by C Renee
“No, fuck off. I won’t read it now.” I get up off my seat, I want to talk to mom about what will happen with dad, the business and everything else.
“Are you fucking kidding me!?” Damon pulls back my arm.
“What?” I turn around; I am not in the mood for a sibling feud. I am emotionally and physically drained from the day I have just had.
“You are a self-centered bastard. You need to show me the note.” Damon is getting angry, his face is getting red and his hands are now in fists.
Is he seriously thinking about punching me?
“Fuck off Damon, I don’t have to show you shit.” I shake off his arm and I try to walk off again. This time he lets me go.
“You’ll pay for this Alex.” I stop on the spot, I turn around and I watch Damon walk past me. He is going in the direction of the office. It must be where mom is.
I follow shortly behind him and I stand outside the door but I lean my ear against it.
“Can’t give Alex the whole company, he doesn’t even want it.” I hear Damon raising his voice.
“Alex is first born and in your father’s will. It is going to him.” That is coming from one of my dad’s businessmen, probably the lawyer.
“Damon, it’s what your father wanted. It’s written here on paper. You must respect his wishes.” Mom sounds cool, calm and collected. I wish she would lend me some of her strength.
“No! You can’t let him have 100% of the Knight Enterprises; he will run it into the ground. This is madness!” Damon’s voice continues to get louder.
“Sorry honey, I can’t do anything to help you.” Mom sounds like she’s coming closer to the door, so I quickly turn on my heel before anyone sees me ease dropping.
It’s not like I want to run my father’s company but if it’s his wishes then that’s what I’ll do. I won’t let Damon take it away from me.
“Alex, it’s good to see you again. I wish it was under different circumstances.” A sexy voice comes from behind me and I turn around to see who it’s coming from.
I should have known.
It’s Dr. Sin.
“Hello doctor.”
“Do you have a minute? I want to finish explaining what your father died of.” I lead her towards a different study that’s located upstairs.
This office is mine, it is right next door to my bedroom.
“I am truly sorry about your father, he seemed like a great man.” She is only inches away from me when she closes the door behind her.
“Yes he was.” I don’t want to be anywhere near her but I need answers, and I need them now.
“So what did my father die of?” I don’t want to fuck around, I need to set a plan and follow it. Right now Dr. Sin is fucking it up.
“Well, he has been living with Hodgkin Lymphoma. In the end he had bone cancer, anemia and it had spread to his major organs. It was aggressive cancer and he was lucky to have survived this long. He was a fighter.” That brings back memories, dad being unwell, saying he just had the flu. Even that night when I last saw Damon, I overheard dad and mom talking about keeping something from Damon and I. this must have been it.
Fuck!
“Thanks, you should go now.” I go to walk past her when she grabs me by the waist.
No this can’t be happening.
“I want you, Alex. I have since I first saw you and I can’t get you off my mind. I’m getting myself off thinking about you. Please put this ache to rest.” She lowers her hand to the zipper of my jeans.
“No, you can’t have me.” I grab her hand from my zipper and push her back.
“Are you fucking kidding me? You should be lucky to even be near me. You should feel privileged to be allowed near my pussy.” I didn’t see this coming.
“You’re wrong, I am already lucky. I have a strong independent woman waiting for me.” I walk the rest of the way to the door and open it. I don’t look back when I slam the door shut behind me.
What the fuck just happened?
* * *
One week later.
Today was the day of my father’s funeral.
The burial, ceremony and the wake were hard but I’m thankful to those who made it. I didn’t expect to see so many people showing their respects, family members, friends and work colleagues. It looked like the whole Knight Enterprises staff was there. My father would have been proud.
Damon didn’t show up, I didn’t expect him to. Not with the way he stormed out on mom last week. He flew back to England and we haven’t heard from him since.
Meetings upon meetings have been happening to get the board all up to speed. I haven’t made my decision to become CEO of the company but I have taken leave from being a paramedic. I won’t risk the lives of others if my head isn’t in the right place.
I’m sitting at home, all by myself nursing this warm scotch that I can’t bring myself to drink.
I’m a mess.
Louise agreed to stay with Steph until I get myself back on track but fuck, I miss her so much.
Reece has been calling every other day; he knows how I can get after a death. I won’t ever get as bad as when I lost Tiffany.
Today is the day where I will get my life back on track, to sort out my shit whether I want to become CEO and today is the day where Louise will move in with me.
I pick up the phone and dial Louise’s number; she picks up on the second ring.
“Hey, Alex are you alright?” God, I love her soft voice.
“Precious, come move in with me already.” I hear her inhale a breath before she takes a couple of seconds before she answers me.
“I didn’t think you could ask fast enough. I’ll be there within the hour.” That’s my girl.
I put my phone down and get off my ass. I walk towards the kitchen sink and pour the scotch down the drain. I won’t need that anymore. I turn around and face the apartment. It’s not messy but I think a quick clean wouldn’t kill anyone.
