by C Renee
LAST NIGHT WAS AMAZING, well when we got home from lunch. Everything up from that point was… it was something.
I’ve never had sex four times in one night; Alex could have kept going but I couldn’t. I need an early night for my therapist session that I have today.
Thinking back on the way Alex was touching me, whispering sweet nothings in my ear and the way he was looking at me is getting me all hot and bothered.
I look around the waiting room at the therapist’s office and no one seems to be watching me. I feel my cheeks are on fire and the tingling sensation down south won’t go away.
Alex sure does know his way around my body, it’s like a god sent just for me.
“Miss Carter, your session is ready to begin.” A lady from behind the desk calls out to me; it’s not the bitch from the other day. I will be glad if I don’t have to see her again.
I walk down the corridor to Dr. Wicked’s office. Once I’m standing outside the door I hesitate to knock. I know my session time has already started but I feel like I don’t need to talk about my past anymore.
“Come in Louise.” Damn it, she knows I’m there. I have to go in now.
‘Stop being a bitch Louise get in there.’ I tell myself.
I pull the door open and Dr. Wicked is sitting in her usual chair, with a pen and notepad ready to write down all my messed up issues.
“It’s good to see you again Louise, I hope you feel better from the last time we saw each other.” I walk in and close the door behind me. I would hate for other people to hear our conversations.
“I’m fine, but before we start can I ask you a question?” I’m hoping she will give me a straight answer.
“Fine, but only one question.” I can’t tell if she’s being sarcastic.
“I want to know how many sessions we have to do, to get me cleared for work. I am getting bored at being home and Alex worries about me. He needs to go back to work as well.” I know he is missing work, his whole life changed because of me and this is the least I can do for him.
“Two more sessions, if you promise you will be more open about your past, present and future.” Wow, is that all? I was expecting like another two or three months more of sessions. In that case I will be completely open and honest.
“Sure, let’s get started.” I take a seat across from her and settle down for these questions.
“So we have spoken about Matt and the past you two shared, is there anything else you want to discuss before we move on? Now be honest with me here Louise.”
“I really can’t think of anything except the lead up before I left.” I watch her write something down on the notepad before looking up at me.
“Go on Louise, tell me about what happened. Don’t forget that I already know everything from the moment you got in that car accident until now.” Isn’t anything kept private these days?
“Alright, I’ll tell you about a time when everything was okay, just before things started to go down hill. At this point, I was still somewhat happy with him.”
It was a warm night and Matt promised to take me skinny dipping at the beach for a little reward. It was Matt’s reward rather it be mine because he hadn’t hit me in over a month. For me it was a relief than it was a reward but I felt like I had the ‘old Matt’ back.
That was a great feeling to have, to know things like the old days had started to come back
I went into my job and I didn’t have to explain any unusual bruises or why I couldn’t work. I enjoyed being normal for that month.
“Are you ready Louise? It doesn’t matter what you wear because it will be coming off.” He chuckled. It was so good to hear him laugh like that; maybe things were looking up for us.
“I’m ready, I’m ready.” I walked out of the bathroom and Matt was standing there, only wearing his board shorts. He looked delicious with his six-pack and the V line poking out from his shorts.
“You look beautiful tonight Louise.” Matt closed the distance between us and he wrapped me in his embrace. I could have gotten used to this, but I felt like the other shoe was about to drop.
Matt pulled me back at arms length and gave me a sweet kiss on the lips. It was nice.
“Let's get going, we don’t want to miss this fun adventure.” He took my hand and led me out of the house.
The drive to the beach was quiet, it felt like Matt had a lot on his mind and he didn’t share anything with me. That was normal but things seemed to be changing for us and I did hope he would let me in. He didn’t.
“Here we are.” Matt pulled into a parking lot and it was pitch black. I couldn’t see outside of the car without lights on. Matt packed the flashlight and towels for the trip.
“Come on, don’t chicken out on me.” Matt got out of the car and I followed him.
It was the same beach he took me to when we had one of our first dates, I couldn’t believe he remembered that.
“Come on Louise, let’s get down to the water.” Matt took my hand with the flashlight in the other and he led us down the stairs.
Matt told me not to wear shoes and I was glad I listened to him, I took my last step off the stairs and my feet immediately touched the soft sand. I felt it going in between my toes but I still couldn’t see anything in front of me besides darkness.
“This way Louise.” Matt pulled my hand and I followed him. All I could see was the little flashlight leading the way.
“Where are we going? I thought we would be heading to the water by now.” I was getting a little impatient about not knowing where we were going.
“Just a little further.” We rounded a corner and I stopped, I was frozen in place. There in front of me was a circle of bright candles; the fire was waving in the light wind.
“You did this?” I asked Matt when he led me in the middle of the circle.
“Yes, I wanted tonight to be special.” It was still hard to see in the dark but I could see Matt getting down on one knee.
No, no, no no no.
