
“Well, I can handle myself.”
“Sure you can,” he said, unconvinced. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”
“Nothing you wouldn’t do,” she replied, and his head snapped up as quickly as if he’d been stung. He started to say something, changed his mind and tore into the rest of his dinner. Nadine couldn’t eat another bite. She disposed of the remains of her meal in one of the trash cans and started back to the lake again, but stopped short when she nearly ran into Hayden and Wynona, stuck together like proverbial glue.
“Nadine!” Hayden grabbed hold of her arm for just a second, as if he were afraid she might slip by.
“Hi.” Her heart was thumping so fast, she could barely breathe. Surely they could both hear its erratic beat. Was she imagining things or did the tiniest smile touch the corner of his mouth at the sight of her? He made hasty introductions and Wynona, still clinging to his other arm, smiled brightly, as if she really was pleased to meet yet another one of Hayden’s father’s employee’s family members. She had grit; Nadine would give her that much.
Hayden’s eyes were hidden by sunglasses again, but Nadine felt the power of his gaze. Somehow she managed to make a few sentences of small talk before spying Mary Beth. “Look, nice to meet you, but I’ve got to run,” she said, hoping to stop the awkward conversation.