I start off in the spare bedroom, this is where Louise will be staying, and I don’t want it looking disgusting for her.
She deserves the best.
After 20 solid minutes of cleaning the apartment, it looks presentable enough for a woman to be living here. I couldn’t be happier with the outcome. I think she will fit right in just fine.
I go to my bedroom and lay on my bed. I think back to the past week, it started off with a high and went down hill from there. I’m still feeling empty without my dad but Louise fills that empty hole.
I move my pillow under my hand and I feel a piece of paper. I pull it out and I turn it over in front of me.
Fuck!
It’s my fathers note he gave me when he died. I forgot I had it under there, I would fall asleep knowing it was the last thing he gave me and wanted me to promise him that whatever was written in there I would do.
I haven’t read it yet; I don’t think I will ever.
Maybe when Louise is here, she can be there when I finally read it. To have support for when I decide to break down again. I’ve been doing that a lot lately. I have called mom several times a day in the last week but she doesn’t seem to be doing any better than I am.
The doorbell rings and it pulls me out of these dark thoughts. It must be Louise.
I quickly get off the bed and make my way across the apartment to the front door. I was right, it is Louise.
“Hey, I’m glad you said yes.” I look her up and down, I haven’t seen this beauty in a week and it has killed me.
My imagination hasn’t done me any justice.
“I’m glad you called, I have been worried about you.” I help Louise carry her luggage inside, I wheel it to the spare bedroom and she looks around the apartment.
“It’s not much, but it’s home.” I shrug, like it’s no big deal.
“No, it’s great. Thanks for letting me stay here.” I follow her back out to the living room and I’m praying that there won’t be any awkwardness between us.
I walk over towards her, but sh
e meets me half way.
“I’ve missed you.” She whispers, I wouldn’t have heard her if she wasn’t standing so close to me.
I wrap my arms around her waist and pull her in the rest of the way. Now her heads tucked under my chin and I can feel hear breath on my neck. She feels so soft and small against my frame. We fit perfectly together.
“I’ve missed you too.” I whisper back.
We stand like that for a few minutes before I make the choice to pull her away.
I lean down to her height, to look her in the eyes. Those grey eyes hypnotize my soul.
I’m going to kiss her.
I lick my lips before bringing them to meet hers, her lips are soft and warm.
I have gone a week without kissing her; it has been torture for me. I never want to go a day without kissing her again.
She opens her mouth to welcome my tongue, I’ve never been kissed with this much passionate, this much feeling into a simple kiss. This is everything to me.
The electrical currents are running through every vein in my body, I know she can feel it too when her body shakes.
I don’t want to stop kissing her but I have to do something first.
“Mmmm, Louise.” I murmur in her ear when I stop kissing those plump lips.
“Hmmm.” She hums in response. She’s floating on cloud nine and I want to join her.
But I can’t yet, this note is back to burning a hole in my pocket. I need her strength to get through this last hurdle.
“I need your help with something Lou,” I lead her to the couch.
“My father gave me this note right before he died and I haven’t had the balls to read it since. Now that you’re here, I want you to read it to me. Will you?” I hold my breath for her response. This is a big thing to ask of me and I hope she says yes.
“Are you sure you want me to read it? It could be very personal.” I can sense she doesn’t want to step on anyone’s toes but she needs to trust me.
“Do you trust me?” I have to ask, because if she doesn’t, then whatever ‘this is’ won’t go anywhere.
“Of course I do Alex, you should know that. After everything we have been through already.”
“Alright, then you should trust me when I say, whatever is on that note I want to share with you. So please read it out to me.” I take her hands and pass her the note. Pleased that it’s not in my hands anymore.
“Okay, I will read it.” She opens up the note and I can’t read her expression.
I don’t know if the note is good or bad.
Chapter Seven
Louise
THE NOTE THAT ALEX gave me is a scary for a piece of paper. I have no idea what’s on it. The way he’s looking at the note, I’m expecting it to light on fire. He has a haunted look in his eyes. I’m not sure I’m even ready to open the note.
What if whatever’s on the note changes us for good?
I’m not sure I’m ready to let Alex go again, not after everything we have been through.
“Are you going to open it?” Alex leans closer to study the note some more.
“Yes, I’m just bracing myself for whatever’s on it.” Patience, that man has none.
I look back down at the note and open it up until the writing on the page is visible.
The note reads:
Son,
For my dying wish, I want you to take my place on the board of Silver Shadows.
Since the Captain died in combat and let criminals escape the agency is under question. My seat on the board held a powerful vote.
Alex, they need you.
I need you to find the mole.
This is our last chance to make the agency right again.
Make me proud.
Love Dad.
I finished reading the note to Alex and I’m shocked. This will change everything for us. This has everything to do with Matt and his boys, trying to find them, making the agency I never knew existed right again and that’s all left up to Alex.
I look up at Alex and he looks sick. His face has paled, he isn’t moving and he won’t look at me.
What has his father done to him? How is this fair on Alex?
I wish his dad never gave him the note in the first place.