“Louise, this past month has been amazing and we have been together for a year now. I know I can change and be the man you want me to be. So I want you to give me the chance to be that man for you, will you marry me Louise?” Holy Fuck. I couldn’t believe he actually proposed to me. My instant thought wasn’t yes.
After everything we had been through, I wasn’t sure if saying yes would have been the right move.
“Sweetness, you’re killing me here.” Matt’s voice rang throughout the darkness.
“I… I… this month has been amazing but how long will it truly last? I’m sorry but I can’t marry you.” I had tears running down my face, and because of them I couldn’t see Matt’s fist coming. He hit me square on the jaw.
“I had hoped you would have said yes, but now? I don’t know what to do with you.” Matt started walking off and left me standing here clutching my face and the tears starting flowing heavier.
“You better be following me.” Matt roared in the night.
Fuck.
“No matter the slight happiness I had with Matt, it would always end up with violence and that was the starting point of me wanting to leave.” That was a really painful memory to bring up. Knowing that somewhere deep down I could have had the life I always wanted but Matt wasn’t the right person for me. I wipe away the tears that had escaped.
“Is there anything else you want to share about the past before we can tick that off the list?” Dr. Wicked looks up from her notepad. She doesn’t look impressed about the story I just told, well too bad because that actually happened and I can’t take it back.
“Nope, everything else about the past with Matt has been awful. Mostly downs then ups and you can just imagine the downs I’ve been through.” I just want this nightmare to be over, I don’t want to relive anything I ever had with Matt again.
“Alright, let’s talk about your present. How are you and Steph?” I really don’t know how to answer that, she seems to push me aside for her new boyfriend and I know I shouldn’t be jealous of th
at, but I just got my best friend back.
“Ah… it’s okay. She’s my best friend.” I wonder how honest I’m willing to get today.
“Tell me about what’s happening right now in your life regarding Steph.”
“Well she’s dating Alex’s best friend Reece. I don’t see her often and when I do Reece is always there or he will be. She took me to a dress store so she could pick out a gown for herself. She has a work function and normally I would be her date but this time it’s Reece.” I hang my head in shame; this shouldn’t be who I am. I am jealous of my best friend for finally being happy with someone.
“How does that make you feel? Knowing that Reece is always around Steph?” Dr. Wicked quickly writes down a few notes before looking back at me.
“I guess… I am jealous. I’m finally back living my life and I don’t have my best friend by my side like I thought I would. I hate not being at work and seeing her every day and now I have to share her. I know it’s wrong to feel this way but it’s there.” I can’t believe how honest I just got.
“Does she know how you feel about this? Do you think going back to work would change things? Do you think she feels the same way now that you have Alex?” She’s full of questions today.
“No, I don’t get enough time with her alone to express these feelings and I doubt she feels like this towards me. She is an open book and would just come on out and tell me. I think going back to work would help but would it change things? I honestly can’t tell you that.” I wonder if Steph feels this way, I know if she did, she would tell me straight out.
“How are things with your family? Are you glad they are back in your life?” What kind of questions are these?…
“Yes of course I’m glad they are back in my life, you have no idea how much I’ve missed them. Every day I was with Matt, I would wonder what my mom and dad would do in certain situations. To not be able to pick up the phone and hear their voices killed me. My brother and I were best friends before he left for his job and he came back home. I loved every minute I spent with him but he has left me again and I hate it. I hate it so much but I can’t force him to stay home, he needs to find his woman. My family is everything to me.” Silly questions if you ask me.
“We are still talking about the present, now don’t get confused on the present and past questions.” She looks down at her notes and then bites her lip. Great, these are going to be fucked up questions.
“Get to it Dr. Wicked.” Our session is nearly up and I want this present talk to be over.
“I am updated every so often about reports of you outside of these four walls. I worry about you because I heard that Matt is still at large. I shouldn’t be talking to you about this but I’m worried about your safety. I also heard that Matt has new people working for him, is that true?” What the actual fuck?
I am shocked.
This is all new information.
Does Alex know all this?
“Ah… I’ve never heard about that information, what else do you know that I should be made aware about?” I am not leaving this room until I get answers.
“Just that you have men following your every move to keep you safe from threats. Why would Matt do this to you? Come after you like this and ruin you?” I knew a past event question would pop up in there.
“I ran away, I wouldn’t be his pet and I lived.” I’ve had enough questions for today. I need to get out of here and talk to Alex about this new information and how this therapist knew about that Intel.
“Oh would you look at that, our session is up.” I gather my things and quickly walk across the room to the door.
“Louise, just be careful. Matt sounds like a really dangerous man. I would hate to see you die.” She looks at me and then back to her notepad.
What a strange thing to say, I don’t wait around for her to say anything else.
I open the door and make a run for it; I don’t bother closing the door.
This day has gotten too weird.