“Now I know why Dad wanted to give me the note.” Alex spoke softly. If I weren’t sitting so close to him I wouldn’t have heard it.
“Are you okay Alex? Do you want me to call someone?” I have no idea what to do. Alex is always the strong one out of us and now I need to be strong for him.
“Reece.” I watch Alex get up off the couch, snatch the note from me and walk towards his room.
What the fuck?
He didn’t have to be an asshole, this isn’t fair on me.
That note is all about my old life, me and now Alex is going to be more involved.
This is my fault, entirely.
I get off the couch and go towards where Alex left my bags in the spare room. I look around the room; it’s nice and cozy. It’s not like my bedroom back at Steph’s or my parent’s house but I can make it home. But it’s only temporarily.
I sit on the double bed and find my phone. I pull up Reece’s number and dial it.
“Hey Lou, What’s up?” Reece answers on the third ring. He must be on duty or didn’t want to answer my call.
“You need to get here right now, it’s Alex.” I’m trying to hold myself together but it’s proving to be difficult.
“I’ll finish up with this bride and be on my way. Don’t go near him, especially when he gets like this.” Reece hangs up and I’m left all alone.
I decided to unpack my bags and to make this room feel a little like mine.
The bedspread and the furniture are simple. The headboard is black, the chest of draws and the lamps that rest on the bedside tables are all black. The bedcover is silver, which makes the room less dark and cold.
The built-in closet is massive; it can fit my clothes in here ten times over. It’s amazing.
I unpack my clothes and I feel like it’s empty. I think I need to do a huge shopping spree as soon as I’m back to work, but I don’t want it to feel like that I’m moving in here permanently because that is not the case.
My clothes are put away; the room feels somewhat like mine. I think I need to buy brighter things to make it feel girlier, it’s more me.
I hope when I do go back to work that I don’t get weird stares or I get asked stupid questions. As far as everyone is concerned, I’ve been on a really big holiday. I have my psych appointment next week and I don’t want to go. I don’t want to rehash the last few months to a complete stranger. They will probably lock me up and throw away the key.
No one should ever go through what I have gone through, ever.
But, on the plus side, I wouldn’t be living here with Alex. He truly is amazing and I hope he pulls through this.
I need him.
The knock at the front door shakes me out of my dark thoughts and I immediately get up off the bed and race to the door. It better be Reece or else I’ll hurt someone.
I swing the door open and I felt myself sag with relief.
It’s Reece.
“Hey beautiful, it’s good seeing you too.” Reece chuckles at my expression. I didn’t know I was showing sadness.
“Just come inside, Alex needs you.” I move aside to let him pass and he doesn’t say anything else. I watch him walk towards Alex’s room. I hear the door open and close. It’s back to silence now. I wish there was more I could do to help. The way he looked after reading that note, not saying anything else to me. I feel empty inside.
I can’t take this anymore, I need to leave, to get out and actually do something with my life. Well today anyway.
I grab my bag and close the door behind me. I’m not sure what I will do, since Steph is at work and my parents don’t want me around while they try to make their house livable again. Maybe Seth would want to catch up while he’s still in town. I have missed my big brother.
<
br /> I dial Seth’s number. Come to think of it, I haven’t spoken to him since I was in the hospital, Seth doesn’t like talking on the phone, he likes to text instead but I try my luck in calling him.
“Hey baby sis.” He picks up on the first ring, that’s unusual for him.
“Want to go out for lunch? I need to get out of the house and everyone else was busy.” I give my happiest voice but deep inside my heart is back with Alex. When did my feelings for him become unbearable? I wish he knew how I felt. It would make this situation much easier.
“Sure, I’ll meet you at Wicked Café on Swanson Street.” Seth hung up and that left me with a mission for today.
It is going to be sister and brother bonding kind of day. This should keep my mind occupied for a while.
Reece better fix Alex.
The Wicked Café was only 20 minutes from Alex’s so I made it before Seth got here. I can’t stop thinking about Alex.
What is going through his head?
Does he think this is my fault?
Will he eventually open up to me?
Will he just lock me out of his life forever?
So many questions are circling and I need Seth to hurry up, I need them to die down for a while.
Reece still hasn’t texted me about an update on Alex. I don’t need this kind of stress now, not while I’m still healing and the stress about Matt still being out there.
I can’t go there, that place is still too dark to even think about. I know he is still a large risk in my life but I will NOT let him win. Not after everything.
I find a seat in the café closest to the front door. I like to know I can make a fast escape if I have to and it will be easy for Seth to find me.
The waitress comes over to the table and asks for my order. I’ve lost my appetite to eat anything but I do order a large coffee. I need all the caffeine I can get.
I have to sit facing the door so I know who’s coming and going from the café. I don’t want to be surprised at any moment.
I watch a family of three walk through the door. The couple has a little daughter holding onto the mother’s hand. The child has the cutest smile and it pulls at my heart. My chest gets tight with regret and longing, knowing I’ll never be able to have a little girl of my own.