I’m sitting on the couch in the living room waiting for Alex to get home. He has a lot of explaining to do, first he dropped the bombshell about possibly being a father to a model’s baby. Then he expects me to stay around if it turns out to be his. Then today I find out that I have men following me and Matt has new people working for him. I wonder why Alex hasn’t mentioned this to me, why he would keep me in the dark regarding my own safety?
How did that therapist get that information and why would she tell me about it? That is the strangest part of my day. I know that therapist is a whack job but I also know that I have to go back and talk about my thoughts and feelings if I ever want to be cleared to go back to work. This day fucking sucks.
Is the therapist working with Matt? It would explain how she knew things that no one should. I’m no good to her because I don’t know anything anyway. I’m being kept in the dark and I don’t know whether that’s a good thing right now.
“Louise where are you?” Alex comes through the door and starts calling out my name, he should know I’m home by my car sitting out front.
“Yeah, I’m in the living room.” I call out, I don’t need him stressing about me going missing.
Alex comes into view and he is wearing a dark navy suit with a white tie, he looks sexy as hell. He stalks into the kitchen, places his briefcase on the counter and unbuttons his suit jacket. The muscles in his arms bulge against the sleeve. The nasty things I want to do with him right now takes over any doubt I have of him lying to me. I could jump his bones right…
“Louise? Why are you looking at me like that?” Alex’s voice clears my naughty thoughts of him.
“Oh nothing, you look good. I like you in suits.” I try to lighten the mood but I can tell that Alex sees right through me.
“Louise,” Alex stalks closer, he takes off his jacket completely.
“Tell me what’s going on.” He is standing right in front of me; I have to lean back on the couch to get a good look at him. He is towering over me and he has a smirk on his face. He knows exactly what’s going on but I won’t let him win this.
“Nothing, just my therapist shook me today and I don’t want to go back. If I want to be cleared for work then I have to go back.” Alex face changes and he takes the seat next to me.
“Tell me what happened.” So I fill him in with what the therapist said, about men following my every move, that Matt has recruited new people and that my safety is at risk.
“Alex what is she talking about?” I look him square in the eye and wait for him to speak. His next words can go either way, he could lie to my face or he could tell me the truth. I hope he will be honest with me.
“Louise, I never suspected the therapist to be any harm to you but the agency had their suspicion. I hoped they were wrong, but she knows way too much and she doesn’t get her Intel from any of us.” I look at Alex with the most shocked expression I can manage. I had my own suspicion but I suppressed it because I didn’t want to think that Matt is still out there trying to control my life. I know he wants me dead but before that can happen, he wants to play with me first.
“I wasn’t allowed to tell you any of that Louise but I guess that cat’s out of the bag. Is there anything else you want to know about and it will give me the chance to tell you myself.” Alex looks sad and hurt, I know I should be mad at him for keeping this information from me but I’m not. He was only protecting me and that makes me love him more.
“Thank you for keeping it to yourself Alex, it takes a lot to keep huge secrets. I forgive you but please don’t keep anything from me again.” He looks relieved and happy.
“Alright, ask me questions and I’ll tell you.” He leans over and kisses me on the lips. It was one of those soft ones but they have a lot of promise for more later. I grin to myself, I can’t wait.
Chapter Sixteen
Alex
I HAVE LOUISE SITTING next to me, she is thinking of questions to ask me. I feel so fucking horrible for keeping secrets from her but I had
no other choice. The agency has huge leads on Matt’s members and even a lead on where Matt is hiding out. I found out who Louise’s stalker is but she has disappeared again. I’m going to tell Louise everything but only if she asks the right questions. It’s not lying to her if she doesn’t ask the correct questions.
“Well is there a lead on Matt, do they know where to find him?” I had a feeling that would be her first question.
“Yes, reports have recently came in and they know where he is staying. They are taking everything slow because they aren’t sure on how many people are working with him now.” She doesn’t look impressed with that answer but I know the agency is working around the clock to bring this son of a bitch down.
“Okay, well I wish all this would blow over. I’m sick of this heavy weight sitting on my shoulders. I want to start my life again and stop looking over my shoulder.” I fucking hate that how she feels this way. I wish I could kill the bastard myself but I’ll probably die trying.
“I am sorry about that, I truly am but you have one more session with the therapist to give you the all clear. I know it’s not ideal to go back to her but she’s who the hospital ordered and the agency recommended. Just one more session.” I lean over to give her another kiss, to reassure her that everything will be okay.
“Okay, one more session. I’ll make sure it’s for next week, I would really like to get back to work.” I know how she’s feeling, the meeting with mom today made things clearer with my decision and then the big bombshell that happened today. I can’t wait to tell Louise about it.
“Do you have any more questions?” I can literally see the wheels turning inside her head.
“Lou, ask me any question. Don’t filter it.” I know she will hesitate because she won’t want to know the answer.
“What about Matt’s boys? A few of them were like family to me and I know they are good people. They just need the right help and guidance to have better lives and I want to help them with that. I want you to talk to your boss to make it happen.” I was not expecting that, I knew she had to be in the interviewing room but not this.